I think I'm fucked in the head.
I have my first long term gf at the age of 22, but that I love a lot, she tries really hard to make me happy by buying me shit and spending all her time and money on me.
I was abused as a kid a lot by my dad so I spent my teenage years doing progressively harder drugs and not getting laid because I had severe self esteem issues and felt sorry for myself I guess so nodding off on my friends couch was all I cared about.
I got around to asking her about her past, because I don't want to get into a relationship with a turboslut and she told me 7. Shes 20 so this made me feel like shit.
I never thought it would but I guess I didn't take into account that I've never felt as strongly about a girl as I have her.
She was kind of wild, has wild stories, and has fucked randoms in the heat of the moment. This has caused some pretty strong bouts of depression and realizations that I've wasted my youth because in the past couple years I've realized I'm actually attractive and intelligent with a lot of prospects and women come on to me a lot when I pay attention to it.
idk why this eats at me so furiously. I cant stand the fact that shes so experienced but I'm not. I feel like im being had.
Theres more I might go into if anyone cares to give input.
>>16960165
What number would have been acceptable?
Honestly unless you're hanging around church girls, 7 is a pretty average number for a 20year old.
>>16960165
OP
She can still count them on her fingers
If it's like 13+ by 20 she's used goods
Don't fuss over it
>>16960165
dont be so egoistic man.. if she's really that much into you and spending all her time and money on you, you should instead be grateful for having an awesome girlfriend who cares about you and your feelings.
On the other hand if you feel like you want to have more experiences before settling for a more serious relationship, i think breaking up sooner wont be so painful for both of you. but thats just me..
>>16960230
It's not even really her number. I guess if it was 20 at age 20, I probably wouldn't still be going out with her.
I just feel like I'm fucking up by tying myself down now and never getting to experience going out and fucking randoms out of pure lust.
I feel like I'm not on an equal level with her out of sheer inexperience and I randomly think about her with some random ass dude getting plowed and it sends me into a heated rage like I'm being cucked from the past or some shit.
On the other hand I know I'd regret losing her if I broke up with her to go make myself feel fulfilled, and I probably wouldn't be able to respect her if she took me back after I did some shit like that. So it's a lose/lose.
Do I need therapy?
>>16960301
If you can't move passed this, i would probably sa yeah, getting help might not be such a bad idea if you really care for this girl.
Just for what its worth...coming from someone thats played the field and also had a few long term partners (3 girlfriends that lasted over 2 years each), random sex isn't all its cracked up to be.
