Didn't see one in the catalog.
Only nigger in first class.
I'm in love with my best friend. fml.
I'm the most conversative mofo ever. Writing letters to chicks online for months. What was I even thinking? Was I even thinking?
My family is currently gathering at my grandma's house to celebrate my birthday, and usually I'd be really excited because my extended family and I are close and I love family dinners, but all I can do is sit here and feel like shit.
I didn't go do the video interview with the police, the officer the appointment was with got called away, and I left my phone number so they could call me when they got a chance. He called at 11pm, and even though I was up and not ready to go to bed, I lied and said I was. I was supposed to go to work this morning, too, and I didn't do that either.
I feel hollow, and alone. I haven't told anyone about my boyfriend getting arrested, or breaking my hand. Now, I have to show up and try to live my life and everyone's going to ask how my hand got broken and I have to decide if I'm going to lie, or just tell them and burst into tears.
Anyone have any good excuses for a broken hand?
>>16724732
I think I have a serious problem, but I'm never telling anybody about it, nor do I say how bad it really is.
I'm suicidal on the daily, I was manic depressive, but now I'm just apathetic most of the time and can't wait for the day to die.
On the other hand I have big dreams, but I can't seem to gather the power to strive for them, as I did in the past.
Also I think I let myself be used by women, physically, I just seem to be some kind of male slut, but without wanting it, I just crave physical contact, sex and a women that tells me how much I'm valued, even if sex is all she wants...
I feel pathetic and have no self - confidence whatsoever.
How can I change to be the best me?
I'm not even stupid, I finished school with a top grade, I play piano since nearly 10 years and am a person that is a genuinely good person (that's what I'm told, even by the persons who use me), but there is something that feels off, something that makes me feel crippled within.
>>16724732
I actually wish my family was dead alot. So I wouldn't have to feel torn because of a shitty divorce that happened shortly after I was born. I'm sick of my strict dad and hoe fucked up I get living with him, and I'm tired of my strictly religious mother and how non - understanding she is. If all of my family died, I'd feel free
>>16724975
Honestly, no advice can be given. You either have strength to leave, or you simply endure. Choose one is all that can be said
he's talking in his sleep and it's adorable
>>16724761
Shit. You're fucked
>>16724761
You're gay/lesbian now?
C,
I lied. We probably can't be friends. I like you too much. It wouldn't be fair.
I think my girlfriend has bipolar disorder or smth.
Some days she's super happy, wants to hang out with me all the time, says nice things to me and is overall just the 10/10 girlfriend I love.
However other days she doesn't give a shit about anything. Doesn't want to talk about anything really, just wants to be by herself and do nothing, has no motivation for her studies or anything. She starts acts rude and just goes quiet all of the sudden.
Some of her friends have noticed the same thing. It's like she changes to a totally different person all of the sudden. The few days when she's happy with me are everything I've ever dreamed of. However the days when she's not feeling it are really tough.
I've come to the conclusion that in the end the relationship is just hurting me more than it should. I've been thinking of breaking up with her soon. It's not going to be easy though because I still have really strong feelings for her but she's making it impossible for me to love her.
I just needed to vent...
Has anyone had similar experiences? Any advice at this point is helpful...
>>16724995
Oh fuck off fuckboi I hate whiny manwhore faggots like you.
Oh, and you're a bad pianist.
>>16724761
Ha, I feel this. My best friend is pregnant, about to be married, and I'm her maid of honor. I wish she would've realized what I meant when I told her I loved her, and that I'd die for her, and that she was the only person I felt this way about. If I weren't such a coward I might have had a chance.. We both would be happier. I'd give her everything.. He can't be the support she needs. He doesn't deserve her for what he's done.
I'm losing my ability to be calm and confident around people, and I don't know why. I just went back to college, and I was anxious to the point that I felt a little sick. I was shaking all over, and the table was vibrating as a result. Then the professor told us to form groups and exchange contact information. So these people were talking to me.
I managed, but I don't know what's going on. I used to throw huge parties, sometimes with over 80 people in attendance, and now I can't handle a classroom with maybe 15 students. I can't think of anything that's happened in the past few years that was particularly traumatic or anything.
I wish I knew where to begin finding friends, getting a gf, a hobby, interests, education, job, anything. Too much laziness in me
I need to stay up all night to reset my sleep schedule but I'm so sleepy.
6 more hours...
Who can blame me for liking your sisters? They're very likeable! Go fuck yourself!
I really enjoy looking at pictures of myself. It probably all came from when I used to be super insecure and not confident, but I learned to appreciate how I look. But now I'm so into myself and in love with myself that I just don't care much for others anymore. I've learned to be my own best friend, my own lover, my own therapist, my own everything for the most part. Only I can seem to treat me right and love me right.
>>16725491
I'm the only one who hugs me when I really need a hug.
I'm sorry.
I'm stupid, I always have been.
I was alone, I always had been.
To me, you were very unique.
You were something I never wanted to let go.
I tried to be something that I knew I couldn't.
In the end, all we had was ruined.
I thought I could stop myself from being me.
How I longed to be so free.
In the end, you're here no longer.
It's just me, alone, left to ponder.
I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused.
I hope your spark of light remains as bright as the dawn.
Farewell, my past, my memories, and my friend. For the are all the same in the end.
Today feels like my last day on Earth
>>16725555
Quads has spoken. Godspeed anon.
>>16725588
dubs speak the truth
I've made threads on /adv/ and ignored the advice in favor of what I wanted to do anyway. I feel bad for having wasted people's time.
I'm going to masterbate to the thought of you backing me against the wall and fucking me tonight. I hope that's okay.
>>16725602
Some things are a process. Being able to talk things out and consider outside perspectives can still be small steps towards overall improvement, even if you're not ready to do the seemingly sensible thing yet.
But I mean, depends what you asked. If it was just like "pizza or burgers?" and you ignored that everyone said "pizza" then yeah not much to be gotten out of that.
I feel like i'm in love with somebody I've only known for two months that I've only met because they wanted somebody to meet up with to fuck.
Yeap, here we go again. I feel sick from myself, what I say, what I do. I swear, sometimes sitting at home 24/7 just to avoid doing ANYTHIG, you know, completely abstaining from action, therefore avoiding judgement, seems like a decent idea.
>>16725632
your initial?
I can't shake the feeling of being lonely. Now, I don't mean the type of lonely that I live alone and have no friends, no. I have a relatively normal family and I have some pretty cool buddies. We go to the pub, watch the footie, go out and eat steak til we cant move, hell we're even planning on creamfields (Google it) this year.
But I mean the need of a woman in my life kind of lonely.
I've been dating on and off for almost 3 years since my last 'full on' relationship. It was the typical early 20's soul destroying, heart crushing breakup we all go through. We wanted to get married. Have children. We clicked on every level...it was amazing. Like the universe had brought us together after shitty upbringing and pasts.
We broke up in January 2013. I was fucked up for the majority of 2013 because of it. Truly a mess. Manic depressive and for a few months on anti anxiety pills to stop me breaking down every 20 minutes.
Now with that in mind over the following 2 years I picked myself up and I'm now doing brilliantly. My career shot off and I've just landed a promotion after not even being at my company 2 years.
Which leads me to this point. None of the women I've dated or been in very short relationships since her fulfill me in the way she did. None of them. And this is after I stopped comparing. I can and have taken new women on their own merits. Loved them even. But I always end up feeling alone because they just don't touch my soul like she did. I fucking hate it. I hate knowing that in almost three years I haven't met a single woman who makes me feel that loved...that amazing. They all leave me empty. Success is great but what good is success if I can't share it with someone who makes me feel that way?
