So...I'll try to make this quick. Not long ago I decided I was officially done with dating, fast forward, I end up getting myself into what is basically dating someone anyway
She is sweet and I like her, but that for me don't mean we need to suddenly act like a married couple right away, she seems to feel otherwise. I am a very self occupying person, like alone time, etc, she constantly (and I mean constantly) needs attention and likes to talk 24 7, and honestly I just can't do that
What do you do? If she was someone I didn't like, I'd tell her so or just ignore her till she got the point, but I do like her...so what the hell do I do?
Since you like her, and it seems like you think you are in a relationship, the best course of action would be to make it official.
Sit her down, tell her about how much alone time you need/she should expect, etc. I hopefully don't have to tell you how all of that conversation should go and what topics that should include past this.
I've seen similar happen with a bunch of friends. While this is just anecdotal...
What usually happens is the relationship is rocky and chaotic and filled with exciting drama until she gets what she wants.
This is especially the case if she is the kind of girl who thrives on trying to convert what she sees as an essentially good guy who needs to *grow up* or *accept* something. I'd argue this is a personality flaw unless the guy is actively courting this situation.
Eventually this either ends due to him being sick of whining and realising that he didn't want to *grow up* according to the strange desires of another potentially damaged person, or turns into trying to satisfy her need to have constant 'support' and emotional availability.
This can be like ultimately trying to fill a black hole for a lot of insecure people who aren't actively working on these issues and I've seen friends remain in these relationships until she decided that "it just doesn't feel right" or "this is borderline abuse, I always feel crazy" or "I've learnt so much about what love *should* be, and this isn't love". They eventually get dumped.
It works pretty well though if both sides are mutually co-dependent. Sometimes the guy will be so thrown around by the crazy that they end up co-dependent.
I went to an event the other week where I was talking to a friend who I'd not seen for a few months. About 2 minutes into the conversation his girlfriend walked over to interrupt us saying that she was having a really hard time talking to another group of mutual friends and she couldn't believe that he was being so ignorant as to ignore her and them and she'd appreciate it if he came over and showed her some support as his partner like they'd been talking about.
Top kek. As if I'd ever put up with that from my girlfriend. Straight up desire to control someone in order to pad their own poor self esteem.
