How do I reconcile the fact that Im getting attention from girls Im not interested in, while lusting after girls I find attractive?
I dont wanna sound like a spoilt little bitch and kiss a gift horse in the mouth, I mean sure getting attention and being wanted is better than being lonely.
But I am still conflicted. Got a girl from work that wants me to come out with her on friday, offered to go round hers and she cooks me dinner on sunday (as soon as her arm heals, in a cast at the moment).
Shes very nice, and I've just been kind to her because I like being chivalrous and she needed help doing stuff being one armed at all.
I feel like I could see us hooking up in the near future if I dont actively stop hanging out and being nice with her.
But Im conflicted.
Stuck between the prospect of sex (havent gotten laid in 4months) and just having some fun with someone, vs the reservations about whether Im actually interested in taking things somewhere with this girl
Meanwhile there are nice, absolutely gorgeous 10/10 girls in my life that arent an option to pursue, and the fact that I dont feel the same way about these girls giving me attention makes me feel guilty
I'm not in quite the same boat, but a similar one. I recently started working mostly with women, it ends up I'm "quite the catch". I don't want a fling, it is pointless. I certainly don't want a relationship, the reason why I am such a great guy is because I put as much or more into personal development as I do sleeping or working. I like how I'm growing as a person and I don't want to lose time from pursuing that. I've tried politely explaining it, but that has only worsened the situation as it brings about stronger actions under the misbelief that I'm playing hard to get.
>>16860685
This is the issue. If you're an attractive guy women will come to you. And if you're not interested in doing anything suddenly you're a bad guy
So you just try to focus on you and bettering yourself. And more women flock to you and makes it even worse
>>16860737
Yep, that sums it up pretty well. How do I fix it? I've been seriously debating on lying and saying I'm taken, but I really don't like the prospect of being dishonest and it seems like it could easily backfire.
>>16860760
I have no idea homie. This is the trap Im finding myself in (Shit This conversation really does sound like a circle jerk of 'LOOK HOW ATTRACTIVE WE ARE')
Im finding myself rationalising that we have to take the natural path of society, and just end up giving the girls what they want. Stay truthful obviously, but just date/sleep with the girls without committing. And see what happens.
>>16860685
Depends, do you flirt/lead them on/ message them whist drunk?
>>16860789
Ha ha, I'm just glad there is some one else going through this. I tried discussing the matter with friends and the responses consisted of either that I'm an idiot who could be rolling in tail or that I'm an asshole. I'm really afraid of taking the whole normative route, but true, it is the next adventure I guess.
>>16860806
>Adventure
Thats the way I look at it. Cant avoid drama forever.
At least its a fun story. And who knows what'll happen
>>16860797
I don't know if I flirt, tbqh, and I don't drink. I never really had the opportunity in life to learn the whole flirting/courtship thing. Don't get me wrong, I've been in relationships before, but they just consisted of the woman taking the lead and me going along confused the whole way.
>>16860817
If you're not encoraging it in any way, it's not your fault. You're obviously obliviously charismatic.
Take the compliment, be honest and be yourself mate.
>>16860811
>>16860820
Thank you both for the advice! I've got two options that I can see now and I understand the situation a bit better. It is nice to be a bit less in the dark.
