>>16857936
Respect her faith. She's a devout Catholic and if you care about her more than you can about getting your balls drained, you'll wait with her.

But let's be honest- you want a shag more than you're willing to wait for it. She's not right for you, find someone else. She'll realise you're an arse and find someone suitable for her, who CAN wait.

>>16857936
You pretty much answered it yourself. She's most likely not going to have sex before marriage, and even after that, it's a high risk that she'll barely want to have it. Since you don't subscribe to that 0.1% minority who agrees with her, I just don't see a happy future with her.

If she doesn't come around, then there really isn't much choice but to find someone who is more compatible with you. Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. If she's essentially denying you sex, that's just going to result in misery for you. Since it's a new relationship, maybe wait a while to see if she comes around.

My last gf was Catholic, but at least she was a reasonable one. She had no problem having sex and using contraception.

>>16857947
Underaged bitter virgin get out.

Honestly, stick with the loyal girl. I know sex seems really important now, but over time the qualities she has are much more valuable and you won't find them as easily when you are older.

AYY EAT BIG TO GET BIG
fuck the girl you can fuck

Lol maybe try not being religious you fucking retard, it's all such bullshit, science has clearly proven te bible wrong time and time again, and you don't need a religion to have a moral compass and know what's right and wrong, you're a good person just for the sake of being a good person, and that way you don't have to keep getting blue balled because you're gullible enough to believe in some book written thousands of years ago, by men, shown to have many errors. Also, if there's a god he wouldn't be such a spiteful evil piece of shit, hypothetically, if I'm a 100% good person, donate to charity, never do anything wrong in my life, but I have premarital sex, and don't believe in this one God, out of all the religions, and the hundreds throughout time which are now considered fantasy, I'm going to suffer for eternity? Yeah, okay, sure, that makes sense. No the universe is so fucking huge and baffling, science shows us this now, there's surely more to life than we could ever possibly understand.

>>16857966
What is it with all the relationshipless virgins suddenly trying to give advice on sex and relationships?

>>16857947
>>16857947
I am respecting her faith, asshole. It's not like I'm fucking other girls or even pressuring her. As of current, I am waiting. I even made an agreement with her that if she changed her mind in the heat of the moment I wouldn't go through with it, out of respect for her boundaries. I will only fuck her if it's pre-meditated on both of our parts.

My issue right now is that she isn't really being honest herself. She's humping til she cums and being sexually satisfied while I'm not. It's making me way more horny than I've ever been. It's not fair that she can get off, but not me. Despite her claiming that neither of us can.

Here's the trick though. She's not from my country, and if we were to be together, we'd necessarily have to get married. I'm not saying I'd marry her just to get sex, but that marriage is automatically related to us going out in general because her visa ends in 2 months.

I guess I agree on how potentially toxic that would be, especially if kids got added in to the equation.

>>16857956
Like I said, she's clearly a horndog. Even kissing her gets her panting and her heart rate rises up. Just recently it seemed she was on the verge of saying "FUCK ME" basically, but I'm also 100% that would end up with her feeling horrible and probably even breaking up.

The thing is, everything else is almost fantasy perfect. She might be trying hard to overcompensate, and it is a new relationship... but I can't bring myself to break it off just yet simply because of the lack of sex. There IS the issue that she just might not be sexually compatible for me even if she did want to fuck. I have no way of knowing because she's never trying to turn ME on beyond just making out. I have very little experience in this regard.

sorry couldn't post sooner Adblock was preventing me from replying on this board

>>16857977
Cute, believe it or not there are people posting here in their 30s and some of us would rather you guys not make the same mistakes we did when we were shithead kids. Women with morals like that tend to marry earlier, they also tend to be less likely to divorce. I am sorry you find that advice counter intuitive, but when you are older it matter less about how many people you have fucked and more about who in your life still cares about you.

>>16857966
Are you saying this from experience? I do believe you, but we're talking about a potential lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction here.

>>16857973
I'm culturally Catholic. For most Catholicism is a way of life, not literally believing in some spaghetti monster. Even she admits her faith might be wrong. I wouldn't be with her if she was a blind believer.

