Also pic related, hospital food

I've been depressed my whole life basically. I've done therapy, drugs, support groups, basically everything available. Nothing helped.

The only thing that I've found that helps is using your depression for something useful. Like I write, I'm working on my third novel now.

I mean....I'm still depressed, but I at least feel useful.

is that just carrot chunks in ranch?

>>16927941
I don't want to live like that. Suicide is a better option. If I can't live without constantly feeling like shit, I don't want to live at all.>>16927943
No, it's carrots in white sauce

>>16927941
have you tried ketamine therapy? supposed to be semi-miraculous

Usually I can get some sort of distraction when it gets really bad like right now, but the WiFi here only works on my phone and my mum won't pick up the phone so I have no one to talk to. If I had some thing to kill myself with at hand, I probably would have. Sorry for blog post but I need to vent somehow

>>16927945
well you obviously don't actually want help, so why make a thread?

>>16927964
???
Anon this is me soliciting help, I just need to hear something new that isn't take a walk get a dog

>>16927968
Okay anon, listen i've been extremely depressed since highschool I've lost some very close people due to suicide and I finally found something that's really helped me

Start at page 90,

http://seinfeld.co/library/meditations.pdf

>>16927950
I've heard about it, but I don't really have any interest. I've been depressed for so long, it doesn't really bother me. I barely even notice it anymore. My only real complaint is I wish i could stop drinking so much, which i'm working on.

It also sounds like stoner science, so i tend to stay away from that shit. Also, even if it works, there's no long term studies. Like anti-depressents work for a lot of chronic depressed people, but after 10 years or so they always wear off, and the depression comes back hardcore, and a lot of these people off themselves.

Fuck all that shit, i'll just deal with my depression.

>>16927975
Thanks.I've tried reading meditations before, but book 1 is kind of empty. Thus is better, except for all the religious conviction.

>>16927941
Well...I've gotten used to it. My depression really isn't that big of an issue for me anymore, I actually think it gives me a much better view on life than most everyone has.

It might suck at first, but whatever. I know people with missing limbs who thought they'd kill themselves at first, but they don't really even notice it anymore. Same thing.

But if you want to kill yourself, go ahead though. I don't claim to have all the answers, maybe you're a douchebag and the world will be better off without you.

>>16927950
My problem with just about any psych meds are nobody knows how the fuck they work, or what they do exactly. All they know is basically, "Uh if some people swallow this, they're not so sad....i mean....not everyone, but some people....for a while....i guess."

I been through that whole med shit for several years. None of them worked, they all have huge side effects, and when i complained that they didn't work, they'd just tell me to keep taking it for another 6 months to see good results, or if i got to that point and they didn't do shit, they'd just put me on another drug and repeat the cycle.

So with any drug, or treatment, I'm done with that shit unless you can tell me exactly what it does, how it works, why it's worth it.

Like...i just had my knee looked at. The doctor said, "Ok, this is the problem, this is what causes it, this is what you should do, this is how long it will take," and it got fixed. That's fucking medicine there, not this "Uh....have you tried gargling mouse tripe squeezings? Because that worked for a couple of people...."

It's your mentality. Like you can even tell by the way you respond to suggestions. You're not looking for something that will work, you're looking for excuses for not being happy.

Want the hard truth? Nothing works.

The only thing that works is what you decide to MAKE work. How the fuck is anybody supposed to change what you think? It's YOUR fucking brain. Chances are, your depression is almost entirely created by your outlook.

You have three options:
1. Kill yourself
2. Keep living with yourself despite feeling like shit.
3. Fix the way you think and live better.

There's no drug, there's no easy way out. Those are you options. Either way, you die anyway, so who really fucking cares anyway, right?

>>16928434
Super duper smart guy here with all the answers.