Wild GF
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
What do you do when you gf opens up to you about her promiscuous past.
Like part of me really wants to support her, but then a very loud part of me is disgusted with her.
Am I expected to cope with dating a slut?
Why the fuck do women even have a wild past. Shit is a huge turn off.
>>16848798
just make sure she isnt promiscuous now. then get over it its in the past. you shouldnt be upset woth thungs that really arent important. just be sure and be honest and make sure she is honest.
>>16848798
>Am I expected to cope with dating a slut?
is she a slut? if not there is nothing to cope with. if yes that she is going to cheat on you so get as much ass as you can before she does and dump her
people change so find out if its just her past or she still slutty
at the very least she knows how to suck cock and is being honest about her past. win win
As long as she won't cheat, what's the problem?
She'll be more open to kinky stuff.
It doesnt really matter if she isnt promiscuous now. A girl like this isnt really who I imagined myself with. Why should I accept used goods. Why would she wait to tell me. Now I have to deal with this shit.
>>16848798
Ignore the women in this thread, dump that slut as fast as possible
>>16848798
>What do you do when you gf opens up to you about her promiscuous past.
1 - Start emotionally detaching yourself from her (may take some months), make sure she doesn't realize
2 - Meanwhile, flirt with other girls and get one or two ready
3 - Break up, saying you're confused or some shit
If you act like a god-tier boyfriend in the next months and don't make her bitter about the breakup, you may still be able to bang her for a while after.
Pic related
rip op
>>16848798
How dare she existed as a human being trying to take in a life of human experiences before you entered into her life like Jesus Christ entering into the world and ending the BC era.
>>16848798
Tell her that hearing about her past partners makes you feel jealous. If she's upset or offended by that, then it's time to get the fuck out of there
>>16849029
Jealous?
More like disgusted. Like my mental image of her is sullied. Shes not the person I thought she was. I didnt think I was dating a slut.
>>16848996
Why dont sluts just go find other sluts. I dont understand why this is so hard. Its so frustrating thinking about how shes gone slept around and now wants a more tame lifestyle with me. Go find one of those guys you were sleeping around with to do that with you.
>>16849044
How long have you been dating? You don't sound like you're in love with her. If you aren't then the relationship isn't worth saving, so break up and move on
>>16848956
lol this is /r9k/ bait. It might be true but I need the sources at minimum. That being said I do get the feeling that the cock carousel is real and that my gf is off it looking for me to take her.
>>16848939
Its not that easy. Shes already integrated into my life.
>>16848951
Professional break up advice right here. Ill keep it in mind if I decided to end things.
>>16849044
Your a judgemental prick. I am positive she has a thousand other positive qualities than being dicked by several dudes. What makes you so special that you deserve a girl without a past? What do you have to offer?
Prick.
If you can't accept your girlfriend, then it's time to move on. But, coming from someone with some experience in life, I can tell you that your girlfriend having been promiscuous previously means little to nothing. This is a bigger issue the younger you are, because at some point every woman builds that history. Women learn different lessons from those experiences, and those are what are really important.
If you can't accept it, it's time to leave the relationship. If you want to continue in the relationship, you either have to fully accept her past and move on, or talk to her to find out what she has learned from her experiences. After that, if you can accept what she's learned then the relationship continues. If you can't accept them, then the relationship ends.
This issue, though, is more about you than it is about her. If everything else is good, my advice is to not fuck it up because of it.
Good luck, man.
>>16849047
It shouldnt be to hard for you to understand that the person you love is disgusting to you. Maybe its one of those things where finding this out has made it so that Im no longer in love with her but still love her. We moved in together like 4 or 5 months ago.
>>16849066
Choosing to be promiscuous reflects someone's values and personality. If the values aren't compatible with what he's looking for in a partner then he's not obligated to accept them
>>16849066
I dont have a past that sullies the image people have of me. I dont have a deep dirty past. Worst part of my past would be the phase where I was watching porn.
A person's good qualities doesnt outweigh the bad qualities.
>>16849068
Im sure people like to think having a promiscuous past isnt a big deal. But it is and it is part of who you are. Sure everything is good. Up until I found out who she really was.
If you're that disgusted with her end it now for both your sakes.
>>16849088
>Im disgusted with you and Im walking out
>Oh but be sure to pay the rent for the rest of the lease.
>>16849087
It is only a big deal when you're young. All women have past experiences. At some point, women become more comfortable with their sexuality. This happens earlier in some than in others.
Coming from someone in middle age, it is not a big deal. It is no deal at all.
This issue is more about OP than it is about the girl. It doesn't make OP wrong, because where we are in our life journey isn't right or wrong, but it may make the relationship not able to continue.