>>16858021
Saying this from the perspective of a 32 year-old who fucked up a lot of relationships when I was younger and have observed which of my friends ended up being happier as adults. Look I suggest giving the relationship some more time, at least stick around to see if she is actually as good as you think she might be.

>>16858013
Funny you should pull the age card, since I'm almost certainly older than you. Your "advice" was that of a 15 year old. And generally the "you're a kid, I'm older and more mature" retort, like you're doing now, it done by those who are in their early 20s at most.

You may claim to be in your 30s, but the things you say sound like they're coming from someone with very little life experience. That, or you are one of those people in a sexless relationship and are happy about it. OP is at risk of ending up in a relationship that will make him unhappy at the rest of his life, while all you can do is throw "lol sex is for teenagers" ? Not very mature of you. Or thoughtful.

>>16858034
That's what I'm doing, it's just that we don't have much time. She's going back to her country in 6 weeks time, and if we wanted to continue we'd basically have to get co-sponsored and likely married early.

But going from a perma-single to possibly married with a couple of years with no other experience? Fuck.

Well, I have had other experiences, like I tried to just fuck around but I didn't really enjoy it.

I'm mostly worried I don't like her enough to go through with this. But as someone once said.. it's not that feeling of butterflies in the stomach that makes a good partner. She's a great partner so far.. ughghghg I'm lost.

>>16858043
OP here, your flaming aside.. what counter-arguments do you have?

Have you had a great sex life with a loyal wife and mother to your kids without all this bullcrap? I'm curious.

>>16858064
You said you're known her for a few months... that's not a long enough time to consider marriage. You haven't seen her ugly sides yet. There's no other way for you to keep her dating for a while at least?

>>16858072
I'm not the best to say about marriage since I've never been married. Plenty of my friends are, of course. The main I'd say is that marriage isn't something that you should rush into. And equally important, being married won't change your relationship a huge deal. If you were happy as bf/gf, you're probably going to continue being happy once married. If you are dating, have doubts each other, are not sure if you can have a happy future together (and yes, sex is part of this whole package), then marriage magically won't suddenly fix everything and make things better.

That's the main risk of jumping into marriage like this, especially so quickly. Thinking "Oh, we'll do that sex thing once we're married. Maybe. And all our other issues too, we'll sort out once married." isn't likely to lead to a happy marriage.

>>16857947
This.

It's also fucking dumb to wait until marriage. Like damn, never do that shit for anyone. Sex is an entire dimension of a relationship. Don't wait to explore it and test compatibility until AFTER getting married. Plus devout religiousness usually leads to people getting married too soon and to the wrong person because they're horny. OP pls. Respect her and yourself. Allow her to make dumb decisions independent of you.

>>16858043
Funny you are the one hurling insults at people because they have a different perspective than you. Nowhere did I say sex was for teenagers, I was impling other things are more important in relationships. I have no issue with you disagreeing with my point, but provide counter arguments rather than ad hominem.

>>16857936
Respect her decision. Do not put pressure on her.

Maybe she'll realize your advances have come to a halt and will give in and want to fuck just to keep you happy.

Also, birth control sucks dude. It ruins women. Hormonal birth control is only intended for short term use. Birth control can likely destroy your girlfriend's sex drive, sometimes permanently. Trust me, you do not want a woman who uses hormonal birth control. It removes their ability to decide if a partner is a good match, and when they drop it later on, sometimes they realize they never liked you in the first place, and just wanted sex.

Just take it easy with your gf. If you're a horndog, go out and fuck that other girl if it feels morally okay to you, just don't tell your gf unless you need to.

Sometimes cheating can save sexless relationships. Most of the time it destroys relationships, but not in all cases.

Good luck m8

>>16858076
That's 100% true. I have 6 weeks until her visa runs out. After that I'd have to get her co-sponsored. I could move to her country which is kind of 3rd world but alright, or have her move here, assuming I get a career (graduating uni in 6 weeks as well)

It would be a huge financial burden. It would basically end up with me living in a shitty country putting a real career on hold or her coming up here and living in my house unable to get a job or do anything productive until the government lets her.

That's the reality of the situation.

On the other hand, I do have this feeling that most women are kinda shit and have no bearing on what it means to get married and have children. I'm at odds with my own culture and have trouble having relationships here.. in general I guess I have low-confidence in landing many good relationships in my life. That might be my biggest problem.

