Option 1
>reliable and mature
>financially secure
>close family and friends
>no sex
>no spark
>very little in common
Option 2
>lots in common
>amazing sex
>amazing connection
>not that social, can withdraw at times
>not financially secure
>slightly chaotic lifestyle
Which one would be the best option? Option 1 seems like the best long term option but I crave the connection I have with option 2. Option 2 is absolutely perfect but a relationship would be quite difficult to maintain in the beginning. I honestly feel this person and I could be fantastic together long term though.
>>16907384
Wich one makes you happy the most?
Option 2, connection is more important.
>>16907392
When it comes to relationships just always choose whoever makes you happy, if it's a high risk then fuck it, take it, you don't want to realize one day when you are 40 with a stable family that you let go the love of yor ilfe just to have a less risky option
TL;DR you may regret choosing someone that doesn't really makes you happy
>>16907389
Option 2.
Option 1 is still great, I just don't have a very strong connection with them. We have different political opinions for a start and we're just on different wave lengths in general.
Option 2 and I still disagree on certain topics but our discussions are wonderful. I can't get enough of listening to them.
>>16907384
this was actually a thing from south park
Pick neither, you don't have to pick one.
You can casually talk to 1 and 2, if you want, but don't force it.
But out of curiosity, why not sex for 1?
>>16907389
Women dont want happiness or love or all that other bullshit men made up, they want security and status.
>>16907402
Ah shit I though that was OP
Keep option 2 around, find someone similar to 2.
I have a feeling that your easy communication is like that for a reason, and that you can find someone else you can just as easily connect with.
Option 2 also comes off as ENTP. Look it up, look up relationships involving ENTP. You might be able to help/ guide them.
>>16907401
Thank you Anon, what excellent advice.
This is exactly the predicament I am in. Option 2 would be a very passionate relationship. Option 1 would be a solid relationship but quite boring. I'd hit all those life milestones but only for the sake of doing them. With option 2, I think I'd just enjoy life with them, regardless of what happened.
I should add that I have known Option 1 in a romantic sense for longer than I have known Option 2, but I have known both of them for a long time, so I would like to think neither are effected by infatuation.
>>16907402
If you agreed with everything it would quickly turn into a boring relationship, my sister and her bf disagree in a lot of things but they always look happy as fuck, may even get married next year
fuck option 1, why would you want that shit you boring bastard
>>16907434
It's the safe option. I don't really feel anything that intense for Option 1, so I wouldn't worry about it failing. I feel so strongly about Option 2 that I'd live in fear that they might stop caring about me. They don't provide the same security Option 1 would.
>>16907444
Dude it's better to regret the things that you did rather than regret the things that you didn't, you have more to loose with option 2 than with option 1
>>16907384
>Option 1: No sex, no spark, very little in common
>Option 2: Lots in common, amazing sex, amazing connection
Unless you're a gold digger who wants to marry only for financial reasons, the answer here seems incredibly obvious.
>>16907461
It's not the money because I'm financially secure myself. It's the intensity of the relationship and the fact it might not come to anything. I think I'd be really sad if I tried and failed to have a relationship with this person.
Option 1 is pretty much guaranteed to work.
>>16907467
how serious are you trying to get here? Casual dating or are you trying to get hitched?
>>16907494
Casually dating, with a view to a relationship. Getting hitched/future stuff is not on the agenda at the moment.
>>16907495
In that case, I'm especially confused by your dilemma. Literally the only advantage to Option 1 is that they would, in theory, provide a more stable (but completely sterile) marriage with less effort on your part.
If you're still just dating around, and you feel this great connection with Option 2, what the fuck are you second-guessing yourself for? Yes, if the relationship flopped, it would hurt. That's how dating works. Take the risk, you damn chicken.
>>16907384
pick number 3
How old are you op?
>>16907563
I'm 29.
>>16907578
Forgive me for being a bit rude, but how did you get this far in life without learning to take risks? How are you still somewhere where willingly settling for a boring relationship with a guy you have no romantic connection and nothing in common with seems like a good idea just because it's "Safe?"
>>16907622
You're not being rude, I'm more than happy to answer.
I am an extremely self-destructive person and have let my standard of life slip several times as a result of this. I will normally make very bad decisions but for the past few years I have actually made a lot of progress, so I'm in a very good position.
My problem was that I took too many risks and a lot of them resulted in a negative outcome, so now I am quite far the other way. I really don't want to mess my life up again.
>>16907384
Neither. Dump them both and try and find someone who is mature and secure, but that you have fun and have a connection with.
date both and the best stuff from both of them
>>16907638
Well, here's my advice then: you shouldn't stop taking risks entirely just because you've taken some that didn't turn out well in the past. Especially not if you're consciously aware of your (former?) habit of making poor decisions.
You sound like someone who's old enough and has experienced enough emotional growth to make a confident decision here. As an outsider looking in through the lens of what information you've shared in this thread, I really think that pursuing the relationship with the person who you have an exciting spark and connection with is the right choice. But only you can know that for sure.
Just remember, as Rush said, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!"
>>16907384
>No spark therefor no feeling
A relationship isn't about money anon, it's about emotion, go option 2 and you'll realise how it's so much easier.
>>16908206
Maybe so, but Option 2 is also flaky and unreliable...so it's harder in general.
