The girl i'm with is a choleric, i just keep getting yelled at for smallest shit

>>16904460
>>16904464
People with anger issues or any other emotional problems will not be able to have a healthy or successful relationship until they address and overcome those problems.

>>16904476
How does one address their temper?

I feel like i'm just avoiding her most of the time now, i just don't want to get yelled at anymore

Oh and how does one have a normal stable relationship in general, what are the necessities, do you just let the girl have it right all the time? Or do you have to be the wolf and be firm?

>>16904480
Like with any relationship, the only way is to try and have a clear, calm talk with them about it. And then it's up to them to make their half of the effort to get better.

Communication is the foundation of a relationship. People who can't control their emotions can't communicate properly, so it might even be impossible for her to do the first step of discussing it with you.

I know people don't usually like buzzwords like "abusive" or "toxic" but that's what this relationship is sounding like. You should never feel afraid of your partner or like you're walking on eggshells. That must cause an incredible amount of stress.

>>16904483
>do you just let the girl have it right all the time? Or do you have to be the wolf and be firm?

It's about balance. You need to have respect for both your partner and yourself. You can't sacrifice either for the other.

Being a good person is only one half. You need to pick a good person for a partner too. For example, you can't have a stable relationship with an unstable person (like someone with anger problems) just because you're a stable person. Good partner choice is crucial.

>>16904483
The person who is actually right is right. Any adult who throws tantrums or argues like it's a competition probably had serious family problems growing up.
You need to make allowances for period though. Anyone who feels that bad will hate everything and everybody.

>>16904498
>>16904509

So what should i do in my case? Tell her to grow up and get over her anger, so she can start having a calm conversation? It's hard because she can make a huge tantrum for just about anything, i can't even be normal next to her because i don't know when she'll blow up next. I'm not her parent to tell her such behavior is wrong and because that's her temperament, it's how she reacts spontaneously.

>>16904517
Yes, she had tough childhood, but so did i and i don't bitch because of it.

>>16904625
>Tell her to grow up and get over her anger

Wew lad don't put it like that. You need to have a calm discussion where you openly and honestly tell her how her behavior is hurting you and how you want to find a solution that makes you both happy.

If you try and that can't work, then it's time to part ways maturely.

>>16904636
Ah thanks, the stress gets the better of me :)
You're right thanks

When you think you should leave, you weigh the pros and cons, and you stay if the pros outweigh.

This thread makes me feel bad because I yelled at my bf for the first time ever this week. I apologized and said it wasn't cool of me and I should have expressed my concerns in a calm manner.

I hope he doesn't see me as neurotic/unstable.

Its tough because on the one hand I don't want him to feel like he's walking on eggshells with me... but on the other hand he speaks with no filter and a lot of his friends have said that he doesn't know when he's saying offensive stuff. In turn I am slightly more sensitive. So its a bad combo and he often says stuff that makes me uncomfortable a lot but he doesn't mean it. I hope we don't turn into a relationship where we can't stand each other.

I'm lurking this thread for more perspective on situations like this.