Self defense
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I am 5'8", weigh ~185lbs and am 18 years old (male)
Yesterday, i was out with a friend and had to drive him to the gym or something, and we were having a good time in the car.
I busted a U and started accelerating, but this guy tried to overtake me, but i didn't let him and i flipped him off.
He then followed us for 2 miles, nearly causing several accidents along the way, only to stop me on an empty street.
This is the important bit
He got out of his car and i got out of mine, and i calmly asked him what the fuck he wanted.
He punched me in the face and started going off about how i should learn to drive and respect other people.
Now, i'm not playing the victim and saying he shouldn't have done that, cause i kinda had it coming, but my question is:
The guy must've been ~6'3" and could have beaten me up without much resistance
How do i deal with being unable to defend against taller men?
Should i use weapons in these situations?
Does that make me a coward?
More than just taking the beating?
What do?
> inb4 involve the police
They don't care and i'm no snitch
> inb4 fat manlet
I am not obese, i exercise regularly and am on track losing weight and getting fit
>>16737571
remember his license plate?
Call the police, tell them you have a witness, documentation and sue him. If need be, have your friend give you a black eye.
Buy a taser
>>16737593
No, and i wouldn't.
I ain't no snitch
I'm asking for advice on how to deal with the situation, i don't care what happens to him afterwards
>>16737571
nigga, are you retarded? why did you stop in an empty street while some dude has been following you for 2 miles after a road incident? does that sound like a reasonable person? do you know what an unreasonable person can do if angry? no, you don't. cause they're fucking unreasonable and angry.
you're a chubby manlet. you're not intimidating and most guys will view you as an easy target. start lifting faggot. it won't make you much better at fighting but it'll give you an advantage over some.
>>16737571
don't be naive or inconsiderate and you wont run into this shit. what was naive was getting out of your car because you dont know anything about a stranger. i haven't had anything remotely similar happen because i avoid those two things and im 6 years older, 60 pounds skinnier, and 1 inch shorter. i definitely dont cower at shit to avoid it, i just am considerate and not naive when it comes to strangers so this doesnt come up
Well, in this case, you completely started the fight, and ignored several chances to end the conflict. Instead, you escalated it at every turn. You caused the entire situation, and just kept making it worse. So yeah, if you pulled a gun on the guy and shot him, I wouldn't really consider it "self-defense" at all. You'd pretty much just be a murderer who goes around starting fights because you know you and your gun can win them.
So the first step is to learn not to be such a fucking jackass, and you'll find that situations like this come up very, very rarely. I'm not a pussy or a pushover, I don't back away from conflict, but I haven't let a fight turn physical since high school. Nobody REALLY wants that shit and you'll find there's always a better way to end it.
If you're living in a bad area, if you've got people trying to prey on you for no reason at all, then it makes sense to carry a weapon for self-defense. But in the situation you described, the whole thing was 100% your fault, you basically forced the guy to hit you.
>>16737600
> why did you stop
Because he got in front of me and out his car horizontally on the road so I couldn't keep going
Also because i'm not a pussy who hides in his car
>>16737610
> was my fault
I agree
> forced the guy to hit me
I don't agree with that because i didn't have an aggressive demeanor when i stepped out of the car
>>16737600
I got out because when i saw him, he was a rich kid dressed as a nurse, so i didn't perceive any real danger
In the end, i only got punched, so i guess it was an ok judge of character
Having a baseball bat or a baton in a car is essential, also dont drive like an idiot
>>16737571
>Not having a .45 in your car
Lol OP. Nobody is that tough when you get out of your car and point that at their face.
>>16737624
>i didn't have an aggressive demeanor when i stepped out of the car
You had a two-mile road rage battle with this guy, then you pulled over with him and GOT OUT OF YOUR CAR. Getting out of the car implies you're ready for a fight. There's no way you can spin this story to act like you weren't begging for a fight.
Take a lesson from it and move on. I'm not trying to be like "hurr you're such a bad person" because everyone does dumb shit. The important thing is that, when the world puts you back in your place, you understand why it's happening
>>16737571
Down the line:
>How do i deal with being unable to defend against taller men?
First off, don't piss them off. Act like a decent human being and you won't often have to deal with this. This doesn't mean you have to be a servile bitch (which only breeds its own problems anyway), it means just what I said. Golden Rule.