>christcucks

HAHAHAHA

>>16858021
Well it's a step in the right direction I suppose even though "might be wrong", should be "probably is wrong", but that's just the thing actually, why torture yourself and not just enjoy your life for something that's probably wrong? You can still have high moral standards and live a similar way of life, dropping religion doesn't all of a sudden make you a sleazy scumbag lol, you should consider talking to her about this, or at least try to convince her that holding out and not enjoying life for what it is, is pointless, and that she can still be a catholic and have sex.

I'm gonna have to agree with the other person, sexual comparability is a HUGE factor in how well a relationship will work, couples who have sex are just closer and happier, and while she sounds like good gf material otherwise, if she isn't willing to satisfy your urges, it's only a matter of time before you begin to seek elsewhere to satisfy them. There's no reason to hold out on enjoying life so long as you use protection and you fully understand that.

>>16858091
"No sex until marriage" in a pretty huge red flag, and it's warning sign of other things. She even said she doesn't believe in contraception AFTER marriage.

This isn't about sex. It's about a whole bunch of other things which could go seriously wrong.

>>16858098
Why not make it long distance for a while, until both of you figure out what you want to do? You can still skype etc.

Inb4 LDR is not a real relationship, in this case it doesn't make a difference because they're not having sex anyway.

>>16858110
I don't think you understand how un-religious I am. I guess I did say I'm Catholic but I meant strictly culturally. I don't go to church. I certainly don't believe that Jesus was anything more special than Gandhi.

I want to say we are sexually compatible at least. Because as of now we spend a lot of time rolling around in bed and my dick is basically diamonds the whole time. But yeah, that's it. And I'm much more curious than that.

>>16858113
>She even said she doesn't believe in contraception AFTER marriage

at the end of the day this will probably make me break up with her save if she starts fugging. I mean that is totally insane. Honestly when I'm by myself I'm always thinking, damn I gotta break up with her when she leaves. When I'm with her it's different. Really weird.

>>16858119
Not an option. I will not do LDRs. We have the power to be together if need be. There is no need for LDRs.

>>16857936
>I'm 22 and just got my first gf this weekend. She's hot, loyal, smart, but she's ultra catholic. Doesn't wanna have sex. Thought she'd come around but she really isn't.
dude you guys have been dating for, like, a day. some catholics will really stick to their guns and wait til marriage. some will not. you haven't dated her long enough to know which she is. and unless she's had a lot of boyfriends, she probably doesn't know which she is either.

if you really like her, give it a month or two and see what happens. make out and shit, but don't pressure her to go further. just be patient and let things unfold as they do. relationships don't survive too well unless both parties are willing to be patient with each other anyway. so you may as well get some practice in now.

>Maybe if she was my 3rd or 4th gf I would have married her but I can't imagine just fucking one woman for my entire life. Let alone one who may not sexually satisfy me.
why are you worrying about marriage already? you're putting the cart before the horse. I'm sure marriage is probably your ultimate goal, as it is for many people. but very very few people end up marrying their first SO. so don't worry about marriage shit right now. just focus on having a good time with her and enjoying each other's company. the sex thing may sort itself out in time. you might end up awaking the inner beast in her.

but if a few months go by and you still feel like you're kissing a fridge and can't take it anymore, break up with her. it'll hurt, but unless you're deliberately being retarded, you'll have learned something from it. then your next relationship will be more successful.

sex can definitely be a dealbreaker, but half of sex's deal-breaker-ness depends on whether you decide to make it an issue or not. so if you like this girl and enjoy being with her, try not to make it too big an issue.

>>16857966

> Sex is the most important thing in the world when you aren't getting it

> Sex is the least important thing in the world when it is easily had.

The cruel joke of human sexuality.

>>16858012

Think about your future. If you stick with her now then you are essentially committing to marrying her. If you marry her she probably wont use contraception so she will either have many many babies you have to help take care of or sex will slowly get less and less common in your life.

I don't know man, when I was young I would have stayed with her, but being stuck in a marriage in my 30s where we almost never have sex... I have to say friend... getting married is the stupidest thing I have ever done to throw away any happiness in my life.

