Hi, /adv/. I'm looking for advice on how to cope with some of my relatives' lack of tact.
You can bash on me for being weeaboo trash and all that, but I find that bit irrelevant right now. Thing is, anime and manga have gotten me interested in Japan and Japanese culture. I decided to learn more about it, starting with the language, so I can read Japanese books and of course, manga [from the source and stuff] too.
So I've been looking for a course and while in a car trip with my mom and my aunt, my mom started reading Japanese proverbs she found online. The way she read it was with exaggerated entonation where it'd amuse her, which I thought was fine, she's not into any of it, but my aunt started taking the jokes further.
She asked me why I wanted a course if I could correct my mom's [overdone] pronunciation. I explained it was different from comprehension and being able to read ideograms. "what ideograms?" "I gotta start with hiragana and katakana, I guess". Since, in Portuguese, "kana" sounds like "cana"(sugar cane), she starts making jokes around it.
"I didn't know you wanted to study sugar cane". I called her out about making fun of something I'm into in the past, and I did so again at the time, but it isn't helping.
It'd be okay if I didn't have to deal with her sense of humor, but even after I moved states, she insists on calling me and making fun of things I like.
Any way I can work around this? I thought moving away would help me get rid of two toxic relatives(aunt and sister), but apparently not.
>>16660036
I dealt with that as well when living at home. There's not much you can do. They are idiots.
Do you have any idea how annoying weeaboos can be? Your complete obsession with Japan is probably awkward as fuck. Not saying they''re in the right but most weeaboos grow out of it to feel embarrassed.
>>16660036
>"I didn't know you wanted to study sugar cane".
This is just a typical lame "dad joke." If you're getting really bothered by this, instead of taking it for what it is and making another lame joke back at her, you're being a baby.
>she insists on calling me and making fun of things I like.
Can you give more examples? Because this sounds rather tame.
Give other examples. From what you've just told, mom is just trying to be funny, not being derisive.
>stop being such a little bitch
>talk about your problem with them
>cut contact if you don't want them in your life
>>16660036
Dude it's just family. It's what they do. A little ball bust every now and then keeps us on top of things. Screw with them back, but in a fun way. Like hide your mom's keys and tell her the location in Japanese.
You sound like a stiff guy OP
>>16660057
I'm aware people around me aren't interested in the same things I am, so I don't really bring it up. I try not to bother others, and I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with Japan to the same degree of people featured in cringe threads, for example.
>>16660060
In the beginning, I tried returning the joke. My aunt listens to gospel(I think that's the word?) music, religious and all, which is all I could think of to do the same. However, making fun of her religious beliefs would most likely upset her, so instead I shrugged it off.
It seems like I can't throw any lame jokes back, so I feel cornered. Once or twice a month, fine, but this sort of thing happens whenever we talk.
>Can you give more examples?
Yesterday I was installing Debian on my laptop when she called me. Here's a transcript(translated to English as best I could):
>A: hey, what are you doing?
>M: installing something on my laptop, what's up?
>A: what are you installing?
>M: a Linux distro, why do you ask?
>A: Linux sucks, I tried it once a long time ago
>M: so why are you calling me?
>A: I'm just checking on you. You should get a life, stop messing with nerd stuff.
>M: we've been through this, please don't start a fight. I'm hanging up if you don't have anything worthwhile to say
>A: why are you so rude? If it weren't for me you wouldn't be who you are today
>M: rude?
>A: no, smart
>M: I attribute that to my teachers and textbooks, you just took me to school, up to when I was 6, and for that, thanks, but since you didn't pay for any of it and--
>A: call me when you've cooled off
>she hangs up
>>16660098
Also wtf is this green text?
>>16660108
So you find her sense of humor annoying. Don´t act like you´re some kind of victim. Try lightening up. You´re only making things awkward by being so hostile to her.
>>16660098
I talked to them multiple times, and I mentioned it in the OP.
>>16660103
I don't think repeatedly making fun of someone's interests is nice at all. If that makes me stiff, I see nothing wrong with that. I like humor, but not when it involves genuinely pissing other people off.
>>16660108
Dude your aunt seems chill af. Plus, that is good advice. Have nerd indulgences after making sure you have real human interactions at the very least.
Also Linux does suck.
>>16660122
You're letting it piss you off. Don't take yourself so seriously.
>>16660108
>A: I'm just checking on you. You should get a life, stop messing with nerd stuff.
>M: we've been through this, please don't start a fight. I'm hanging up if you don't have anything worthwhile to say
>A: why are you so rude? If it weren't for me you wouldn't be who you are today
>M: rude?
>A: no, smart
>M: I attribute that to my teachers and textbooks, you just took me to school, up to when I was 6, and for that, thanks, but since you didn't pay for any of it and--
>A: call me when you've cooled off
>she hangs up
Okay, I can see how this would aggravate you. If you're in school or have a job, and you're not relying on her for support, then she has no business telling you what to do with your hobbies.
