I have a gigantic crush on a guy. I want to talk to him all the time but I don't want to be annoying. Should I text him or leave him alone? Most of the time he initiates it but I don't want to be seen as thirsty, clingy, creepy or weird.
You better start texting him a bit too. If he's the one texting you all the time, there will come a time where if he has any interest in you, it will probably go away. You need to show interest, but not too much. Just act normal.
>>16988835
How should I start it off? I'm completely retarded at this stuff.
>>16988867
>Hey, Whats up?
>What are you up?
You two seem to be close enough as to just say hi to each other and start talking. Don't over think it. Just talk.
And general rule of thumb, Don't text him more than once. If he takes a bit to respond, let him do it when he gets to it.
>>16988826
Well, if you were the guy, everybody would go all over the place:
JUST ASK HER! The worst what can happen is you stop being a pussy.
But you are the girl which everybody expects to take the passive role. But we have 21st century with equality and feminism and stuff. So:
JUST ASK HIM OUT!
>>16988905
Why do they need to jump the gun that fast? That is a sure fire way to fuck things up, and it's exactly the thing she wants to avoid.
>>16988826
OP, I don't know enough about your relationship with him to suggest asking him out. I wouldn't.
Op.
Should I fuck off? say something??
>>16988936
>Oh, ok. I'm doing X
>>16988943
but I'm not doing shit ):
>>16988936
just tell him youre rubbing your boobs together
>>16988967
Then start doing something!
>I'm playing X game
>I'm watching X video on youtube
>I'm reading X book
Come on. You gotta try a little harder now.
>>16988936
>hit me up when it's over and tell me what you thought
You now have two hours to agonize over what you're going to talk about
>>16988978
>>16988981
>playing videos games, tell me if its good
okay I did it
>>16988988
DAMN IT OP
NO
You just shut down the conversation. There's no retort to that. What is he gonna say? "OK. I will"
You better hope to god he asks you what video game, or you just fucked it up.
>>16989000
> he didn't reply
>>16988826
I have this same problem with a girl but now I don't get much response from her. I go fucking nuts and I am clingy but when we do talk everything is alright. Fuck there was a time when she didn't respond for two weeks and I was really feeling depressed
If he unironically likes Woody Allen movies you may have dodged a bullet
>>16989020
God damn it OP. I told you.
Well, live to fight another day. Think about what you're gonna text before you send it. Try to leave room for a response.
>>16989026
You need to chill out dude. She obviously isn't all that interested in holding a conversation with you, so why should you bother? Find someone else to talk to. Don't be that guy.
>>16988936
why is a dude watching that movie?
>>16989059
he watches anything desu..... he still didn't reply.
>>16989026
>didn't respond for two weeks
Did you say hi or anything in that time, or just wait around for her to text?
In those situations, I like to do the 'wait three days, say hi' game. I'll wait a few days, if they don't say anything, I'll say 'hi' or 'wow it's sunny out, this is awesome' or something similar. If I don't get a reply, I wait a few more days then just ask how they are. You never know, they may be stressed out over something else in their life. If they don't respond after the last text, I leave them alone.
Or, alternatively, if it's been a little over a week, I maay stop by where they work or hang out to see if something happened to their phone and they lost my number-but don't be clingy or rude about it. If they are there and say they've just been busy, then I smile and nod, and say I'll catch them later.
>>16989147
Just let him be Op, he probably just got busy doing something else like eating or shower. Try texting him tomorrow if he doesn't respond to today.
If you guys are somewhat good friends, you could try to plan to do something yourself and then invite him to it.
Like 'hey, I think I'm going to hit up the arcade cause I'm bored, wanna shoot some zombies with me?'
Or 'hey I was thinking about taking a walk around town to places I haven't been in a while, feel like getting some sun with me?'
Simple things that don't necessarily imply a date, but get you both out doing something together. If he pulls a 'are you asking me on a date?' thing, just text back-'do you want it to be?'
>>16988826
the problem is you are projecting how you think as a woman on him. guys don't find "clinginess" unattractive, quite the opposite, as long as you don't take it to full psycho "oh shit I better run" territory
>>16989191
also, don't listen to basically everyone else in this thread.
either he likes you and he'll be happy if you text him all the time, or he doesn't like you and there isn't shit you can do, and he'll just ignore you.
there's less of the mind games girls try to get us to play
>>16989191
I would argue there is a big difference between affection and clinginess.
Clinginess implies you have some issues that you haven't worked on-trust, fear of being left alone, fear of losing someone, etc. Whereas affection is pretty different in that you can be very loving and show it often, but still be an adult and be your own person and be able to take care of yourself if the other person were to walk away.
>>16989175
>Like 'hey, I think I'm going to hit up the arcade cause I'm bored, wanna shoot some zombies with me?'
>Or 'hey I was thinking about taking a walk around town to places I haven't been in a while, feel like getting some sun with me?'
DO NOT listen to these people
>>16989210
The fact that you are demanding they not listen to anyone elses advice but your own speaks volumes to how many issues you have.
