Have you ever ignored a person you had crush on? Why?
only done it a few time but it's mainly cause the girl shows her true colors.
Last girl I was talking to had a huge princess complex. We're almost 30 and she's still pulling that shit.
instantly stopped caring. She now does everything in her power to fish for validation and to see if I'm paying attention to her
Because I'm fat, ugly and she deserved better.
>>16988524
because after the first date I realized she was not what I pictured.
they're always better from a distance
>>16988542
at least you're owning your flaws and not blaming on the grill
eat smaller portions, download Myfitnesspal, you don't really need to work out but it helps tone while you lose.
There is such thing as facial reconstruction and plastic surgery if you think you ugly af
Maybe she did deserve better but its cause you need to love yourself first before you can love her
Yes. Currently right now. I'm so nervous around him and that makes me feel pathetic. I stutter and blush. He just smiles and makes me feel even worse because he acts so coolly. I assume he acts like that because he doesnt reciprocate the oh-so-obvious feelings for him so i distance myself to get over him faster and to save myself an embarrassment
Because I felt like I had no chance. Self confidence = 0
>>16988524
No, because I'm not in elementary school.
>>16988524
Yes. I have a crush on a coworker and she has a boyfriend and kid, so I know it is a completely pointless crush. In order to make things as cool as possible, I try to avoid her.
>>16988524
Because she told me she isn't seeing anybody and when i asked the girl out got a msg from bestfriend who tried to help me that they are together.
Unfriend on facebook both of them, they greet me i don't
>>16988524
Because I finally understood just what I'd been doing, how creepy I'd been, and the damage I'd done. There was no way to make things right: leaving her alone was as close as I could get. So I did what I could.
>>16988524
Cos it's just infatuation and nothing more.
>>16988524
yeah, figured the person is having a FWB with a good friend of mine
>>16988604
maybe hes just too insecure to make a move for whatever reason
>>16988524
Yes, it was the first and last time I fell in love and she was the first and last girl that liked me.She flirted with me throughout highschool. I ignored her and acter a bit like a jerk (giving sarcastic answers etc.). At the graduation she told me that she'll miss me and instead of saying "I'll miss you too" I only said "ok".Then she got visibly angry and was like "Alright,Anon, fine" and left. Never saw her since. I regret nothing,because I never wanted to be in a relationship and she deserved way better anyway.
Yes, because I am a socially awkward individual at times who can't adjust quickly.
tl;dr I fuck up.
>>16988604
He smiles at you? That's a good sign, if you really want him go for it.
Yes, and it's happening to me right now. I'm too insecure to make a move.
The worst part is that she likes me too but i just can't bring myself to talk to her.
There's a cute girl at work but I keep a friendly distance because 1) I have a much stronger crush that's eating at me 2) We do similar things at work so that's kinda weird 3) She has all these name-brand fancy things so I'm not sure we'd be compatible money-wise.
>>16988820
I have been in the same spot, and waiting way too late. Advice from the fuckup you're about to become, just do it. Straight up no going back, no second guess, no rehearsal in your head of ways to, just set it and go through with it.
>>16988820
Fear of rejection, embarrassment and it not working between you and the person is the fucking worst. I envy the people who can just jump from relationship to relationship and not give a shit about anything.
>>16988773
nah he seems pretty confident i believe hanging out with all those people and being surrounded with girls
>>16988787
Thats what my friend said as well. I'm still shy i guess
His brother mentioned that my crush thinks no girl is attractive in school, but is going to prom anyway. His brother also said he guesses he gay as well
Thanks, homies, but i dont think i have chance
>>16988820
I never understood why it would be hard to ask out someone you know they like you. If they like you why would you fear rejection? I hope i don't come off as rude. I'm just genuinely curious.
I've been ignored a lot...probably cause they want nothing to do with me, not cause they dont want to catch feelings lel
>>16988524
yeah, because I know it isn't mutual, when really honest to god, i loved her. it wasn't a crush for me. She didn't love me though.
>>16988869
Because if another person likes me, it's because they don't know me that well, and if we get closer they'll realize what a huge mistake they made and things will end, probably not at all amicably.
>>16988862
You can't be defeatist like that, what's the worst that could happen? If you don't do nothing you'll pass the rest of your life wondering about what could have been!
There is someone I have a terrible crush on but I can't bring myself to even look at him. We hooked up once and it was terrible. Right after the sex he just ignored me and stood hunched over his phone for 10 minutes. Then he played a video game sitting far away from me. To be honest I'd never experienced anything like it. When I tried to talk to him i was awkward and he got very mad at me and made it clear he wAnted nothing to do with me. When I left he slammed the door and locked it. It still hurts to think about it. Now he looks right through me and so do his friends. I still feel humiliated.
>>16988980
You shouldn't feel bad about it. That guy seems like a total clown.
>>16988939
Wondering what could've happened is all I do in life. It's all I daydream. I think I just have a low self-esteem and shit social skills. I getting better I think. I just hate getting embarrassed. I'll try to improve myself, though. Hearing it from a stranger makes me feel like i really do have a problem. Thanks.
Also, question: is a year and a half too long for having a crush?
>>16988524
yes
she has a man, and appears to be happy with her situation
>>16989010
Theoretically a crush lasts for about 4 months, if the feelings last longer you're in love.
>>16989062
I'm scared. What if I really do love him?
