So I'm trying to help my friend to make a choice between his happiness and what makes sense on paper, but honestly, I'm at a loss myself.
Without going into specifics about his situation, how do I tell him that happiness really is important, and that sometimes what makes sense on paper isn't going to make you happy. I don't know, maybe I *do* need to get specific to explain it, but just wondering what you guys think.
>>16892455
being specific with him is the only he will see. deconstruct what makes sense on paper and show why its bad.
>>16892455
What makes sense on paper is what I was brought up to think as correct, but I am suicidal and my progress in overcoming my depression fluctuates. Currently I am stuck in a valley.
Explain to him that he needs to follow what makes him happy, because failing to do so could end in life ruination. He might not listen to you. But at least you will have tried.
If I followed the path to happiness instead of what's expected of me, I would have switched to a different major and been graduated and normal like my peers by now. But I wouldn't have meet two great people in my life. I'm still not happy though. I don't know where I'm going with this. I need to get my shit together.
>>16892487
>im suicidal
then how are you alive? i think you mean you are sad. not suicidal. big difference.
>>16892481
Well, what makes sense on paper isn't BAD, it just isn't going to make him happy. I think.
>>16892487
I guess he probably doesn't visit /adv/ on 4chan, so I suppose if I go into detail, it won't hurt. He is debating to move away from home to move in with me and some of our other friends, but it'd place him about 20 minutes away from work and school, where he's just a short drive from there now. On paper, saving money, living at home for free, and living closer to school and work makes sense, but he was really excited about finally moving out and moving in with us. He even told me one time that he's really lonely at home, and that he really needs to get out.
I just want my buddy to be as happy as possible. Plus, I was looking forward to all of us sharing a house because my own therapist said that's something I ought to do, so I want to go through with it.
>>16892562
>happy as possible. Plus, I was looking
ask him to move in and throw out that he can always move out and back to his parents if he doesnt like it. but if he simply doesnt have the funds then he doesnt have the funds
>>16892580
I don't think finances are the issue, just location. I want to be like "look man, you gotta make you happy - if you're happy at home, stay there, but if you're not, you gotta go" but that's really difficult and I don't know if it's too... invasive? Like, it's none of my business.
>>16892637
throw it out there once. offer him thathe can always go back home if it doesnt work. nothing to lose, a world to gain.
>>16892455
>filename
Looks more like tentacle porn v heart.
>>16892455
It's pretty easy senpai. You always do what makes you happiest because if you don't, and you pin your future hopes on shit and it goes wrong, you're fucked.
The other big hole in planning your happiness for the future and banking on it is you probably will not want the same thing in X years time. You'll have changed. And if that happens while you're still slaving away then you'll suddenly find yourself adrift and prone to self destruction.
Never not be happy. Never not live for today. By all means have plans, but never lock yourself in.
>>16892557
I attempted suicide twice and an recovering. Is that not suicidal?
>>16892562
>>16892637
does he have a car? 20 minutes is not that long of a commute. and honestly, everybody could save money by living with their folks, but independence is pretty important too. on the other hand, if he's really excited about the idea of saving up a lot of money and having more financial security than his peers...honestly I can't see how that's a bad thing.
>>16892637
>>16892580
that sounds like a good way to go. don't pressure him too much though, just ask him what's more important, money or freedom from his parents? also how much money is he saving per month by living at home? and remind him that he can still move back home if he finds sharing an apartment and commuting to be eating into his financial goals too much.
Anything that makes sense can be put on paper.
>>16892820
I just really don't want to seem like I'm prying. But, to be honest, it would be rad to live with like three of my best friends, so it's like a selfish reason, too. I just don't want that to factor into my conversation.
Like I mentioned, I just want him to be happy, and he's actually told me his current situation isn't making him happy in an emotional sense, but, like, in every other sense he's damn well off.
Still open to more conversation.
