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Guys something is wrong with me
Tomorrow I have an interview at the uni of my dreams, which I will definitely fail since I have absolutely nothing to present and I'm prepared in no way what's wherever. The worst part is that I don't care. And I feel like that about tons of stuff right now.
Yeah I've felt kind of down lately, but I used to have episodes like this before and somehow got over them, so I assumed this time won't be any different. I'm just prone to mood swings and stress, so I thought this is nothing out of ordinary. But this is different, it's not normal and I have no clue what's happening. A lot of things didn't go as I planned and although It hit me pretty hard at one point it stopped getting to me. I screwed up the few friendships I had and I'm a total loner right now and I don't care. I have no job and my savings are running out and I don't care. I'm drifting away from my family (which I've always been very close to) and it also doesn't bothers me. I'm not even particularly sad most of the time, just kind of neutral I guess. I can still have fun, when I read some mangus, go for a run, or draw, but the enjoyment is very fleeting and then it's back to nothing. I know that I'm probably incapable of solving this one of my own, but dunno where to seek help. My family, that is the only people who I think still give a fuck about me, are on the other side of the continent.
It's really bizarre. I used to be quite positive and happy-go-lucky type of guy (with the exception of previously mentioned moody moments) and I had quite a lot of faith in my future. Now I'm losing it and it scares me. I'm acting like an old man, and I'm barely past 20.
It wasn't supposed to be like this