>>16989170
Scared? What are you,a teenager? If you love him that's one more reason why you should just confess your feelings for him! And you shouldn't be thinking "I want to be with him!" you should confess for yourself, to ease your pain! If he accepts you'll be together, and if he refuses you'll finally get it of your chest! It's a win-win situation!
Yes, because my crush turned into one of those identifies-as-a-made-up-gender types, and I'm trying to convince her that she's wrong by ignoring her until she stops.
>>16988542
Senpai. I feel you. It's for the best anyway.
She was one of the most popular girls in my school and the wildest. I didn't have the confidence or energy to take on all the challenges it would have brought. I didn't even have a good grip on reality back then.
>>16989062
>Theoretically
Wat?
>>16989220
Take the advice.
>>16989250
>Usually
Use that instead, means the same thing and comes across better. Theoretically doesn't fit quite as well.
>>16988524
Pretty much every crush since I was a teenager.
I learned how things are back then. I'm a creep, just how it is.
Anything other than that is false hope that'll hurt everyone. It'd hurt me for obvious reasons, it'd hurt any girl I like because it'd make me dumb enough to try and then they'll be creeped out and it'd hurt anyone witnessing it due to cringe factor.
I figure the best way to avoid letting them know that I like them to to outright avoid them.
Kinda hurts though, because sometimes they're friendly and I'm probably making them think I hate them when I don't.
But it's the only guarantee that they wouldn't figure it out.
>>16989234
Which reminds me: how do I convince her that she's a girl, not some bullshit 'third gender'?
Because i tried getting close to her but felt like she wasnt that interested, so i decided to ignore her until the crushing goes away and we can be just friends.
>>16988524
>Have you ever ignored a person you had crush on?
All the time
>Why?
Because ill sperg out and treat them weirdly.
>>16988622
is the boyfriend the kid's father? if he's not don't avoid her, try your luck anon.
Yes, because she is a co-worker. Also because she is extremely attractive and I can't imagine she would say yes if I made a move. No bother trying, really.
Yeah.
I think she's attracted to me, but she just wants yet another male friend and doesn't seem interested in banging me.
I want to keep my distance.
Yes, I've done this before, a couple of months ago. I had a thread on here about it if anyone remembers, but my friend wanted to date this girl in his class and, one thing led to another, and we both fell hard for each other.
She completed me; she wasnt drop-dead gorgeous, but she was perfect in my eyes, and we connected both in humor and emotion, I would trade everything I own to spend an hour with her, just talking.
I didn't want my friend to be hurt, so we agreed not to act on our feelings for each other for his sake. We disconnected over weeks, with him eventually giving up on her and moving on. I never moved on though, I still think of her and miss her company from time to time.
As a kid, I always wanted the power to travel back in time with all my memories and knowledge so I can change decisions that I regretted, usually recent mistakes so I didn't have to live a long time in the past. With her though, I would happily redo terrible months of my life just so I could say screw it and be with her. My friend was a selfish prick and cost me my first true love, and I resent him every day.
I hope anyone who reads this doesn't make the same mistake I did and choose your love, because I wish I didn't. I miss you Caitlyn.
>>16990098
You should probably give yourself more credit anon. You really don't know unless you try.
>>16988524
Yes,
>she has bf
>few drinks and we had sex in our first meeting
>No more drinks but she ask for meeting again, a lot of times sincerely.
>I begun to feel a strange shit for this whore.
>Never ask for her feelings, i think she only wants to be my friend.
>Ran away.
TL;DR : Be a pussy and fall in love with a bitch.
>>16988524
Yes, girls love that. They don't want the guy that gives them all the attention in the world.
>>16990289
Problem is she gives me mixed messages. She'll go out of her way to talk to me, smile when I walk by her, but I also don't want to confuse friendliness with attraction. I'm waiting for a definite sign, otherwise I won't go for it.
>>16988980
the only reason you should feel humiliated is for thinking you'd have any kind of good hook up experience with some millennial prick
do yourself a favor and try to get to know older guys, guys (and girls) in their 20's right now are mostly garbage. they feed on a glut of internet pornography, train their brains to get instant attraction and satisfaction, and then stuff themselves full of internet revenge/woe is me stories so they think they're perfectly justified in acting like complete assholes.
and don't let anyone just stick your dick in them, even if it would make you feel like the most validated girl in the world and would calm your insecurities until the end of time. these fucking pigs need to LEARN what sex is about. at its most trivial it's a bonding activity meant to forge a stronger companionship.
>>16990787
>girl with dicks
too early but you get my point
Yes because I have a boyfriend and I might cheat on him if I get close to my crush.
Because there's something about her that repels me on a pathological level, as dumb as that sounds.
>prolly the pink hair
>>16990787
Wow. I think you nailed it.
>>16988524
Not only I ignore people that I have a crush on, but I also ignore people who I know have a crush on me. Actually in my mind I start to just thinking is it worth it or not, but I never come to any conclusion so I just keep living as a loner.
Yeah, the first time I did, he was with group of people I didn't really know and I quickly acknowledged him and went to take my seat and he went out of his way to talk to me, but I felt a bit shy I think. Even socially awkward. One of the group was his ex, so I didn't feel that comfortable with it, I think I was about to or had just recently broken up with my boyfriend who I didn't get along with at all and was probably all over the place. After that, he backed off and ignored me a bit so I started doing the same, it's ridiculous. A couple of big fights later, we sort of made up in the street after he didn't talk to me on social media, then I went on my way. Last time I saw him in the street with a different group of others that I did know and his ex too a few years later, I walked past them quickly as if I didn't see them and later ran home in floods of tears. We've been acknowledging each other every time ever since though. The whole situation is stupid, but essentially comes down to having these feelings for him. He led me on in the past, saying he loved me and such, and I really I hoped we would have a relationship eventually, although I didn't say any of this
>>16990787
>balding old fart tries to give himself a chance
Kek, go to sleep grandpa.