How can I let go of this horrible empty lonely needy feeling? It's like she's poisoned my heart and soul against any other woman.
Being a lesbian fucking sucks
>>16724732
zip zop zippity wop
bop bedoop woop dop
zop
Most girls have no game. It's not symmetrical. We don't care about pre-selection. We don't care about jealousy. Gets women wet. Men hate it.
>>16725943
Really? I'm straight as fuck but I do really really well with beautiful girls. I think I should just be gay because men fuck a suck. I'm getting divorced and I think I want a girlfriend.
Swiggety swooty I am going to reap that booty
>>16726084
Most attractive girls, if not all, are straight
You should get a girlfriend then, experimenting is nice
>>16725943
agreed
i'm just sitting here wishing i had the guts to finally kill myself
>>16725943
True that... Probably still better than dealing with men, though.
Fuck both of you.
You'd think knowing someone for 6 years would make a pretty unbreakable bond...but I guess some people really are just that cruel. Oh well, their betrayal has only made me stronger...and now my ambitions have grown as well. Grown so much, it's bigger than the both of them and the petty drama they tried to create from this bullshit. It's nice, knowing people are scared of you and the power you hold over them...but I'm too nice to use it. They probably know this too, and are so happy they both got to use me, of all people...
Fuck both of you.
>>16726310
I'm happy you don't. Suicide isn't the answer, anon.
I wasted a million good opportunities sitting around for some fantasy in my head thinking it was just a jealousy play. I should've used my brain. I'm Stiffler living as AFC for a fantasy in my head. Is my iq below 50? I rejected beautiful girls out of love for them because I didn't feel enough of a spark and they still hate my guts. I could've gotten laid when I was 12. What was I thinking? And nobody but me ultimately cares about this statement, yet here I am waiting for someone to validate this or something..What the heck is wrong with me?
>>16726310
don't do it I love you.
>>16726391
no you don't. no one loves me.
>>16726395
Yes, people do. I do, anon. I don't give a shit if I know you or not, you are a human who exists in this world, therefore you are loved.
>>16726395
i love you too anon. just accept it :)
>>16726419
>>16726424
if you really loved me you'd find a way to kill me :^)
I want to get out of this rock and live life on my own. I just want to finish this semester of college, go to the West Coast and spend a few months there, working small jobs and just spend a lot of time soul searching.
I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I love you. I have for a year. Make the first move! I want you to! I'm not sure if you're flirting but please!!!
>>16726310
Do it, pussy. If you don't have the guts, you clearly don't want it bad enough.
Then what? What's the next step now? Feel like shit about it until life kicks you hard enough to kill you because you didn't have the balls to do it yourself? Fuck you, you're wasting your time doing something useless.
Get a hobby, get in danger and/or do something that'll bring you closer to either death or the temptation of it. That way, you won't die by your own hand like a bitch.
I wanted a doge for Christmas.
>>16726589
tl;dr
ONCE HAD LOVE AND IT WAS A GAS
SOON TURNED OUT HAD A HEART OF GLASS
>>16726427
this was obviously not me. you're silly anon. I love you.
I hate myself so much. I have thing for incest and I hate myself for it. It is disgusting, immoral, and I'm starting to get even worse to wanting have a little sister to fuck. I'm stop watching porn AND FIX MYSELF!
>>16726720
Don't quit your day job pal.
>>16726323
Grown so much you're posting about it on 4chan lmao
I don't know where I'm going in life. Really I just want to make one person happy and stick with them the rest of my life, but I'm just a lonely loser with mental issues. I've had some urges in the past week to jump from high places when I walk by but I don't really want to kill myself yet. I look at the moon and I can't help but think that someone else is looking at it the same way, and one day we will find each other. Aside from a few weird religious notions I've been getting, my main focus is just to survive my unhappiness long enough to find that person.
>>16725062
Hahah I behave in a similar way
Talk to her. Make her sen a therapist. She's probs depressed
I am ticked pink that our conversations today were less stressful than what they have been in the past few days. I just hope it isn't because he's sick and doesn't have it in him to guilt me left and right like he has been. I know he's more than allowed to express how he's feeling in the current situation that we're in.
I know everything will be okay, it'll just take some time... but so far, it's been a rough ride. Then again, it's only been 3 days.
I want to play my game again, but I promised you that I would not touch it for as long as we were together; I did tell him today that I asked a friend to log in and trash the offender from my friend's list, because I honestly felt that it was the right thing, but it only upset you more; I feel as if I cannot do anything right.
Oddly enough you still love me.. Huh...
>>16726636
You must be a retard then, if that's so long to read.
Let me sleep
I want to die.
I am being served divorce papers after being in an abusive marriage for 3 years. I am not being allowed to see my son and all my friends have moved away. On top of all of this I have been out of work for 6 months for reasons both mental and physical. I was the primary caregiver for my son and now I am probably only going to be able to see him under supervision. I never did anything but treat my wife and child like royalty...and now I'm getting screwed again.
>>16724732
Fuck you christopher james you shallow shallow prickkkk get out of my headddd
I'm a lonely compulsive liar; want fix myself, as much as I want to hurt myself till I die
>>16726777
What, you don't like Blondie?
I WILL SHOW YOU
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
YOU MUST HOLD ONTO
ANYONE THAT WANTS YOU
AND I WILL LOVE YOU
THROUGH SIMPLE AND THE STRUGGLE
BUT GIRL YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND
THE MODERN MAN MUST HUSTLE
I'm still in love with her, and I'm hesitant and scared to tell her I can't be just friends anymore, since I won't ever see her again as I'm certain there is very little circumstance under which she would be attracted to me again.
>>16724732
Just fuxk mush ot up
I started balding at around 22. Didn't notice until someone pointed it out, and I basically had a panic attack. I tried to comb it over a bit (since it wasn't THAT bad), but ultimately I just started wearing a hat everywhere. I even shaved it down but I was so self conscious about the shaved look I still never took off my hat. Probably didn't help that my girlfriend at the time laughed at the buzz cut.
But you know, we broke up and I realized how closed off I had been. Hiding under a hat all day, getting scared that the weather would be too hot for it or the wind would blow and knock it off. I avoided swimming for two years because I'd have to take my hat off to do it. I gave up too much to hide my head. So I shaved it off. Completely, no buzz cuts or any of that shit. With shaving cream and a fucking razor I cut it to nothing.
And you know I don't miss it. None of my friends really cared when they saw me bald, and most of my family thinks it's a good look. I can go out and swim and drive with the windows open and all sorts of shit and I don't give a damn what people think anymore. For the first time in years I'm happy about how I look and I'm glad when I look in the mirror every morning. Sometimes I miss having hair but by the end that shit was just holding me back. It wasn't worth holding on to. The price was way too high.
So to everyone out there, balding or otherwise, let nothing hold you back.
I feel pretty confident and like how I look right now. Fuck you Alyssa, you don't know what you're missing. You probably stole my phone, too, but whatever. Best of luck to you.
i'm lonely
>>16728057
I don't know if my boyfriend is with me because he actually loves me, or if he's with me because it's comfortable and safe. We've been dating and living together for four years now, but I'm his first and only girlfriend. I love him so much, but I'm scared he's just settling for me because he doesn't know what else he could get.
>>16728118
amirite
I hope you like me because everything about you makes me feel really good about myself and that's something I don't experience very often anymore.
I worked for 3 years to build up savings, then moved to a country with no jobs, to live in the sun and write music with enough money to last 10 years if I'm smart.
I'm 7 months in and bored as shit. Haven't written shit. Sit on 4chan.