>>16989213
Not demanding, strongly advising.
>>16989210
>DO NOT listen to these people
>>16989217
Suuuure. Sure buddy.
>>16989209
yeah, no. I don't want a woman who thinks "I'll be just fine if he walks away"
That's how you should be thinking, as the man. She would be a LITTLE dependent on you..
>>16989210
I don't see a problem with that. It's actually pretty sound advice, to get the wheels turning without coming off all like "I WANT YOU TO BE MY BF NOW"
>>16989223
Command sentences are commonly used with when giving advice. Is English your first language?
>>16989229
It sounds cringey af, beating around the bush. A simple "hey want to walk around with town with me?" would be much better.
>>16989227
If you can't handle a break up without it stopping your whole life, and or causing you to stop functioning as a healthy human being, then you have some goddamn issues and you really should work on them.
Both people shouldn't WANT to break up, and they really should work on issues to get through them together, but if one person decides they just don't want to work on it anymore and to call it quits, then the other person should be able to move on after some time.
I'm not saying they won't be sad, frustrated, or not want it to end, I am simply saying they shouldn't fall into a pit of 'my life isn't worth anything without them here'.
That's not healthy.
>>16989227
*she should be
>>16989241
>I am simply saying they shouldn't fall into a pit of 'my life isn't worth anything without them here'.
yeah that's a little extreme, and not what I was saying at all. The problem is you are ignoring the fact that a male-female relationship is not perfectly symmetrical, both parties are happier when she's a little more dependent on you than you are on her
>>16989235
The minute someone comes at me with a commanding tone or words in their sentence, I shut down half of whatever they were trying to get me to hear.
I do not take commands from people, and they shouldn't expect me to. I am not their child, slave, or worker. They can suggest something to me, or suggest I change this about my life, and I will listen and make my own decision about whether I want to take their advice or not.
Telling me 'I need to do this', or 'you need to do that' just sounds very bossy to me, and in some cases makes me think the persons narcissistic.
>>16989239
Mofo, is some chick asked me if I wanted to walk around town, and I wasn't that good of friends, I would assume far more than the words they simply said. Stating why they are walking around or why they are going out, and then inviting me along makes me feel less obligated and like they actually do just want to hang out.
>>16989249
"women are happier when they're more dependent on you, giving them a reason to turn into insecure, clingy, nags!"
Yeah, no. I agree that romantic relationships are rarely symmetrical, but who is the chased/chasing isn't always drawn on gender lines. While some women might respond to the situation you describe in a good way, others will not. You can't be sure.
>>16989253
Ok cool, I should clarify its commonly used by men with healthy testosterone levels.
And she wants to hang out with you, whats complicated about that? No need to justify with "getting sun" or especially "shooting zombies".
Something tells me you don't get a lot of girls asking you to hang out.
>>16989254
Ya, I could never be with someone like the person he is describing.
I am my own person and I need to earn respect from my partner, and my partner needs to earn respect from me. We should want to work on issues together and if one of us isn't happy, or doesn't want to work on things (which makes me feel like I'm not worth enough to them to work on the issues), then we should probably part ways. I would be sad of course, break ups are never easy, but I would be ok in the end.
>>16988826
what type of guy is he?
depends on the guy.
>>16989254
yeah it falls on dominant-submissive lines, which I suspect in your case is not the same as gender lines
>>16989294
Well even with the dominant/submissive thing, that should all be discussed and agreed upon before you even get too far into the relationship. Just assuming someone is going to like or want to be in that type of relationship from the start is kind of a bad idea, because they may just go along with it and never tell you they don't like it for fear of being in trouble or their partner being mad at them.
>>16989303
You're a fucking wimp on a very, very deep level dude. You should not agree on that beforehand, it should be obvious from outset.
>Just assuming someone is going to like or want to be in that type of relationship from the start is kind of a bad idea, because they may just go along with it and never tell you they don't like it for fear of being in trouble or their partner being mad at them
Literally who cares. Not your problem.
And it makes no sense. If she goes along with the dominant/submissive thing because she's scared of her partner being mad at her, guess what she's submissive. If she's unhappy, you should not be an autist and pick up on that and break up with her.
>>16989329
>Assuming people can read fucking minds
>Assuming this isn't abuse
I really hope you don't live in the USA
>>16989365
>he cant read minds
>>16989026
>>16989047
Well I was more depressed by the fact no one was keeping in touch at all. I kind of gave up on her until she told me... she named cats after both of us on that popular phone game
>>16988826
All you need to is come on to him. Period that simple
>>16989365
>understanding who is the dominant party in a relationship or if someone is unhappy is reading minds
Guess who's on the spectrum
>>16989400
Ok, now you're just not making fucking sense.
Go take your pills grandpa, you're actin crazy.
>>16988826
>I don't want to be seen as thirsty, clingy, creepy or weird.
Think of it this way: if he would think less of you for texting him first, he's not worth the time and effort.
>>16988826
>Most of the time he initiates
that means he likes you too and you should worry about coming off as >thirsty, clingy, creepy, or weird