>qt in my class
>she always sits by me in class
>scared to ask her out at first
>finally say fuck it Im gonna ask her out
>shes doesnt show up to class for a couple weeks
>finally shows up
>talking to another guy in class
>sits by him this time instead of me
Make your move before its too late
>>16991443
For the record, the sex I've had with "old men" has been 1000 times better than the sex I've had with 20-somethings.
Yeah, she recently got rejected by some guy who I can’t really compete with so I doubt she’ll be interested in me.
There’s also the fact I probably won’t see her again soon and she lives miles away so I’ve convinced myself to leave it.
>>16988820
Was in actually the same situation as you this time last week man, Suckered it up took her to a bar talked and drunk all night. Went back to mine drank some more and finally hooked up. Advice, just go for it man its better going for it and being rejected, then not knowing at all. The barrier is all mental
because she's my ex kek
>>16990805
hahaha whore :)
yeah, right now
I found out he was using me for sex and emotional comfort/validation when him and his on-again-off-again girlfriend weren't together
>>16989010
I'm 28, single, never had a gf or date. I had a crush on one girl for about 8 years (we were teens) I never told her. Had a crush on a couple of other girls later. Never told them.
Fear of rejection is too strong.
i do sometimes when i feel nervous, but i have anxiety which makes me ignore everyone i know at some point in time.
i tend to ignore people that have a crush on me if i don't have a crush on them first, don't know why i do that though. it always makes me feel really bad but i can't help it
Love triangle. She knew when I crushed on her and knew I was too scared to say it and didn't bring it up. I cut my feelings and crush on another girl. Find out previous girl had a crush on me back and I picked the wrong girl by relying on a stupid quote.
Tl;dr I picked a crush (local) over someone who was in love with me and I still kinda liked (distance)
Yep. I was in love with this one girl and we hung out nonstop in the year after High School. I was too beta to actually tell her I loved her at the time, but I was convinced it was her fault at the time. Eventually she got a bf but insisted on hanging out with me all the time. By this time she started to develop a superiority complex because of her college program and started being condescending to me. This was the final straw and I cut her off finally. But for the next two years I was constantly depressed, because I realized that she could've been mine back then. A year ago I met her for the first time since then at a party and we caught up, and I finally got over it.
Yeah, I'm trying to ignore him right now because I'm too embarrassed with people in general so it's worse with him. I doubt he would be interested in me anyway. Even if it were the case, I can't date him because of my family, who would most likely hate him for not fitting their criteria, and I still live with my parents.
>>16990785
Dude. Chicks don't go out of their way to smile or be around someone they don't like. Trust me. What kind of sign do u think u will get? Think about how you feel scared or not good enough. Realize every single other person feels the same way.
>>16992311
I think his problem is that he doesn't know if she likes him as a friend or if she's attracted to him.
Yeah. Because I'm not sure whether I can even make a move anymore. Word got out that her parents almost disowned her for having feelings for me. She's Cuban and her parents will not allow her to date anyone outside of their race. It's not like I can change their minds. And secretly dating would only cause more problems. I'm thinking about maybe just backing out and moving on, which kills me because honestly, she's great and a 10/10 in my eyes.
>>16992311
Wrong. I smile and talk to people I actively hate, just so I can get the upper hand. If they think I like them it's easier to use them before shoving them out of my life. Men love girls who treat them like shit.
she's 6 years older, working on her PHD and gets flown to conferences to talk about art
I'm a second year undergrad and I'll I do is skateboard and bum around
>>16992442
*all
>>16990805
This makes me sad. Shouldn't you go pursue the crush if you're so prone to cheat?
>>16988524
yeah i do it all the time, most of the girls that i have a crush on are so amazing it's just ridiculous, they're way out of my league so i force myself to ignore them or move on.
>>16988524
Yes, because he has a gf ;_;
>>16991443
This
>>16991443
>BTFO of 20 something year old kids
>get called grandpa
is that that best you got? i could be in a nursing home and i'd still please a woman better than you ever will.
enjoy crying to your guildmates in wow about your fuckbuddy has feelings for you but you can't be assed to put any effort into getting to know the human being behind the fleshlight
cunt.
>>16992990
they don't put effort into anything
why do you think so many of them have moms that do the whining for them?
they can't even put up a real argument, they just spit out a meme and call it a day
absolutely lazy, trashy, gross losers
>>16993005
Aha!
Mine was the original post about the fuckboy that kicked me out his door.
I was also the one that said sex with people over 35 has been infinitely better.
The sex wasn't what caused my crush, in the end. It was the feel of him and this weird crackle of energy coming from him that would burst out at odd times before he could supress it. It was the look in his eyes when he first talked to me. He was like a peeled egg. And beautiful. He felt so soft. Christ, I didn't even sleep with people that young when I WAS that young.
>farm girl in my college
>fully adhd
>incredibly sweet, thoughtful, and honest
>used to stare at me in class
>finds ways t talk to me
>whenever I see her she says things and then immediately gets flustered
>class finished 2 weeks ago
>saw her once since then and I freaked out and didn't say much
I didn't really ignore her but I pretty much did it mostly boiled down to "Hi anon" and me getting extremely nervous and croaking out a "hey" before I walk away from embarrassment.