I don't understand why you have to be such a cunt to me in public. You know how insecure I get when you're around other guys, especially those athletes. The least you could do is hold my hand or fucking smile at me. But no, you completely ignore me and when i try to touch you you act like i invaded your personal bubble. Im your fucking boyfriend, bitch. treat me like it. if i treated you like that around other girls you would cry and cry and cry and get your mother to scream at me.
I hate this. I just want to be loved.
>>16728141
Same. Fucking shit.
>>16725062
similar thing happening to me. no advice other than just talk to her man.
>>16725511
no one told you to write a fucking poem, dweeb. your fedora is showing.
>>16728183
You're too good for that manipulator, man.
I hope you realise and believe it before it goes too far.
>>16728183
I know how you feel and have been in a similar situation. Tell her how you feel. Say she either gives you more affection or it's over. If she doesn't, end it. You will not get what you want from her, so stop trying.
You're such an amazing guy. Any girl would be lucky to have a man like you.
I'm going to get put back on antidepressants Wednesday.
It's hypocritical of me to think I can help myself or cope by abusing alcohol, adderall, xanax, cocaine, etc., and yet be paranoid about getting damaged from safely taking antidepressants prescribed by someone who has SOME kind of idea as to what they're talking about.
Here goes.
Hi mom!
>>16728208
This is the worst, most amateur followup to a heart-crushing. If you do one thing in this life, reader, please never say this to somebody. It gets stored under "dismissive shit your mother would say".
>>16724761
Same. But a close friend.
>>16728141
>>16728185
Only idiots settle... So unless you're with idiots, I'd bet both of your partners are not settling.
>>16724732
I'm tired of this life, it's too hard, it's just about time to leave.
My ex is my best friend and I'm in danger of losing her forever so I have thoughts about raping her and ejaculating inside. I'd never do it, but I feel terrible for having these thoughts. I need help.
I can't breathe, I'm suffocating. I'm panicking. I'm so, so fucking sad.
He's leaving me. Again.
He's leaving me again not even a week after I tried to kill myself. Again.
Of fucking course.
But this time it'll be forever, and it's breaking my goddamn heart.
He doesn't want me.
He doesn't love me.
I'm nothing to him. I'm a complete fucking idiot for ever thinking that I could actually mean something to him. I'm a worthless piece of shit who's only talent is sabotaging and ruining everything, especially the person/thing I love and care about most.
I just want him.
I want him to give a shit about the fact that I was in hospital.
I want him to love me again.
I want him to let me love him.
I want him to be happy.
I want him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay again.
I just want my fucking boyfriend back.
I'm nothing.
>>16725511
come back
I sit in my car everyday after work, have a smoke, think about killing myself, drive home and pretend im fine for my family
Ok, now I've hit the bottom. Drained, husk of a person. And no-one can tell. I'll just carry on with my work and ignore any emotions I have. They just hurt me anyway. Won't speak unless spoken to. Won't do anything unless asked to. Fuck everything. Can't help anyone, only make it worse. So I won't.
I have desires to kill myself.
To force myself to stay alive, I order continually more outrageous sex toys online and enjoy them, so that I know that if I off myself, my family will find them and my reputation will be ruined. It forces me to continue.
why would i think feelings went both ways? you're obviously straight, i've already found this out the hard way. i don't know why i keep forgetting it. sorry for making everything uncomfortable, i know you probably just want a drama free friend. i hate myself.
Falling asleep and truly hoping i never wake up
Fuck you. I hope you still think about me and remember what I did for you though. It all felt like it was thrown back into my face in an incoherent and jumbled manner. I really don't appreciate how I was treated when I tried to bridge the gap, but I know that something has been clinging to you ever since I did that. I'll still remember our fun and all of our experiences, but oh well, those times are gone now. They're just memories. I admit sometimes you cross my mind, but not like you used to. Maybe one day I'll run into you and things will present themselves naturally, who knows.
I know you'll never be able to forget me, I guess that's mutual. I'll probably only exist in the back of your mind now, but that's okay, because that's mutual too.
Lastly, I wonder how you feel when you're lonely and anxious, and I wonder if you ever get depressed. I wonder how your parents are going... Also, I still don't even know if you live here, but I guess time will tell.
If doing the right thing is such a bother to me why am I even doing it? The hell to it all. I'm going to stop everything that is such a bother to me and only do things that I want to do. I need no other reason besides 'fun' to do things. I much rather pick useless crap that makes me happy over other crap that make me feel like shit.
God I love you so much S, my darling. You'll never know. The poem I showed you, I wrote for you. I know you didn't realise but it was a kind of closure for me. Someone else sort of likes me and I think we'd be good together. So I'm sorry, but I'm going to be falling out of love with you soon. Be happy. You'll always be the first one I ever loved.
I fear that i'll lose my sanity as soon as i give up the fight against my urges. I want to kill people. I want to kill them in certain ways(different weapons, different kind of torture before and so on) just to see what happens with the body. I dont like hurting people, i'm just so extremly curious..
fml. I cant even talk to a psychiatrist about this because they'll put me into some kind of lunatic asylum.
>>16728577
Hang in there pal, itll work itslef out
>>16728790
Thank you anon, I really hope so. Life is just shit sometines tbqh
I can't remember the last time my bf purposefully tried to make me feel loved, cared for, appreciated, valued, or wanted.
Yet I go out of my way to try and make him feel those things (small gestures, handmade things, doing what he likes, etc).
I just don't think he gives a shit about me anymore.
>>16725062
I'm the same way. I hate myself for it. I imagine I cause a lot of trouble for those who care about me.
>>16725920
You have to think of your experience with her as a phase of your life that will never be recreated. Like adolescence. We all sometimes wish that we can be go back to high school and relieve our glory days again, or go back to the early twenties and enjoy that youthful vigor. Yet we understand that that cannot happen. Take from it memories and a catalyst for growth.
I'm a fucking failure. I have student's loan, repeated my year in college 2 times, now i failed my finals well maybe not every one of them but probably will. My parents spent like 10-15k $ on me yet i always end up in shit due to my overconfidence and arrogance. And even after previous two faliures i haven't learned anything. I feel my time has come. I've felt like shit before and when they finaly will kick me out of the college i'm gonna break. I need response good or bad - desn't matter. I just need opinion on how it looks from the 3rd person perspective bacuse my self-loathing is so bad at the moment i can't think straight.
Losing a job as a cleaner. How low can I go. Girlfriend doesnt know yet. Its fucking terrible. Skill-less 24year old, I feel like I should kill myself.
The only hope I have is that I actually have ADHD and if I get prescribed medicine, it will actually hrlp me to be useful.
>>16728196
A shit poem, at that.
>>16728934
What do you want to do?
>>16729071If i manage to not fail any more finals i plan to continue, even tho i will have to pay 300$ to have another chance for passing those 2 exams i have failed during next semester. i can earn 300$ by working for 2-3 months in fast food only during weekends. If i will fail more exams...i don't know. Afraid of thinking about this second option. Probably going to dump college and try to earn some money fast. I've took a nap and going to study for tomorrow's exams but it looks bad desu.
>>16729159
Plus i'm kinda stressed beacuse my father already had 2 heart attacks i'm afraid if i get kicked out of the college he'll gonna get 3rd one
Hey Anonette!
I have been wanting to discuss our relationship for quite some time now.
Whenenver I bring it up, you always seem to steer the conversation away from the obvious flaws that I am bringing up.
You almost never write to me on your own accord.
You never make any time to see me, even tho' we live about 30 minutes apart.
You always get worked up whenever I make a comment, like the one time I asked why you took of the necklace I gave you for Xmas.
You seem to always be on the defensive and it makes me feel like you are prolonging the inevitable.