But if OP were, say, my age and said this type of thing, everyone would think he was immature and, frankly, feel embarrassed for him.
But again, the younger you are the more important non-issues seem, and you don't have the experience to deeply understand why they are non issues.
Good luck.
once a slut always a slut OP; the sentiment does not change, only its expression.
she's telling you this now to gauge just how much she can get away with/how much you deserve to be shit on for accepting it, since she doesn't accept it herself. but bad things can feel so good, OP
tl;dr ditch her if ur not cool with it faggot
>>16849087
What does having a lot of sexual partners say about "who she really was"?
>>16849115
It says she was a person who didn't value commitment, safety, or intimacy in her relationships
>>16849120
If you agree from the beginning to commit or not commit, this doesn't really say much about her. She's obviously decided to commit to you, are you worried she will cheat or something?
By safety I assume you mean STDs. Do you think she didn't use condoms, gave you something, or didn't care about these consequences?
I don't even know what to say about intimacy. Romantic and sexual relationships can be mutually exclusive.
>>16849127
Not OP. also
>Romantic and sexual relationships can be mutually exclusive
Yeah, they can be, but I personally don't think they should and just because it's 2016 doesn't make that belief invalid. If OP believes the same and his gf clearly doesn't then there's a compatibility problem.
>>16849066
this. people fucking change. stop being a pussy and get over it. maybe she should dump you.
>>16849139
>If OP believes the same and his gf clearly doesn't then there's a compatibility problem.
I wholeheartedly agree. However it seems like OP can't get out of this relationship for practical reasons at the moment (having a lease together). So either he is going to have to question/change his beliefs or simply wait it out until he can leave her.
>>16849100
I dont know where you live, but sluts arent welcome in most of the world save for a few slutty countries in europe.
>>16849115
Are you asking what being a slut says about you?
>>16849154
I live in San Diego. I have worked all over the world, and have lived in Eastern Europe, West Asia, East Asia, and SE Asia.
Any other questions? I still strongly disagree with you.
What about you. Where are you from?
>>16849146
>people change
-every slut who wants to settle down
You probably should have thought about that before you slept around.
I really dont understand the mindset of women when they get of the cock carousel
>>16849171
What's not to understand? It's successful the majority of the time as long as they can find a nice loving beta
>>16849185
I dont feel like there are that many betas out there.
>>16848798
you bask in the glow of all the ridiculous shit an experienced woman is going to do to your cock.
>>16849239
>bask in the glow of an experienced woman showing you how she pleases other men.
>implying you wouldn't have also had a "wild" past given the opportunity
>implying you aren't resentful because you were never swarmed with the pussy
>implying your clean past isn't due to your own beta nature
If she's no longer promiscuous, it should not be a problem. She was honest with you, most likely because she cares and wants everything in the open so that you won't get hurt if/when your relationship becomes more serious. If you can't move past it, break things off. It really is that simple. If you're just going to pout and hold a grudge forever there's no point in drawing this out. Break up with her and wait for your perfect virgin waifu.
>>16849253
>implying you wouldn't have also had a "wild" past given the opportunity
Is this really the mindset of sluts. That everyone is a slut but only they got the chance to express it.
>>16849066
For someone who claims OP is judgmental, you sure are pretty fucking judgmental. OP is allowed to have certain tastes, it doesn't make him some kind of bigot just because he's conflicted.
>>16848862
Literal meme, it'll mean that she she has already tried all the kinky stuff and will pick and choose which she will do with OP. So while some guy might have pounded the shit out of her throat on a basis, she might turn around to OP and tell him "I tried that and didn't like it"
Anyway, this is why people should be upfront early in the relationship when it comes to this stuff, this is why I always try to tactfully as possible get this information out at the start of any relationship so I know what I am in for, but that isn't even full proof because women fucking lie like hell about this shit even if they pretend that it isn't a big deal, when it obviously is.
>>16849292
They lie because deep down they know it is a big deal for basically every guy who's looking for a serious relationship
>>16849292
People seem to think that you are obligated to accept their past
>>16849261
Pretty much. Women like this have no concept of reserve because they walk through life with barely any consequence getting humped left right and centre, so she puts all the blame on OP as this kind of thought process is very threatening to such women, god forbid she comes across a guy who turns her down for her past.
Notice how she tries to shame him, call him a beta when in reality not even Chad would settle with the town bicycle, even though he would use her as a cock sleeve on the rotation..
So say I decide to end it with my gf. I do I break it to her.
>>16849253
>implying you wouldn't have also had a "wild" past given the opportunity
I've had chances to sleep with a number of women, including some friends. I decided not to because I didnt think it was the right thing to do.
Is self restraint really that difficult for you?
>implying your clean past isn't due to your own beta nature
I always found this beta/alpha logic amusing.
