I don't even know why I'm asking this here.. only rude people and shitty answers but at least I get fast replies. I'm not going to tell the whole story but since there are lot's of guys here I might as well get some input.
Let's say I lived with my boyfriend for more than a year in my country where he leeched the whole time. I have a bad temper and he knows it. When it's time to leave I let him go normally but get a bit angry because he barely texts me. The reason I'm angry is because this wasn't the first time he was here and when he returned to his country he was distant again and it's like it's a different person. So I said some bad things on the text but nothing new and he knows me very well.
I'll also say something that he denies but it was always clear to me that it was like that.
I started and developed this relationship. I was always the one trying my best to make it happen, even if just for all the time spent in it and not wanting to start over.
So this time, I decide to not bother. I decide to let him talk to me.
It has been more than two months and he hasn't said shit.
I'm more pissed off than I am sad. Wasted years with this person for nothing and I didn't get any younger. He didn't delete me on fb and I still have his mother and some other relatives on it.
I feel like I don't know this person at all.
Is it over? More than 2 months without a word from him but I haven't pursued him either. So is it? If it is, why didn't he delete me or block me on fb?
I probably could have gotten him back if I went after him as always but enough is enough. Never again. Rather be alone forever. Fuck this shit. Wasted time.
And for the people who will be assholes, I'll tell you in advance to get acid on your faces.
Well you sound like a cheerful person. Not.
>Is it over? More than 2 months without a word from him but I haven't pursued him either. So is it? If it is, why didn't he delete me or block me on fb?
Yes it's over.
>implying i read all this shit
>>16903057
I just want to know if it's over or not and why he didn't say anything these 2 months. He could have broken up officially. And also why do I still have him on fb?
And I'm being like this because this site is full of assholes, especially to women so I'm being precautious. I just want many fast answers and then I'm out of here
>>16903048
> only kind of wants advice
> sounds like you already made up your mind
> insults everyone
Why are you here?
Hostile much?
Explains why your ex isn't saying anything. It's probably because he is trying to move on.
You should probably move on too
>>16903065
>I just want many fast answers and then I'm out of here
Yeah why would anyone want to help you, with this attitude? I'm out, best of luck OP.
>>16903060
Why do I still have him, his mother and other relatives on fb?
>>16903073
But he knows me. I was always myself unlike him. He leeched the whole time, he didn't spend a cent here. I did everything for him. I wasted years with this person. When he left it was on good terms, I just got angry 'cus he took 2 days to say something and then he would barely say anything and I was seeing the same movie all over again. It doesn't make sense what he did. He could have some respect after all the leeching he did here. Oh my fucking god. If this is over, I'm never getting anyone again.
>>16903048
You're one bitter bitch, fuck off, you were some idiot who he knew he could pump and dump, he leached off you because he never respected you.
Why would he care about you after the fact? Why should he, he's probably doing the same thing to someone as stupid as you.
"Eat shit and die"
- Me
>>16903092
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, you son of a whore. Why did I even bother coming for advice on this shit hole.
>>16903083
>leeched you and bummed your place
>didn't say shit to you when he needed to
>still doesn't talk to you
Sounds like a bitch nigger if you ask me. He used you. It's over. But that was 2 months ago. It's been over for 2 months, get over it.
Cut your ties. Delete him, delete his family, delete all your mutual friends. Trust me. This shit is how you get over someone.
>>16903095
You didn't speak for 2 months and you're asking us if its over. What do you think?
Why you still have him on facebook? Because nobody really cares about facebook. I'm still facebook friends with all of my exes, I just don't follow them in my news feed anymore.
I really don't know what kind of answer you are expecting here, especially with your attitude.
>>16903095
Exactly, fuck out of here you idiot.
Go to Tumblr where they actually care about your stupid fucking problems. Again, you're whining abut how he won't talk to you when he clearly never did. You were is ATM fuck hole and you were too vapid and absorbed to realize it.
Go out into the world, stop fucking scum bags, come back when a decent person has fucked the cunt right out of your empty head.
>>16903048
Move on from him and move on from this site
>>16903099
We had life plans. This relationship lasted years. I thought he was the one. But just answer me this question. Why didn't he delete/block me on fb? I don't understand.
What a waste. I really tried my best to make it happen.
>>16903111
Because you didn't message him so there was no reason to block you.
>>16903095
Looks like you have gotten good advice. I suggest you follow it, and never come here again with that attitude bullshit.
>>16903111
He simply didn't care enough to block or unfriend you.
>>16903108
Lol, I don't frequent this site. It's horrible, always the same shit and full of assholes. I just decided to try get some advice here because of the fast replies. I'll leave soon.
