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I have a plan to kill myself before I turn 40, and I turn 38 this year. Is there any chance I could save myself and live out the rest of my life?

I feel sick just typing that out because I know I'm going to do it, and a part of me is scared of what I'm about to do, but I can't imagine any outcome but a gory death in the near future.

For the curious, I'm going to throw myself off a railway bridge in front of a train.
>>
Why 40 specifically? It's a fucking meaningless number.
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