>>16858168
Most solid advice in this thread. I guess last night was pretty intense and I felt a little panicked. Never had that much intimacy.

I think it's to wrap up the thread lol.

>>16858191
glad to be of help OP, good luck!

>>16858190
You're stuck in a sexless marriage? Why are you still together?

>>16858147
Well I wouldn't really consider that "sexually compatible" just because she can get you hard, I would hope she could do that at the very least, but the thing is, is you are largely incompatible because you aren't actually able to have sex with her, when I think of sexually compatible, I think when you're both happy with your sex life together. You don't sound happy, because you're not having it at all, and you haven't even been together long so I can only assume it's going to get worse the longer you wait and Hornier you get, if you are non religious like you say then you understand there is no reason to be holding out like I said, and when you've been getting blue balled and haven't been laid in a year and Megan down the street is flirting and ready to suck your cock dry and let you do whatever the fuck you want, I'm imagining you'll probably do what any sensible guy would.

Sit down with her and talk about it, lay down the law, like if she can't do anything for you, it's just not gonna work, you don't just want it, you need it, you're a regular sensible male with testosterone, who has the NEED, not want, to spread his seed, (or at least make your body think it is by cumming) due to evolution and survival of the fittest.

I suppose I could be wrong, you *could* stay with her and she could prove to be worth it in other ways as the guy before said, and if that's what you want to try and go for more power to Ya, but I just don't see it, I think it's highly unlikely it would work out, or that you wouldn't cheat. I mean no sex even after marriage is just a whole new level of insane as if no sex before wasn't bad enough. Just think about it, you'll never have sex again in you're entire life, or at least a very large portion of your life, and if you don't plan on being with her the rest of your life or at least a very long time what is even the point of trying to be in a serious committed relationship? Just my two cents though

>>16858216

> Guilt
> Depression
> Being overly comfortable with the status quo
> Not wanting to lose all my stuff in a divorce
> Wanting to be with my son 7 days a week
> Wanting him to grow up in a stable family home
> Still love my wife and want the best for her for some reason
> Wife has some medical conditions that will make her life shit if I leave
> Porn keeps me from going insane
> I am too scared

I can keep going?

>>16858216
because he probably has this mentality in his own relationship too:
>If you stick with her now then you are essentially committing to marrying her
which is like saying "if I get on this street it will take me here, which will take me to the interstate, which will take me to this other interstate which will take me all the way to nevada. fuck, I guess I better start looking for places in nevada" instead of realising that there are exits every few miles and you can get off the damn road anytime it's not taking you where you want to go anymore.

>>16858238
and before someone else does, I might as well point out that yes, I'm aware there are a lot of places where it's many miles to the next exit or you may have reasons for not turning off when you could. like >>16858233

sometimes you end up with a bunch of shit choices to choose from. I have medical conditions and am married to someone who also has conditions, so yeah it's a hard choice sometimes.

>>16858250
>>16858233

Yeah I just play the cards I was dealt. I fucked up but am trying to make the most of it and be a good husband and dad.

>>16858233
>Watches porn

cmon dude, that's high school shit.

If you really want your woman to get her sex drive back, here's what you do:

>If she's on hormonal birth control, get her to drop it. It's a sex drive destroyer.

>If she eats shitty and doesn't exercise, get her to do the opposite.

>Stop making sexual advances unless she is giving you the signal. Do not put any pressure on her to have sex whatsoever. After a few times of doing this when you would usually make an advance, she will wonder where your sex drive went and start to get aroused.

>Work out, wear good clothes, and smell good all the time.

>Stop looking at porn and masturbating. Girls can sense your low testosterone.

>Start doing things away from her. Even using your phone in the same room as her where she can't see who you are texting can make her mind race with thoughts of "is he interested in somebody else?" Every time I do this, my gf asks me to come onto the bed with her.


It may take a while, but trust me, it works. The best way to get your partner back in the mood is to let her come to you, and go for the kill shot when it is within reach.

>>16858283


Forgot to mention why porn is bad for marriage.

It kills love. It makes you view sex at the same level as cuddling and watching a movie, when in reality it is far different.

Sex is a form of communication, which requires communication.

Talk to your partner about how you can make her feel more comfortable and what she wants out of you as a lover. Communicate that you don't want to have sex because you like her body, but because you want to feel the emotions that you experience in her embrace. Communication is key.

