Do i have big ego?
>it's easy for me to exclude people from my life when i thing they played me
>When somebody who i think is important to me excludes me from their life i feel ofended
When i try to look at it from a perspective it looks like it's ok when i kick people out, but i'm mad when people kick me out (happened about 2 times in my life, but still), which looks quite hypocritical. To give more contects whenever i kick somebody out i tend to explain my reasoning. I get triggered when i don't get the same when i'm excluded, when somebody gives me a reason i'm cool about it.
You sound like a normal human being, it's fairly normal to feel relief when you kick someone out of your life because you are wanting them out for a reason. On the other hand when someone kicks you out it can feel unfair because you aren't the one in control and may not have the full context on why they are doing it. I have felt the same way in both situations.
>>16957925
Okay, did you ever feel "how can he/she kick out me out of their life?!" kind of thing? Because that's how i felt when those 2 people did it (in the end i realised they both used me conciously). I even hold a grudge, don't want to have to do anything with both of them anymore tho. But for example, if there was a possibility for me to pay them back, i think i would take the shot.
>>16957945
Yeah of course. A couple months ago this happened to me and I was like "how could they do that? we were best friends, I didn't do anything wrong, blah blah blah" I think this just happens because you're so emotional and its hard to deal with a loss, even if it's simply a friendship ending.
As for the last part I think that's normal too...sometimes I feel that way because I valued the relationship so much that I would want to heal it if I could, though that feeling does make it difficult to let go.
>>16957960
Thank you very much. I've been going through some emotional ups and downs and was wondering if it was my ego that kept me feeling how i feel. Glad to know that there are people around who react the same way.
>>16957945
How did they use you? Like did they rip you off or something?
>>16957945
>in the end i realised they both used me conciously
Are you sure they used you? Are you sure they didn't stop hanging out with you because you had a big ego and were a chore to be with?
>>16957945
>be OP
>people stop talking to me
>it must be their fault, I am free of blame
Nice rationalization. The answer is yes, you have a big ego.
>>16957981
Fresh one: In this relationship i was a "rebound" who was supposed to be a backup plan. That person basically forced me to pour my feelings out and then changed her mind in one day, leaving me clueless. Then she tried to get me back in line with "could we leave it for now and maybe someday we will go back to it?", but i reacted hostile and decided myself that it's time to cut ties. Right now the "relationship" looks like this: i've made statement that i will bite back if she tries to pull anything (had to do that when i recieved threatening phonecalls).
Old one: My best friend threw me under the bus because of his new gf. We were working on something together, and instead of saying that he wants to focus on the relationship he kept playing both. Didn't work when i insisted, didn't work when i tried to talk it through. In the end the project failed, and what's worse he silently stopped even talking to me. I was mad, like really damn mad. He did man up tho and we let go of our differences, but i don't think of him as a best friend anymore and there's no way i would invite him to work on something with me anymore.
>>16957992
Explained this in >>16958027
And to add more context: i'm not a person who goes around bragging about how awesome i am, because i am not and i don't get along with people who like to have their asses licked.
>>16958016
Never said i was free of blame, nor people stop talking to me constantly. I could count alot of relationships where the person who decided to cut the ties told me what i did wrong (and yeah, i fucked up alot, i'm no saint), and i'm cool with it. Even if people start talking to me less and less it's okay, the point is that when somebody goes "i don't wanna hang out with you anymore" without giving me a reason. It tilts me, i can't get it over my head, i keep on banging myself with "what the hell did i do wrong?" which then turns into "i did this this and this for them and i don't even deserve as little respect as a proper and honest explanation?"
>>16958052
You actually aren't entitled to anything from anyone. If they don't want you around anymore, leave them alone. Explanation or not you shouldn't hang around people who don't want you around.
And yes you have an inflated ego. You see, the thing is, people can tell you to fuck off for absolutely no reason at all. You cannot do anything about it.
