How can I get a bf? I've heard that as a femanon it should be easy as I'm not fat but I still don't have one, I'm also not picky, but don't approach people due to shyness, how can I fix this?
Resolve your shyness.
>>16912020
Maybe shy wasn't the right word.. I can talk to people well if they approach me because I know they want to talk to me, but I can't approach people because I'm afraid they won't want to talk to me.
>>16912031
I'm fine with calling that shyness. Resolve it. Feel the feeling and then act anyway. Yes, they might not want to talk to you. It makes no difference in the big picture. You just continue on until you find someone else you want to approach.
Try Tinder
You're ugly or you wouldn't have this problem. MGTOW told me so.
post a pic and 4chan will be glad to tell you what the problem is
How many guys tried to talk to you this week?
How many guys have asked you out in your whole life?
Lower your standards
>>16912037
Isn't approaching someone you don't know abnormal? I know it's textbook advice for this type of situation but it seems like most people live their lives as virtual zombies, only paying attention to their phones/trying to get from point a to b as fast as possible.
>>16912041
I've never had sex, an app known for hook-ups won't work as I want an emotional connection (I don't see virginity as something "special" I just want it to be with someone I know and like.)
Ask a guy you like if he wants to get a coffee at a specific time. Set a time and date. If it goes well, see if he wants to grab dinner later that week. If that goes well too, kiss him.
Most guys will take the initiative after that.
Easy is relative. You'll face less rejection than men, but you're still putting yourself out there and risking getting hurt.
>>16912057
What does MGTOW stand for? I'm average looking, not ugly.
>>16912058
Does it always have to be physical?
>>16912060
Since I started dressing more "normally" a couple guys have approached me this school year, I think I have a scary resting face so I'm glad that even a few would approach me (ex. A guy said under this breath ".. Actually nice .." In the middle of a convo with me.)
>>16912063
>Isn't approaching someone you don't know abnormal?
No.
>but it seems like most people live their lives as virtual zombies
Confirmation bias. It's exactly the opposite for me. Being someone who interacts with others in public, I find it impossible when someone claims that everyone around me is a zombie. Obviously I'm wrong to some extent too, but the reason is that I don't notice them since I'm not interacting with them. The zombies are invisible to me because they don't conform to my bias. People like me are invisible to you because I don't conform to yours. The truth is somewhere in the middle. I've lost count of the number of dates I've went on which all started by a girl approaching me totally unprompted. This is a real thing.
>>16912086
Physical sparks the initial attraction.
I'm in a 1 year relationship, it's barely physical anymore.
>>16912063
>I've never had sex,
post pictures bae
>>16912074
I did like a guy earlier this year, he was talking to me after most every class but stopped after I said I was going to go to print some class work as he was saying something--we were walking past the library and I said sorry for inturupting him, but it seems an odd reason to stop talking to me.
>>16912089
I'll try to work on noticing the people that contrast my bias, then.. How does one approach a guy? Does it have to be someone I've seen before (a familiar stranger) or can I approach someone I've never seen before but am unsure I'll ever see them again?
>>16912107
You can approach someone you've never seen before. Just comment on your immediate surroundings (of which they are a part, e.g. something they're reading or wearing) or your shared circumstances (waiting in the same line together, attending the same class, etc.). Humor is nice but not necessary off the bat.
>>16912107
Stare at guys you find attractive they'll talk to you.
>>16912120
Noted.
>>16912124
That seems like it'll have the opposite effect, I don't want to be seen as creepy.
>>16912086
>>16912107
Sounds like guys do like you and you're shutting them down somehow
>>16912143
>I don't want to be seen as creepy.
creepy is good for girls
>>16912143
that's why you gotta look away when they see you but do it again
>>16912153
How do I not do this? I don't even know what I've done.
>>16912158
Are you serious? This makes no sense.
>>16912170
Lol this made me smile. It's hard for me to display that I like someone, so I sometimes end up ignoring them more than others, making them the only place in the room I won't look...
