situation:
>18
>never dated (besides taking a girl to a movie once, was beta and just took her home after and said bye. still wasn't really interested in dating in high school, focused on grades and other things)
>in college (this is last semester, so it all started in september / october
>extremely 10/10 qt i sorta knew before but didnt really talk to
>get number just for homework chat and stuff but end up talking really often
>by december we talk really often, snapchat etc
>after class ends (early december) it slowly dies off, stop talking as much
>mid january, i miss her so i start messaging again
>even stronger, talk every single day and have like a month long snap streak
>gain courage to ask out fucking finally
>we go to the beach, get coffee, watch the sunset on a blanket together, all is well
>don't make any moves because still trying to work past my beta and i didnt wanna seem creepy or too forward
>talk all the way home, she said she had a good time and that we should do this again soon
now here's where it gets bad.
>wait a day or two after the date, start texting again
>about 5 days later ask if she wants to go to a party my friends are throwing, she says she is tired
>a few days later ask if she wants to go to this cool place in a town nearby, she has to work
>more days later, ask if she simply wanted to get lunch, she is doing homework

cont.

Start small be OK with lunch work around hr schdual work with her line of comfortability and remain you op

things slowly started to ramp down here, about 2 weeks after the date. the snap streak died, we only text every few days, etc. at this point, she doesn't message me really at all anymore. i gave it a few days to see and i got nothing at all. i messaged her asking how she was and i got one reply saying she was "alright :/" i asked what was wrong and never got a reply.

the only things that seem like i still have a chance is that
1. she replies, instead of me getting ignored
2. she is nearly always one of the first 3 people to view my snapchat stories, so either she looks out for them or is seriously bored 24/7
3. why would she bother even going with me if she wasn't interested at all?
4. she was taking a dangerous drive in the rain at night once and i said "be safe, if you die i can't bug you on snapchat anymore :P" and she replied "you don't bug me :)"

still, i can't help but feel like if i message her daily now i'm just being annoying. I don't know what else to do at this point. all of my friends think we're talking and they always tell me to invite her with us, but i just think it'd be awkward now since we don't talk every day anymore.


i honestly just don't know how any of this works and if this is normal or if i fucked up somewhere and ruined it. I really like her. please help me /adv/

>>16980297
sorry i had a little more to add, does that change what you said?

Could be everything. Maybe she wasn't attracted to you and after the date she realized that she had to distance herself. Or maybe she likes you but since you didn't make a move she's acting sorta cross to see if it affects you. Who knows.

In my opinion, at this point you could try to be more straightforward: like ask her if everything is alright, since she's been distant after your date, but be prepared to accept what she may reply.

>>16980340
well i'm hoping it's not the first one, because we still talked for nearly 2 weeks after the date. She never seemed distant or anything until the last week. hell she even asked me to hang out in between classes a few days after, and was sending me selfies and stuff every day on snapchat.

>>16980291
Ok dude this is what you gotta do, wait a week. Try to not make contact with her but keep doing your snapchat stories and shit and show that your having a fun time in life. If she starts talking to you in the week talk back but don't sound so overly keen. After this week message her again to go do something. Go get dinner at a hell nice joint with all the fixens dress legit as fuck like you're gonna kiss this girl kinda make it obvious that you want it to be a date
"Wanna go get dinner sometime"
"sure"
"It's a date :)"
If she says she has work or something and she DOESN'T offer another time, then unfortunately she's not interested man. But I'm sure that's not gonna be the answer you got dis.

>>16980287
My guess - and this can only be a guess, since I have so little to work with - is that you've been what 4chan calls friendzoned - that is, that for whatever reason (and it could be no reason except absence of chemistry) she doesn't see you as lover material but would like to remain friendly.

Some guys can handle that - after all, having a friend-wh-is-a-girl can be a nice thing - but some have to break it off if they can't have romance.

I'd suggest that you back off just a little. Continue contact, but in a friendly and not desperate lover way. Continue to invite her to lunch or other things, but with the implied tone of two friends hanging out. It is quite possible that a little of that will relax her and develop into romance. And if not, you still have a friend.