Also watching porn makes you view your partner with less esteem, and makes you upset that she's not waking you up by deepthroating you and letting you creampie her on her lunch breaks.

cut out the porn cold turkey, and you will have no choice but to dedicate yourself to winning back your partner's love.

good luck m8

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>>16858283

>If she's on hormonal birth control, get her to drop it. It's a sex drive destroyer.

No birth control.

>If she eats shitty and doesn't exercise, get her to do the opposite.

She exercises daily and we eat nothing with processed sugar. Try again.

>Stop making sexual advances unless she is giving you the signal.

I gave up years ago. She told me this was killing her sex drive so I stopped advancing and signals still only came once every couple months.

> Do not put any pressure on her to have sex whatsoever. After a few times of doing this when you would usually make an advance, she will wonder where your sex drive went and start to get aroused.

See above. She believed this to be true so we tried it and it didn't work.

>Work out, wear good clothes, and smell good all the time.

I am in better shape than I have ever been in my life. I look pretty good in the mirror naked.

>Stop looking at porn and masturbating. Girls can sense your low testosterone.

I get rage filled when I don't masturbate. I do masturbate less but will keep this in mind.

>Start doing things away from her. Even using your phone in the same room as her where she can't see who you are texting can make her mind race with thoughts of "is he interested in somebody else?" Every time I do this, my gf asks me to come onto the bed with her.

Ummm I have tried tactics to make her "suspect" and it just emotionally upsets her and makes her cry. No change in lack of sex drive.

>>16858233
OP, don't let her dry hump you. The strategy is to minimize temptation, not watch her get off on you regularly. If that helps you to wait, then wait.

You can either A: sexually starve her til she caves. Let her do her sexual things solo but have no part in it
Or B: Be honest with her and tell her you're going to have sex with someone else. If shes not happy with it then simply leave.

No point in lying. Boasts confidence to be honest and draw the line.

>>16858314

Have you tried doing fun stuff with her, with no expectation of sex?

I know you both have medical conditions, but do something fun together, and only focus on having fun. Don't focus on sex at all, just make her happy.

My gf and I went to the Berkshires for a few days during one of our rough patches. We went hiking in the mountains, went out to eat, then went back to our room at a BnB and it's like nothing happened. We were back to our normal, comfortable, selves.

She was on her period, but it was still great. Drank some wine, talked for hours, made out, listened to music, and went to bed. When her period ended, we were having the best sex we've had in a while.


Have you tried getting her female libido supplements? They work wonders.

Also learn how to give an awesome massage. Get some coconut oil or grapeseed oil, and offer to give her a foot massage. Then work your way up to her back, lower back, legs, etc. This gets girls extremely turned on and ready for sex.

Just don't stop trying, m8. I don't mean try as in pull her pants down and hope she doesn't say no, I mean try as in try to form that spark that existed when you first fell in love. When you get it back, don't let go.

I would also recommend reading The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sex Secrets Every Man Should Know.

It's a short easy read. Google the pdf.

>>16858298

> It kills love. It makes you view sex at the same level as cuddling and watching a movie, when in reality it is far different.

I love my wife despite being sexually frustrated. Not sure what you are getting at here. My therapist told me that men feel loved through sex. Thought this had more to do with being a man than porn.

> Talk to your partner about how you can make her feel more comfortable and what she wants out of you as a lover.

She wants me to only want it once a month like her. She also wants to basically lay there while I do all the work, make her cum, and then hurry up and finish so she can get back to watching Chopped.

> Also watching porn makes you view your partner with less esteem, and makes you upset that she's not waking you up by deepthroating you and letting you creampie her on her lunch breaks.

Perhaps you are right, but there are far more fundamental things that I am upset about before I get to that level, like, not having sex once or twice a week like I would be happy with.

Thats like saying that I am upset about not having chocolate sauce and gummi bears on my ice cream when I just want to start with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and see where we go from there.


> cut out the porn cold turkey, and you will have no choice but to dedicate yourself to winning back your partner's love.

Do you understand how long I have been married? That I have tried this probably 5 times already with no success?

I look at porn because I gave up on her, since she gave up on me and herself.