>>16848798
>Why the fuck do women even have a wild past.
because guys like you wanted to fuck them and they gave in because the alternative was drowning in spaghetti
>>16849394
>like you
project often?
Regardless of who's right or wrong, OP and his gf don't have the same ideas of what's acceptable. OP, if this was such a big issue for you, you should've asked her about it before you guys moved in together, or she should've told you earlier if she thought it would be an issue. Both of you were wrong for assuming the other would be cool and this wouldn't be an issue.
>>16849431
>regardless of who's right or wrong
>both of you were wrong
lol first one's specifically referring to whether it's right or wrong for a girl to have an extensive sexual past
>>16849431
>this guy has a checklist for redflags in his journal that he keeps on him
>this guy ask about the millions of red flags on the first date
>>16849434
It's not good to have a long checklist of requirements girls must meet in order for you to date them. However, if having a sexual past is one of OP's non-negotiables, then that's something he should ask about. Especially after encountering this situation where he knows this may be an issue with future girls.
>>16849438
>this guy keeps a journal with a checklist of red flags he takes on dates with him.
>this guy ask about the millions of red flags possible on the first day
>>16849449
Doesn't have to be, and shouldn't be, the first date. Good thing there's plenty of time between the first date and moving in together.
I can relate, OP. I can hardly deal with the fact that my current girlfriend was not a virgin when she met me. I can hardly deal with the fact that I was not a virgin when I met her (I had been engaged once before; got my heart broken).
In an ideal world, I would have been able to commit to one woman, and one woman would have been able to commit to me: we'd be the only partner the other has ever had, and there'd be no jealousy or reason to consider the other person having a past with anybody else.
I realize that this is overly ideal, edging on ridiculous, and so I cope with these feelings. It's easy for me because my current girlfriend puts effort into understanding how I feel, and she is able to reinforce the fact that she's committed entirely to me with the way she treats me. If you two can understand each other (without judgment on either end) it can work.
On the other hand, if it's a complete deal-breaker, there's a very low chance of it working out. For the sake of human decency and the time you've given each other, I think it's worth it for both of you to come to a point where you completely understand how the other one feels.
A question you should ask yourself is this: what's the ideal scenario? Does she show legitimate remorse for her past? Would that be enough for you to consider still being with her? If not, that's all she could ever do, and so you should probably end now to prevent any additional hurt.
>>16849066
Do women proudly say how many men theyve slept with? Do you know why?
It's a red flag for wild and compulsive behavior. It shows a lack of care for what people think of them so long as they think they can get away with it.
And fuck all you that think people "change." People can alter their actions but they'll ALWAYS be looking for the next thrill
>>16848798
>What do you do when you gf opens up to you about her promiscuous past.
this is a shit test and if go along with it she will give you sex. also she is not relationship material and I would just pump and dump like the rest of the guys did.
>>16849066
>don't judge me
we should not judge violent criminals then and we can trust them with our lives.
>>16848798
i dumped a 19yo girl because she told me i was her 17th guy, just after telling me about a mmf she had once. you can't really help the gut feeling of disgust you feel when you learn the girl you like is a filthy slut
>>16849464
>It shows a lack of care for what people think of them
This is a moronic tautology which can be used to justify literally anything socially frowned upon, whether it's legit or not. In prior times, for example, a woman who had a job would "show a lack of care for what people think of her" and thus under your criterion have a red flag for wild and compulsive behavior.
Basically, it's not a red flag to not give a fuck what faggots like >>>(You) think
>>16848798
I am also in your shoes, OP.
My boyfriend has slept with a lot of girls in the past. He had serious relationships with only 20% of them.
I am disgusted by this and told him so. In MY opinion, I feel like sex should be something to be shared only with the person you love. He would be sleeping around if he wasn't with me and that bothers me. Because of that, I feel like he is just a kid who is not ready to settle down or have a serious relationship (he is also a hard partier but that's a story for another day). Because of his partying habits and promiscuousness, I just can't take him seriously.
The problem is that people have different values when it comes to sex and while it's understandable that you're upset, you have to determine if this is a dealbreaker for you. The fact is that you can't change her past just like how I can't change my boyfriend's.
>>16849704
>societal norms don't affect me! I'm my own person!
>>16849457
If she felt legit remorse, itd be worth taking those feelings into consideration. No promise that Id stay with her though.
>>16849660
Why would I want sex from her anymore.
>>16849700
Yeah that feeling of disgust probably doesnt go away. I couldnt see myself staying in your shoes.
>>16848798
This happened to me last month and I was so damn close to breaking up with her but I then I remembered how lonely I was after breaking up with my ex and doubt of finding another girl with the same personality as current gf. Ill just let it run it's course. I'm definitely not going to marry her or have kids. I'm very firm on that now.