Saw her walking with her friend last week as I was coming into school she ditched her friend at the elevator and tried to walk with me. Another friend (she's really popular) sees her on the stairs and starts talking to her I just kept on walking. I just fucks me up that an attractive girl likes me. It's just easier to live in a mode of friendly greetings and then act like she doesn't exist, then ask her out and show a girl my embarrassing boring life.
>>16991381
Are you me?
>>16988980
gets treated like a shit stain and still has a crush on this guy.
stupid women
>>16993126
Anon go ahead you're doing right. But you need make a move soon,don't waste your lucky girls got boring really fast.
Plant your seed anon!
>>16990805
how long have you been with your boyfriend?
Because he was a boy and so am I
Yes, because when I asked her out she rejected me. She has spent most of the year stalking and spying me now. She has to earn me back
Way too young.
because we are kinda best friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship or ruin or group of friends
It's strange you think this is even happening or going to happen.
>>16993443
Lawlz
Yes, because she was a borderline personality, and they are evil, horrible unfeeling assholes.
If I could genocide borderlines, I would, in a heartbeat.
i did and still am. I tend to fancy anyone who i can see has a crush on me. Its like my subconscious just cant choose. I rejected and ignore because i want to meet someone special to me and the people i have crushes on arent tht
>>16988524
She bitched about everything and was obsessed with her ex to the point she may stalk him. Kinda creepy
>>16993126
FUCKING GO FOR IT ANON
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU A LIBERAL?
GO FOR IT
>>16993782
GF fail
I did. It waa my highschool crush three years ago, lasted 4 years. We both liked each other but no one really made a move. It was constantly flirting.
Until one day I heard her friends talking about me and how they thought that she could do better than me. I blew it off at that point until I heard my crush physically say she wasn't interested in me. It hurt and made me feel not good enough.
I then thought fuck it and proceeded to ignore her. I used to leave class quickly while avoiding the usual eye contact we would have when leaving the class. I would then hear her talking about how she thought I already had a girlfriend. She then asked me if I did and I said no.
After I done this she was trying to grab my attention for ages but would then play games and deny that she liked me to her friends.
It came to prom and she smiled and approached me, which could have changed my life forever. But instead, being the cunt I was, couldn't swalow my pride and walked away sobbing. I still remember the look on her face. I was such a cunt.
She got into a relationship on september 11, last year. Right before she changed her relationship status on facebook, for some reason something made me open her chatbox and I looked at past messages. (This was a year after no contact) Then I noticed she started typing and whatever she typed she paused and didn't send. Then boom, she was in a relationship. I will never know what she was going to send me in that message.
Story of my life and biggest regret.
>>16993794
feels bro
not always, but usually when I've been rejected or come to the realization that the feelings aren't mutual, then I will go out of my way to minimize contact
>>16993807
Moral of the story for anyone who has not ignored their crush yet or are thinking of doing it. Don't.
>>16993830
something strange happened to me, my crush flirted with me alot but i was hy and stupid because she was eccentric and popular. coming to the end of the year she went with another guy before deleting all her social media account and ditching school
>>16993848
She probably thought you weren't into her or a relationship would be a result.
Has she got her social media back? Perhaps she removed her social media because she still has feelings for you?
her fb and twitter and Instagram are still missing, at first i thought she had blocked me but she must have blocked all her friends as well cause they were tweeting about it.
>>16993888
Perhaps shes just deactivated them. It's strange, but not impossible.
There was a girl in my class who was a friend of my crush who used to like me who also did the same. Never showed up to prom, deleted all social media including facebook, twitter etc and no one has seen her for the last three years since highschool.
its a weird situation but thanks for the guidance
>>16993903
Try getting her number
Yes, he was self absorbed and I moved on because I knew he would never love me more than he loved wallowing in his own misery.
>>16993909
Initials?
C.F
>>16993906
how?
>>16993794
But I mean she said she was not interested..........
>>16988524
most of the crushes i've had were just guys who were way too good for me and never had a chance with. I did get to be friends with one of my crushes eventually, but he turned out to be an asshole who was just playing with me.
nowdays it's just me admiring some qt in one of my classes from afar, who i have no intention to talk to because i know it's not gonna work out or he'll think im weird and ugly. plus the semester's almost over so what's the point.
>>16989285
Mate i do the same and is actually horrible but i cant stop it.
A girl had a “crush” on me and i, with my fear of reaction told her to fuck off and forget it, she was nice and i really miss her
>>16994493
*rejection
>>16988524
Yeah. There was this one specific time in high school I accidentally ignored/put off someone I had a crush on. I'd seen him around school (had a class together, saw him in the hall, etc.) since I was a freshman and he was a grade above me, I'd also seen him out around town occasionally too (which was surprising since I live in a relatively large town, two high schools and such). I always noticed him/thought he was cute/had a crush on him, and it seemed like he noticed me, but I never tried talking to him or anything. I always ignored him when I saw him glance at me or make eye contact and stuff. Junior year we had a history class together, and he tried making a joke with me once, I got really nervous and ended up making a disgusted face at him (I totally sperged out and didn't know what to do). Needless to say he never tried speaking to me again, and I never saw him glance at me or anything after that. Freshman in college now and I still regret my actions. Probably wouldn't have lasted anyway, but he was a qt and I wish I wasn't such a socially awkward spaz, desu.