>>16903104
Some people that replied to me in this thread explain my attitude. Also, it's not always as you say. I know people who unfriended and even blocked their exes.
>>16903107
You should get your fingers amputated. All you type is shit. Get the fuck out of my thread.
>>16903048
Was in the same shituation so I called that girl and said: do you still love me and do you want to do somthing to fix this becaus i'm tired of mantaining this relationship all by my self. Whis you good luck
>>16903112
I see. I'm going somewhere else for advice. I'm getting pissed off at some people here already.
>>16903117
Hilarious.
Well I don't want to stay here any longer and the thread will be filled with litter. It was a bad idea to come here in the first place. Thanks for the few decent answers, bye.
And to the assholes in the thread, die of brain cancer.
>>16903123
Just saw this answer and you are in a very similar situation so before I leave, tell me : did she reply to you? What did she say? And by the way, I'M NOT talking to him anymore lol. Never again am I pursuing anyone in my life. I'm fine being single forever. Better than being with a shitty person.
>>16903126
Hilarious? That's the truth. He doesn't care about you.
Well. I tried.
>>16903118
>Her thread
>any of us own anything here
Here is some real advice then, genuine tip.
STOP CARING ABOUT HIM.
He doesn't love you. It could be for any reason, but that isn't the point. You're giving your limited time and thought to someone without the fucking care to remove you from fb. Its not out of regret or love you aren't blocked. Its out of apathy, I suggest you bury the past because that's all it is, the past.
Events that have happened but no longer truly matter.
No get the fuck out of here and become a suicide statistic.
>>16903048
>only looks for advice that fit her own beliefs so she can feel like she was right
>attention seeking
>was defensive from the start
There's no helping you if you don't want to listen to anyone else.
Nothing else we can do
>>16903048 hi op. So i think the answer is within your life and his. Analyze your life, how you live, your finances, your education, and then analyze his, and what are his ambitions. Maybe he didn't thought of you as "marriage material" and was just spending his vacation time comfortably without strings and without letting you know the real situation.
I'm assuming he didn't care for you and was a douche about it. I'm truly sorry for you and hope you get someone worthy of true companionship.
>>16903137
A bit difficult to stop caring about someone I loved and lived nearly 24/7 for more than a year. I think it's impossible for someone who spent so much time with me to be apathetic. It's just crazy.
Also, unlike many people here I don't fall out of love like someone changes shirt neither do I fall in love in a snap of a finger.
If I ever kill myself, it won't be because of a person lol.
>>16903141
attention seeking? Wtf are you on about? Yes I was defensive because this site is full of assholes as you can see in the thread. And what beliefs? I just want opinions, polite opinions if possible. I am listening. Tell me your opinion.
>>16903153
And the assholes on this thread only answered to your assholeness, beware. They still helped you, i see.
Maybe if you didn't insult us from the beginning there would be less "assholes".
>>16903152
Thank you for your compassionate reply. Someone decent in here, I'm shocked.
I think it might be that, he didn't think of me as a keeper. And it wasn't vacation time. He sacrificed some stuff in his life to be here which is why I don't believe he is apathetic. But I don't want to tell all the details so yeah.
It's just so complicated. I still love him and we have been together for so long so I just want to talk to him and solve this but at the same time, what will he think if he sees me crawling after him once again? It was a waste but I won't pursue him ever again. I am done with relationships.
>>16903153
He was apathetic, you can live with someone for years and not really love them. Especially if they're your meal ticket, people like free things.
I didn't say it would be easy, you just aren't left with alternatives. What is he doing right now? Probably fucking some other chick the same way he fucked you. Literally and metaphorically.
>>16903132
She said she doesn't know so I just dumpt her. 8 year later we fucking again. Why are you asking for advice if you made up your mind to be a total bitch?
>>16903162
No OP, you must return to him. Your heart knows better than you, and deep down you know your happiness is just with him.
Sure he misbehaved, but we all make mistakes in life. Do not close your heart OP. You will miss out on so much.
Like you said, he sacrificed something for you, which means he did feel something for you. And it won't be crawling back to him. Just reach out to him and make clear that your feelings are still strong, but stand your ground and make it clear that your love this time won't cloud your judgment like last itme.
Trust me OP you will be happy eventually, and it will be with him
Honestly, he just used you to fuck. That's why he hasn't cut contact with you, so you come crawling back and he gets some more action. I have done this with an ex gf of mine, but it was as mutual thing unlike your case.
>>16903173
Best answer in this entire thread.
