So I don't feel depressed, but I do feel like everything is pointless. I just ask why until I hit a dead end in terms of what I think the logic behind something is. I feel like I've squandered my opportunities, skipping out on high school but still getting a diploma, and not going for any scholarships or grants despite being good at academic work. I dropped out of community college because I didn't really care about anything there, even my declared major. Most people annoy me, but I don't tell them off. Instead I just stay very neutral and it makes some people think I'm a nice guy.
I feel like if this continues then there's no point in continuing. My life seems to be nothing at all, so there's nothing to be gained or lost one way or another.
Now that I'm 21, should I buy a revolver and play Russian roulette with myself? I've been thinking about this for a while, and maybe the only way I will start to care is if I trigger some self-preservation instinct in myself.
What are your thoughts on this? Is there a better way to start caring?
Also, should I alter the capacity of the revolver at all?
I feel like it would be cheating one way or the other if I don't keep it at a standard six.
>>16619127
You know Homura lived in the end to spend eternity with her lesbian lover
>>16619337
Yeah, against Madoka's will.
>Is there a better way to start caring?
Depends on how you define "better".
>maybe the only way I will start to care is if I trigger some self-preservation instinct in myself.
You could try other forms of hitting rock bottom.
Personally, my moment came while I licked an older black dude's dick, alone in his car at night, on the off-chance that in doing so I'd inspire him to find his "missing" baggie and smoke me up
I had flashbacks to that all the time until I got myself straightened out
>>16619355
Madoka loved her back
>>16619372
Is that why Homura had to MiB her so she didn't know what was going on? And tear her from the heavenly position she explicitly wished for her.
>>16619360
What are some other ways of hitting rock bottom?
You have free will. Yes, you do. No one can ever take that away from you.
Period.
Now, with that being said.People can remove you from opportunities to commit suicide or the weapons, but if you have the will you find the way.
Whatever diety you believe, if it is God himself than yeah you can make the choice. So I will say my own quote.....
"The knife can have two purposes you can slice a person or an apple, but at the end of the day it is still just a knife."