As for dealing with taller/ stronger/ more-experienced/ physically superior people, don't accept fights (i.e. mutual aggression), just get away from them. If they assault you, run and yell for help. Life isn't a Disney movie where the picked-on kid will always ultimately kick the bully's ass. If you know you're not going to win a fight, don't aggravate the situation; and if you don't know how the fight will end, don't fight.
>Should i use weapons in these situations?
Fuck no. You provoked him. If you'd shot him or stabbed him, you'd be going to jail and rightly so. Weapons aren't a "get out of physical confrontations free" card.
If you don't have the maturity to deal with people in public or the knowledge of when deadly force is appropriate, you have no business carrying a weapon.
>Does that make me a coward?
What, picking a fistfight and then drawing a knife or gun? Sure, "coward" is one word for that, I guess.
Legitimate self defense against attack is a completely different thing. There's no honor in assault. If someone comes after you to cause you serious physical harm or death AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO PROVOKE IT, using deadly force is acceptable. But learn the law before you starting packing.
>More than just taking the beating?
Well, if you got yourself into a fight and it's going badly (or will go badly), you have a few options. Your best is probably to just fucking apologize. Say you're sorry and back down, and more often than not the other guy will back down as well, if for no other reason than to press for a fight after that would be criminal.
>>16737680
cont.
>They don't care and i'm no snitch
Reporting crimes committed doesn't make you a snitch. It's the proper thing to do. You're not the fucking Punisher, let the cops handle it. There's a difference between tattling on your older brother and informing the police that there is a violent individual attacking people. Looking the other way with crime is infinitely more cowardly than "snitching."
Of course, bringing the police into the situation you described would be a dumbass move on your part given your complicity, but that has nothing to do with "snitching."
isn't the snitch rule only for not snitching on your friends?
the fuck does it have to do with some asshat who has road rage
>>16737690
It used to be about being loyal to your friends. Now it's just a way for drug dealers to get away with murdering children, robbing their neighbors, and destroying their communities while everyone sits around saying "well at least I'm not a snitch"
>>16737690
the snitching rule typically only pertains to victimless crimes that are none of your business.
the autist OP thinks it means you never talk to the cops about anything. this nigga is going to get stabbed and bleed out instead of calling 911 cause he thinks anyone fucking cares.
>>16737571
Miss titled post. Nothing of what you described is self defense
>>16737657
Right, but i think you misunderstood the situation
He got in front of me and stopped, then got down and started yelling
So, basically op picked a fight with a stranger and is asking how to win it next time.
>>16737717
Right, and then you took off the seatbelt and opened your door and got out and got up in his face. And then he hit you. What are you not getting here? How are you not understanding that, at every stage, you had a choice to end the conflict peacefully, and you made the opposite choice every time?
>>16737571
First off: you kinda deserved it and I hope you will never drive like an asshole again.
Secondly: if you had used a weapon it would not have been within the rule of law, since he only approached with his hands (unless you live in a state with stand-your-ground)
Thirdly: getting out of your car to confront an angry stranger is fucking stupid, you avoid confrontation, that is the very first rule you learn about in self-defence.
>>16737726
>"bro, i can't seem like a bitch. i ain't a pussy. i'm not a snitch."
OP is an insecure, out of shape manlet that is way too interested in what people that he doesn't know may or may not think of him. it's pathetic.
>>16737726
> got in his face
I think you're making quite a few assumptions throughout your posts
He was the one yelling and i only got out to try and talk, i never even raised my voice, because from seeing him i knew i wouldn't have had any chance of beating him in a fight
Also, what other chance did i ever have?
The guy just followed me for two miles, trying to get in front of me and i just wanted to get away.
I don't know how to calm people down from the seat of my car, tbqh
You sound like some a moron OP. Please, go right ahead, learn some karate at a mcdojo. Next time you pick a fight with someone exactly like you make sure you confront him, at least then you might end up with a knife or a bullet in you and you won't have to worry about being a snitch.
The number one rule of self defence is to avoid confrontation and de escalate at every possible avenue. It's not for you, op.
>>16737717
Look, jackass, if you want advice on how to be some kind of hard from-the-streets motherfucker (aka useless idiot destined for prison or an early grave), go join a gang and ask them.
You don't seem to be inclined to actual advice.
>>16737743
>I busted a U and started accelerating, but this guy tried to overtake me, but i didn't let him and i flipped him off.