>>16903162
I think you got it wrong there. You should start a conversation and just tell what you thought "I thought we were a serious couple, but you have made it clear that we are not. So when you want to come back to *your country* don't feel the need to stop at my house and I wish you good luck".
That's the best line you can say to him. Show him superiority and move on.. You don't crawl back, you move on and head up high.
>>16903153
Are you kidding? guys do shit like that all of the time, I've personally done that to 2 women that were ugly as fuck in the past, and seen this same thing happen to my sister 5 times.
You tell them what they want to hear, kiss them, fuck them and they let you live with them for free, because you're all the same.
You don't love yourself enough to face the reality that you're being used and you make it easy for a man to sit on you for years and years with no consequences.
You think us sitting there while you yell at us or responding back is us caring, we know you won't kick us out and you'll just let us do whatever, so why would we argue? we give you an excuse and you sigh and just forget about it.
Look at yourself this man stopped talking to you for TWO months and you're questioning whether he was apathetic throughout your relationship?
Of course he was. You know he was, you just refuse to look at the reality of the situation.
He's off getting his dick wet you're being laughed at by anons over the internet.
Women and men like you are fucking idiots.
>>16903167
8 years later? That's crazy. If this is over I'm not returning to him. I don't come back to people who have hurt me.
>>16903173
I don't know. He was and is the love of my life and I don't want to get someone else. I don't want to be vulnerable again. I think I'll wait another month before I do anything. I'm just so frustrated. But my mind tells me to not do it. Let's see his point of view. If he really wanted me, he would go after me, right? If he doesn't, I'm not worth it. I follow my heart but I also think with my brain.
>>16903183
Damn nigga preach
>>16903189
Why creazy? We both needed a rebound. Also why should I keep hating her? I moved on and she did after 8 years you not the same person anymore. Also it was really nice to see what she learned. I told her that she sucked a lot of dickes the last 8 years bc her bj skillz are way better
>>16903175
I'll give some more details because some people are giving strange answers here.
He didn't use me to fuck. Both of us don't care much about sex. He isn't like you and some guys here. He also isn't a ladies man or something like that. He is not experienced.
Going back to the sacrifice, obviously if he spent more than a year with me he had to interrupt some stuff in his life. I can't give all details as that would be too much exposure but I'm dropping a lot of hints here.
I was also his first girlfriend, he isn't like some guys here that already had several women and view things differently. Hope I clarified.
>>16903183
Nice moves.
keep it up.
Proud of you.
>>16903199
I don't care about sex. I'm not interested in dicks. And he wasn't a sex animal either.
We weren't together because of sex. It was different. I see relationships as someone to love, not someone to fuck.
I think I'm different from most people here. I won't get accurate answers.
>>16903189
Or maybe he is so scared of your reaction. Maybe he has the same feelings towards you and is waiting for you to make the first move. Maybe he is spending sleepless night waiting for your call
You know happiness is with him and him only in your heart. Deep down you know there is nobody you want more.
Let's put it in some other way. Some effort now will reward you with happiness later for the rest of your life. Don't throw away so much you hae built for nothing.
Start calling him. Even in the middle of the night, even 60 times per day. Start following him whenever he leaves house. He must know you will not give up on him, on your relationship, on your mutual happiness for so little.
Trust me OP, you are not crazy in the slightest. You are just a woman in love. Do what you must to save the relationship. Save yourself and save him from himself. What could go wrong?
And remember, disregard the rude people here. He didn't use you to fuck. He made love to you. That's a beautiful thing
>>16903182
I didn't see your answer, sorry. If I am to move on, I will keep silent. He hasn't said anything to me, so why should I? If he really is apathetic towards me which would be really psychopathic after all the time spent together, then he only deserves my silence.
>>16903206
Stop manipulating the girl, you fools. He's over! He doesn't want you! Believe the signs!!
>>16903205
You were together because he needed a place to crash and you never told him to leave.
Did he say anything like "I love you babe", "I don't know what I'd do without you" or "You really make me feel special" just out of nowhere in the beginning and then stop doing it after time went on?
>>16903200
You drove him away, seriously, I know it sounds shitty but its true, You seem decent, but naggy and emotional as fuck. He sacrificed things because he probably felt it was the right thing to do, but eventually he was jaded and you he left.
Here's a tip about most/all of us men, we love you but we don't like you. What did you do that made him truly happy besides sex, what did you offer besides physical things that made him stick around?
Maybe he is super introverted and thinks that he's a burden on other people, so he never goes out of his way to get into contact with them.
Who knows?