Also I've been having the best sex of my life, she hits all the fetishes I want, and gives me the greatest bjs
Tl;Dr my dick betrayed me but what can you do. Wrap up or move on
What can you do? I mean if she's devalued intimacy so much that she'd rather have some stranger she doesn't even know the last name of put his dick in her than pay her cab fare or if he's the only guy left at the bar at closing time, what do you even have left to share in a relationship?
>>16849457
This. My girlfriend had a boyfriend 3-4 years prior. I was upset, but she did what she could to make me understand her loyalty/remorse.
>>16848798
People change OP, people change.
Why not look at it differently, and be happy that she is willing to open up about you that can be seen as really bad? Don't loose sight of what actually is important, and dont act upon temporary strong emotions. Calm down and rethink about it when you're emotionally stable.
>>16848798
When I first started dating I dated a guy who had already slept with 10 girls and got blowjobs from dozens of others. It made me sick and I wasn't able to look at him the same. Now that I've had a lot more experience -even though that guy was a total douchebag- I understand that it's just having fun and natural for some people while others are content to settle down early. Maybe you need to get something out of your system, OP. Or maybe you need to adjust your views on what a modern relationship is, because life ain't a Disney flick. Unless by promiscuous you meant that she slept around while in a relationship, because once a cheater, always a cheater. But if that isn't the case and you like her as a person, then try not to blow it out of proportion. Communication is everything so talk with her about it.
The problem with most sluts is that many don't actually like sex particularly more than anyone else, but use sex as a means of validation to cope with low self-esteem, and complain when guys won't date them when they put out. They're basically the female "nice guys", but instead of being pushovers in hope of getting a relationship, they're sluts. If people like being promiscuous when they're young they'll like it when they're old, and either settle down with another promiscuous person and have a swinger relationship or never settle at all. If people have a "bad past", ot shows they are very insecure, and suggests that any moment, they will seek sex for validation again.
Sluts are fine but former sluts can't be trusted.
>>16848798
>What do you do
Leave them, back in the gutter.
Don't say anything.. Tell her its not her .. Its you.
Find a better girl (or a great liar) because even if your disgust fades... her self loathing won't - and it will poison you both.
>>16848798
Two options anon
1) deal with it
2) leave her
>all these rediculous notions of chastity
Wew lads
>>16849292
>it'll mean that she she has already tried all the kinky stuff and will pick and choose which she will do with OP. So while some guy might have pounded the shit out of her throat on a basis, she might turn around to OP and tell him "I tried that and didn't like it"
I'd say this more than anything would put me off. Oh you had some wild kinky sex with a scumbag ex but don't want to have one now that you've "settled down"? Idk that's sort of like you're sharing something with someone else that you aren't willing to share with me, if that makes sense.
As for OP, I'd say that if she's dtf and do whatever, then having a "promiscuous past" can be a blessing if it's an indication of her willingness to have sex a lot. If it's the "I've settled down and don't really want a lot of sex anymore" type, then I don't think I could deal with that.
>>16848798
Just avoid any attachment to her
Keep her around until you can move on then discard for something that isn't trash
Leave mate, you're enabling this behavior and the rest of us will have to deal with this. The reason women slut around is because they know betas like you will take her to dinner and lick the cum from her pussy and thank her for the privilege
>>16850104
Look, I can understand not wanting to date a slut, but what the fuck is this? It made you upset that she once dated a guy? And now she's dating you, holy shit what's she gonna tell the next guy? This is bizarre to me.
OP you can not be expected to deal with anything in anyone's past. It's completely unreasonable to have an expectation like that because it's your experience that matters to you. Regardless of how she is now or how she will be if it bothers you enough to want to leave I say you should do it.
People don't accept a lot of different stuff. Like if you were part of a terrorist organization and used to murder innocent children would they deal with that? It's just in the past. It'd bother me ALOT to know that this person used to do that. If your limit is at hand holding then that's your problem, if you can't deal with it then leave.
People cannot blame you for that any more than someone could blame me for not liking people who have murdered children. It's the same thing, you can be fairly certain that relapse isn't likely, especially in the terrorism case. So all that really matters is your experience of it. So why do people think it's wrong to judge people who sleep around? Probably because self interest usually. There's no sensible way to justify why you should stick around when it bothers you. That's just abuse.
If people who sleep around were more prone to cheat then that's another reason, but I don't know these stats.
>>16849261
>implying double standards for women don't exist
If she's loyal and doesn't have any STD's, who the fuck cares?
>>16849253
>mental slut
>assumes everyone is like them
No, not everyone sleeps around just because they could. Not everyone does drugs just because they have access. Some people avoid vices for good reason.
