How do I get over the fact that the girl I am with ended her last relationship to be with me(she says she didn't but it feels like it). I was over at her house today and all I felt was guilt because she lived with this other person before and all I felt was memories that they had there. It just tore me up I almost felt like breaking down, I want to be happy with her but it doesn't feel like I can be. She makes me happy but it doesn't feel right for some reason.
Bump pls help.
If all the evidence you have that she broke off her last relationship to be with you is "it feels like it", then you have absolutely nothing to go on and are just full of shit.
>>16951677
Ah, the classic home wrecker that no one respects or likes.
>>16951704
She said she was planning on ended it with him for about a year, but did it when I came along and didn't understand why I couldn't be with her until he moved out of her house.
>>16951704
How do I trust her? How do I trust her enough to know that if we have any problems or if im too busy with my work that she won't just cheat on me? She says that she won't ever do that stuff but how do I feel better about it.
>>16951729
By realizing she already has another guy to talk to the way she talked to you while cheating with the other guy on him with you
bump pls.
>>16951739
How do I deal with that though, she keeps all of her stuff private, but we do pretty much hangout every day of the week and she seems more worried about me being with other girls.
>>16951762
You dont, you enabled her behaviour by subliminally showing her you accepted that behaviour buy doing it with her, so she thinks you are okay with it, subconsciously.
>>16951779
I told her though before we started dating that non of that shit could happen. That I would be busy with work and if she has problems to talk to me. I told her that cheating is the worst thing to do to someone.
Don't listen to >>16951704
I mean, sure that's a logical approach but feelings aren't logical. If something feels off, it is.
It could be she didn't want to feel abandoned and so she got with you before processing an grieving the previous loss. So now this baggage is lingering and you can feel it in a subtle way.
>>16951804
So would that explain why despite ending a 3 year relationship I didn't really notice any sadness or emotional reaction from her. She was upset for maybe an hour and not even that upset.
>>16951791
Well just keep thinking like that and all should be good in your mind. There, you both are totally satisfied in your needs of the relationship.
>>16951808
You mean the previous guy, she was with for 3 years? And she just jumped into it with you?
>>16951813
Not really jumped into it with me, we talked and became friends and played video games together, we also worked with each other for about a year. She showed her interest for a month before I confronted her about it, then I waited until she broke up with him. I told her right at the start I couldn't be with her if she was with someone else. Yes she was with him for 3 years.
>>16951809
How do I keep thinking like that though? I want to confront her about it but I feel like she will just get pissed off. When ever we talk about anyone else cheating I always say how I will never do it but she doesn't say anything.
She could be the type who constantly needs a relationship to fill a deep void.
You proved to be ready to date her before she dropped him, making it a convenience for her to have started dating you. He likely was tired of her shit, and more than likely it doesn't matter to her who it is, as long as she has a warm body.
It sounds unhealthy and I wouldn't be surprised if she already senses your apprehension, and has orbiters on standby.
>>16951831
She doesn't really have very many friends though and is pretty socially awkward. That part about him being tired of her shit does kind of concern me though. Right now we have just started dating for a little over a month and not much has really went wrong. The reason why she said she left him is because he acts like a child, but that doesn't make sense because I do also, she hasn't told me details why it happened just that she thought about it for a long time.
>>16951843
If the one thing she highlighted about him was that he was childish, more than likely she acted childish as well and saw that trait reflected back at her. Now she sees the same thing, maybe realizing her errors, or else just repressing the pain. Whatever happens, I wish you luck, and if you get hurt, don't take it personally.
And out of curiousity, how old is she?
>>16951854
She is turning 25 this year. When I talked to her first about not wanting to be with her while living with someone she did seem kind of childish in the response. She said she didn't understand and how couldn't I just think of it as her living with a room mate, but she doesn't get yelling or anything she got quiet and sounded upset. I really don't want to get hurt at all, she said she loved me but I didn't say it back.
>>16951860
Sounds like you're dating my ex ex. Keks
Yeah dude, she's emotionally unavailable. The room mate reference is likely a comparison to the chasm that grew between them.
>>16951868
As I can see it didn't turn out well for you. I really want it to work with her just until I can at least get a new job so I don't have to work with her. Its hard though because ive resorted to talking to random strangers on the internet before her.
>>16951868
I also find she doesn't really try to challenge anything I say she just says ok and goes along with it. She is also extremely jealous of any other woman.
>>16951872
Communication breakdowns lead to breakups. It sounds like you want to minimize her presence in your life which is a pretty sure fire sign it's fucked.
>>16951808
She had mentally ended that previous relationship quite some time before.
It's like getting divorced after a 20 year marriage. The person ending it usually celebrates because it's the end of a long road they've been travelling for a long time. Unless it's mutual the person being dumped often doesn't know it's coming.
Most people don't leave relationships until they have another person lined up. So don't expect too much remorse and also take into consideration you're the rebound guy.
>>16951878
I dont want to minimize her presence in my life though, we pretty much hangout everyday of the week and she stays over quite a bit. Its just hard talking to her about that stuff because she can't understand my perspective.
>>16951884
When you try to share those feelings she probably just hears "I'm gonna abandon you"
>>16951879
She still has him added on facebook and online games. She also said before that it was hard to end it with him because he was a friend.
>>16951888
She did however still dump him but she isn't autistic by showing she has empathy and sympathy.
>>16951897
True on that. Should I confront her on my feeling and what im thinking to get her take on it. Last time I did that she just didn't understand how I feel, only saw from her perspective.
>>16951897
Bump again.