I had to ignore my crush to save my sanity
>2010
>be 17 yo grill
>meet boy on 4chin
>never got boy attention before
>he talks to me every day & wants to meet a lot even though we're long distance
>eventually lose virginity to him after 7 months
>1 week later he's dodging me, I later find out years later that he's just got another gf
>think I did something wrong and blame myself for him not wanting to meet with me
>6 months pass of purgatory and no straight answer to "are you my bf?" >He just plays around with my feelings, one day telling me he loves me and then ignoring me for weeks
>2013-2015
>flunk out of school
>desperate messaging every 6 months in the hope he might have left the girl he cheated on me with
>a mutual friend tells me he went to Asia to marry her
>I broke down and started harming myself with over exersizing and starving
>2016
>finally meet another man I want to be with
>I feel like relationships don't have to be hot/cold to be satisfying
>life doesn't have to be dramatic to be satisfying
>cut crush out of life in January and haven't looked back
Ignoring people who don't requite our love is a common defence mechanism I'm sure. Unrequited love and loss are too painful to tackle logically more often than not.
>>16988542
yes. either because they had an abundance of attention from others already and I wanted to consciously differentiate myself...
or because I lacked the confidence to think anything could come of it, and I wanted to avoid the pain of rejection.
>>16994493
>>16989285
bros. the fact that you've hit rock bottom is both your armor and your weapon..!
you lack confidence, but i bet you're deep and somewhat witty. you will surprise someone one day, if you find the courage to try.
Don't crush though -- if you decide to open up and be compassionate to someone you like romantically, dont let yourself get caught in the friend zone -- make your intentions known while being cool about it.
You will get rejected though, and it will suck. I can't change that part. I only know that its really, really sweet those few times out of a hundred it actually pays off.
>>16988524
plenty of times.
i'm a somewhat loveless long term relationship thats' working quite well for me. my girlfriend takes care of the house and cooks and such. and i really don't want to have to train another one.
i used to find myself getting wildly attracted to other girls and having to just deal with it.
but then it stopped about a year ago. and now i force myself to occasionally develop little 'crushes' on people i see routinely, because i like the way it makes me a bit nervous. it helps me stay focused. i treat it kind of like a vitamin.
>>16988524
I am ignoring one of my best friends/biggest crushes right now. Please help me.
It's... probably not fit for this thread given that I've admitted my feelings to my crush. Here's the thing, though -- my crush lives about a 5 hour drive from where I live. We've flirted online and talked and played video games a lot and she says that she wishes she could just tell me she's not interested or doesn't feel the same way... but that would be a lie. It would be easier for her, but it would be a lie. She claims she's not in the right place for a relationship (which usually sounds like bs, sure) and doesn't want to try anything long-distance. I of course tried to work around this, going so far as to say I'd be in the area in about a month for something unrelated but asking if I could see her then. She said 'yes' until I clarified by asking 'like a date'?
Im pretty distraught by this point and avoid her, eventually confessing I can't merely be friends with her right now because its too painful. She understands and is giving me space. It kills me but I just love hanging out with her and we've both been super lonely as a result.
Something doesn't add up here, though. We agreed to hang out online to sort of, idk, try things out one night, to see if she could see me that way. A lame ass virtual date if you could call it that in which we did what we usually do (i.e. watch funny things and play video games) for roughly 30 minutes or so.
She texts me later saying 'yeah, i'm not feeling what you want me to feel'
I am inconsolable confused and outraged but i play it cool and say 'ok i need time in that case'... and we've gone back to basically avoiding each other. And it sucks a lot.
Around the peak of my indulgent, friend zone times we would text each other throughout the day and hang out online at night. I'm still doing my best to ignore her though, because hanging out with her now, knowing nothing could come of this thing we have, is killing me.
>>16994774
compiling the shittiness of this situation is the fact that she claims she feels like a dick but wont explicitly express why... got me wondering if there's someone else she's interested in and is better-dealing me -- holding off until she knows something else wont work out
also... i feel like shit because i feel like ive alienated her and taken a friend out of her life -- she doesn't come on the voice chat server we use with our other online frineds if i'm around for fear of me leaving suddenly (which i have and do) and she's seen that when she's online with our other friends, I specifically don't come on.
At any point I could've made the conscious decision to go back to being just friends, or seeing what happens, and just dealing with it. I don't want to do that this time, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I do feel like we have something... unique... and that she'd make me happy. And that I'd make her happy. But if ignoring her prevents us from being -just- friends, I will do it
>>16989312
If you want to change the person you "like" you don't really like them.
>>16993035
How old was he? Maybe he was embarrassed to be sleeping with an older woman/it was a bet made with his friends.
I don't mean to be rude, but I'm curious.
>>16988820
you -know- she likes you?
does this not make your heart fly??
Channel that, bruv, do something really sweet for her or give her something to soften her up (and to embolden yourself, if that helps you) -- it'll hint at how you feel, and heck, maybe if she reacts well you can find the courage to ask her on a date then
Only if the reason I had to no be with them outweighed my desire to be with them.
Examples:
> there aren't single
> I'm not single
> one of us is moving away soon
>>16990098
>had a similar situation at work
>girl way out of my league
>played it super cool, ignored her generally and acted snarky
>grown up equivalent of pulling a girl you like's hair on schoolyard
>one day she grumbled about being single
>asked her if she thought i was attractive
>she sheepishly says yeah
>i say so lets have drinks later
>she laughs in disbelief but says we'll see
>week later we make out after a night of drinking
>>16990288
i uh... guess a bunch of people already asked if there was a chance for you to reconnect with her, then?