>>16849066
this
>>16849146
this
>>16849068
fucking this, OP
Stop being a judgmental prick and pretending like you deserve something, because you don't, none of us do. I guarantee OP is back in a month complaining that his GF left him and what he should do to get over it.
>>16850659
>he's so bothered by this he's not sure if he's got a stay together
It's a real fucking problem. Don't trivialize it by saying he's being judgemental. He realizes that it's his perception that's the problem. He has the option to change that, take the abuse or leave.
Would you say the same of someone mentally tortured you on the regular, insulting you or calling you inadequate? I suspect op fears he's inadequate.
>>16850659
Promiscuous individual detected.
>>16850593
>Loner spotted
go back to /h/, it's the only women you'll ever get
>>16850668
>assumptions make an ass of you and me m80
I've been with my GF for 2 years, she's my first GF and I'm her first BF as well, we're not promiscuous by any definition of the word
>>16850666
>gives an actually valid excuse
You, you've got things figured out I think
>>16850675
No I'm a NEET kissless virgin. Don't listen to me. I just rationalize things as a replacement for real experience. Hoping you guys can sort it out.
OP if your girlfriend was a succubus and she sucked out part of your life force every night would you think it's a good idea to do nothing and just let that keep happening? I'd probably leave and let some more magic resistant elf deal with it rather than some weak human like myself. Or you can seek training in the magic arts to retain your life force better.
Or she can suck you dead, as most people here seem to think is a good idea. But they're all succubi so they're kinda bias I must say. But it's worth considering how much you like this succubus. If you like her alot that changes things, maybe you don't think you can find anyone better? Maybe there's no good pious women left in your area and they've all fallen to corruption. Then why would you leave? There's no options for you.
>>16849066
Honestly you seem to be a lot more judgemental then OP. His lanugage has been tame throughout, never even used so much as the word sult. The same can't be said about you.
I think the reason this thread hits you so hard is because you can see yourself in his gfs position. You should calm down then if you feel like commenting defend your position in a rational manner.
>>16848798
As someone who married a former wild grill people can change. No matter what she's done before remember you were better than anyone who came before. You've won
>>16848798
Your post is near and dear to my heart. I've dated a lot of sluts and this is what I've learned:
>What do you do when you gf opens up to you about her promiscuous past.
You search for one very, very important thing - morality. There is a very clear distinction between a woman who has fun when she's single, and a cheater who cheats on her man because she needs emotional or physical validation and/or lacks the emotional capacity to have an adult relationship. One is a red flag, the other is just a human wanting to have fun like most other humans. You see?
>Like part of me really wants to support her, but then a very loud part of me is disgusted with her.
Are you really disgusted with *her* or are you just feeling weird because you haven't had the chance to have those kinds of experiences, she has, and now she obviously expects you to be faithful? I might just be projecting here, but that's what bothered me with my first girlfriend. She had all of these fun adventures with dicks and here I am being, "... I wanna have fun like that too!" She, of course, was done with being a slut and wanted a nice husband (me). That didn't sit well with me. It felt unequal. It felt like she got to sneak in some slut shit and now I had to be all locked down and faithful. It felt *UNEQUAL.*
>Am I expected to cope with dating a slut?
if you choose to date, then yeah. It's actually a really dick move to know someone has a promiscuous past, date her, and then suddenly UR NOT OK, OK SLUT? <--- dick move. You chose to date her and if you knew she was like that before you chose... then it's on you Anon.
>Why the fuck do women even have a wild past.
Because their sexual value drops significantly when their skin, tits, ass all start sagging and their faces show age. I live right next to a college campus. When I see a 19 year old girl wearing short shorts at the street corner with those firm, tan, youthful looking legs... something inside of me melts (cont.)
>>16850719
>>16850734
>>16848798
I love my girlfriend, but she will never have that youthful physical attractiveness again. Ever. So women, knowing this, want to go squeeze the juice out of life anon (or the cum out of dicks lol) while they still have that power. if you put yourself in their shoes, you would understand that guys are no different, not really.
Now - here's my recommendation about how to see this.
>1 - Establish if she just loves sex or if she's an actual whore
Big difference.
>2 - If she just likes sex, I say embrace the fuck out of it
Learn every, single thing you can about sex. You have a walking sex dictionary at your finger tips. Use that bitch and become a god at sex. That way, if you two break up, lo and behold you're head and shoulders above the rest because you took time to *LEARN* from your girl's past.
My first girl was a confused whore. She wanted to be faithful but understood that her time to be pretty was limited. Our relationship was toxic with cheating and everything else, but I can honestly say dating that girl turned me into a fucking beast in bed. I took the time to learn everything, try everything, experiment because... after all... she gave it to some other faggot, she can give it to me too.