I love you, honestly I do.
But if you dont love me back you need to make it clear. Even if you do have feelings and they are fading somehow you need to tell me.
I cant find myself being with you if our relationship is a burden.
I know you said that you dont like to use social media etc, but you're still flagged as "Single" on your page. And this may sound childish but I commented on it about 2 years ago, and you still havent changed it. I really dont care about it anymore, but it kinda shows the level of dedication you are putting into this relationship.
I want to make this work. But for it to actually work we need to go at it together. A one-sided relationship feels lonelier than being single.
>>16729159
>desu
wtf? i've written "desu"
I walked up to my ex at her 21st birthday
>"Hey, Happy Birthday"
>"Who are you?"
Yes I am over here and Yes I was filled with rage and Yes I'm jealous as fuck of the savagery she layed down on me.
>>16729241
You got off easy boy.
>Was together with a girl for a few weeks.
>She told me she was older than she really were.
>Proceed in telling everyone that we were a thing
>She breaks up with me beacuse im not "cool" enough for her.
>Starts in my school a few months later and prentends she does not know me.
>I am made laughingstock of the entire school.
I however succeed in turning it around because she tried to get together with the most obese guy in our school, which was a taboo for all girls.
She lives in utter shame for the next 6 months.
>>16729251
I am a spiteful cunt. I will have my revenge in time. She dumped me as soon as she got in a sorority. Pretty sure that pussy has seen more action than a Michael bay movie
Things aren't all bad. I am banging way hotter chicks than her.
I think that i'm the ugliest person alive, can't even talk to a girl normaly or look them into the eyes. Haven't said it to anyone, I just keep it in myself. That shit makes me fucking depressed
Hey Aleanna,
I just realized that i was jealous of your boyfriend. I kept telling myself that i was the better man. I'm still mad at your boyfriend tho cuz of the things you've done for him and you get nothing in return.
I just want you to know that i really love you for the bottom of my heart. And i'm willing to change just for you. I can say i love you everyday. And i really want to do it.
What does he have that i don't have?
I know for myself that i am weak. I just can't get this off my chest. I guess i'm not the new me.
I love you Aleanna. From the bottom of my heart.
>>16728913
>>16728913
Thanks anon.
It's truly awful how I completely understand your point and I've lost count how many times I've said almost those exact words when people ask me how I am in regards to moving on from her. "I'm fine. I've moved on and I'm eternally grateful for the experience and how she helped me become the man I am now. I honestly would not be as successful as I am now if she wasn't in my life at that time. I was blessed"
Yet when I think about it, who the fuck am I trying to convince? Them that I'm happy inside and 100% over her? Or me? That I'm okay with knowing I might be condemned to mediocre relationships and 'settling' for that second best feeling because who the fuck wants to die alone without a wife/husband and maybe kids?
I sure as hell don't. But I sure as hell don't want to settle for normal. I've had 2 short lived relationships in the's last 3 years and I ended both of them at 3 and 4 months because fuck mediocrity and settling for being just 'okay'. I want to fall in fucking love again. I want to believe that I'll feel like I did for her again. I accept it'll most likely never be her. But I want that kind of love with someone who I Will one day call my wife and be rushing to hospital because she's gone into labour with our first kid.
Am I fucking delusional to want that? I could grind for the next 2-3 years and be on six figures in my line of work but fuck not being able to share my life with a wife who I'm in love with. I've been in love and money ain't shit compared to that.
Sorry. Rant over. I'm a passionate kind of guy. Haha
>>16724732
I have schizophrenia, and it feels shitty knowing if I go several days without my meds I could end up back in the mental hospital.
I also don't sleep much, and am tired throughout the day. I guess I'm a night owl.
I'm not gonna pretend like I'm a good person, but I know for a fact that 90% of all people is the world is shit.
I have really fucked up morals. I sometimes see things that aren't really there (Something from my nightmares popping up and disappearing after a few seconds/someone walk past me etc.) I hate being alive and all I do is watch anime and play games all day. My grades have dropped massively and my best friends I suspect of being gay seems to be in love with me, but I am straight. I was bullied when I was younger. Beaten the living crap out of me by groups of people double my size. I am socially awkward. I enjoy watching small gifs of people die.
A
WTF mate? I actually mean wtf?
Just because a girl wants to talk and be friends, like you offered, dosent mean they want a relationship.
I was just trying to be considerate of the other party within the matter...
Now things are going to be awkward as fuck... especially with your new nerd glasses...
Why can't people just be straight up and honest instead of playing bullshit games?
I want to die so much. I'm so exhausted. If I wasn't so lazy and a pussy I would have slit my wrists or jumped upfront of a buss. Currently I'm a wage slave so I can buy a gun and shoot myself. The first though in my head when I wake up is >why
I don't have it hard by any means but I'm just so tired of trying to live , caring for people is so hard. I feel so fake. Everyday I feel trapped by my family. Feel like I'm just living for someone else it's hard to live for myself.
>>16729454
Maybe you have unrealistic expectations of good
>>16729454
No you don't edgy faggot
If anything everyone's shit unless you matter to them which I'd say is a good deal less than 10% of the world
I hope I get to see you, Tuesday.
Please, let me see your smile again..
I've loved this man so long and its making me ill to be without him, I have tried and I can never get him out of my head, he flirted heavily for ages and I fell for him hard, I had two other relationships and a couple of dates since I've known him yet now I can't date anyone because I can't get over him, he sort of asked me out then asked me to marry him and I had trust problems and wasn't in the right frame of mind but I really wanted to take him seriously and I was so terrified and the whole thing is overwhelming but I cant be without him anymore, it distracts my work and my whole life and he ignores me for ages then suddenly starts appearing everywhere and it's killing me, he is all I need, no pills or chemical highs can give me what I feel with him, the chemistry is so amazing and I've never felt this way about anyone and feel I never will, yet still we are not together, I just need to make this happen then I feel he doesn't feel the same and he's playing games, he backs off then comes on strong and I can't deny him and I just can't get over it I don't know what to do, its not that i'd kill myself, I feel i'll die of heartache, any other relationship is pointless and I hate him sleeping and dating with other people, I need him so much and its all so empty without us, I just don't know how to cope. I've tried every other way and I cant get away, I need to get out but I can't, I need him and he must know, I can't stand it, i'd really love him back, I would and i'm so desperate I can't consider others, I tried and its not me, I wish I knew what he wanted
I love the girls on 4chan. So many of the ones I see here are so quirky and weird and eccentric, which is such a nice change from the girls in my city, who are all just carbon copies of the same boring template.
I told you that I was ready for rejection and it's OK, but it fucking isn't, I hate you but I can't stop loving your eyes. You have been drinking and dancing only with me whole night and when I want to ask you for a date, you don't want to? What the fuck is wrong with you, I've just stopped smoking and now you are making me want to smoke a pack. I can just hope that you will change your mind. Gonna gain weight and build some muscles so you will see that you have rejected the wrong guy.
I'm going to get a job this week, no matter what.
I'm going to see my cousins again next weekend!
I can't find a way to reciprocate you without giving it away to other people, I know you want to so just make the move and talk to me in private, I can absolutely guarantee you won't regret it.
>>16729543
Who is this.. ?
I finaly started dating my crush after being rejected a few times before.
Now that we are dating I have no idea how I feel about it.
>>16729773
Sara.
>>16729757
Same, man.
initials?
I still think you are amazing, but I know it doesn't matter.
you'll probably never read this but in the off chance you do, you've threatened to wreck me and destroy me in whatever means necessary. Its you who should fear me. you are a psychopath, your mental illness isn't something i'd use against you, it will be your own downfall. enjoy your miserable life.
what did this person do to you and why should they be afraid of you?