>He got out of his car and i got out of mine, and i calmly asked him what the fuck he wanted.
At this point, it should've been crystal-clear that "what the fuck he wanted" was to beat you up and teach you a lesson for driving like a jackass, cutting him off unnecessarily, and then giving him the finger to top off your reckless endangerment with flagrant disrespect. And that's exactly what he did. This whole thing was ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT. Stop trying to dodge responsibility, because you'll just end up doing the same dumb shit again, and the next guy might pull a gun or cave your head in with a tire iron.
If you'd stayed in your seat, he might've just yelled at you instead of hitting you. Or he might've hit you anyway. By that point, you'd already done so much dumb shit that a fight was probably inevitable.
>>16737756
I am considering all the advice in this thread, i just think it'll be more suited to my situation if everyone here knows what really went down
>>16737759
> dodging responsibility
I literally said this was my fault in the post, l2read
The question wasn't even about if what i did was right or wrong, it was about defending against taller and more capable men
>>16737773
But that's the point, nowhere in what you're describing can this be called defense
>>16737773
Right but then you say shit like "I didn't have a chance, he was following me and I just wanted to get away"
Like, you do everything you possibly can to start a fight, and then you say "But I didn't want a fight, I was just trying to be calm and reasonable, etc"
You're full of shit. Your question was "how to defend myself in situations like this" and honestly, the best advice anyone can give you is to stop creating these situations. That's what I'm trying to say here.
I've been in many confrontations and arguments in my life, I'm not a pussy or a pushover, but none of them have EVER ended up like this since I was 16 years old. Because I don't go around behaving like a jackass, fucking with strangers, almost causing accidents, acting like I'm the star of my own little comedy movie.
The guy taught you an important and apparently necessary lesson. Understand it, and get on with your life.
>>16737793
Thanks anon, i'd just hope I hadn't made an ass of myself on here, i've been through some shit lately and getting punched by a nurse wasn't exactly what i had planned that day.
I learned my lesson and won't be inducing road rage in the future.
>>16737800
No problem man, it really doesn't have to be a big deal, everyone does dumb shit, and you don't really learn NOT to do dumb shit until the consequences catch up with you. As long as you can accept responsibility and learn from it, you're gonna be OK. I find that that's pretty much the one major characteristic that separates good people from irredeemable douchebags
How are you not getting how fucking stupid it was to get out of your car? Do you understand how crazy some people get when they're behind the wheel? You're lucky the story ended with him chewing you out and hitting you with his fist, instead of a bat or a pipe, or with him brandishing his pistol at you, or, you know, worse.
Don't get into confrontations with strange men you know literally nothing about.
Don't drive recklessly or provoke other drivers.
Do those two simple things (you know, act like a reasonable, functional adult) and there never will be a next time.
If you feel still feel unsafe in your day-to-day life, take a self-defense class (not a martial arts class) and hopefully your instructor will wring some of the reckless bravado out of you. For god's sake don't start carrying a weapon, and if you do, it had better not be a knife or a gun.
>>16737831
Submitted this post before I saw your most recent one. It's to your credit that you're actually listening to the advice you're getting on here and making a commitment to do better. I retract my ass-chewing.
>>16737835
Thanks man.
I feel i should clarify something.
I live in a country where the most dangerous groups of people are lower class gang members, and rich sons of farm owners.
Rich kids tend to be cocky and violent, and the most likely to actually get physical.
When the guy stepped out of his car, i saw that he was wearing a hospital uniform, so i got out because i thought he wouldn't get physical, and after i told him he didn't need to, he didn't touch me again.
If it had been a gang member or rich kid getting out of a hilux, I wouldn't have even stopped the car.
>>16737597
>I ain't no snitch
Then you're a bitch.
>>16737851
I feel like you're still completely missing the point.
>>16737868
I'm not, i just wanted to provide extra information
I got the message, i'm just clarifying
>>16737872
If you say so, man. It's your life, I really got nothing to say that hasn't been said already
But it really has nothing to do with what the guy was wearing, or what kind of person he was, it has everything to do with the dumb shit you did at the VERY BEGINNING of your story that started this whole thing. I don't give a fuck what you think about rich kids or gang members, because it wouldn't matter if he WAS a gang member if YOU HADN'T STARTED THE WHOLE THING WITH YOUR RECKLESS DRIVING AND YOUR SHIT ATTITUDE. He would've been a gang member who drove where he was going, and you would have been a regular kid who drove where you were going, and you wouldn't have crossed paths and there wouldn't be a story
>>16737891
Jesus fucking christ dude you don't have to yell ffs i already worked all this out with the other anon
There's allot of nutless chumps itt.
