Is it considered bizarre to put a friend in your will? How would you feel and what would you think if your friend told you they've left you half their assets and gave you a copy of the will to keep?
Bit of back story; my friend who I consider my best friend pulled me out of social reclusion and basically introduced me to what life really is, I'm still socially stunted but without him I would have probably killed myself awhile ago. This is the biggest thank you I could think of but now I feel weird about telling him and giving him a copy.
I wouldn't call this bizarre. It's just silly.
First off, wills get challenged all the time. If you die soon it'll be your parents contesting it. If this goes later into life, it could be your spouse. And would you really not end up amending it at that rate anyway? Don't you think that once you get on with life and put this episode behind you that you'll have a more tempered view of things?
It's also silly to give him a copy to keep. What kind of weird drama shit is this? Is it really so that someone you trust has it in the event of your death, or really because you think he'll read it and be touched by your feelings?
Look, do yourself a favor and put the pen down. I understand that you're grateful but you're being a bit impulsive in your expression of that gratitude. The biggest thanks you could give your friend is not this whole will business. It's just making the most of your life now that you plan on living it out. Time is how you thank him. Keep living, keep thriving, keep being a good friend to him. That's it.
Not at all, people often leave assets to their friends, our friendships help shape us in many different ways.
If a friend of mine all of a sudden gave me a copy of their will and I was on it my first thought would be that they're considering suicide. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he thinks too but from the sounds of it you aren't considering that, right?
Aside from that it's probably one of the nicest things you could do for someone, It shows them that they're one of the people you truly care for. Just he careful anon.
If it's a very good friend, nothing bizarre about that. Me and my best friend go way back, if I had anything one could inherit I'd be sure to include him in my will, too.
But it's really something that should be reserved for top-notch honourable friends you've known for a long time.
The first anon has a point on you being dramatic though.
>>16953326
In my country it is extremely hard to challenge a will, the only way you can do it is if you can prove you were financially dependant on me, or you were an ex spouse, which no one is. If I get a spouse I will have it rewritten. On top of this there are only 3 benefactors in my will and there are 4 additional pages attached to it which state my reasons for why I have chosen these people, I am 100% sure if I died tomorrow no one would be able to contest it, not even my parents.
I had a lawyer help me write it up, I did it two weeks ago so it's already done, I'm 23 and recently received a very large inheritance and I've watched it tear my family apart. Because of that I decided the smart thing to do would be to have my will written asap, I could be hit my a bus and killed tomorrow.
The reason I'm going to give him a copy is because my lawyer advised I give all benefactors a copy so that it is completely transparent and no one can come back later and say "I deserve more", which is happening right now with my family and it disgusts me.
>What kind of weird drama shit is this? Is it really so that someone you trust has it in the event of your death, or really because you think he'll read it and be touched by your feelings?
None of this, I'm doing it because my lawyer advised me to.
Your advice is not what I wanted and you've made many assumptions of me, I thank you for your time but next time maybe just answer the questions I've asked instead of assuming the worst of me.
>>16953343
>I was on it my first thought would be that they're considering suicide
This is why I'm worried, I don't want him to think this of me, no I'm not considering suicide, life is so good right now, the last thing I want to do is die but I know people die everyday so that's why I had it written.
>Aside from that it's probably one of the nicest things you could do for someone, It shows them that they're one of the people you truly care for.
This is what I was hoping for. 2000 words.
>>16953343
Continuing from; This is what I as hoping for, my worries include him suspecting I'm suicidal, him changing his behaviour around me and him realising he's my best and one of my only friends, I'm not used to having friends and I've never said to someone "you are my best friend" and this is pretty much a declaration of that which is very confronting for me.
What exactly do you mean by just be careful?
>>16953351
That's reassuring. What if one of your friends who you didn't consider was your best friend suddenly did this for you? What would you think about him then?
Get it notarized and leave it in a file in your room. "Important Forms" or "For Ned" or whatever so he'll find it when you get in that "accidental" vehicle collision next week. Don't tell him, you'll ruin the surprise.
>>16953318
It's a very nice thing to do. I always thought that true friends are at least as important as your family.
>>16953318
if you have the time / money to constantly rewrite your will and know some people are more worth it than your family, then go for it. but if u havent done this yet but are considering investing in it to hand him a copy so that you can show off how much he means to you, dont, just take him out to dinner or for a beer instead.
>>16953375
Depends, I guess. I'd probably feel bad that I'm so much more important to my friend than my friend is to me. It'd be a bit overwhelming and clingy.
>>16953364
>>16953375
Ignore those fears they are completely irrational. He must be a great friend to you if you're going through all this for him and he will see that, it will only make him think better of you. Tell him he's your best friend when you give it to him, just do it man and stop second guessing yourself. I can promise you everything will be ok in the end and maybe you'll find out your his best friend too.
>contradictory advice ;_;
>>16953415
>I'd probably feel bad that I'm so much more important to my friend than my friend is to me. It'd be a bit overwhelming and clingy.
>tfw fears realised
Would you then distance yourself from him? It's not like I expect anything from him.
>>16953419
I guess it's different person to person? Idk how I feel about this now. I want to do it because I hope you are right but what if the other anon is right and he thinks I'm clingy :/
>>16953432
I'm the guy with the clinginess.
Just elaborate a bit on your friendship, how did you meet, how long have you been friends, what topics do you usually talk about and how personal are your conversations.
>>16953449
We met at work 5 years ago. He's kind of a typical alpha male type. We talk about all sorts of things and he often says he can only talk about certain things with me, politics, life, death, philosophy, the universe, relationships, games, money, drugs, our conversations are usually deepish I guess. Just yesterday we were discussing how all forms of media as entertainment essentially trick you from a young age into believing that's how life is but when you get older you realise that isn't a reflection of life it's a fictional idealisation used for escapism by the majority, because life is essentially unimportant. We usually text once a day.
>>16953482
well, sounds to me like you have a solid friendship then.
Just don't make too big of a thing out of it, just tell him that you feel like he's been an important person in your life or sth and you decided to make him a beneficiary in your will since he's the one who helped you most in life or whatever. I don't think that'll come off as clingy, rather a sign of genuine friendship and appreciation.
>>16953543
Kk. I'm going to do it later today. Thanks for your advice.
>>16953568
No problem. Best wishes to you bro/sis.