Holy fuck do i fucking hate women in general.
Ran into someone, had a beer. Keeps obsessively looking at my hand for some reason (nails were real clean), is all frigid when i hug her goodbye.
Don't app her for three days.
Throws me off fucking facebook, i mend refriend yadda yadda. Send her something. Have to initiate every fucking thing, all these passive agressive "i want a boyfriend" while she's getting railed by these partyboys 2 times a week. I don't even know if her posts are directed towards me, i'm just staying the fuck away from this headcase.
Second girl i reconnect on OkCupid. She's all feminist and hippie and fat. First time we hang out her best friend calls me a boring faggot because we're not sharing spit yet. She gets a nice neutered beta boyfriend, we hang out again. She's okay with cucking her bf. NOPE. Also, have to initiate every fucking thing. 3 months after the fact she gives me a birthday present. I'm thinking "bitch, i don't want a birthday present, i just want you to initiate some conversation bc it seems you don't give a shit". And all these damn fights about sexual objectivication made me sick.
>>16730115
>>16730115
Third girl is so fucking precious, i'll admit i went too fucking far. But really this shit. So i stalked this lonely sack of shit hipster. Shy as fuck if she doesn't get intoxicated. Smokes a metric ton of weed and want's to be an artist. Whatever, she's a cute shy attentionwhore, just my type of fucked.
>Find out where she lives
>Stalk her IRL near her house
>First time she's kinda scared but intrigued, yell she did a "great job kid"; calls me a brony faggot on twitter (I'm fit, 6'2'', good hygiene, just a dress-shirt and jeans + sneakers. no fedora). Apparently she saw it as an insult.
>Second time her friend tells me to fuck off.
>Third time she practically runs out of the door to buy some tomatoes, broad smile ear to ear.
>xth to yth time she's all "let's get married and make 20 babies" too scared to speak again.
So in my dumb obsession (or infatuation) i'm thinking this is going somewhere. Nope, nothing of the sort. Her friend either tells me to fuck off or she's too scare to come talk.
The last time i really stalked her, it was dark and raining, she first pretended to call the police, put on her jacket (didn't come outside) took it off, opened her curtains, and just kept sitting there in front of her window. I mean, i'm happy to oblige this princess and eat her out all night, but i wasn't willing to catch pneumonia just to admire a sorta ugly girl (coming off my infatuation).
Had an offday, stalked her one last time. And now she and her friend are like (come bakkk *girl* needs someone nice like uuu). Jesus christ, i've cucked myself for this little vixen.
My girlfriend is amazing and I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, but she's trapped living in the same town because she's obligated to care for her disabled sister with cerebral palsy. I want nothing more to help her get away from it and see the world like she's always wanted, but I don't know if we'll ever be able to until her sister passes.
I don't know what to do. I'm angry at her parents for trapping her in this situation, but I'm also scared I'll end up trapped by her circumstances too.
I constantly feel the urge to unblock my ex gf, message her telling that i forgive her and i want to stay friends, make her comfortable for a month or something and then slap her with "you naive dumb bitch did you believe that i'd forgive you after what you did?" Like seriously, if she makes a move on me i'm 100% sure i'm doing this without any regrets.
Im in an LDR i cant bear the feeling of not being able to hug her
what did she do?
>>16730181
you're asking me >>16730177 ?
>>16730144
Now we're going to rant about girl -1 and 0.
GIRL 0 , this is real gold right here. Right from the start i saw her i just wanted to ravage this thin blonde. She had no tits but whatever. So we talk and talk and talk and we're playing footsy she's like "just platonic, no lust" and i'm thinking "sure whatever, this'll change right, we'll share spit at some point". Turn out she's xtian. That's okay, fine. We keep talking, this girl keeps dolling herself up more and more, wears these cutest little heels, her hair all perfect. She keeps pushing me away and making me sad. At some point it literally felt right to rape her, and i think she would have consented, but i wasn't half the man i'm now.
Stalk her later on, find some cute video of her signing. Liked and subscribed her channel. She subtly let's me know i'm her #1 and she's still a virgin. Like literally, going against her verbal wishes would've been the better alternative. I'd probably be married to her right now if i had just forced myself on her.
Girl -1, fuck girl -1. Literally spent a year trying to court this upperclass amazon via MSN messenger. She's getting dicked by literally every guy in town and keeping me on a fucking leash. Wants to be an actress, too ugly to an actress (i'm fuck yeah). If i ever meet her, i'll consensually rape her and quit it.
I wish i had a real fucking dad (not the pussyass wankwizard dad i have) who could've told me these kinds of things baka. Welp, not mad anymore, time to hit the sack.
>>16730130
I got currency and a job in the best field. Just need to find myself a bitch before i'm that one guy who wakes up at 40 and discovers there are other things in life than work.
I miss that man, I miss the man I fell in love with.
I'm so fucking in love with him. But he'll never be as in love with me as I am with him.
2 of my friends fucked the ex I was getting back together with. Now she's seeing one of them and I want to smash the fucker but my other friends just want to sweep it all under the rug. Always being stuck doing what other people want out of fear of not being liked is seriously pushing me. I'm getting nothing from it but disrespect and dishonesty. What should I do?
>>16729989
initials
I don't know if I should message you, but I guess you would have messaged me if you wanted to talk
There's only one thing bugging me, why did you call me last week to make plans and then went no contact for what, six days already? I dunno, buddy, don't you have any respect at all towards your friends/classmates?
>>16730188
Dude just click the no. in the post so we will know who you're responding to.
Let's keep it short. Bitch wanted us to get back, i agreed. It was LDR, and she insisted every fucking day for a whole month that i come and live with her. Bought the ticket, sold my stuff so i could have some money. She kept saying that she's "so happy" and "she loves me so much" 1 Week later, she basically tells me she had a talk with her ex-bf and right now she doesn't know what to do with us. I'm like wtf. She swears that she doesnt want to go back to him, but she wants to cut the ties and since i was involved (fuck yeah bitch involved me on her own, nobody asked me if i wanted to participate in that shit) she's reluctant to do it. We agree to try to figure things out. Next day i get a message on a fucking facebook that she can't do this, and it's over. I'm like fuck it, do whatever you want. Again fastforward for 1 week, she asks me if we could talk on skype. She's like "i don't want to lose you from my life" and "could we leave this as it is, and maybe someday come back to it?" Got fucking triggered, but kept my cool. Next fucking day i AGAIN get a facebook message that she apparently cant do it, and all that shit. Kept silent, told her if she's an adult she has to say it, not write it on facebook like a fucking child. She agreed, we were set and she fucking ignored that. That was it for me. Gave her the taste of her own medicine, wrote a message about what i'm thinking about her and what she's doing (no insults, just my point of view) and blocked the shit out of her. 1 Hour later her fucking friend calls me and starts threating me with court and all that shit. Like seriously, i'm out for blood right now.
Even if I could hold a conversation, I feel it's impossible to speak with people in such different mindsets.
People who actually have some energy left. How the fuck can I ever relate to these people?
I'll never meet a fellow dead man.
>>16724732
Seriously? You're ignoring another message? wtf is your problem? Why are you turning this into some sort passive-aggressive game? Im sorry i removed you but there was literally no reason i did that other than jealousy, you seem to be projecting other intents onto it or something. If you're not into me, you're not into me, no big deal, but at least for the sake of courtesy don't leave me hanging like this, as friend. Who does this shit? Idk why i even messaged you to be honest, you do this shit to everyone from what i can see. Are you one of those super insecure dickheads that just wants attention from people no matter how it makes the person feel? If so then fuck you, I dont even want to continue a friendship after this.
