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I feel like shit since just after xmas my family came up to my house for the first time for xmas and late about 8 am on boxing day my drunk brother decided to fight with me i tried to ignore him went to the toilet to do a piss he followed me spat on me then went in my back garden and started shouting for me to fight him with one of my kitchen knifes in his hand my female neighbor in her 40s came running out shouting at me and telling everyone to fuck up i completely lost it at that point and told her to get the fuck back in her house while leaning over her fence all of this obviously upset my girlfriend my mum and dad had to leave with my brother in a taxi which cost them alot of money since i live far away from them i have been trying to call my family since it happened and they won't pick up and the one time they did my dad said don't try calling we don't want to speak to you at the moment after everything that happened. So now i have this really empty void feeling and can't seem to stop thinking how a great xmas was ruined in seconds and i have pissed my neighbor off to unrepairable levels (Prior months ago she called the cops for a noise complain because me and my 2 friends were drinking and playing battlefront in the living room at 2 am) so the relationship there was already tense before i lost it. How do i get over this feeling.

Sorry for the wall of text