>>16858331

> Have you tried doing fun stuff with her, with no expectation of sex?

I know you both have medical conditions, but do something fun together, and only focus on having fun. Don't focus on sex at all, just make her happy.

That is our entire lives together. Fun stuff without sex. Our life is great in every way but the bedroom.

> Have you tried getting her female libido supplements? They work wonders.

She refused and claimed that they don't work. She is a doctor. I might try this avenue again and point out that she would do it if she cared about my happiness. She is extremely stubborn though so it will probably just end up in a fight if I push it.

>>16858335

Shit m8 that's rough, sounds like there's a deeper issue.

She may be deficient in something that could be reducing her sex hormones.

Do what I said, get her the female libido supplements. A lot of doctor's claim that they're necessary for a woman to keep her sex drive at a normal level past her 30s. They also improve her mood and focus, my girlfriend swears by them after I got her first bottle for her.

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>>this weekend

Dude, you're full on retarded. She wants to fuck as bad as you do, she just doesn't want to be nothing but your sexual release toy. The next few dates are a test to see what you're after. If she thinks the answer is solely pussy, then you fail.

You gotta put in some time, take her to a couple of dinners, romantic walks etc.

Lot of guys have a 3 dates rule, but that's only if you're a catch. For every 10 pounds overweight from average you are, add a date.

For every inch shorter you are than average, add a date. Multiply that by the number of inches taller than you she may be, if she is.

For every half inch your dick isn't at least 6 inches, add a date.

For every visible blemish you have (moles, hairline, double chin) add a date.

What you should end up with is an approximate number of dates it's reasonable to wait for her to put out, or at least suck your dick. Beyond that number and she's crazy.

Like most 4chin users, I end up somewhere around 10 dates.

>>16858347

Specific brand recommendations?

>>16858345


Damn she sounds very cold and stubborn, no offense.

Drink a bottle of some good red wine with her or something. She sounds extremely tightly wound. Maybe get some weed and share a joint with her.

>>16858350
Piping Rock libido passion.

Makes my gf wet like a ruptured dam.

>>16858355

Thanks anon! I really appreciate the advice. I am grateful even if it seems cynical. I am just very afraid of getting my hopes up again.

>Opus Dei

Get ready to have 25 kids if you remain with her.

It's not just that they don't believe in contraception, it's that THEY HAVE TO MULTIPLY, IT'S A MANDATE OF GOD.

>>16857936
sure she maybe your GF now but whose to say in a few months she wont be?

you need to focus on the long game, not the get your end away and find the next one.

you need to focus on the details, and making you & her happy. otherwise she is going to look elsewhere because you were too focussed on getting into her pants.

>>16858298
>porn is bad for marriage

What shitty advice. Have you ever been married?

>>16858416
Yes and I'm a marriage counselor.

>>16858432
In that case I seriously hope you are a "counselor" working for a Christian group whose solution to everything is more bible, and not an actual professional. Some of the stuff you prescribed is outright scary and dangerous for a marriage.

>>16858432
NAH

>>16857936
>opus dei
Oh shit, get the fuck out.

They use brainwashing techniques to make girls afraid of sex. If you don't want to live a life of pain GTFO now!

She'll only ever fuck you to make babies. And believe, you'll end up with A LOT of them.

>Run Forrest, Run!!!

>22
>first gf
>I am slightly autistic
>waifu material

You sure you wanna fuck this up after one week?

>>16858021
>lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction
THIS

>>16857936
Sounds like you aren't much of a Catholic op. Don't feel bad, few of is are.

Best thing to do is to date someone who's catholicism matches yours. Otherwise you're going to end up with a bunch of out there chicks into things that get them off without Jesus noticing but leave you high and dry.

Seriously, one of the most serious catholics I met got off from being otked by priests and nuns. She would cause regular trouble on the hopes of getting spanked. At least one teacher in her school was aware and didn't care/mind getting her off if she "deserved" it.

>>16858314
It's awful friend, but it may be time to just up and leave. If she breaks down crying every time sex comes up there is more going on than you let on.

>>16858432
I work in human sexuality as well and there is nothing wrong with watching porn so long as you aren't hiding it from your spouse. Find something you can watch together and you'll be fine.