You are just ugly then.
If you were not, guys would automatically talk to you and try to get you or ask you out.
Deal with it.
>>16912017
Post a selfie.
>If cute, it's because shyness
>If ugly, it's because ugly
Problem solved.
>>16912242
I don't see how being ugly would be a deterrent? 90% of the population doesn't look like the media portrays people, so does a guy have a right to be that picky when they're not likely the best specimen themselves? I'm average, I don't have any genetic deformities, etc.
>>16912259
I don't want to post a pic of my face..
>>16912107
>How does one approach a guy
Probably the same way you'd approach a girl you want to make friends with? Sit next to them one day in class and be like, "Hi, what's your name? My name's X." Try to make conversation and keep in mind that chances are this person probably won't end up being your boyfriend, so don't make that your goal, or you're likely to be disappointed, just make it your goal to see if the person is friendly enough and compatible enough with you to be a friend firstly, and if they are, then you can start thinking about how to start showing them that you want to be a little more than friends. And don't worry about "friendzoning" them, as chances are if a guy finds your personality to be compatible enough and you to be attractive enough, he's not going to think "hmm, I would totally ask her out, but she made friends with me first, so nah I won't."
Keep in mind that the differences in thought processes between guys and girls are not as extreme as culture might lead you to believe, and a lot of the strategies for making and maintaining friendships with other girls are going to apply to guys as well. It's going to be hard to get a bf if you're constantly thinking of guys' minds as some near-indecipherable enigma. So don't over-think things. This is a problem so many girls have. I don't know for sure if you do have this problem, but I think it's possible you might.
>>16912017
you are probably going to the wrong places. guys often won't approach you in the street. go to bars or clubs where it is seen as a normal to approach women. also, trying dating sites.
>>16912278
no, most people look average, but some are just uglier than average that's all.
we aren't all beautiful, nor average.
>>16912291
its easy for girls to look average with make up. girls can literally go from 4/10 to at at least 6-7/10 with good make up. the only reason most girls even look decent is because of make up.
>>16912305
yeah but personnally, if a girl looks like a 6/10 WITH make up, i won't even try.
>>16912335
fair enough. I'm not that bothered about looks. i care more about if i like talking to the girl. was just making a point.
>>16912282
This is good advice. I don't think of guys as having a different mental structure compared to women, so I don't think this is my problem, but I'll try to follow this.
>>16912285
I don't want sex, I want a relationship.
>>16912291
Then wouldn't the bell curve (usually even on each side) suggest that only 10% of the population is undeniably unnattractive? It's possible I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm not hideous.
>>16912305
I don't wear make-up because I don't like putting chemicals on my face.
>>16912017
How often do guys ask you out?
>>16912343
well even tho looks matter to me, they aren't as important as it seems.
obviously if a find a 7/10 with a good matching personnality, i'd rather choose her than the 10/10 model that i can't even have a good conversation with.
>>16912335
Are you sure you aren't the one being picky?
>>16912371
everyone is kind of picky in his own way.
some are more than others that's all.
don't tell me you aren't picky about anything.
>I think I have a scary resting face
>I don't see how being ugly would be a deterrent?
>I don't want to post a pic of my face
>I'm not fat but I still don't have one
i don't know if you're ugly, but you're making it pretty easy to assume that you're ugly
>>16912359
To be honest, you sound like the kind of girl I'd like to meet. Ignore anyone telling to post a selfie, and just try and talk to a guy you like.
Try and build up some confidence, and just at least say "Hello" or something, maybe ask him if they want to go out and do something, maybe suggest it as a date or not if you want, and then afterwards suggest that you might like to do it again. Sometimes making the first move helps a lot, especially if the guy doesn't know that you like him/vice versa.
Hope this helps you.
>>16912363
I've answered this, guys approach me and seem interested, but I mess it up.
>>16912374
Concerning humans, I'm not picky with looks, I just want someone healthy in mind and body.