>>16730379
Wait, are you one of those "let's stay friends" after relationship people? What the fuck are you thinking, eh?
>>16730383
I have never been in a relationship with this person, and they have expressed interest, which is what makes it frustrating. I guess they're just playing games like everyone else in the dating world these days... People.
You are not welcome inside my head. GET OUT! I don't want to be infatuated with you. I never did. Why do you think I pretended not to see you for 8 years? You are a cunning bastard. A beautiful glorious one, but still. I WANT TO MOVE ON.
>>16730387
Okay, taking my words back then. Just cut the drama, ignore, block, whatever. If it would make you feel better give that person an earful and move on. Thing is you gave this person more credit of trust than he/she deserved. We all done that, there's nothing wrong with it. Take it as a lesson and next time be more careful.
>>16730234
Do yourself a favor and never speak to her or her friends again. You gotta remove yourself from shit like that and never look back. Dealing with people like that will fuck your brain up. Trust me man, too many women out there to focus effort on one crazy ho.
>>16730405
It was the removing as a friend that caused the drama in the first place, I don't know why she cared about the removal if she didn't care about me. She just wants another admirer it seems, someone to feed her delicate ego.
>>16730416
We have all been in your situation man. You lost nothing of value.
>>16730413
That's what i'm doing, cut the ties and went on a rampage with my friends. Partying, hanging out in places and stuff. I'm perfectly fine, but sending her dog after me made made me want to obliterate her. I have no clue why she did that, but i'm a kind of guy who will jump on your head if you stain my pride. Maybe it's childish, but that's how i work.
>>16730423
You're right. I just sent her a message and removed her and told her basically what I did in the post. I'm sure she'll say she had no idea and all that, but whatever, I don't care about her excuses anymore, I'm not gonna have my emotions leeched away from me by someone who clearly has no regard for other people.
>>16730442
Block her too. Just do it, you will thank me later.
>>16730442
Exactly, as long as she is in your life you will continue to feel like shit. Having people in your life like that is like having a poison in your body, you'll never feel good again until you purge that shit and work on your recovery. Good luck bro.
>>16724732
"...and every little thing my chink ex does, leaves me answered with a question mark."
Drinking too much lately, haven't worked at all this year, got divorced last year because she put her hands on my kid (couldn't control her temper) and left me NO choice... I have a business but am not very good at being a 'go getter' or making money so I barely get by most of the time. I play in a band, write music and do a lot of 'artistic stuff' but I still empty and hollow inside (mostly). What to do? I feel like I don't agree with most people most of the time anymore about anything. It is hard to stick to the script when you don't believe the story... All hail Discordia!
>>16729772
Initials?
I really wanted to spend this public holiday with my bf seeing as though last year he was overseas but apparently being a gf means absolutely jack shit.
It would be fucking fantastic if he stopped avoiding me and just got it over and done with.
It would also be fucking great if he stopped lying to me when he says he 'loves' me. It's pretty fucking obvious he doesn't and we both know it.
I've always loved him more than he apparently loves me.
He doesn't love me and I question if he ever did, and he never will.
He's going to shatter my already broken heart, again, anyway.
>>16730750
you either:
a) move on
b) stay with him and keep whining about it
Your chocie sweetie.
>>16730209
She's a cunt, your friends are dbags. If you have any respect for yourself move on and find someone else. Invite them all to dinner, get there first, have a cocktail to chill. When the server comes to take your food order make sure you are on the last sip of your drink. You want to order last ok, when the server asks you what you'd like say I'd like to say goodbye to three fucking morons, finish your drink, exit stage left.
He was around all afternoon before class for seemingly no reason. I imagine there was nobody else to hang out with, or maybe his excuse was true and it was too hot inside (but I'm less inclined to believe this, it wasn't too hot and he tends to feel cold, not hot) but I'm still going to bed with a smile on my face because there's a tiny, tiny, tiiiiny chance it was because of me. He also talked and looked at me more. Or maybe it was just my imagination.
I'm fine with it either way, I'm enjoying this. I really like him.
I have 3 friends, they all live far away because I've moved and haven't seen them in two years. I'm lonely. they never call me. never. I always have called them. once I stopped it was almost as if I'd ceased to exist.
fuck everyone. the only person I need is myself I guess.
i have so much to say and i cant express it properly.. but maybe this'll help...
i know you feel bad because of how you treated me earlier, even though i brought it on myself, i feel a different kind of guilt that you felt that you needed to apologize. i don't know though, were you saying what you were saying to be hateful, or were you unaware of what you were truly doing? either-way, we both feel like shit, so let's just feel like shit together.
you had me terrified this afternoon though.. you got the honesty you wanted and then needed to "think" about some things, saying that if i didn't know that you truly loved me then you were just wasting your time.. well, guess what chicken butt, it's your doing that brought the ideas in my head by the way you were talking to me today. deep down i know you do love me, though, but you have to remember i hear voices all the time and they tell me cruel things.. most of them pertaining to you and how you truly feel about me.
i don't know..
i cried myself to sleep, this i won't tell you.
i don't know why my emotions are doing what they're doing, because in my eyes, you should be the one who is angry, crying, etc but instead it's me. it's me crying like a little bitch every time we talk... hell, i'm not looking forward to tomorrow only because i'm scared that i'll cry in front of you and make you feel worse. i swear, i'm not trying to make this ALL ABOUT MEEEEE - i just.. i can't ... HORMONES, MOTHERFUCKER.
sigh...
Tomorrow, Erin, I'm going to stop being a pussy and break up with you.
I need to. I can't take this loneliness anymore.
This unrequited relationship, is the worst kind of cage.
>>16731195
Initials?
>>16728175
I'm bored as fuck. Want company?
>>16731210
Also the Erin I know hates this place, so if you're here, you aren't her.
>>16731230
Jesus, man, don't scare me like that. That's an uncommon name.
Best of luck, hope you sort your situation out.
>>16731248
Sorry I startled you.
Yeah, tomorrow'll sort itself out, come hell or high water.
Got a job interview tomorrow. If I do get the job, what's the best way to quit my current job without burning too many bridges?
I want to do heroine. I want to do heroine. I want to do heroine. I need to find something to snort soon or I'm going to give in and get it. Drunk isn't enough. I need to escape this place. Where did you go? I need you to tell me no. When did I get like this?
I spent so long browsing forgot what I was gonna bitch about.
>>16731278
Heroin.
I have a bun, two pins, and a bro to do it with.
At least I have friends and money, even if she is gone.
Don't do it, brother, I hate my life, now.
I just fucked my relationship up I feel like a big piece of shit, I will never met a girl like you. This is the saddest I've ever felt about myself and I deserve it. I wish I can fix things up but is up to you. Waiting for your answer will be hell for me you know how impatient I am. I am really sorry and I will always be. I hate myself.
>>16731274
two weeks notice
>>16724732
I cant start liking you now. fuck you. youre a horrible person. but we click so god damn well. i know for a fact that youre gonna be famous one day and the girl im with now wont be. i sometimes wish i had chosen you instead. but i know it wouldve gone differently than expected. right?...
>>16729691
>girls
>plural
you must be new
>>16730826
yeah except dont do this because youll look like an overly dramatic fag.
just tell your bro that was fucked up. a real friend will understand. dont be a pussy.
I wish I could feel drunk all the time.
I love you guys. lol
>>16731513
Initials?
>>16731651
Story behind you, op?
