I am 42 (yeah, I know I am an old user od this site). My late husband passed away a year ago. Is it too late to find love again? Am I stuck with a pool of very undesirable men?
I do not have any children. I am of Asian descent so I look younger than my actual age, but I get the impression that findinf someone again will be tough.
>>16632850
My mom got married at the age of 40 despite having a son (me).
Granted by that time I was about to finish college and already moved out of her house anyway, also I don't really like her husband, I mean he's a good guy but I'd wish she'd found someone more... wild? Anyway it is not impossible but you might be better of getting a hobby, if you don't enjoy yourself why would someone else find you interesting?
>>16632864
I am too miserable to get a hobby.
>>16632991
dating sites
>I am too miserable to get a hobby.
Not >>16632864, but if youre already saying your miserable then who would be attracted to you?
Like anyone (at any age), you have to step back and look at yourself and ask "Would I date me?" - saying no shrinks the pool (hence undesirable men).
Use this time to improve or relax yourself. Then things will fall in place.
>>16632997
>>16633007
The pool is pathetically small
>>16633008
Well like you said its tough (asian culture is extremely strict on marriage), and no one will be as optimal as your husband. But it's not late
Both my parents (viet) divorced in their 50s and came into relationships 5 years later. However my mother is with a half irish/flip and my dad with a widower due to cancer.
>>16632850
My sister found a new husband, she was 36 and he was 31, and she had a 5 year old child. I think you can manage.
My advice is that you don´t try to find the "Mr. Right", but someone whom you can fall in love and be confortable with.
well love isn't going to fall in to your lap anymore, the guys at your age are either married or forever alone for a reason, they won't be the assertive types who jump at you. And there also definitely won't be men after your body who just put up with you, so not being miserable and boring is important. Why would a guy stay with you if you have nothing meaningful to offer? A 40+ year old guy probably won't care THAT much about pussy and if he does he's probably a douche manchild.
You're going to need something you can actually talk about, you'll need to seem like you're on your feet and stable and pleasant to be around and available emotionally and have a personality instead of just looking pretty.
Met my gf when I was 30. It's not that late but it's still pretty late. And she fits me like a glove.
Sometimes life fucks around for a while and then gifts you beautiful things.
But I have a question: do you really need another significant one?
>>16633021
>the guys at your age are either married or forever alone for a reason
See? It is hopeless.
>>16633052
then what fucking response do you want
people write paragraphs your input is literally one line mumbles
>>16632991
>>16633008
>>16633052
>>16633055
that's probably what flirting with her or dating her is like too
>>16633055
She is not really looking for an answer. There are, as her, a lot of people who divoced or had their partner passed away. She is just looking for excuses not to try anymore
>>16633064
What this guy
>>16633052
said is true though. Also, even single women in their thirites were told how they had to settle on /adv/.
>>16633154
of course they have to settle. They're old and alone, and 9 times out of 10 they're boring introverts, otherwise they wouldn't have this problem. The men they're settling for are settling for them too.
>>16633163
OP here. See, my situation sucks.
>>16633199
okay bye enjoy crying in to your pillow alone. It must be what you want since you don't want advice.
>>16633211
Your advice is that we all have to settle?
>>16633215
fucking yes! Lower your standards. It's not the end of the world. Don't expect perfection, you won't get it. Definitely don't expect a replacement for your husband who will do the same things he did in the same way and make you feel the exact same feelings, that is not going to happen. Just be open to something new and stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself. Nobody wants to go out with a wet blanket
>>16633227
Lower it by how much though? I won't consider myself as picky, but an obese NEET is not very appealing.
>>16632850
You're a female? of course it's possible. Go to clubs or try a dating site. some people are into older types, like me.
>>16633021
>A 40+ year old guy probably won't care THAT much about pussy and if he does he's probably a douche manchild.
Shaming men about their biological imperative.
>>16632850
You will have to be really interesting, like being a source of entertainment which never ceases to change and surprise, make the guy feel powerful in your presence, and don't make him feel like he has absolute control on you, just like you probably did with other guys when you were in your prime.
Yo bitch get some young dick a nigga like me would fuck that tight yellow pussy and make it cream.
As long as you like cuddling and cat ears we're legit
bump
What should I lower my standards to?
Both of my parents remarried in their late 30s/early 40s and both are still happily married. They have dating sites for people in your age range with similar situations. You'll probably have fellow widowers or divorced men but that doesn't mean they aren't good men. If you want to date younger plenty of guys like older women. I'm 29 and get approached by more younger guys then older. You've got plenty of time :)
>>16633551
Be open
Do you live in NYC?
>>16633627
You won't find anyone because you are boring as shit, and picky as fuck. You have nothing to offer, refuse to improve yourself, and say very little. You're old; you can't skate by on your looks anymore, and what you have remaining isn't much.
Either shape up or die alone, you hag.
>>16633199
Pics of you op
>>16633896
I never said I was picky. I mean, most people would refuse to date a 300lbs NEET.
My mother remarried after divorcing my father when she was 43, while still raising me and my sister.
They met through eharmony, which according to them is amazing. Maybe you should look there or on another dating site, it'll probably be your best bet.
>>16632850
I am sorry to hear about your husband. One of my co-worlers found love in his sixties. They're adorable. You have plenty of time.
You, too, can find love again. You do have to watch out for undesirables, yes, but you're at an age where decent men have begun to return to the dating pool in some numbers: people whose spouses have passed away (like your own), people finally getting away from a bad spouse, and so on. The major trick is going to be finding them -you will have to look deeper than was necessary last time you were single- but it will be easier at this age than it would have been earlier.
>>16632850
Silver surfer speaking -
I last fell in love - and I mean fully, teenager-intensely - at 50. It was lovely, and even when it ended, there was a strange sort of comfort in knowing I could still have my heart broken in my 50s.
Become a cougar. Find young guys you might be interested in give them a bit of attention and go from there.
As a younger guy there are tons of older, attractive women out there who don't have the bitchiness that younger girls have.
>went out with friends for new years
>met a 42 year old lady
>attractive, makes 500k
>she did not want to be alone for new years
>went after some younger guys who all had GFs
>DD her and my friends back to their place
>talked to her for a few minutes
>added her on facebook
Part of me wants to get a drink with her.
