I'm a 19 y/o female and quite frankly, I have no positive thoughts on my appearance. I used to be ok with this - I accepted I wasn't my own cup of tea and also accepted that I could be others, but that just isn't cutting it anymore (good run tho).
I'm just incredibly down about my appearance and its been affecting my sex drive thus affecting my relationship + I tend to put myself in a poor mood thinking about it.
I don't know how other people raise their self esteem without just blatantly lying to themselves for a few months. I decided to start losing weight to get off the chubbier side (22.5 bmi), but I'm still stuck with my face, even then. I've also begun studying more frequently in my free time because I thought that would help for some reason.
Advice on either how to get it to stop running other parts of my life or on how to improve self esteem would be great.
>>16908881
What about start wearing makeup or clothes that make you feel sexy / pretty?
>>16908940
I was toying with the idea except it brings a whole new set of problems I have to work on, honestly.
I've never worn makeup - I wasn't allowed when I lived with my parents and I don't really have the money to go and spend on those products since I have none at all. Then to learn how to use them... Same with clothes - dressed very conservatively over my parents (I still can't wear tanktops without feeling uncomfortable), and I haven't the money to get anything else.
>>16908998
Ask your bf if he can buy you some? Does he work...? Could you find a job if possible?
run to lose weight, squats for dat ass
Clothes, hair, makeup, jewelry
Nice underwear to make yourself feel sexy
Looking good is entirely your own choice as a female
>>16908881
get good skin first, have a routine and eat healthy.
go to the gym and get a better body
>>16909013
I do work - I just have other things I'm saving for currently, ha. He does as well, I just don't like the idea of asking him to ~take me shopping for mah self esteem.
>>16909026
>>16909042
I'm really guessing I should have clarified - I DO take care of myself. Just because my self esteem is low doesn't mean I do the absolute bare minimum amount of care. I have a job, go to school, and try to look as presentable as possible. It's important to make very good first impressions on people since you never know who they may be.
I've had a skin care routine for years, my skin is pretty good, in my opinion.
The problem isn't that I don't "look good." It's actually wholly irrelevant. Of course it would be worse if I let my hair do whatever and smeared grease on my skin, but, since, I don't...
The problem is that it doesn't matter. I can look really great, in theory, but I never see it, personally. The only thing I can ever see are a bunch of flaws. Hell, even if I can admit I do look good, I think of something like, "well, of course I have to look this good - I need to make up for my plethora of mental issues." I become such a pity party and it disgusts me.
The only solution I've ever come up with was to minimize/mitigate every single flaw I could think of but this just turned me into a complete wreck.
I don't know how to just 'accept' myself without picking myself apart.
>how do I stop chucking a sad about what I can't control
Realise no amount of sad chucking will change it. Start exercising. Clean up your diet. Learn some nice hair styles. Learn to use a bit of makeup. Learn to dress well. Learn some skills. Etc etc.
>I used to be ok with this - I accepted I wasn't my own cup of tea and also accepted that I could be others, but that just isn't cutting it anymore (good run tho).
That's always the rule though, no matter how good looking you are there will always be people who do and don't like your looks. Literally a moot point.
>>16908881
I used to be a fat guy (like, John Goodman fat) and I didn't even want to take my shirt off in bed with my wife. I started getting fit. Its been a journey, but I'm finally starting to come around. You'd be amazed how much your face changes when you drop 20% body fat.
>>16909108
Congratulations on losing all that weight! I do hope my face will look better after a good few months of exercising and all that. Thanks.
>>16909113
>after a few good months
It might not be a few months, it might be years. I started walking to get healthier after my dad had his first heart attack in 2012. I was already 30. Maintaining activity was a struggle, diet was a struggle (protip: increasing calories out is infinitely easier than decreasing calories in). I'm just now getting where I want to be, but its so fucking worth it.
Also, if it comes to it, don't be afraid to push the engine along. I just finished a SARMs run and its the best choice I've ever made.
>>16908881
Can you clarify what it is you don't like about your appearance?