>>16980364
thank you, this was actually kinda what i was attempting. I've been making sure to snapchat being out with friends mainly and keep a cool appearance. only problem is that I messaged her a few days ago when she said she was "alright". i'm terrified if i don't make a move she will just move on completely. if i'm able to get the chance for a second date i will definitely make it more important. I honestly wasn't expecting the first one, i dont think i was prepared mentally.

>>16980371
if we don't talk every day anymore, is it weird to invite her to lunch out of the blue though? i mean it's been nearly a month since we've seen each other in person.

>>16980364

Honestly the whole "treat em mean, keep em keen" pick up artist crap is getting pretty old. If you are terrified of ever talking about your emotions and just want to post on social media about all the girls you pull and then go and masturbate and cry while looking in the mirror wearing mascara, do this.

If you want to actually turn into an emotionally stable adult, be direct with her, but not forceful. Here is an example:

>Hey, just wanted to ask you something?
Yeah, what's up?
>Did it make things weird for you when we went on like a 'date'?
Ummm why?
>I have just kind of felt like you have been distant since then. We don't talk as much and you haven't seemed interested in hanging out.

She then tells you what is up honestly, because you converse with here like a human being, and you go from there. Just be prepared to accept whatever she tells you, and be sure of what you are willing to be to her. Are you cool with just being friends? Are you keen to smash? Whatever, just get your head straight.

Or just do all that other shit where you completely fabricate how you are actually feeling to trick her into feeling insecure, so she then comes running into your arms and sucks your dick for 3 whole days, and then you grow old together, but one day she says "what the fuck, wait a minute, you were super cool and cold as ice, but then when we started fucking you turned into a needy little bitch" and you will be like "yeah I know, I totally tricked you because of this amazing not at all immature and unoriginal advice I got on a respected website. That is how I became the new CEO of Microsoft and managed to give you multiple orgasms all these years."

Anyway good luck.

>>16980457
Last part made me chuckle, thank you

So maybe something like

"Hey, can I ask you something?
Did I do something wrong recently? We haven't talked much since we went out and I miss you. "
I'll be honest though, I'm terrified of getting rejected. This girl is nearly perfect in my eyes.

>>16980470
That is along the right track, but I would personally avoid approaching it like you are already admitting to being in the wrong. You should steer clear of "did I do anything wrong" and stuff like that. Your aim is to find out what is up, not 'what you did wrong'.

>>16980473
Good point.

I'll keep revising it but maybe something more like "did something happen after we went out last month? We haven't talked nearly as much since and I miss you"

>>16980473
I should also mention that being rejected is not the end of the world, and not even the last word when it comes to people. I got rejected twice by the last girl I dated before going on to be with her for about 2 and a half years. Turns out she was rejecting me because one of her friends liked me one time, and because she was simply seeing someone else the other. If I had just been more conversational about it, I would have known that.

So, sure I get it that being rejected is scary. It fucking sucks. But how you handle rejection can actually really help to define how you move on and how you appear. If she tells you "I just don't see you that way" and you say "oh. Well that's cool, I would still love to just hang. I miss how we used to just do fun stuff together and talk shit". Then you will come across as a well adjusted and mature person. If you tantrum or beg for her to love you then she will be like dayyyyum glad I dodged that bullet.

>>16980479
Totally reasonable thing to say to a friend or someone you are interested in, very honest without being dramatic or anything. (Just to clarify the last few answers are all from me. Just mentioning so you realise it is one person and not like 20 who all agree).

>>16980484
This is really great advice, thank you. We actually had talked about this weird guy who kept asking her out when we were on the date, she said he'd message her late at night begging to go out with her and we both laughed at it. Now I was almost feeling like that guy, but I think she'd definitely respect a more mature approach. Also the rejected part gives me hope.

>>16980490
Cool, I'll save this to my drafts and think of a good time to send it.