my 2 friends (they're a couple) and i went to have dinner together, and split 2 dishes on top of our own order. (so in total, we had 5 dishes)
when getting ready to pay, i asked the cashier if there's a way she could split the cost of the 2 shared dishes between 3 people (with our own dishes attached to our own bill) or otherwise, let me pay for 1 of the shared dishes and my own dish. (assuming the other dish would be paid for by the boyfriend for his girlfriend)
her english wasn't very good, so she seemed a little confused (and "scared" according to my friends), and my friends started panicking and the boyfriend just decided to pay for the whole bill so we can split our bills on our own.
later, my friends seemed a little embarrassed about what i did, but was what i did socially wrong/autistic?
i've only normie'd up in the past 3 years (i'm 24) and i get paranoid about fucking up and looking weird...
>>16909908
Nope that was totaly ok
Unless you were staring at the cashiers boobies like a madman.
>>16909917
i'm female, with a boyfriend of my own so that wouldn't be a problem...
plus she was asian, so it's not like there was anything to look at in the first place (and before you guys rip on me, i'm asian too)
>>16909908
Server here. Your request wasn't especially odd or unreasonable, but if I had a customer that made it and I didn't know how to meet that request with the particular register system I was dealing with at the time (and I almost certainly wouldn't, because this sort of thing doesn't come up often), I would panic and immediately look scared. It wouldn't be because the customer did anything wrong, but I'd instantly be worried about having to inconvenience them or my other customers at the time by taking a big chunk of time just to figure out how to accomplish this, or outright refuse without being sure it couldn't be done. You're fine, though. If it ever comes up again I recommend just working it out among yourselves unless you don't mind waiting a while for the bill to come back.
>>16909949
whew, thanks... yeah i should've talked it over with them, but i wanted to take the lead i guess.
i guess my friends are just super considerate and felt bad that i put the cashier on the spot for something... they made it sound like i almost got us blacklisted from the restaurant.
>>16909908
Being austistic vs normie isnt what you did but how you executed that. If you literally said
> is there's a way you could split the cost of the 2 shared dishes between 3 people or let me pay for 1 of the shared dishes and my own dish?
Then she would have answered the straightforward question. But you made her scared and so that means you did something autistic in your execution. Such as when she seemed confused you kept autistically pushing it.
Its funny how autist leave out the autistic parts of their stories. Theres clearly more to it that would easily reveal your autism.
>>16909983
well my first mistake was assuming she knew enough english to know what i was talking about... i guess i should've known she was pretty fobby.
since it's still somewhat fresh in my head, it went something like
>girl hands me the total receipt, hasn't been split yet
>"hey, is there a way to split these two dishes 3 ways? it's the squid balls and the fish balls there" i point on the receipt the two dishes i'm talking about
>girl: looks confused "um... you want separate?"
>"yeah, just the two ball dishes" (yeah, yeah. i was kinda smiling at that too when i realized what i said) "and my own bill"
>girl: "ohh...." she starts doing the math on the receipt manually
>at this point my friends are curious on what's the hold up
>"or could i pay for one of the ball dishes and my own dish?"
>girl finishes the math at this point and shows me how much it would cost me if the 2 dishes were split
>i go "oh ok --" but get cut off by the boyfriend who offers to pay the whole bill
that's just about what happened, honestly.
>>16910032
It's funny to me that you describe your friend's behavior as normie, because that's probably what I would've done in his place and then later gotten shit for being neurotic.
This is definitely the kind of thing you should talk over with your dining party before getting your server involved, but imo it's hardly among the worst things you can put a waitress through.
>>16910062
well the thing is i used to be really sheltered, friendless and never invited out to places, so i hardly knew what was expected of me for even simple things like using my debit card until the past few years. i still feel like i'm learning new things sometimes because i missed out on so much.
and my two friends seem pretty normie as fuck. they were even on sports teams and they have tons of other friends they've collected since elementary and are always going out to places. i guess they can be a little neurotic and worry a little too much about what others think about them sometimes (especially the girl), but since they were both kind of freaking out on me, i assumed i was in the wrong.