I don't know if I'm in love with my girlfriend of about four years anymore. We don't even have sex because she's depressed and self-conscious and has no sex drive anymore. I'm so sexually frustrated and around girls that I could conceivably have casual sexually relationships with, as I'm in an open relationship, but my girlfriend is so needy that she constantly needs me around to hang out with her and not do anything else, so I can't have the chance to do anything with anyone else.
I kind of feel like my life is coming out of my control. I'm fucking up school a bit, not trying as hard as I should be, and I'm a very sexually person, and masturbation doesn't cut it after a while. I haven't just plain made out with a cute girl in a while.
If anyone has advice, I'm willing to hear it. I know I should probably just break up with my gf, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I leave her. She doesn't really have anyone else, and I still care about her. But we also bicker almost every day, and I'm getting sick of that as well.
Hurting right now, so I wanna take it out on somebody else which isn't fair.
Sucks that it has to be my first Australia day off work in five years and nothing to do and my car is fucked. Fuckity fuck
Fuck you britney, take some fucking advice you dumb idiot.
>>16731663
Honestly dude, breaking up isn't just good for you, but also good for her. It could be the wake up call she needs to re-think her ways and understand that her actions don't result in a happy, functioning relationship. She'll only continue to behave this way, she won't change for you.
You will be happier when you take control of your life and start afresh, and she may find it more grounding when she bounces back to her friends/family/whoever was there for her before there was you and she can re-start her life again and re-evaluate where she's going. Good luck man. I know it really sucks to hurt her and you know she'll get super depressed, but she'll get past it. Just block her number if you're worried she'll do a "if you leave me I'll hurt myself!" thing. Been there, done that. Honestly best thing you ever do.
I love you bro.
C,
I guess I need to face the fact that I need more affection and security than you can/ are willing to provide.
>>16731657
Not OP but,I am in a ldr and everything was ok. Last Thursday I came to visit my girlfriend. The first 2 days were great. But my girlfriend or ex I don't really now right now. She have depression and she can't have sex that often. Last Saturday I got drunk and tried to had sex with her she obviously turned me down and I got mad because of it. I haven't seen her since October and it was difficult to me handling with that. My reaction was really selfish and stupid. I basically said that who am I going to fuck if she can't. She got really mad at me. I spent that night in the couch. Sunday and today have been really bad. And I know it's all my fault. Today I'm going back home and I don't know what's going to happen. But this feeling is the worst I had, she is really great and I know I will never meet anyone like her I just hope that she forgives me but I havd little hope about it. I feel like shit and I deserve it.
>>16731699
You do deserve it, what a shitty fucking trashy thing to say to your 'girlfriend'. What, so she's your fucking toy? Go jack off to your loli shit, you fucking fgt.
I hope she ends you.
>>16731732
I'm pretty sure she will, I will regret this forever.
>>16731678
>Been there, done that.
explain
bunch of selfish fucks think you can go around loving people and leaving as if it doesn't make a mark on them? It's much more sensitive to people with a mental illness so don't date them if you can't handle it and don't know what you're getting into.
Fuck you.
>>16731750
Good, now cut off your dick and post pics.
Then you'll be forgiven.
when i told you that i was "done crying" over this, it wasn't intended to say that i'm off the hook and everything is fine.. i'm just tired of feeling sorry for myself and are ready to take responsibility for my actions.
no, there is no one else in my life. I know it'll take some time for you to understand that, if you ever do, but thank you for being so patient with me and not packing your shit and leaving me; i was so terrified this evening and i don't know who you talked to, but, keep going to them... they're giving you grand advice.
i love you, Joseph.
>>16731278
It's still using, but try codeine instead. The two are very similar in terms of the high but, relatively speaking, codeine is safer than heroin.
>>16731341
Story of my fucking life anon.
I just want to make friends with a girl my own age who treats me as an equal. I have mostly hung out with boys my whole life. And for a while was even panicked to talk to other girls because of judgment and insecurities. I just never shared their dating problems or boy problems. I never shared the drama or if there is one girl who wanted be alpha (which there always is) I wouldn't bend to their will.
I just want some one to chill with. I'm married so preferably they have a stable relationship too. I just feel like I fucked up in a major way. Partly because I have stubborn values that have fucked myself from getting along with my own gender. I really want to put myself out there this year and hopefully make a friend...but who knows.
I've been in an existential crisis for almost a year all because of me sperging out and not taking a chance with a girl that I knew like me.
And after all this time I realized how fucked up it was to fret over that for so long and that there were so many more important things to give my attention to.
I actually feel good for once.
I still miss you. Might find a way to get in contact with you in the future. Maybe not. All I want is another chance. But maybe that's not the best idea.
You fucked me up, cut me off, never spoke to me again and I somehow still miss you. How fucked up is that. I borderline hate myself for missing you, why should I? You ghosted me.
>>16731667
I feel you anon.
I'm home alone with nothing to do on Australia day too.
My bf ditched me, after basically saying we might do something, to have a bbq with his mates (didn't get to spend last year together either), and my parents are at a family friend's.
I'm bored af and there's literally nothing to do.
>>16731814
I'm a grill and you sound like you're my type of friend tbqh.
I just feel so empty. On the surface I do want a gf. But inside I think I'll just be a burden to her with how hollow I honestly feel right now. Am I just scared to start dating again? Is that's what's going on? Sure the last gf sucked horribly but why am I letting that affect me? Or IS it affecting me? That was over a year ago now.
I don't even want to masturbate anymore. I don't know what I want from a girl anymore. This honestly feels worse when I was just begging for a gf. At least I had a goal, although a shitty one but still it was something to look forward to. Now I just don't care anymore.
I've met some wonderful friends as time went on and they've been very supportive. So at the very least I know I won't commit suicide. It'd just be disrespectful to them, let alone my family.
I just don't know. I want a gf but I don't want to put her through my hollowness. It'd be awful to do to some poor girl out there.
i want to be able to scream without anyone asking "WHAT'S WRONG??" - I have so much pent up anger and stress that I know screaming would help, but, people won't leave me alone to take care of what I need to take care of. Fuck.
Just FUCKING let me talk and chat and joke with other girls, okay? I'm bored with you but that doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore.
>>16725555
quads checks out
Another thing do not follow pompous surfer hipster with his dumbass haircut.
M. I know how you feel. Honestly, I feel the same way. More accurately, I guess you're in the "I'd be down if we were on the same continent" zone. I might take the plunge, but I gotta think about it.
However, as I grow fonder towards you, I get more concerned about you're interest in astrology, the law of attraction and other new agey claptrap. I like you a lot, and it's hard to watch someone I deeply care about fall for a scam. John Hagelin is a charlatan. Transcendental meditation is a sham, look into mindfulness instead. Astrology has no evidence. Your idol is Carl Sagan for christ's sake, he has a whole rant on all this.
>>16732066
Yeah those guys will be like, "Dude don't sit next to those emo kids!" also there was douchey who was the guy "Who fucking sat at the damn goth table and put his head down to mock the shit out of every one of those guys. Mean what the fuck were they going to do?" There are going to be pieces of shit no matter wht. Then there was another asshole who laughed next door at the mentally disabled. Mean as ever. Then you got an asswipe druggie laughing at the Arab kid.
So yeah do not follow these guys, they are pricks. Jad who isa awesome dealt with these pricks in his life and had to stand up to them. You'll be happy. Right now I am happy. I mean fuck assholes
>>16732053
Initials?
>>16732053
Break it off yo
Cheated on my wife, the first woman I have ever been with sexually and my partner for over 10 years.
It all happened so strange. I planned it without any form of doubt or hesitation. I looked for a girl online and went with it... It almost feels surreal how it happened.
