Guy texting my gf
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So my gf has this coworker whos always trying to ask her out and stuff. Normally im not the jealous type but she told me once he asked her to go to the beach with him (at 11pm btw) to which she replied "but im in bed already" and he said "so?" To which she changed the subject
Is she being a little too nice here? Why didnt she just say no? Should I say something about it? Because the way she said it sounds like she wants to but cant, which invites him to keep asking her out. Am I overthinking this?
Just dont get cucked m8
>>16613797
She's being too nice but he's too dense to realize he's got no chance.
>>16613805
So should I just let it be? What if he asksher out again?
>>16613797
So, it's probably quite a difficult situation for her to deal with. I'd imagine under normal circumstances she'd just tell him to jog on and that would be that - but having to work with him means she has to live with the consequences of it, and he sounds a little on the stalkerish side. She's probably worried about how he'll react if he gets upset, like he'll go round telling everyone she led him on, or that she sucked him off in the stationary cupboard, some shit like that.
>>16613810
Tell her how its making you feel. And I think I'd be a little worried if this guy is asking her to show up at beach alone at 11pm
>>16613797
Classic - girl loves the attention and knows she shouldn't be inviting it but does it anyway.
Women love games that guys can't understand. Don't try to solve that mystery and just either pick up another girl, dump her ass and pick up another girl or 'best' you're rival in a display of non-lethal physical domination in front of her and then when he is beat, walk away from her and never speak to her again and get another girl.
Trust my words. Whatever you do, don't play her little games.
>>16613821
So how do you know its for attention and not >>16613815 ?
>>16613821
>best your rival in a display of non lethal domination
What?
At best she's being too nice at the expense of respect for your relationship. At worst she's doing this intentionally to bask in the continued attention.
Which of those girls do you think is fit for you to date? The one who doesn't know how to act like a respectful human being or the attention whore? Come on, your parents raised you better then this.
>>16613810
Tell her you find it annoying. You trust her clearly, but this dude is a dingbat and dingbats do crazy things when it finally dawns on them that they have no chance.
This kind of crazy is dangerous if she just let's it go.
>>16613856
>*than
OP here. Ill just confront it to her i guess. Its funny because since ive dated her 2 girls have asked to hang out with me and i told them either no or im seeing someone. I dont think its asking a lot for her to do the same
>>16613856
But what if its just cause hes a coworker and she doesnt want to create problems like the previous anon said?
>>16613845
Most human beings invite attention, especially when it is offered in the form of flattery. Guys invite attention as well but it just sounds as though the girlfriend is enjoying the boyfriend squirming i.e. 2 guys want her?
Trying to offer the guy advice so he doesn't get hurt.
I can only tell you what I would personally do... if my girl was texting anyone outside of a social context (school work, job related conversation) I would immediately, without hesitation, send her ass to the curb. The fact she is even communicating with him means she is doing so with the expense of her respect for you, as this anon said.
>>16613856
>>16613874
Yeah this. But then again, I'm a girl too and if this happened to me I would have answered something like "naaah :p" (trying to seem nicer with the smiley).
>>16613821
Stupid fucking fedora logic
>>16613889
You partially would want his dick, if his attempts merit even that response if he knows you're taken. Whore.
>>16613883
That is so fucked. She can't have guy friends? Are you out of your mind?
That's so creepy and possessive
>>16613883
>being this insecure
oh /adv/
>>16613896
She can have any friend she wants but she appears to be leading on a mark with a dis-honourable agenda to covet another man's lady.
>>16613797
I've been in the same scenarios as your girlfriend. A little different but if I can give her the benefit of the doubt, and lets assume she wants absolutely nothing to do with this guy romantically.
It's likely that she feels she cannot be a cunt because she sees this dude regularly. Since he's a coworker, seeing him everyday after she blatantly denies his advances can be awkward. If your gf likely avoids confrontation, she may be "being nice" because she doesn't know how to be assertive.
Your girlfriend has to be the one to end it. I don't know if you trust her enough to do so. But being this naive to his comments is just weird. If it were me, I would have told him to fuck right off with that bullshit, or I'd just completely ignore his texts, not change a conversation...