>But anon, it hurt when he fucked me in the ass
>So? I'm not him, you're not dating him, and you tell me you love me. If you love, why aren't you trying to give me all of you? Especially when you've already given it to some fuck head who you don't even know anymore. Am I better than fuckhead? Well then when are we putting it in your ass.
You can literally do whatever the fuck you want with this girl. LEARN FOOL.
>>16850741
Sounds like a pretty bad deal.
But what do you mean when you say that guys aren't different? Doesn't make sense to me.
>>16850719
How long have you been married?
>>16850789
>Sounds like a pretty bad deal.
I'm...not sure what you mean. Even though my first relationship was toxic, I am still to this day very grateful that i had it because I was able to be superman in bed for women I actually cared about.
>But what do you mean when you say that guys aren't different? Doesn't make sense to me.
Do you want to fuck hot women? Pro-tip: Women want to fuck hot men too. Do you like to have fun? Guess what, so do women. Do you get emotional satisfaction from knowing a woman wants you and finds you sexy and wants your dick? Surprise, women like this feeling too.
Men and women have very similar motivations, they just express things differently.
>>16850795
Been together over 10 years
>>16850719
How do you feel when she kisses your son/daughter with a mouth that took cocks that weren't yours?
>>16848798
If the gf opens up about her promiscuous past, I simply tell her, "Wow, I hope you can have as much fun with me as you did in the past."
Insecure faggots will not understand. My post.
>>16848798
op, I think you're just scared of living. don't bash it till you try it
>>16848798
>What do you do when you gf opens up to you about her promiscuous past.
Use condoms and get tested
>>16848798>>16848798
OP I shall stick a pound in for my opinon.
I between the ages of 16-22 was a sexual firebrand, sex for you, sex for you etc. I had sexual relations with single girls, depressed girls, engaged girls, married girls, bisexual girls any girl.
Ive cheated a lot, been the cheater and the cheatee, caused emotional pain to a lot of people, this was also a time when I partied with the best, drank booze and took, many a pill.
Now im 27, I took a few years out to be me and relax, I dont drink, smoke or shag all around anymore and let me tell you, you dont want the life of a deviant, I make no bones about my past as I try to settle down, im 100% honest and girls reject me. Especially the girls with a history like my own, they see me as worse and reject me, again I accept it would be hard to.
However you could say it's easy as I have "lived" and a girls past couldnt match, but I also have seen the very worst of what girls have to offer and believe me aslong as the sex was consenual and they played no mind games and didnt fuck anyone over. I welcome and accept their past.
Sleeping with guys during her single years isnt bad. Why shouldnt she have lived her life how she wanted before you?
"Am I expected to cope with dating a slut / Why the fuck do women even have a wild past" - With those attitudes youre lucky a girl would want to be near you. How do you think an innocent girl would feel seeing you say slut? "Oh he says slut and doesnt think a woman should have a wild past, Im definitely going to fuck him and do what he wants regardless of my thoughts and feelings".
I dont believe youre mature enough for a relationship man, break up with girl and be single and figure out what type of girl you really want.
Ill end with this, my wild past would be considered fun and encouraging to many guys and celebrated too but would worry women. If a woman has the same past its frowned upon by men and celebrated by women by enjoying their life.
>>16848798
It fucking baffles me how people like you get into relationship with women without knowing their personal history first. If you're going to be such an autist about sexual history why would you not be upfront about it. Sounds like you're a gaping pussy and got what you deserve.
>>16850901
I married a wild girl. Not one who does not brush her teeth
>>16850901
How do you feel when your mother kissed/kisses you. Shes only human and has probably sucked a few cocks.
>>16850901
Do you let anyone else hug you? Can you even imagine how many times the average person has been hugged? Disgusting.
>>16850523
>People change
t. slut
>>16850555
once a slut always a slut
>>16850548
>get it out of your system
Why not find other people who have gotten it out of their system.
>>16850644
Most sensible post Ive read so far.
>>16850648
How is it a double standard.
>>16850666
>people who dont like sluts only do it because they feel inadequate.
I really dont understand you people
>>16850666
>people who dont like sluts only do it because they feel inadequate.
I really dont understand you people
>>16851407
That's a generalization. It's how I interpreted OP. I can't say so for every person who dislikes promiscuity.
>>16851371
Thanks mate. I don't usually get replies to the posts I'm proud of. So thanks.
>>16851479
As a person who dislikes promiscuity, I do not feel that insecurity is ever the reason. Its just very straight forward. If you dislike promiscuity, you realize that belief is worthless if you date someone who doesnt also have the belief.
Not only are you rewarding that behavior, you are not receiving more. Its literally just losing.
>>16851495
Well someone is bound to have insecurity as a reason. I think it's a lame excuse to give generally (because it's so aggressive towards the one who dislikes promiscuity) but I don't see why it wouldn't be a thing.