>>16912359
not all guys in bars and clubs are looking for sex. some will just want your number. you can just be like here is my number, and than you can take it from there.
>>16912379
Assumptions are ok with me, it's an anonymous site and you can assume what you would like about me. I'm on this site because I like the idea of being anonymous, hence why I won't post my face.
>>16912386
Thank you, I will try to make my affections better known when I meet someone I'm attracted to.
>>16912411
Oh, I thought it was just assumed that if you were in a bar you were there for sex, I don't drink often, so maybe that isn't the place for me.. Where else could I go other than bars or clubs?
How old are you?
>>16912436
I guess I should have stated this at the beginning of the post, but I just turned 19, I'm in uni.
>>16912017
The objective of the female is not to approach the male. In fact, it is the other way around.
Biologically speaking, males are supposed to approach females, and then females get to pick the males they deem to have the best genetics. That's why you never see a woman approaching a man.
Just let them come to you, femanon :)
>>16912458
And whats your major? if you dont mind
>>16912431
concerts maybe, gyms, any sort of class. most people where i live meet there partners at parties or through people.
>>16912464
It actually seems that in nature that the male is the one that needs to be colourful, and unique enough to be approached by the female, ex. Birds. Does that mean that as humans women are expected to be the peacock?
>>16912466
This is my first year, I don't have a major.
>>16912479
kind of. guys are more likely to approach the better looking females, even if they are looking for a relationship.
>>16912478
So I guess I need to get out more, I mostly just go to class.
>>16912485
Would being eccentric work as well, then? Sticking out from the crowd in one way or another?
I don't get how you can go to uni without being decided on a major
>>16912479
Yeah, the male needs to be confident and showcase good genetics, such as good lucks, height etc (neither of which I have, kek). Then the woman needs to choose which male she'll mate with.
I hate using all this biological terminology in normal conversation of 4chan, but I think it's just the easiest way to get my point across. I don't want to sound like a pretentious faggot.
>>16912017
>tfw no chad bf
jesus christ
Where are you from?
>>16912490
yeah, basically. i personally won't always speak to girls in class with the intent to get into them because i wouldn't date someone i go to class with, i would see them too often. just get out more, even if it is going grocery shopping.
>>16912485
>>16912464
Holy shit, can we stop with the Discovery Chanell nature documentary shit, here? "Biologically" my ass. Man can be shy as fuck as well, or just don't be sure that a girl is interested. OP, if you want to talk with someone just do it, maybe the guy likes you but thinks it's not the other way as well.
>>16912359
>I don't want sex, I want a relationship.
a relationship is friendship + getting pounded
the first step to solving all your problems is to stop lying to yourself
what do you ACTUALLY want?
>>16912496
depends. if you are talking about getting blue hair or something, then i would say no, it makes a girl look edgy and weird - it is the female equivalent of a fedora
>>16912479
Also, OP, just a little word of advice:
If you weren't going to already, go with a good STEM degree, especially if you live in the US. It sucks that you guys have to pay such high prices for a piece of paper.
Just make sure it's a worthwhile piece of paper.
>>16912498
My uni does it differently, I guess, for the first year no one gets a major, it's called "university 1"
>>16912499
Im sure there are a variety of women looking to mate with these choice subjects, I just want an average guy.
>>16912464
Wew, but then when you want to you star babbling about gender equality
>>16912501
???
>>16912503
Canada.
>>16912504
I will try.
>>16912510
So I should try to be more assertive in case they're shy?
>>16912511
Oh, I'm completely fine with sex while in a relationship, I just don't want a one night stand.
>>16912514
Well, I dyed my hair blonde, but I didn't colour it, I'm in the process of growing it out darker again so it's kind of short.
>>16912522
What does this mean?
If you're expecting a male to hook you up for no reason out of nowhere unless you live in a stereotypical ghetto you won't have any luck.
You either need to go in places about socializing, like clubs and stuff or actually move your ass a little yourself by chit-chatting a little.