My advice: Don't answer her calls. She'll either flip her shit on you, which gives you all the more reason to ignore her, or take the hint.
>>16660122
That leaves you with two other steps. Like, you already sound like an overly sensitive fag and make life harder than it needs to be for yourself ... but changing that is hard.
Why would you still keep in touch with people who trigger you? Just instantly hang up and ignore their calls.
>>16660036
you know how stupid these guys look to normal people? That's how stupid you look to normal people too.
Seriously.
You, and your weebo bullshit, look at retarded to the general population as hitler youth, or people doing blackface at a charity fundraiser. It's find that you're into it, but you look like fucking retards.
Now, you're asking how to get your family to stop making fun of you for doing something so stupid that you look like a doofus? How about you start thinking about how stupid you look, and accept that if you choose to walk around dressed like Elmo all day, or base your life choices on fucking Smurfs, they'd also think you're a retard.
>>16660126
I admit I don't have any close friends, but I talk to people in college. I have issues with intimacy, but I'm not looking for advice on that right now. Perhaps getting rid of everyday frustrations would encourage me to be more outgoing and eventually make friends?
>>16660135
>>16660142
She picks up the phone when I talk to my grandparents. They just go "your aunt wants to talk to you".
>>16660164
>She picks up the phone when I talk to my grandparents. They just go "your aunt wants to talk to you".
Then make it clear to them that you don't want to talk to her, but if she insists, hang up immediately.
>>16660164
>Perhaps getting rid of everyday frustrations would encourage me to be more outgoing and eventually make friends?
It certainly wouldn't hurt. If she's constantly putting you down for the things you enjoy, then your self-esteem must be quite low. Stand up for yourself by essentially blacklisting her, then be proud of yourself for not being a doormat.
>>16660164
Maybe the reason you don't have close friends is because you take shit like this so personally? I'm not saying that to be rude, just throwing it out there. A therapist could help you connect better with people.
>>16660161
If you read up on this thread, I mentioned I don't bring any of it up. You can say I'm a closet weeaboo, I guess. There's nothing about my appearance or behaviour outside an otaku context that makes me look like a weeb.
Here's the thing OP. I'm used to be the same as you. This is not about them being assholes but us having issues with intimacy, acceptance and sensitivity. You'll grow out of it when you're older. In the mean time try taking things less personally and understand that this is just old people trying to be funny.
>>16660181
A doormat? And thanks for being understanding. Blacklisting her is fine, but I'll have to cope with my grandfather's 30min-long speeches about how family is important once I say "I don't want to talk to her", like >>16660172 suggests.
>>16660182
I've seen one in the past, but right now I'd rather fill what time I have left in my schedule with the Japanese course, rather than a therapist. You, >>16660197 and most of the others have a point about me taking things personally. It doesn't help that this happens often.
Look OP, most people aren't serious about weeb/weeb land. Your aunt probably thinks you're being funny and so pokes fun at it. Same with your mom. The easiest way this could have been avoided would have been to just speak up assertively e.g. "Come on I don't want to hear this shit I'm serious."
You'd look like a weeb, but at least you'd get the message across.
Since you let this go on, though, be more tactful about your retorts. In your aunt's eyes you're getting worked up over a joke. Find something she's mildly interested and make fun of it. You said she's religious so work with that. "Come on Aunt Anon, what would Jesus do?" (Just an example don't actually use that)
>>16660219
>"What would Jesus do?"
Cracked me up.
I didn't say anything along the lines of "I'm serious about this", only "your jokes aren't funny and I'd like you not to make fun of me". Maybe I'm using the wrong words?
>>16660213
>Blacklisting her is fine, but I'll have to cope with my grandfather's 30min-long speeches about how family is important once I say "I don't want to talk to her", like >>16660172 (You) suggests.
Then let him know what she's doing, and that you've tried talking to her about it. That you won't speak to her until she 1) apologizes, and 2) stops bullying you.
>>16660241
>Maybe I'm using the wrong words?
You're not being assertive enough. She needs to know that you mean business.
>>16660243
Will do this next time it happens, and next time she calls me. Thanks.
Dirty weeb scum
>>16660036
How often do you practice your hand jutsus? It must be tough living with such baka gaijan trash.
Fuck you weeaboo scum.
>>16660249
This BUT at the same time indulge her in her antics. Make her laugh at herself and you might enjoy laughing at yourself too.
>>16660332
Can you elaborate on indulging her in her antics? I don't get what you mean by that, sorry.
>>16660347
She probably thinks she's just having a good time with you and doesn't make the connection between you being upset and her teasing. Just tease her back for fun and it should ease things between you two.