>>16988524
Because common friends did know I liked her and talked bad about my present for her birthday (aka I will gift her a invite to a restaurant for me and her for example). It respect and regard her for this very much, but when I asked her what she thought about those friends and how they talked about me behind my back her only sentence was, *it's unimportant what those others say, it's only important what my present for her is*. She distracted my question, didn't considered my thoughts and feelings and only mentioned the present.
And after I told her, that I will not be able to see her, if I did not meet the common circle of friends, there was no response. I mean, what could I do, how could I react to that, what could I say? She knew I liked her and she showed me she liked me as friend (saying that she wants me around activities with friends, asking why I'm not at a activity with friends, ...) but at the same time it felt like she doesn't matter about me and cool/inactive about me.
>>16992033
You have to ask yourself, what did this behavior gave you? Did it improve your life or did you liked it?
Even more: You feared something which was only theoretically there and you never faced it.
Why are you not asking yourself, what could happen, if she will take your opportunity? Why are you not thinking about that, but about negative thoughts?
>>16994882
Fuck it. I've since moved to a different country. I now prefer the freedom being single gives me. Sure I'd like to get married, but only under the right circumstances. For one I'd need to improve myself.
>>16988524
Yes, he was the most popular guy among girl and boys equally. He was blond hair blue eyes. And I was an ugly outcast immigrant kid. He was way out of my league. At some point he asked me out, I couldn't believe he was serious. I thought he had some lost bet going on or so.
I rejected him.
From then everything started going downhill.....
>>16988524
Because I'm scared of intimacy.
>>16995253
honestly: idiot.
Why did you this? Was is fear?
>>16995259
Ofc it was fear. It was a common joke to ask someone if they'd like to go out with them. When the answer was yes, they'd laugh out loud and respond "but I wouldn't want to go out with YOU"
>>16995324
oh okay, that's a shitty situation, thought you and those boys were older and it was more of a serious situation/question.
So it was a honest question? Do you still see him or have contact to him? I mean, you can talk to him and explain your situation. Who knows what could happen then.
>>16995329
In retrospect I think it was a serious question. We didn't have contact anymore after I changed schools three grades later.
Like I said everything went downhill from that moment.. I can't help but wonder if only I had said yes would my life had been completely different?
>>16995340
Do you have Facebook? Maybe try to search for him and try to get a closure.
I don't think it's good to think about what could have happen if you would have said yes or that your life would have been totally different. If you believe in this, then it could also be possible that you needed to go this way, so you have to be there where you're currently are and to meet a person (or whatever you think you *lost") in your future.
I don't think so. I think you were young and he too and you both made some stupid decision. He should have made his words sounds stronger, you should ask better and maybe 1000 other things which could have been made.
But you (both) needed this to be able to not make this again and to be able to form your character and mind as to the person who you currently are. :)
>boy i went to high school with
>has girlfriend
>avoid talking to him because it hurts knowing we get on so well but i'll never get to be with him
>coworker
>has girlfriend
>can't talk to socialize with him because it hurts too much
>ex-boyfriend
>has new girlfriend
>always tries to catch up when he sees me
>always cut conversations short because if we talk too long i can picture him fucking her
Crushes are the worst. The worst.
Yes. Because I knew we were too different to make it work.
>>16995351
Such kind words, you made my heart warm :) thanks anon.
As for talking to him again, explaining.. isn't possible. Ms story is fucked up, and the pieces came together only after about 10 years.
Here's what I guess happened. I think I kinda hurt his ego. It was definitely the first time he got rejected. Maybe he just resented me, maybe he obsessed over me, maybe he really kinda liked me that I'll never know.
But after that incident he flirted with other girls. I thought things were over until we "coincidentally" met at the hallway and were all alone (class was going and I was back from my way the restroom). He stopped there and stared at me. When I tried passing by he blocked my way. It was creepy I got scared and dashed panicy away and he grabbed after me but I yanked away and ran.
Back to class and back to life he acted as if nothing happened, I got creeped out and was very wary. Over the course of three years, even though I tried to be careful, a few times he found ways to be alone with me again. He did sexual stuff to me but nothing too bad and most of times I could get away. Still that fucked up my mind big time.
Can't help but wonder, if I said yes would we have been a loving couple? Worst case scenario would have been him losing interest in me and dumping me. Everything would have been better than what actually happened.
I heard that after I left that school he got drug addicted and didn't manage graduating. But then again his dad passed away soon after he asked me out too. He was such a cheerful cute guy with the sweetest smile.
I'm sorry for him. And for me. If I knew how things would go I would have answered differently.
My crush began to ignore me for no apparent reason 2 months ago. She acted passive-aggressively at first, then we just cut off contact, except when she occasionally said hi, and only when our eyes met.
Recently I decided to text her once to see how she was doing and she responded. Now the other day I saw her in person and she seemed happy to see me. We talked a bit, in the same way we used to. Things might return to normal soon.
I have trouble figuring out if she started ignoring me because she liked me and lost interest or if she was never interested in me to begin with. I think she plays hard to get way too hard. In any case, shouls I start making myself less available to her? Like, ignore her, but not the way she did with me.
