so how do i get myself together in every single way possible
???
i hate myself, i have no desire or motivation to do anything most of the time (this includes basic things like showering or even playing a game, it's barely enjoyable to me, i don't even want to do nothing, i just don't want to do something either)
i have weird body and eating issues, which involve obsessing over my weight, binging, punishing myself, and thinking i'm fat when i'm not (logically i know that - my bmi is 21, i would like to get down to 16-17)
i have a bf but i'm thinking of leaving him because i don't believe he loves me because i don't think a depressed gross little shit is lovable unless you're desperate as fuck and that makes me feel worse and i don't want a reminder of that.
there's a lot more but this is becoming a drag:
1. how to stop hating myself (people tell me DOING things would do it, like my mom tells me to clean my room so i clean it and i don't actually care about it, so, no, i don't feel better after doing it)
2. how do i stop obsessing over food and my weight (it's usually not so bad, except when i make mistakes on anything, i illogically go, "this wouldn't have happened if i wasn't fat" and i 100% know that's stupid, except then i feel sick to my stomach if i even think about eating since i think of eating as a 'reward' and 'punishment' at the same time)
3. how do i get the motivation to do things with my life instead of just fantasizing all the time
i'm 19 and i dont feel like i have a lot of time to do anything anymore, and like i should have figured out all this stuff a long time ago but everything has just been piling on top of each other and logically, i know i probably didn't have the maturity to realize what to do at 16 but i'm 19 and i still don't except that i want to change it
>>16597796
>i'm 19 and i dont feel like i have a lot of time to do anything anymore
>>16597809
also probably illogical, would make more sense if i was 30 or something but,
i feel a lot of pressure to make decisions about everything, like what i want to do forever and ever and ever or the type of person i want to be with and i just don't have these answers and i feel like i should
and these aren't horrible things to think about, just the fact i have other issues on top if it makes me feel like i don't have the time to fix everything and be a responsible person
>>16597850
thanks dog. you always got my back
so, can anyone offer any actual advice instead of posting pictures
because i am posting on 4chan
clearly i'm desperate
i can do things, i know i could force myself to do things like getting a job or making money or just engaging in activities that seem enjoyable, but i DON'T enjoy any of them.
i guess i'm not asking for motivation, i just don't know how to enjoy anything and so since i don't, i don't want to do anything.
i used to be really into gaming, so i saved up money to buy myself games, gaming accs, consoles, etc. i don't enjoy it, or anything anymore, and i don't know why.
>>16597796
I was also depressed and what really changed me was just relaxing about time. I decided to change myself and rather than set up a whole list of things i should do, I stepped back, went to a psychiatrist, and fixed one thing at a time.
First, i slept, properly. Tried to wake up at 9am every day.
Then, eating right.
Then picking courses to take online and for the next quarter.
Eventually i felt like i could do anything.. As long as i wasnt rushed.
I didn't rush to fix my habits and i think that's why they stuck.
>>16597876
thank you for the advice, i really appreciate it a lot.
i don't have the option for a psychiatrist right now, but i will definitely try doing this. usually when i would try, i'd make out a whole schedule for myself to stick to and do and a time-frame and, i guess that was a poor decision on my part since it would fall apart and i would get quite discouraged...
again, thank you very much and i am glad you are doing better currently.
Sounds like you have a major case of body disorder. You should se a psychiatrist about that, 4chan can't help you with therapy here.
As far as not enjoying old hobbies u should obviously find try to find new ones.
Don't spend to much time on social media, its poison for your mind. To many young girls let it ruin their minds. Read, exercise, study/work, and do fun shit with your boyfriend. Enjoy your life, you only get one.
Life is too short to live with regret. If you don't like yourself then fix yourself. If your stupid, read a fucking book. If you know the problem, be the solution
femanon, damn I relate to this a lot.
Take things one step at a time. It sucks but force yourself to do basic things at first like shower and cook a meal. Do that for a bit and then try to push yourself to do one extra thing. Work out in small steps, go for a small walk here and there.
About the body issues? I wish I had an answer, I am in the same boat and I hope somehow you overcome it because it is a lonely, dark, and scary place to be.
Good luck, just take it a day at a time and start with really small goals.
>>16597930
Seeing a psych isn't an option right now - money issues/parents have personal issues with is, so I'd have to move out and be stable enough to afford a psych. I'm considering it, though.
>>16597940
As simple as it seems, this kind of helped me a lot. Thank you.
>>16597962
I have to say, I'm sorry you can relate a lot - it does suck. Thank you for your help, and good luck to you as well.
>>16597796
Sounds like most of your anxiety comes from a lack of direction in life. I guess a counselor could help with that. You can try and get back your motivation by setting small goals every day. The hardest part isn't starting, anyone can do that. The hardest part about setting goals is sticking with them when it starts to suck.
For example, say you wanted to exercise for an hour every day. You could write out a schedule of everything you would need to do that day, and when you would need to do it. Pick a slot of free time, and set an alarm for 15 minutes before you want to start. As soon as that bad boy goes off, drop everything and get ready to exercise.
It's a small goal and doesn't seem like much, but by dropping everything else and concentrating on your goal (exercise or what the fuck ever), you'll be reinforcing the idea that your goals are more important than what goes on around you. Of course, just one thing a day is small potatoes, but you have to start somewhere. After a week, add another thing to your daily routine, maybe studying or job hunting.
You have to find something that motivates you and build some willpower. Remember- if it was easy, everyone would do it. And if anyone can do it, it doesn't mean jack shit.