>>16851559
Nah I feel like people just see it as insecurity.
You should read up on debates about why doing good things and going unrewarded is better than stealing or other bad things and getting away with it.
The latter side always tries to paint the former side as insecure and jealous. Its a really ugly sight. Here promiscuous people are trying to do the same. Theres no way they could be wrong. Its clearly everyone elses fault.
>>16850995
>dont bash raping until you try it
>dont bash stealing until you try it
>dont bash shrooms until you try it
>dont bash heroin until you try it
>dont bash violence until you try it
You are you so scared of living bro
>>16848798
It sounds like you hold yourself to different values than she has in the past, and you are feeling the risk that she may go down that path again.
Everyone's expectations, morals, and ability to adapt are different. So there is no certain answer as to whether the way you feel is appropriate or not. If it makes you feel mad, then it makes you feel mad.
As an example on the spectrum of moral values, I told my brother that I have had a couple of partners since my ex wife and I had seperated. He was disgusted that I would sleep around while I was still technically married. I hadn't seen her for 2 years at that stage.
Out of curiosity.. What kind of stuff did your girlfriend do in her past? Wondering what has you so disgusted by her actions.
>>16848798
What counts as a wild past?
Imagine a girl lost her virginity at 17, the average age. Then she is in a different relationship every two years until she is 25. That is 4 guys. Is that a promiscuous past? What about 8 guys, if she has 8 one year relationships?
Or maybe she hasn't had the luck to find someone with whom she is very compatible, and dates 3 guys a year for 3 months each, let's even say she does this starting at 21, and is single for the remaining 3 months. Dating for 3 months without sex is pretty unreasonable for most adults. That's 12 guys. Is that wild and crazy, OP?
My points are firstly that context matters (sleeping with 12 guys in one night might require some explaining, whereas 12 guys in 8 years is normal), and secondly that you should be realistic about what constitutes a "wild past" compared to normal development.
We all have standards for what we want in a relationship. Settling down when we are young, particularly after having dated only one person, is strongly correlated with relationship failure, likely because we don't know what makes a compatible partner for us. This includes sexual compatibility, and how can we know what we want from a sexual partner if we don't have sex? It is irrational to expect long term happiness in a relationship if you place arbitrary limits on the experiences your partner is allowed to have, as these experiences are what increase the likelihood of a successful relationship.
People in this thread are correct that you are entitled to your ridiculous opinions, but be aware that they are absolutely irrelevant to any actions your gf will take in the future, you are being irrational, and the more your gf knows herself (sexually and otherwise) the more likely your relationship is to be successful.
>>16851693
This is statistically false. The more partners a person has the more likely their marriage is to fail.
And theres no excuse for ever having 12 partners.
Also losing your virginity before graduating hs really makes you a very loose person.
>>16851652
Many people are disgusted with high number of sexual partners, or experiments with multiple partners at the same time, or certain experimentations.
>Why do women have a wild past?
>why do men?
>>16851827
Those men chase after women who put out their entire lives though. These women try to settle down with men who dont seek that.
>>16851734
> girl loses virginity day before graduation
> becomes 'loose'
>girl loses virginity day after graduation
>totally normal
Moral is you're an idiot
>>16851856
>in hs
>not in hs
Do you not see the difference between these people. They are in different points in their life.
>>16851856
>statistics people sometimes use arbitrary points to convey a message
Unless it's actually representative by a discontinuous function.
Atleast ask him to post his source or whatever. Don't make a silly statement on how you didn't think about the post for more than 2 seconds.
>>16850995
Were you a virgin before you met her? If you weren't you can't expect her to be one you special fucking snowflake.
>>16851898
Oh shit, why did I ask that, of course you were a virgin; you're on 4chan.
>>16851898
Theres a difference between having 1 or 2 previous partners and being a slut
>>16848798
Do you want a GF that might treat you like another fling or a GF that saves themselves for a long relationship?
Sluts will always be sluts OP, remember that.
>>16852038
How many partners has she had? Being sexually promiscuous isn't a definitive term (for the specific numbers) but it's unlikely she's had that many partners; I think that like always, op is just being a fag.
>>16852107
Is it more than 1 or 2. Do you think shes had more than a few ex husbands
>>16851859
You're right, if she waits until after high school she's likely slept with 0.22 less people than if she lost her virginity in grade 12. Clearly, she is a dramatically different person if she has the moral fortitude to wait that extra year.
Source: Same dataset as >>16848956, NSFG 2011-2013
>>16848798
I admit it's a turn off, but if she's someone you genuinely care for, someone you really want to be with then you should be able to look past it, the first time you hear it, it's gonna burn bad. But over time you'll realize that it's not that big of a deal. But I'm speaking from my own experiences, and this is cause I'm with a girl I genuinely love. I don't know what you're situation is now.