My bf had to kind of teach me that most men talk to women for the sole purpose of "Hey maybe we can fuck? If not right now, I'll just wait here and text you til your ready." He taught me how to be a cunt and that if that didn't work, then I tell him to help me. I think that you should tell your gf that this dude is a scumbag, and that if she doesn't like his advances, she has to be a bitch about it. Because that's truly the only way scumbags stop...
I, too, was once a naive "Oh, I can have male friends while having a bf. They understand." young woman. But that ship sailed long ago.
>>16613896
>>16613904
Hahaha the betas are leaking out today. Do you guys really believe a guy and a girl can have a platonic hang out, 1 on 1, at a beach at 11 pm? I genuinely feel bad for you guys when you inevitably get cucked in the future.
>>16613874
Then she addresses it without creating problems. I didn't say that she should be rude. In fact I even implied that she should be nice about it. The problem, being as optimistic as possible, is that she's TOO nice. What makes it "too" is that it comes with disrespect for the relationship. It's not right to do wrong by one's bf/gf to keep the peace at work when that's more than is needed for the peace.
Let's also not forget the worst case scenario which has nothing to do with "creating problems" and everything to do with her being a twat.
>>16613912
>at the first (imagined) sign of trouble i jump ship to not get hurt
>everyone else is 'beta'
ayy
>>16613919
> Not confronting any of my logical points
> defending shady behavior, that is a universal indicator of infidelity
Ayy
How did he get her # OP? Just answer that one question and I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen.
>>16613940
I agree, this is a good indication.
>>16613926
>if my girl was texting anyone outside of a social context (school work, job related conversation) I would immediately, without hesitation, send her ass to the curb.
>The fact she is even communicating with him means she is doing so with the expense of her respect for you
much logic, wow
>>16613874
Great so to avoid any problems, all she has to do is fuck the co-worker because that's what he wants and the boyfriend should just accept this because ms is a nice person?
>>16613940
workplace. all numbers are shared. she works retail
>>16613986
Okay. Then he crossed a boundary without permission. You're probably in the clear unless he can get her alone and intoxicated at say a work function. Say something to him about his shit next time you stop by the store. Maybe mention to his manager that he's stalking a co-worker.
He isn't the manager is he?
Exact same shit happened with my ex. She kept complaining to me that the guy wouldnt leave her alone and that he was an idiot. Yet still she kept texting with him. I did not let any jealousy show and eventually just told her to cut him off or I would be forced to deal with him personally.
I still have no idea whether she cheated on me or not. One thing is for certain, girls love attention of any kind from men. Keep an eye on her
>>16613997
Not OP but
1) It's not his place to say anything. Any decent manager ask him who he thinks he is and to leave if he's not a customer.
2) It's not stalking if she's an active and willing participant in the conversation.
>>16613997
No hes not ive never even seen the guy
>>16613821
you sound like a woman expert
>>16614005
Do they cohabitate? IRegardless, if corporate even thinks that a lawsuit is possible they will terminate the employee rather than take the risk.
Has she told the guy she has a boyfriend? If she has, show up at her work, suck her face in front of some of her coworkers to show people that you are in fact real and then she can complain about the guy to her other coworkers.
>>16614086
As a guy who has hooked up with plenty of taken girls, there was nothing discouraging about seeing their boyfriends. I'd even wonder if they could smell me on her skin. I never understood why it would matter to me considering that I already knew about him.
>>16613855
Kick his ass
>>16613797
Here's how you fix that. Next time he invites her to the beach at 11pm, have her say, "Sure!"
Then show up together.
I don't think he'll ask her out again after that.
>>16614181
>inb4 threesome
>>16613797
>Is she being a little too nice here?
Yes
>Why didn't she just say no?
Because she is an attention whore and is leading him to feel validated
>Should i say something about it?
I don't really think this will have any effect, she clearly don't respect the boundaries of a relationship
>Because the way she said it sounds like she wants to but cant, which invites him to keep asking her out. Am I overthinking this?
No, like i said, she doesn't show respect for the relationship flirting with other guy, the only thing that will hold her back from cheating is the attraction, if she has any for this guy, i'm sorry for you.