>>16988524
Yeah, and I regretted it. I really don't know how to make a move
>>16988524
Girl in my English lit class. Noticed she was staring at me when I wasn't looking and eventually went to lunch with her after class one day. I could tell she was disappointed when I said I wasn't in a fraternity but other than that went well. She texted me later that night saying she had a good time and wanted to do it again. I respond "yea for sure." And now she doesn't look at me in class any more and has excuses when I ask her out. Oh well, not sure whether it was the lack of fraternity or decent text bants but I'm ignoring her and over it pretty easy.
>>16994825
I think either is possible. He came after me so hard it had to be a joke. I'm 45. I'm alright but I'm sure it was a bet and he was embarrassed to be seen with me. I have lots of young men hit on me. What is up with millennial's betting on hurting someone? It's cruel and sadistic.
>>16993767
Come and get me, just make it fast.
Does this make me a nigga now?
>>16993179
It's okay because I like the abuse.
Current crush is much more accomplished and older than me
feels bad man
Haven't caught feelings this hard in a while
>>16995418
Hmm, I wish I could let you meet him. You should say him all things you wrote down here (>>16995418), because you sound like you really don't wanted to happen all these things. If he is mature enough or is trying to understand you and is honest about his decision, I think a honest talk between you both would help at least you.
But again: Young person do dump things. Maybe he regret what he has done as much as you and maybe his (family-)conditions were not helpful too (gosh I'm 28 and I don't know how to act if my father would die or how to handle this kind of situations).
But you can't decide your life because that interaction between you and him. You owe it at least to yourself. And you're not responsible for what happened, you didn't knew back then how to handle him (I guess you're better and more cautious about this). Again you both were young and maybe he had a huge crush on you. I did stupid things too to/with my first crush.
Get over it, get better, improve and use what you have learned for your and others future. I wish you luck! :)
>>16996039
I'd never expected someone to care that much for my first crush story. Thank you anon.
With time I got over my past to the point where I didn't hold any more grudges. That part of my life only became a faded memory.
But yes anon, we've been kids and who knows what he's been going through. Reading your messages made me even feel kind of empathy for him. I truly think you've helped me to become a better person.
But meeting him and talking about it would be way too awkward, even if you're right about how it probably would help both of us.
Too much time flew by, this took place 16 years ago. I don't know how he's doing in life or whether he even lives anymore (drug addiction?). And I'm an adult now, I have a family, a husband, kids and responsibilities...
>>16988524
girl I liked had huge insecurities.
>>16996039
>I did stupid things too to/with my first crush.
What kind of things? Care to tell?
>>16988524
No self esteem when I was obese.
Girl was already in a relationship when I was fit.
There is no winning move.
>>16994855
I don't know, she slowly cut me out of her life a couple of months ago and I hadn't heard from her or seen her until recently, when we bumped into each other between classes.
She seemed like she wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't think of anything casual to talk about; I wanted to ask her why she cut me out, what happened, etc., but that would be both unexpected and inappropriate in that situation. So I brushed her off and said we should talk sometime, and we parted ways.
I don't know if I should try to see her again, because I think she just would want to be friends when I would want to be back to where we were, I could only hope that isn't that case
every girl I had a crush on for the past 3 years has had a boyfriend
so yea, avoiding them is part of having honor
feels sorta bad
I did it to this girl I met last year. Walked right past her and never even looked at her. I think I did it partly cause of nerves, slight autism, or because I crushed on her so badly that I just wanted to forget her.
Funny thing is I met her again a few months later and got her number back (after deleting it to phase her out). Not sure if I can make a move again, but if I do I'm not letting my fears hold me back
>>16994855
Who are you? That's a weird statement
Yes, I've done this before, a couple of months ago. I had a thread on here about it if anyone remembers, but my friend wanted to date this girl in his class and, one thing led to another, and we both fell hard for each other.
She completed me; she wasnt drop-dead gorgeous, but she was perfect in my eyes, and we connected both in humor and emotion, I would trade everything I own to spend an hour with her, just talking.
I didn't want my friend to be hurt, so we agreed not to act on our feelings for each other for his sake. We disconnected over weeks, with him eventually giving up on her and moving on. I never moved on though, I still think of her and miss her company from time to time.
As a kid, I always wanted the power to travel back in time with all my memories and knowledge so I can change decisions that I regretted, usually recent mistakes so I didn't have to live a long time in the past. With her though, I would happily redo terrible months of my life just so I could say screw it and be with her. My friend was a selfish prick and cost me my first true love, and I resent him every day.
I hope anyone who reads this doesn't make the same mistake I did and choose your love, because I wish I didn't. I miss you Debbie.
I need to. My crush is too good for me and I'm sure he'd be disappointed once he got to know me better. He believes I can be more than I am and that's too much pressure. He doesn't understand how badly my depression affects me.
I met someone who likes me the way I am (lame to say, I know, but it seems to be true). So I need to try a relationship with someone who isn't shitty for me.
>>16996494
You're wrong that move exists. Go for her anon just only be smart.
>>16988524
Power trip.
Bit i asked her out and gave her a good time and it's been ~8years. Now we chill at home while I lose at hearthstone and she derps on Splatoon.
>>16997711
>My friend was a selfish prick and cost me my first true love, and I resent him every day.
It was your fault though that you never got together with that girl, not your friends. It was you who chose friendship over love. Stand proud to your decission and deal with it. Or regret it, although that never helped. Don't cry about your past. If you really love that girl, meet her up again and try your best. Else stfu. I hate people complaining and blaming others for their misery. You made your choices.
