>21
>"studying" at university
>do the easy tasks but when big assesments come, leave it """tomorrow"""
>many weeks later, day of deadline: "Fuck it. I'll just catch up with next assesment."
>repeat
>shat on my 1st year and failed all 8 of my units (2 semesters)
>now on repeat year and surprise surprise, doing it again
I've got no motivation. My knee-jerk reaction is to make excuses/lie/run away from anything even remotely out of my comfort zone.
What's worse is that that includes talking to people in general. Can't hold a casual convo for more than a couple seconds, let alone initiate one. I haven't even got the spine to consult a therapist. I have a friend from hs and I can't even be honest with 'em about all this.
As you can tell, i'm """depressed""" by all this (cant confirm coz again im a dumbass for not asking for professional help)
On the bright side, I go to the gym with this hs friend which sorta helps (but not really since lack of motivation)
And I'm still here typing this, coz I still care about my familia :/
Sounds a lot like me. Half the reason I don't talk to people is that I'm too lazy.
>>16991393
My issue is every time a "moment' comes up, I don't really know what to say and then I overthink things. Then have doubts. Then I be a wuss and not do it. Goddamit.
>>16991332
Did that for three years.
Deep rooted problems led me to be avoidant.
After a point you just get so ashamed of what you've become that you force yourself to change
>>16991459
What were those changes you've made specifically, if you don't mind me asking?
I dunno OP but once you figure it out let me know. I'm 24 and at my third attempt at uni and it doesn't get any easier.
>>16991332
I did this when I started Uni and did a lot of drugs now I'm 19 and trying to go back and worried I'll do it again
Basically OP, that bad feeling you have, just face it head on, force yourself to feel it, then let it go on through you, that is the only thing that has allowed me to somewhat move on. Still struggling. Basically I get scared a lot. But instead of hiding or running, I get sick of myself I get angry and say "no more, enough" and just push on. So basically this.
>>16991459
Avoidant as fuck here too. I want to be isolated from everyone and refused to talk to people for a while, pretended I'm mute. Basically when I went to Uni I feigned amnesia for some people I knew saying I was in a car accident and they bought it. Decided to continue ignoring them.
This time around when I go back, if I see anyone I knew, I'd rather just not talk to them or if they try to talk to me, I'll keep it curt. Not interested in talking to assholes or pretending they aren't there. Same thing applies for when I meet new people. If I see someone is just a superficial douche bag I just keep them out of my life.
