So before I start, I'm a social person. I can get phone numbers, and I can hold conversations with attractive people. I like to use a lot of humour and roundabout conversation, flying from topic to topic.
My job requires me to be athletic and dress well, so I have confidence in myself and think I look pretty alright.
But when it comes to texting, I suck balls with a bendy straw. Every time I text someone, I don't know how to approach it. Should I be humorous or serious; use proper grammar and punctuation or "lol nuzzle u ;3"? Are there certain times not to use emojis? If a chick is using them every message, should I in response?
This shit gets to the point where when I go on Tinder, I'll get hits from good looking women and I either plan my messages for minutes at a time, don't know how to progress or leave no reply at all. I'm tired of getting my hopes up with hot women and fucking up something I could easily handle in person. I never would have thought flirting through text would be so difficult. I'm missing the days of landlines and phone calls.
Any advice on improving my text/messaging game? If you can afford to help me out, I'd appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
I FEEL YOU
>>16636807
Match your syntax to the seriousness of the message. I do this on 4chan with my posts all the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn22q5xU_HQ
>>16636895
Could you give me an example?
>>16636807
>"Plz respond"
Never fails, OP!
>>16636937
I typically just send them a dick pic with the caption "U WANT DIS?" If they fail to respond positively then I just keep resending it, slightly increasing the zoom each time.
>>16636895
This, and it also depends on the person I'm talking to and the way they type and our relationship.
e.g if it's professional or if I'm having a serious conversation, it'll be with proper grammar and punctuation. If it's a casual yet still professional conversation I use :) sometimes when appropriate.
or, if I'm talking to an acquaintance or my boyfriend, I generally text in lower case. :) is a common emoticon I use. I also use :^) and :-) if I'm fucking around.
just do what you're comfy with senpai
Honestly, you're worrying about things that don't matter. Some people use emoji, some don't. Some type with grammatical quirks while others have perfect spelling and punctuation. What matters is that you communicate your message effectively. Banter and humor are often commonplace in texting anyway, so if that's your thing than just do that.
If you're really stuck, you can just practice on the tinder girls you match with. Just say whatever comes to mind and if you fuck up, move on to the next one. Trial-and-error that shit until you hit your stride and figure out what texting style works for you.
>>16636956
Also, never abbreviate you -> u, you're -> ur, this -> dis, are -> r unless you're saying something stupid like
>ur gay
>ur shit
>hay hay guess wat :^)
>ur a faggot1!!!
I used to feel much like you do about texts. Then I stopped giving a shit. Texts are far less meaningful than how you act in person. I like to keep them short, proper grammar, few emojis. Only the necessities until I can meet them in person.
>>16636908
It's hard to make one up on the spot, but in general stick to one sentence per text, unless you're ranting or something
>>16636896
Watching this before I shower. Thanks, /adv/isor.
>>16636937
>>16636947
Haha, I'll save those for a rainy day.
>>16636956
So mould my style to that of who I'm talking to then?
>>16636959
Thanks, I'll try that right now. This girl's talking about how she gets weird pickup lines, so I'll see what I can do.
>>16636956
>>16636959
>>16636975
>>16636976
Thanks, bros and sisters. I'll keep using good grammar, and change only the form of my messages then.
Anything else I need to know?
>rule one
Always be interesting. if you have nothing interesting to say, say nothing at all.
BAD
you: hey what's up?
girl: Not much, just leaving work. how about you?
You: Not much, just playing Witcher 3.
Girl: no response
GOOD
You: Hey, what's up?
Girl: Heyy, not much just leaving work. you?
You: Just leaving work too actually, what are your plans for tonight?
Girl: Just going to read, why?
You: let's hang out
girl: okayy
>Rule 2 and 3
End the conversation after the climax, and always let the girl be the last one to text.
Good:
You: yeah I had a great time with you too
Girl: I'm glad! we should hang at my place soon
you: I would like that
Girl: :)
end conversation.
BAD:
You: yeah I would like that
girl: :)
You: so anyway, it's 2 am, what are you up to?
Girl: no response because the conversation just got boring and it's 2 am. goes to sleep
>rule four
Always match the energy level of the girl
GOOD:
girl: heyy
you: Hey! How are you?
BAD
Girl: Heyy
You: heyyyyy I was just thinking about you. I just saw spiderman 3 and it was so good. I also took my dog for a walk, and I saw a goat! next week my cousin is coming to visit, and we're going to eat hummus!
Girl: cool! *ends conversation*
>rule five
never double text, and never ever triple text. a double text is only acceptable if the girl double texted you, it is then usually encouraged.
Good:
Girl: hey, I just got home. want to hang out?
you: sure
You: where do you want to meet?
Bad:
you: hey are you still up?
You: hello?
you: well goodnight
girl never responds because you just creeped her out.
rule 6:
If using a chat on tinder or instagram etc, always get the phone number asap. do not linger on website chats
Good:
Have conversation with girl about the basic stuff. school, work, home, etc.
you: I'm about to crash, can I get your number? i'll text you
girl: sure! 8503285024221
>>16636896
Wow, this video is shit.
>Says he'll cover something later in the video
>15 seconds left
>>16637296
>double/triple texting
I fucked this one up bad. Learned my lesson. I hope
>Me: [asks how she is in her native language]
>Me: did I ask that ok?
-half hour later-
>Me: want to hang out sometime?
-20 min later-
>Her: I'm good! :P
>Her: yeah, but you used [word] instead of [word]. When your sentence is [this way...]
>Her (completely ignores the question about hanging out)
I freaked out. But eventually managed to turn it around.
I gotta calm the fuck down.
If I ask something and the response takes a while, I assume I should SHUT THE FUCK UP and let her take however long she needs, right?
>>16637296
Ahhhh, I never knew about double texting.
What else can you tell me about the rules surrounding it?
What do you do when you send a message and don't receive a response? Wouldn't it be odd to just never message them again? I've had standstills that I've resolved through talking in person, but what if you're not in regular contact?
Are there certain circumstances that influence how this is handled?
>>16637373
I sent a message this morning and didn't get a response. I'm planning to wait a day or two and then if I have something worth saying I'll send another.
But I'm not the expert here, I'm lost as hell too.
>>16637356
That's a good question. I feel like I need an answer to this, if you guys wouldn't mind.
>>16637373
You can double text sometimes if the first text has no obvious reply to it, like "That's good" or something. But then the second text should always be easily respondable.
If you ask a girl a question and she doesn't reply, just don't text her again. She doesn't want to talk to you, but women will never ever actually tell you that. They will just reply less and less and hope you take a hint
>>16637389
I don't have much aversion to rejection, so what I do isn't advisable, but in my case if a girl glosses over a question to hang out or something where I suspect she's flaking, I will directly mention it. Like "So did you ignore my invite on purpose or what". Rarely, they actually missed it. But usually I just get confirmation (not explicit because they're women and will never be explicit) that they're definitely not interested and I just delete their number. Typical reply would be "Haha no I'm just busy" (obvious rejection)
>>16637389
That's what I was thinking. But my best friend of six years and I do this to each other for hours or days at a time. We're both guys, sure, but can't it be the same between genders?
>>16636807
The key word here is mimesis. People feel subconsciously attracted to people who imitate them. Very subtly, like touching your hair when she touches hers, stuff like that.
The same principle goes for texting really. If she uses lots of emojis, you can feel safe in doing so as well. If she takes a serious tone, follow that lead instead.
The really hard part is keeping the balance between imitating her too much, which WILL turn her off, and being too true to yourself.
Thank you all! This has been a really useful thread; I honestly appreciate that you all took some time out of your day to help me. Thank you.