>>16910032
Part of being a normie is going with the flow.
>girl: looks confused "um... you want separate?
This is the point when a normie knows its not about to work out and picks another option. Dont try to clear her confusion because if it doesnt work you are all only going to try to be more confused. For all you know she was about to pull up some ridiculous numbers and you were going to have to argue about that. Secondly you are autistic for deciding that without the table. What if they wanted to split it 2 ways. Dont make things harder than the server needs it.
>>16909934
Heh.
Asians.
Boobies.
Two of my favorite words in one sentence.
>>16909934
>boyfriend of my own
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>16909908
It is unreasonable to expect them to do all the complicated computations that your mix of orders generates.
You either just divide the check in thirds, or ask for separate checks at the start, and make it clear what goes on whose check, or you just pay the whole and then work out the higher mathematics on your own afterwards.
>>16909908
It depends on HOW you did so.
Nothing wrong with splitting the bill, but if you kept remarking that like a frenetic madman every 5 minutes things would go awkard.
You either say it once or just pretend to be that one generous guy who will pay for everyone only obviously get stopped by your friends that now will either say to split the bill or even pay themselves for the whole thing telling you next time will be yours.
Paying exactly your own share is a faux pas more often than not. I hate it too.
When we eat out with friends there is sometimes someone who wants to split things exactly and it is often grounds to lightly mock that person. Especially if it starts to involve calculators, trips to make increasingly small change, multiple rounds of card payments including errors and false starts and generally being crazy with justifications and awkward moments about principles and anxieties based on perception of worth, value and usually some historic slight where they feel ripped off.
Just round up to the nearest common factor divisible by the number in the group depending on what notes you have and put that down. You might miss out on a buck.
I've eaten with people who have taken my change off their bill. Crazy. When called out on it because why the hell not mock them for being cheap asses they've been 'it is the principle ' types as well.
>>16909908
> "scared" according to my friends
>my friends seemed a little embarrassed about what i did
honestly I don't get this shit about society....
>be with friends
>some unusual but meaningless social situation occurs
>try your best to act normal
>people think you acted "strangely"
>they let you know afterwards that they were embarrassed and are shaming you
that's total bullshit.... I never understood why some people need to pick apart every social situation and say it was awkward and "blame" you, are they even your friends?
I mean if I were at the place of your friends, I would never think this was akward or embarrassing or whatever, just a minor inconvenience to have to split the bill on your own, but litterally no big deal.
fuck this is 100% first world problems
>>16910538
top kek
projecting much
>>16910339
>>16910493
>>16910525
what the fuck, so wait, i was being autistic about it?
because my friends later literally pulled out a calculator to calculate what we owed after the boyfriend paid to split our costs evenly.
i still offered to buy a dish so it'd be cheaper on them, but they ended up splitting it perfectly between us 3.
>>16910482
i mean you can check out >>16910032 to see what happened for yourself. i didn't push anything, i just asked a question.
>>16910538
well you make it out worse than it is, but yeah to be honest, i did feel like shit. but if it was my bad, then i'll just be careful not to do this again. which is why i'm asking itt if what i did was really that unusual.
>>16910619
> which is why i'm asking itt if what i did was really that unusual.
honestly not unusual at all, it must happen to the waitress everyday. And I'd say it's even her fault if she is unable to understand how you want to split the bill, so I think you'd be in your right to insist and have her split the bill as you want.
As I say, there's litterally nothing autistic about what you did... my point was to emphasis that your friends' behavior is something I've noticed more and more: as soon as there is a miscommunication people will think that it's awkward and weird, as though you did something bad. It's like people are competing amongst friends to see who is the most socially able and smooth, and that you're looked down if you aren't on par.
I just imagine if the same situation happened between my parents and their friends, no one would give a fuck and much less talk about it as if something occured, it would be litterally forgotten forever after 1 minute.