>>16614378
Me again
let me tell you what should have happened in this situation
the moment he invited her to the beach, she should had said just "no" and completely cut contact with him.
Confront her to see if at least she is good at excuses, then dump her and find a girl who will be fully committed to a serious relationship.
>>16613912
>he's never had a female best friend where you were intimately close friends but neither of you were into each other
>>16613797
She shouldn't be talking to him if she's in a relationship and knows he is pursuing her. Sounds like she's leading him on and enjoy the attention. I'm guessing she's white which means being a worthless slut is in her genetics. I honestly feel bad for white boys sometimes. White women are high maintenance as shit.
>>16614466
To be fair that is pretty uncommon. As long as you take care of yourself and live a decent life, there's little to get in the way of someone being "into you." What, your personalities are incompatible? If you're shockingly disparate people then you'd hardly be "intimately close friends." Otherwise it's just the same as any other pair who fall into attraction despite little common interest.
I wouldn't say it's an absolute because stuff like homosexuality exists, as do physical preferences outside of one's control. But even the latter is flexible. "I'm not attracted to people of (specific physical quality)"...yeah, right up until you make an exception. Crazy how that works. Point is I'd hardly count it against him for not having close female friends who weren't into him. It's not without complications to be a genuinely admirable person.
>>16614466
Are you fucking losers pretending you were going for the friend zone the whole time now?
>I'm completely fine with this hot bitch friend zoning me because I'm weak. I didn't even want to fuck her in the first place
Women are the worst friends you can have. Haven't you ever been in a relationship and seen the shit skanks say about other females?
>>16613797
so they are talking late at night, the dude asks her out and she deflects but continues the conversation? I don't call my coworkers to chat late at night, male or female unless it is not about work. This is no coworker relationship but more
Op here. So what should I do? Im confused now
Random guy here.
This thread is making me feel bad for texting a female coworker. I want to be friends because I have few, but I'll be honest I would like to have sex with her.. Still, I don't think my wanting to have sex with her is my entire desire to talk to her, but now I kind of feel bad for even trying. I'm such a scumbag.
>>16614983
You should make your momma proud and start dating a new girl who knows how to respect you. Be with someone who one day will be helping your mom in the kitchen with dinner, chatting away together and realizing that each loves you just as much as the other. That's the kind of person who is worth your time and energy. Not this shit.
>>16614983
This is what girls do, if you did the same, you know damn well there would be an argument about it.
>>16614983
She really shouldn't be having any non-related work conversations with her co-workers outside of work, it`s super disrespectful what she is doing.
>>16615012
We've been dating for 3 months. Shes not the hottest girl but i love her personality. Like i said, girls have asked to hang with me and i told them no. Its not a problem for me to get a new girl, I just want to be sure shes not worth my time. I try so hard to not be the jealous type bc i used to be like that when i was younger and less confident. But this thread has made it pretty clear shes disrespectful if anything.
Im ganna tell her how i feel and see what she says. But so far it looks like this relationship is ending. What a shame since its such a lame way to go out. But well see. Ill keep you guys updated when i get to her house in a few hrs.
>>16615028
>I just want to be sure shes not worth my time
I've gotta admit that I don't find it realistic for an online image board to make you sure of that. Sureness is something which has to come from your own intuition, experience and value system. I truly hope that it's there already. At the very least I can say that I'm sure of what I've written.
I'm not nearly as sure, however, about what telling her your feelings will accomplish except convincing her to keep the texting private. This isn't how you stand up for yourself. Momma's not going to be proud of her just because she keeps her shitty side in the dark.
>>16613815
God I hate dudes who latch onto your gf and can't take a hint that she's not into him. My ex had this shit and she even had me call him up to get him to knock it off. He caused a lot of friction at first though because I had never had to deal with jealousy. He finally fucked off but man I fucking hated him.
>>16613855
Wrestling bro. You've never wrestled your rival over the love of a woman? Beta af.
>>16613819
this
>>16615054
I do wrestle tho mah nigga
Im persian my whole dads side of the family wrestles
She has found your replacement.
>>16613797
Common woman problem. This is a co worker so she can't just tell him to fuck off like a woman normally would. She's going into so much detail about this with you, because she's looking to you for a solution - duh. You are the man after all.
