How do you get over being dumped?
I was going out with my *first* gf for 2 years, where the first year was literally bliss and we were totally in love, had tons of perfect moments living together abroad for a few weeks, perfect holidays etc. She would say that I'm miles better than the guys in her uni etc (I was 25 then and she was 20), and she was fucking hot.
But since january last year my dad had major health issues (he died 3 months ago). And last summer she felt like she needed to enjoy her life more like her peers were doing (ie partying), and felt like we wouldn't have fun together or weren't doing cool stuff. She broke up with me 1 month ago because of this.
I just don't get it. I understand that I'm kind of a loner without that many friends but I never prevented her from having fun and seeing friends etc. It's like she broke up with me because it's not as fun to be with me than it is to be at a party with friends.... over which I was never invited anyway (so I couldn't even show her how fun I can be at parties etc).
I just don't get why she doesn't see that a relationship of 2 years with your bf is different than going out with international students who wants to have fun during their semester abroad? Or maybe I'm boring as fuck.... I just feel like it's such a waste to fuck up a dream relationship over something that is totally normal and happens to every couple. Such a waste for her because I see her grades tanking as well this year.
WTF do I do /adv/ ? Should I try to be with her again in 6 months or a year or something? I just feel that it's so absurd to spend 2 years close to someone then suddently she disapears and you have fuck all.
>>16920048
It sounds like she doesn't want to handle the hardship that inevitably comes with relationships. If she cared about you, and the fact that your father just died, she would try to be supportive. Instead, because she's incredibly selfish, she dropped you because you were raining on her parade. She never genuinely cared about you, only what you did for her.
>Should I try to be with her again in 6 months or a year or something?
Why? So that she can leave you again the next time your relationship is inconvenient? What's going to happen if you have a kid together and she decides to take off?
>>16920073
>Why?
it's just that our first year together (before my dad got sick) was literally perfect. She was really in love with me and everything was going perfectly, she'd look up to me and think I was much better than the other people she knew, and she was really pretty and cute as fuck. She would enjoy living with me when I was doing my internship abroad during the summer holidays, and we were just happy with only each other... best moments of my life. I just wish it could go back to this, because honestly I don't even want to be with someone else than her, thinking how good it was.
I just feel like my relationship fell to shit because my dad got cancer, sometimes I feel like it's his fault even though it really isn't
>>16920129
>she'd look up to me and think I was much better than the other people she knew
I don't mean to knock you down, but if she was constantly comparing you in that way (building you up), she was probably cheating on you. It's a pretty common thing for cheaters to do.
>I just feel like my relationship fell to shit because my dad got cancer, sometimes I feel like it's his fault even though it really isn't
If it wasn't him, it would be something else. Instead of blaming him for something out of control, blame her for being stone cold and not giving a shit.
literally hotline bling: the life
>>16920298
What exactly are you looking for? I think those anons are spot on.
>>16920048
>over which I was never invited anyway (so I couldn't even show her how fun I can be at parties etc)
that's kinda your own fault, really.
don't you have any other friends to party with? you should have brought her to those and bring the groups together.
>>16920369
I wanted to but honestly by this point I was working a shit job with asshole coworkers (I left since then), and my freetime was either spent with my parents on week days and my gf on weekends....
The few times I went out with friends during last year, she was always welcome to come but usually she didn't want to (because it was too far or she had other stuff to do, honestly I didn't mind)
For some reason this post keeps coming up as spam, I don't know why.
I don't understand how people care so much about being dumped/no gf thing. I don't understand how can people think about other people in their free time. I don't understand how people brake up and then make up like 3 times in a row and still deal with the same shit again. How people rather be in a shitty relationship than single
Ofcourse that I'm a 23 year old kissless virgin, but I simply don't get the fuss, people actually kill themselves for other people. Maybe because I was never in love, don't understand the concept of it at all
>>16920486
dude I lost my v-card at 25 so I was mostly fine with the no-gf thing... and it's not even about being dumped by a random girl I knew for a month or so.
What hurts is all the shit we did exclusively together.... all of this for litterally nothing, it's like I could have dreamt for 2 years I had a gf and be in the exact same place now as I was 2 years ago. I didn't get to meet any of her friends so it's like she had no impact on my life except memories, I don't even have any way to prove I was going out with a hottie for 2 years to my friends
Despite seeming nearly impossible, you must accept that the part this relationship played in your life has ended. Doing so will take time, and it will be a rough go along the way, but you will get to a place where your mind & body adjust to the change and engage with life again as a different person. There is no other way, this kind of shock pushes you to change and become stronger. The first few months will obviously be the most difficult, but try to keep in touch with your friends/family and hobbies/interests/passions as much as possible. Right now you probably couldn't care less about any of that, but it is vital to maintain your personal & social life outside of her as much as possible. Do not contact her for any reason, no matter how strong the compulsion to do so. If you wake up in the middle of the night and your heart aches like there's a knife in it, still, DO NOT MAKE CONTACT. Allow time to push along your grieving process, it will get better.
>>16920513
How is it for nothing? You experienced things and hopefully learned something from it. What is there to hurt, having a gf shouldn't be your main life purpose.
Again I never had a gf so maybe my opinion is worthless but still
And if you need to prove anything to your friends then I'm sorry for you
>>16920546
no I don't have to prove anything to my friends, I meant it more as a joke
what I meant was that, since I didn't get invited at all in her social circle of friends etc, and she didn't want to see my friends, then we have to reason to see each others and get new from each other ever. Since she removed me from facebook it's like a giant part of my life during those past 2 years is gone and unreachable, it may as well have been in my head, and now I'm back as the same loser I was 2 years ago (except not virgin)
>>16920565
what do you want? people to talk how great you were? pictures to remind you how it was? all of her social media profiles constantly updated?
Man fuck all that and move on. Your position is actually better, fresh start with nothing to distract you
>>16920486
You haven't experienced it, and while it doesn't happen to 100% of people it happens to most for a good reason. I mean, biologically another person as a partner is a big deal so it's normal. When you're "in love" or like someone a lot, the parts of your brain effected by drugs/drug addiction are firing off the same way so when that person basically cuts you off it's like..... shit.
Hey if she's not into it anymore than she's not into it. Life is short, and it sucks but if it's meant to be then maybe later you guys will rekindle. She's being honest with how she feels and if you are not going to join her in her journey to go do things, she wants to be fair and end it rather than cause you to wait.
>>16920048
For me, no special tricks is requiered, just deal with it
>>16920195
>I don't mean to knock you down, but if she was constantly comparing you in that way (building you up), she was probably cheating on you. It's a pretty common thing for cheaters to do.
Not OP... but do you have any other evidence for this besides your word?
I build my ladies up all the time... but that doesn't mean I'm cheating on them! I just genuinely respect or admire something about them. Why wouldn't I tell them?
