I spent the last year not going to school. My parents paid for me to live in an apartment in another state thinking I was going to college and I dropped out long ago.
Now my dad's asking for my tax info so he can file for his exemptions or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know what to do. I'm totally fucked. I have to tell him the truth but I wish there was a way for me to just get rid of all this anxiety I've been feeling for the past couple days and just tell him. But honestly I don't deserve to feel ok about this, I deserve to be anxious and nervous and I deserve to kill myself.
I deserve to die. I wasted my parents money and I lied to them, I am worthless. I feel lower than scum.
Why am I even posting this here, I do not deserve advice, there is no advice to give. I just need to tell them. I just need to tell them. Fuck why can't I do it.
did you have a good time though?
If you truly hate your parents and want them to suffer, go ahead with killing yourself. Otherwise, you're just trying to escape having to deal with it. It's not that what you did should be punishable by death, it's just another way to not face up to it. "Deserving" to kill yourself means deserving no consequences, and just causing more issues for other people.
...because what you need is a mild brain washing so you don't feel too bad about it, and even end up thinking it was a good idea.
Then plan the best way to weasel around the truth when you own up,
so you slowly meld the two realities ...
(your dad's nonsense with the actual truth and the bullcrap you're gonna tell).
...and with this tactic, you should sorta get there in the end without too many bumps. Where all realities converge with least fuss.
>>16948111
yes
just did gamedev and became pretty good at drawing. I honestly think I could make money off these skills eventually. And my parents know about it. They are actually really proud of the stuff I've made with gamedev, they're just unaware I'm not going to school.
I actually went back to school THIS semester, but I didn't go to school the entire year of 2015, so I have to somehow explain this to my dad. fuck
heres what you do,first come out with it all,tell them your'e sorry,if their good people they will understand,its only 1 year you have the rest of your life ahead,btw also had the same problem didn't go to school for a year i told my parents and they got really upset but after some time they let it slipped,whats important is that you must have confindence ,don't fill guilty as long as you get back up it's find,,take chances,make mistakes,get messy!!!
>>16948123
t-thanks ms frizzle
>>16948122
>yes
>just did gamedev and became pretty good at drawing. I honestly think I could make money off these skills eventually. And my parents know about it. They are actually really proud of the stuff I've made with gamedev, they're just unaware I'm not going to school.
>I actually went back to school THIS semester, but I didn't go to school the entire year of 2015, so I have to somehow explain this to my dad. fuck
that sort of sounds exactly what dad wanted so you should be fine with it. good luck.
Oh oooooooooooh you're in so much trouble, buddy
You wouldn't get another drop of money from me if you were my kid. I would be pissed.
You could stay in your current apartment and figure out a way to pay your bills and survive or you could move back home and deal with me and go to work nearly everyday while paying me back and saving money to pay for your own college or whatever. I wouldn't buy another damn thing for you. I'm telling you, I'd be very angry about it and wouldn't be very understanding at all. This is a big lie OP. A year long lie based around small lies that's you've probably had to tell all year. No way would I just let something like go. How could I even trust you after something like that. It would take a long time for sure.
Better hope your parents understand mental illness. You clearly have problems and need to see a professional.
>>16948123
Essentially Stealing you parents money and lieing about it while you take advantage of them isn't a mistake. It's a purposeful thing that OP knew was wrong the entire time he was doing it. Being a good person has nothing to do with understanding his choice or letting it slip. I would be beyond pissed. If OP had a car that would be sold to get my money back. He could ride the fucking bus to work or wherever. I would be beyond pissed at OP and not understanding or nice about it at all. He's messed up big time and he knows it.
>>16948122
>>16948108
I hope your dramatics in the OP are just that, and that you don't genuinely feel quite this terrible. Because honestly, you haven't done THAT badly. I'm not going to say you're 100% fine because, yeah, it's only normal and human for someone in your position to feel guilty and anxious. But there's no need for it to eat into your self worth, it's not like you just sat around for a year and fleeced them.
Don't sell yourself short when you tell them either. Acknowledge that you did wrong of course, but make sure you tell them you spent your time in a way you thought was fruitful, because it'll only hurt them more if you make yourself out to be a complete shitstain with nothing to show for himself. Don't confuse self flagellation with true repentance.
Suck it up and take it on the chin. Don't make excuses. Just tell them you fucked up, and leave it at that. You're going to be in shit over it, but what's the worst they can do? Kick you out on your own ass? Hell, even that's not the end of the world. I lived in the back of a stationwagon for a while, it wasn't that bad. But whatever you do, don't make excuses. You're going to get yelled at for certain, and excuses will only make it worse. Owning your fuckups is an important lesson that will serve you well in life. When they ask "how", "Why", "WTF", just keep repeating, "I have no excuses." or "I won't waste your time with excuses". Be a man.