>>16903095
You're getting good replies I bet you bought the tickets for him if not still free sex holiday
Or he found out you smell bad and has vowed never to ldr again (happens to all of them)
Either way he's gone home and doesn't care that much or feels to big to go to you first so it's sort of a standoff either way move on
He and his mother are still your friends on Facebook cause you haven't unfriended them but also because his mother doesn't know yous aren't talking and he's waiting for you to crawl back and suck dick and be ashamed
Block on all most infuriating and opposite of what he expects gl
>>16903205
You don't care about sex? Don't lie to us or yourself. If you don't care about sex you have no porpes for this planet you know that right? But maybe it's better for this world if you don't reproduce
>>16903212
Shut the fuck up you jealous cunt, he talks sense
>>16903206
This guy gets it, he really loves you op you should def call him again. You just need to try harder for the both of you.
>>16903206
>>16903173
Look at these smug ass pictures
6/10 they give it away friendo
>>16903206
Calling him 60 times per day? Now I see that you are trolling. The stupid pictures were already enough proof. I'm done replying to you.
>>16903215
He didn't need a place to crash! He interrupted his life to be here! I said this several times already! Being here was more of a burden than a benefit!!!!!!!!!!!
>>16903217
He wasn't like most men. I don't go for most men. I loved him and I only had eyes for him and accepted him as he was.
>>16903222
I don't care about it nor do I use it to get men or make them stay.
Everyone is seeing my relationship as something very animalistic and disregarding what I said about him interrupting his life to be here. He didn't go on a vacation. I give up..
>>16903246
>He interrupted his life to leech out
The delusion is palpable
>>16903246
Shitposter. WRAP IT UP BOYS IT'S AN EBIN RUSE.
>>16903218
Who knows indeed. And after reading many replies on this thread I want to be single more and more.
>>16903246
What did you do that was enjoyable, why would he like you? Seriously besides physical stuff what did you do that no one else could?
>>16903251
Then be single you stupid cunt, honestly after reading your posts I'm wishing your mother drank the load you were with.
You sound like a massive ball skewering bitch.
I've had enough. Too much trolling and too much stupidity overall. Yet I still went here, don't know what I was thinking. Thanks to the people who actually gave truthful decent answers. I'm going to seek advice elsewhere. Bye.
>>16903262
Leave already you twat.
>>16903262
Good riddance, we did it boys!
Seriously though, never come back here. You are hated and despised you vapid idiot.
>>16903262
>>16903262
>third post saying "im done here bye"
>still fucking here
God, no wonder why he left
Hi Op.
I think the issue here is that you loved this person so much. You wanted him to care as much as you did and wanted him to understand/know that your bitch persona is actually a veil for all of your insecurities and frustrations.
I think that yes, he had enough too and yes, I think he wanted it all and to give you nothing back. I also think that he was toxic for you and the person you are.
A partner should calm you and bring out your best, they should understand you without you having to explain every single thing to them. This man was and is not for you.
I read this the other day and it made me evaluate a lot of things....
...Continued...
Smoke a bowl.
Hi Op Pt2:
This was my wake up call. I hope it hits you as hard as it hit me
I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.
I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place. I loved her wildly.
Unfortunately, as happens with many young couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship. Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.
As the months passed and that thought reverberated more and more through my head, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little less.
I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.
Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for: her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.
Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.
I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behavior. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.
Hi Op Pt3
Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over five years.
She fought hard to make me choose her. That’s a fool’s task.
You can't make someone choose you, even when they might love you.
To be fair, she didn’t fully choose me, either. The rage-fueled invective she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.
I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she didn’t feel safe with me. She felt me not choosing her every day, in my words and my actions, and she was afraid I would abandon her.
Actually, I did abandon her. By not fully choosing her every day for five years, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.
Like a precious fragrant flower I brought proudly into my home but then failed to water, I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.
I’ll never not choose another woman I love again.
It’s torture for everyone.
If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question: “Why am I choosing my partner today?”
If you can’t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heart’s truth, “I just do.”
If you can’t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have disconnected days.
But if too many days go by and you just can’t connect with why you’re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. Create the opening for another human being to show up and see them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.
Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day.
You do, too.
Choose wisely
>>16903351
>>16903360
>>16903364
We scared her off threads over. Next time make a 3 sentence post no one wants to read all that shit.
>>16903065
>And also why do I still have him on fb?
Because YOU didn't block him. If I was you I would.
>>16903442
Because you guys are ridiculous and give terrible advice. I read it and I agree that op should read that and take what she can from it.
>>16903092
>you were some idiot who he knew he could pump and dump, he leached off you because he never respected you.
This. OP got blinded by love and missed all the warning signs.
>>16903068
Sounds like typical /adv/ to me
>>16905188
It's a sad board
>>16905240
For you