A little backstory: I was never a sexual person. I enjoyed sex with my then girlfriend, now wife, and that was it. We weren't freaky or kinky, just plain old sex. The problem was probably that she didn't really enjoy it, she was even less sexual than me. She didn't always orgasm and it put a bit of strain on our sexlife.
Occasionally there would be awesome moments where she was also into it, she'd put on nice lingerie and we'd go at it for a few hours and we'd both orgasm a few times. These moments were few and far in between and each time they happened, they awakened something in me. They left me hungry for more of these moments and I just couldn't handle the rejection every time I propositioned sex to her. I grew to resent sex with her, except when she initiated.
After handling rejection for over 2 months I was sick of it. I thought to myself, sexual death at 28 is not worth it, but I built up a life with her... I have children with her... I cannot throw it out the window! Or can I?
I took the risk. I went online and searched and searched. And after 2 months of searching I finally found a woman.
She's married, with a husband that is away a lot. The husband encouraged her to go through with finding someone online and to experiment while he is away. She was a Hotwife.
Weeks went by with chatting online. I never told her I was married. I never told her I had kids. She never asked.
cont.
>>16732222
Finally the day of the meet happened and it was amazing. I was so confident with her and she was so shy. It took about 2 hours of talking and walking for her to be comfertable with me, I was charismatic and totally normal. She was akward but nice and sweet. An amazing body. I didn't feel the need for sex, it was just nice to talk to another woman for once... But we ended up at her place anyway and things became hot and heavy.
She probably thought I did this a lot, going back to womens places for a good time while in reality, she was the first woman I have ever been with next to my wife. She claims I was her first man other than her husband.
The sex was amazing, I never knew I could make a woman squirm like that. I made her orgasm so many times I couldn't keep count. I couldn't believe my stamina. I think something inside of me just snapped and thought "here is my chance to shine". She liked it rough so I indulged her and ended up liking it as well. We had sex for about 3 hours and then just say laid there, talked about stuff and cuddled. I wanted more but she was so soar that I'd just feel bad if I pushed her. I'd like to think I wasn't pushy at all and made her feel comfterable with me and her amazing body.
We talked about hooking up again in the future and how nice it was. Then I left.
The shame didn't hit me until 2 days after. Not the shame for cheating on my wife, (that came later) but the shame for lying to this amazing young woman. For not telling her I was married and what I was doing. For not being honest to the woman I broke the sanctity of marriage with. In the end, it wasn't just good sex but it was being with a wonderful person that I made a connection with, and it is all based on a lie.
I've been sick to my stomach for days now. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about the lies.
I'm such a scumbag.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to marry a girl I met online from Indonesia. I want regular sex and someone who accepts my hobbies.
Dating women in Australia is pointless
I've been feeling like complete and utter shit for a week and you didn't give a flying fuck, not even acknowledging my existence 90% pf the time, and acting like I'm nothing to you.
Now you're apparently feeling like shit, and you seriously expect me to come ruining at the drop of a hat as if nothing happened and you haven't been treating me like shit?
Right.
You're lucky I actually love you.
>>16732222
>>16732228
Someone please tell me that I'm a douchebag.
>>16732222
>>16732228
Say absolutely nothing. Get the best lawyer you can and divorce your wife on grounds of suspected infidelity (since apparently she doesn't want to have sex with you, she's obviously been fucking somebody else).
>>16732428
>cheating
Goes without saying anon.
>>16732444
Quoting this for archive reference.
I feel dead, but then again, I never felt alive in the first place.
Almost jumped under a train the other day. Don't know what stopped me.
>>16728676
i wrote a detailed response at first but then realized you might actually be the person. so i deleted it.
so here it is without details:
I'm sorry for how i treated you. i still think about you. i still get lonely and anxious and depressed.
my family is well. i still live in the same city.
I'm sorry again
I know we won't ever be with each other again, we ended on an okay note, and even though I haven't messaged or talked to you in a while just know I love you.
I'm keeping my distance because I care about you more than I care to breath. You feel the same way which is why we can never speak again. He can give you a better life than I can.
Just know that I'm doing what you said and making my life better. Even if it's difficult without you in it, without your laughter, your warmth that calms me, and your constant never judging attitude. I'm making myself better because of the love you gave me. And for that, I'll push on to make you happy. I'll push on because I love you.
You'll always be the one, even if that means I have to go on with my life alone.
I'm a suicidal wreck
Get over yourself I say under my breath, when I get annoyed with the thoughts in my head.
I don’t deserve to say I’m sad, I don’t know what sadness is.
I’m nothing more than complaints from a dumb spoilt kid.
I crave love, I crave attention,
and I hate myself for this.
I’m embarrassed by my depression,
when I put things in perspective
It felt good, having finally built up some confidence. For the first time I felt like I was actually a worthwhile human being. In fact, I felt like I was better than everyone else. I saw myself as a god, above all else. It felt good.
But of course they have to destroy everything. I'm back at square one. Pieces of shits gotta ruin everything, don't they?
Truth is my mind isn't stable enough. There's never a good balance.
I always wanted to be superior to everyone else. I wanted to look down on everyone and know that I'll always be better than they'll ever be. This makes me vulnerable to jealousy to those that are better of than myself. Those that have it easier in life. I want to take everything that matters away from them and make their lives miserable.
Earlier I tried cutting a burrito in half without taking off the aluminum foil first, coating the burrito with tiny metal filaments.
Why do I destroy everything I touch?
I'm not disciplined. 3rd time retaking this philosophy course at community college and I'm going to fail it. Didn't do any work at all. That's it, no more repeating it. Used up all my chances since 3 is the limit. All that money wasted that wasn't even mine. All those other classes I have failed. I feel so pathetic. Just seeing my mom's face when she thinks I'm doing well makes me despair. I haven't slept well in a year. Always up until 5 a.m, mind racing with thoughts of failure and lies. Only when I'm really deprived of sleep is when I have that lapse of "peace" but it's bullshit, and I wake up like I haven't rested.
God I'm pathetic.
>>16732653
Not having discipline is the worst feeling in the world. I feel for you my friend. I am the same way and it sucks. I can't say anything to make you feel better, just know you aren't the only one. You'll get there eventually.
>>16732667
That's reassuring anon. Thanks.
>>16732682
Why are ther eno Update and Refresh buttons on this board and why can't I write post by just typing on someone else's post number?
anons talk to me
I was hoping to lose five lbs by mid-February, but I've already lost four lbs in the past week. I am aware that weight fluctuates, but I am feeling pretty confident that I'm going to exceed that goal. It feels really good. I'm goddamn tired of being overweight and hating my body.
me too I weigh 750 pounds and I eat mcdonalds everyday cry for me
>>16724761
don't do this to yourself anon.
>>16732446
No. She just isn't a sexual person. It happens.
>>16732447
Clearly.
But why do I feel bad for lying to a girl I cheated with, instead of cheating on my wife? Is this some fucked up joke?
Who paid to get all those prison tattoos removed? Must have cost some bucks.
You must be a good little whore to get these sweet deals.
>>16724732
Im a coward and I wanna kill myself.
Nothing I type is safe
Nothing I say is safe
Nowhere I go is safe
There are eyes all around me
collecting more and more details
so that the very instant I'm not playing the game right
they will crush me with their hate.
they will crush me with their words.
I have no life left, no autonomy.
These fine lines I walk have taken my freedom and I am trapped. I would much rather be alone, than to be an experimental rat.
I wanna fuck a girl who I hang out with but I feel guilty cuz I have a girlfriend and don't wanna hurt her
I really shouldn't wish death on anyone even my worst enemy but i can't wait till you do everyone a favor and die you fucking twat and no you won't be missed fucking cunt.
The things I hear on r9k is starting to make sense to me now