>>16737909
Yeah, but then you just keep making excuses. Like, it's okay that you cut off a hospital worker, almost caused an accident, and flipped him the finger, because you really didn't think it was likely a hospital worker would actually beat you up.
I am the anon you "worked it out with," and at this point I really don't think you've worked anything out at all
>>16737944
Again, you've misunderstood me.
I only got out of the car because i didn't feel threatened.
Everything else i did was wrong, but i'm explaining why i got out of the car for everyone who said getting out of the car was a stupid idea
>>16737957
I think you're the one who is misunderstanding, repeatedly, how your words and actions are seen by other people
>>16737965
It's almost as though plain text is not the best medium to convey complex interactions
>>16737973
If you say so. But I'm not the one who just got my ass beaten by an angry male nurse.
>>16737982
Well if you've resorted to mocking me, i guess there's no more use in continuing this thread, is there?
>>16737990
I'm not mocking you, I'm pointing towards evidence suggesting I'm not the only one who has noticed an attitude problem. Take it seriously instead of taking it as an insult
>>16738010
>> yea but i didn't get beat unlike you lol
> not mocking
Ok anon, i've listened to your advice, learned my lesson, and i won't be driving like an asshole in the future, so help my brown ass.
What can i say now that'll make you happy?
>>16737571
> What do?
Don't flip people off. Problem solved.
Wtf do you care if he overtakes you? What, are you going to win a medal if your car reaches the stop light before him?
Drive safe. If he had just passed you, the whole situation would have never happened.
>>16737982
Look, this is not rocket science.
One time I was lost in thought. I blew through a red light. Some guy followed me for 3 blocks and pulled in behind me. He jumped out and yelled that I blew through the red.
I apologized and told him I didn't see the light. I was lost in thought. We shook hands and parted. End of story.
>>16738018
Sorry if I went a bit overboard m8, you said everything you needed to. Turns out I'm not entirely above getting dragged into the bullshit, myself. Really my main point was to make sure you don't get yourself killed out there, and it's pretty clear that you get it, so I'm down to call it a day. Be safe
>>16738052
Thanks anon
>>16737957
>I only got out of the car because i didn't feel threatened.
See, you're still trying to say that you had reason to get out. Even if it was a 5' flat old Asian woman, you should not have gotten out of the car. You have no idea what a crazy person will do to you. You should have reversed your car and driven away.
Saying that "he wasn't a threat" is stupid because crazy people are unpredictable. Remember those rooty tooty point and shootys?
You can't size people up based off of what social group they're a part of. "He was a rich kid nurse" is not a good enough reason. The fact that he was following you and stopped you should have told you that he was now classed as "unstable" instead of "gutless rich kid"
Quit trying to explain yourself and own up to the fact that you made a blatantly wrong judgment call that has absolutely no excuse.
>>16737571
Other people already covered what you did wrong in this situation, so I'll focus on the self defense aspect.
You're short, a bit chubby/fat/whatever, so I'd focus on shin kicks. A properly done kick to the shin will drop a motherfucker faster than you can say go. Lots of pain receptors down there. Don't look where you're going to kick; lots of untrained folks in fights telegraph their kicks, and that's a huge no-no. Practice quick but strong kicks to shin level while looking at face level.
Next are punches: The force of a punch is generated in the hips. No hip movement, not enough force. I've seen 140lb old men in Jujitsu hit a weighted practice dummy all the way to the floor with a single punch. It's about form and practice, not strength. That being said, closed fist punches aren't really the way to go anyhow. You hit a bone, say you swing for the face and hit the skull, you're breaking your knuckles/fingers. Open palm you'll generate enough force to inflict a lot of damage, without the risk of hurting yourself. To an untrained person that might sound foolish, open palm striking, but look up some videos to see what I mean.
And lastly, don't start fights. Finish fights. If you don't feel you're completely in the right, you shouldn't be fighting. It's a last resort, not a problem solver.
>>16738095
Thanks for the advice
