Married, but I don't want to be. Largest mistake I've made. However, I'm totally frozen in taking steps to move forward.
Advice on how to actually make yourself take the steps needed to improve your life? Especially if they aren't easy things like this?
I wish I could help you. I have been in a relationship with a batshit cray cray man for 5 years and now we have a kid. He went nuts and ruined Xmas and I still cannot leave.
I'm lucky. I don't have kids. I feel like my wife lacks the correct emotional response to handle this. I may be underestimating her. Still, it stops me from doing anything if I feel like it would wreck her. What is keeping you?
Bump for any advice.
>>16611257
The baby mostly.
He loves her and she loves her dad. Also, the whole seperation would be nuts. His mom is a lawyer and things will get so messy in court.
Also- I see change. He was once almost schizophrenic because of cocaine and stealing money and physically abusive. Now the physical abusive is basically non-existant, the coke ended about a year ago (started tapering off 2 years ago).
I have invested so much time and money and tears in him. Even when I spend all Xmas sobbing and feeling like I must leave. It is hard to actually move all my stuff out.
Leave before you have kids
Yikes man. Are you sure it has all ended? Clearly I'm unfamiliar with your situation, but that does sound rough. Especially if he ruins random shut for you. Assuming first time it has been that bad in a while?
Is there gonna be a good way for me to leave? Is there a way for me to reduce the guilt? I tried to leave maybe a year and a half ago. Moved out for 2 weeks. I feel like I got guilt ed back into it. I don't think it would blow her away, but I don't know how to make myself feel 'ok' about it. I'm not putting my happiness first and I'm not sure why.
Another bump. I know this isn't a kissless virgin thread, but I still need help.
>>16611404
What do you want to hear exactly? You made a horrible mistake and by you choosing not to take actions to revert the mistake you're still going to be stuck in a marriage you hate.
Kill yourself.
Clearly that was the answer I was wanting to hear. I was hoping for advice, not on the situation, but how to make myself take action to fix it. Is there a way to make myself value myself more to the point where I'll do it? I'm aware I made a mistake, I said as much in the OP. No reason to be combative over nothing, friend.
>>16611254
>I have been in a relationship with a batshit cray cray man for 5 years and now we have a kid. He went nuts and ruined Xmas and I still cannot leave.
You wouldn't be the first woman with a kid to leave her man. Stop making excuses.