>>16912542
feminists are ideologically broken and leftism is a mental illness
>>16912017
What traits do you have that make you attractive?
>inb4 muh dirty spoogehole
Contrary to what you've been taught, most men are not content with a vagina. They generally like having a calm, gentle girly girl type to share a life with.
>>16912548
Yeah, I know.
>>16912553
Well, yes, that's an opinion, I was wondering how it connected to the post you replied to.
>>16912565
Different person, lad.
>it's an opinion.
yeah okay, whatever lets you sleep at night
Same anon that posted this:
>>16912386
>>16912530
Yes, be more a bit more assertive in case they're shy/quiet. I myself am a very quiet person, though I end up attracting attention to to my voice being described as a "Perfect Deep Voiced Narrator" quote unquote. I'm not very fond of this attention, honestly.
But anyways, I have problems approaching girls I like and asking them out. I can approach them, talk to them, think about asking them out, but I never do.
Does this make sense?
>>16912530
>So I should try to be more assertive in case they're shy?
If you like someone you just need to talk with them, maybe ask them out if you want and they seem to be very shy or not responding/taking the initiative (maybe a guy is able to talk with you as a friend and seems comfortable, but he's insecure about doing that since he could think you don't like him that way). Of course, it depends on you and how you feel comfortable as well, but I think that they:
>>16912074
>>16912120
>>16912282
>>16912386
got it right.
>>16912017
>How can I get a bf?
1. talk to a man
2. don't be obviously insane
3. wait for him to ask you out
4. turn him down because his nose isn't perfectly symmetrical
5. make this thread again
>>16912592
You typed the wrong address, >>>/r9k/ is that way.
>>16912561
I wasn't going to say vagina. The problem with the traits you've mentioned is that they can just be superficial. To people that don't know me I appear to be exactly what you've described.
>>16912568
It being an opinion means that I could say the same about the right, that doesn't make it true.
>>16912572
Yes, if someone appears to be attracted to me, and I'm attracted to them I should just ask them out so that it doesn't lead to nothing; I guess it wouldn't hurt if they didn't like me.
>>16912599
stop putting women on a pedestal lad
>>16912603
you haven't answered the question
why would a particular man want to date you? what value do you place in yourself that others would see?
>>16912603
There is noting wrong with making the first move as a girl
Its great actually
>>16912575
Noted, you do seemed to have compiled the best replies.
1. Create an account on an online dating site.
2. Upload a picture.
3. Wait for the spam from desperate men to start flowing in
4. Decide how you're gonna filter away all the bullshit, you might want to write some kind of script which autohides the most common spam messages.
>>16912610
Judging ones best points are only easy to a narcissist, but I'll try noting stereotypically liked things.. I'm clean, I dress well, my face is symmetrical (I think, no ones perfectly symmetrical), my body isn't overly over or under weight. Or were you looking for personality traits? I don't think these are worth mentioning as everyone likes different things.
>>16912610
>not being in a perpetual robot bitterness
>pedestal
kek, sure buddy.
>>16912603
>Yes, if someone appears to be attracted to me, and I'm attracted to them I should just ask them out so that it doesn't lead to nothing; I guess it wouldn't hurt if they didn't like me.
Yep, I think it would be the right thing, in my opinion. Between two shy people the start otherwise is going to be difficult. You sound cool, go for it.
>>16912631
I've heard that dating sites are most commenly used by older people, I want someone my own age (or close to it)
>>16912640
that's why i asked what you think of yourself. people pick up on that kinda stuff and you need to look inside to see what's great about yourself.
and go ahead and give a dating site a try. guarantee you'll get inundated with messages
>>16912017
How do I get a gf when literally every woman I know is in a relationship already, or is otherwise unable to date?
This city is fucking shit.
>>16912031
dress like a slut/sexier/more skin.
Lots of guys will approach you/make moves on you, I promise.
Now you don't even have to make the first move, problem solved.
You don't need to approach people as a woman, but you do need to present yourself as available and initiate eye contact