>>16990288
>>16997711
Oh... It's a meme?
>>16998430
This
>>16996414
>I'd never expected someone to care that much for my first crush story.
Well, actually I was interested in you. A story is a story and I can do nothing about what happened in the past. Reading your story and talking a bit about it, seemed more helpful and interesting.
>Thank you anon.
Sweet of you :)
>about it would be way too awkward
Was it awkward with me? I mean theoretically, a few simple words (maybe even a 'sorry' from him) could break the ice and change a lot of things, don't you think so? I don't want to force you to think or do what a stranger tells you, but you just don't know how things could end. I think if two people are honest and try to understand the other person, a conversation doesn't have to be 'nice', 'happy' or 'beautiful' but it can be improve or better the situation.
If it's 16 years ago then I think it's not worth to find him. Like you said, you don't know anything, it would need a lot work and you have other responsibilities.
>>16996434
>What kind of things? Care to tell?
Well, I feel a bit embarrassed/awkward about them and it's a lame/childish story.
I liked her and way too much in a retroactive view, I wanted to spend time with her. I don't know if she just wasn't interested in me or if it was shyness or maybe she couldn't find the right words, but the way she talked and looked (and other things) to me was different and I took it as a sign/hint. Maybe I saw more than there actually was.
We both liked horror movies, if they were just good movies, or if they were funny or if used (not too much) brutality in a good portion. We talked about those movies and I let her know, I was open to watch those with her alone and I think I also offered her it too. Our circle of friends didn't shared the same amount of euphoria for this category of movies, so I didn't invite other friends or talked with others about watching a horror movie together. And I never pushed her and never asked for the 'current status' about a meet up to watch movies.
Weeks went by and one day she mentioned about a horror movie she watched recently. I asked a few various question and learned, she watched it alone.
I asked myself why she didn't thought about me, ask me or invite me. Did she forgot I liked those movies too and I would want to watch those with her? Does she just not care or just forgot to think what it might let me feel? I was frustrated and thought, I had to do something else instead of talking. So I hit the table with my fist and asked hey way to directly and without mentioning my thoughts/feelings why she did this. She was shocked and we didn't shared word directly after that.
>>16998809
cont.:
Gosh, I wish I could get a DeLorean and go back to this time, kick my ass and tell myself, that if I'm agitated/troubled then I should talk to her directly and honest and avoid a aggressive way. But I was confused, liked her too much, asked myself what I did wrong and was too shy. We didn't talked about it and acted like it never happened. I don't know if she forgave me or why she still was nice to me but now it's already a few years in the past and I feel also awkward to mention this thing or if it's even a good idea to mention this old topic.
bump-idy bump
Yeah, because it's easier to get over it if you don't talk to each other.
Currently I'm in trouble because I'm crushing on a grill from the same group of friends. We often hang out in 3-4. So it's hard to avoid her. Also I made her feel like she can ask me for help so sometimes she asks me and I'm bad at saying "no", but guess I'll need to man up.
Today a friend said that my crush will come to her place to hang out tomorrow, so I said I'll come today instead, and leave around 22 so the crush can't join us because she finishes work at 22. I can do it if I try.
>>16998764
>Was it awkward with me?
No it was nice and relieving :)
>>16998812
Well then why not following your own advice?
Do it before it's too late. Look at me, if you don't, there will be times you'll wonder about what ifs. Even 16 years, a marriage and three kids later.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I wanted to change my life now. I am the happiest wife and mother on earth. It's just that I think that all the sorrow in that period of my (and maybe his?) life could have probably been prevented.
>>16999722
I don't really know. I don't see her on a regularly basis and I don't even know if she remember this event or if it's as important for her as for me.
I don't know too, if it's generally important or just something I would like to change.
Maybe change over to skype (write a mail at idna8711[at]gmail.com] instead of 4chan to continue the topic? If not, I'm totally fine to finish this topic.
I'm really happy that I helped you a bit, even though I think you don't need help from a younger man, which doesn't have kids, that much life experience or is married. ;)
Yes, most of the time.
Why? Because I'm autistic and ignore virtually everyone.
>>16998437
No, it's real. If you're reading this Caitlyn, go be an asshole somewhere else.
>>16996527
I have to say, its bitter sweet.
>>16999722
Sorry can't do that /adv is just for me to kill some time. My baby takes very much time nursing and I can't do much but surf on my phone. Sleep is no more so I don't have time and energy left for my usual hobbies (I'm so starving for Hyrule warriors, pkmn and Zelda). As soon as they get older and easier to take care of usually I quit 4chan altogether (I visit very rarely maybe once every three months or so). Doing household chores, being/gaming with my husband and going to the playground or somewhere else with the kids takes up all my time.
Yeah, it happened like last november. I made a move, went too far, and handled everything poorly. I did it because I felt too awkward and I could tell that she was uncomfortable around me after the fact.
I'm being ignored by him right now. I fucked up and gave him shit even though he's going through stuff right now. I didn't mean to be needy, but he was ignoring me for days. We aren't even exclusively anything, but I really want us to be so bad. The difference in age and location is already too much for me to handle and I just wish he would message me. Fuck, I'm pathetic.
>>17000304
Yes it is Caitlyn, to be honest I didn't know you browsed 4chan
There was a girl from church. I usually try to avoid people and almost never speak to anyone but she always came to me to talk and say hello. I started avoiding her since I was worried she was only being nice to me out of pity or charity because I was clearly just a lonely autistic guy.