>>16852710
So are you in the process of getting divorced or not yet married?
>>16852728
We're not married yet, but I'm really happy with her, she's slept with upwards of 20 guys, which is really off putting for me and quite frankly I was angry and somewhat disgusted at first (I can sympathize with OP to some degree) mostly because we we're just on different ends of the moral compass. I always considered sex to be really intimate and respectful between the two people participating in it, In fact. I was a virgin before I started dating her. I would never go have sex with people frivolously. Others may disagree, and clearly she didn't feel the same way before she met me. But she says she's changed since she started dating me. She hardly does alot of the things she did back then, sleeping around, excessive drinking/partying ect. We were essentially polar opposites before we met. But she seems to have left that part of her past behind her. Which I'm happy about, like I said, if you really love her you learn to deal with it. I can't necessarily say anything about a person you don't love, but that's just cause I've never dated someone I didn't really love.
>>16852066
Isn't it also possible that people who save themselves for a long relationship will continue to get more and more curious about experimenting, and increase their chances of succumbing to the temptation?
Whereas someone who has already experimented through their curiosities would be more likely to know for certain what works for them and what doesn't...
>>16853933
No and no.
People that have had very few partners will become curious and cheat if they are weak-willed and not committed to their relationship.
People that have experimented will cheat if they are weak-willed and not committed to their relationship.
Source: oldfag
>>16853933
People can experiment without being promiscuous. Sexual frustration is another thing entirely.
>>16851626
There's nothing wrong with shrooms Senpai
>>16849066
>I am positive she has a thousand other positive qualities than being dicked by several dudes
Is this what you tell yourself every time you hit Planned Parenthood for a plan B?
>>16853965
>Sexual frustration
What is this and how do I know whether I have this
>>16854497
Does the thought of other people getting laid annoy you? Do you find that no matter how much you jack off, some itch just isn't being scratched?
>>16854598
>Does the thought of other people getting laid annoy you?
Im annoyed that other people are degenerates
>Do you find that no matter how much you jack off, some itch just isn't being scratched?
I dont masturbate anymore. So theres the itch which I take as a good thing since it means my dick still works. But when I did masturbate it was gone.
Is it that bad? Isn't she really good in bed? Shit is awesome.
>>16854846
inexperienced virgin>experienced slut
Sex isnt even that big of a deal.
>>16853933
Why would you want a partner whos already figured all that out.
>>16848798
My ex had been in "short relationships" with 14 guys before me. She was very religious and shy, and told me she had changed a lot, and I believed her. Our relationship of 3 years ended with her going behind my back to talk to and sext her abusive, cheating ex for several months. Take it as an enormous red flag.
>>16854944
Why would you date a girl know she was with 14 guys in the first place.
>>16854981
She was the first girl to show interest in me in a long line of rejections, and seemed genuinely nice as well. So basically, naiveté.
>>16848861
>>16848862
This, had the same problem with my gf at first, was very turned off by the idea that she'd had so much sex, but I came to accept it it wasn't with *too* many guys, just a few more than girls I've had, you gotta take into consideration how much easier it really is for a woman to have sex, for them to be turning down guys left and right and only have like 10 or less in their 20s is pretty good. Sure, in an ideal world there's a perfectly innocent virgin cutie waiting for you to take her first, but the older you get the less likely you are to find that, chances are if you're out of high school you're not gonna find one. This is just the real world m8, people have sex, especially women. I wouldn't worry about it unless she was an extreme whore getting like gang banged, doing threesomes, fuck like 25+ Guys, etc
Dude just break up with her. These people are unevolved and have way too much baggage. You cant make a ho a housewife. Let this gross subhuman find another gross subhuman to be with. Whores are literally the most unevolved souls in the universe and they will fuck up all your shit.
>>16853960
So it is possible...
Experience often contributes to having a stronger will and being more sure of what one wants.
>>16854888
Not figured ALL of it out, but figured out the main points to what makes them truly happy, what doesn't and where their boundaries are with things.
Eg. Dad tries to set me up so I humour him. Devout Muslim woman. Inexperienced. Quietly has a go at me for not praying 5 times a day (I'm not even Muslim). Preaches the virtues of a true life at one with Allah.
Next day she's telling me she wants to go to a club and drink alcohol to see what it's like.
See I don't want to waste time with inexperienced women who haven't established their OWN virtues as opposed to following someone else's.
That's just my own reasoning based on my own experiences though. Not saying I'd get in a relationship with a woman who used to be a stripper/whore/massive slut, but I'd prefer someone with a bit of experience and open mindedness.
