Is it still my fault even if I don't date Chads? Its not like I seek out 10/10 men. The 10/10 men that hit on me I ignore and brush off. I usually only give serious chances to more humble, sweet guys and all the guys I've been in relationships with were 5/10 or lower. So is it still all my fault that I end up with men who start being abusive and cheating?
>>16586799
>The 10/10 men that hit on me I ignore and brush off.
Why?
>>16586799
>>16586805
I recommend you go for 2/10s at MOST to avoid supporting the patriarchy.
>>16586799
its not about the 5/10 or 10/10
As a guy with shitloads of friends, the guys you are looking for are the more shy types. But it's hard for a girl to come in touch with them since they wont hit on girls
Armchair psychologist:
I'd guess that you don't think you deserve the better guys. You think you deserve to be with someone less attractive.
And so if your self esteem is in a place where you don't think you deserve attractive boyfriends, is you subconscious pushing away non-abusive guys?
If abuse has been a big thing in your life, it has been set as the norm. So all those little red flags that neurotypical girls see (guy being short with waiters, him reacting poorly to a schedule change, him making requests in a way that is more a demand, etc), those might look normal to you and you don't think about them.
In fact, those might make you subconsciously comfortable, because with cognitive dissonance, we like stuff that is familiar. Familiar misery is comfortable. Its the same reason why people might not take the steps to get out of depression, because it requires them to do the scary unknown.
TL;DR you need therapy.
>>16586799
Shy guys have a hard time hitting on girls whether or not they're a 3/10 or a 10/10 and those are usually the guys who are there but are cut off while talking and are usually stuck in the background why not try for that kinda guy
>>16586805
Because I'm not naive and know they probably just want sex or they probably have a million female friends they flirt with all the time.
>>16586824
Thanks that have me legit things to think about. I remember one guy in specific who was so respectful it made me uncomfortable and made me assume he was being fake. I think now that could've been something to do with what you're saying about my idea of normal being skewed.
Yeah maybe me assuming that the 10/10 are all fake or have ulterior motives is part of my problem.
>>16586841
Is that what you tell yourself to reason it away? That's quite an assumption to make about someone.
>>16586799
what? hen you are hitting on fake sweet guys who really are douches. you need a better judge of character to find out who is sweet and who isnt. sometimes ten/ten guys can be sweet too, you just need to pick up on their intentions as quickly as possible. i must say though, i wish more girls had your attitude, because i consider myself like an 7-8/10 and im very respectful of women's boundaries unless i get signals that they want otherwise and most girls find that fucking boring
>>16586841
Lmao, I'm attractive and 6'2" and this is consistantly the reason girls give that they won't open up to me.
>I thought you were just playing me
Every single time. It's like I'm not allowed to want to fuck.
>>16586943
Because when you're a pretty girl, you don't want someone who will just fuck you and throw you away. You'd rather have a less attractive guy who will genuinely want more with you
>>16586951
So I have to pay for girls insecurity?
One time the chick told me that she thought I was a player and she was the one who asked me out.
If I come on too strongly emotionally then it makes girls think I'm a pussy or a player who's just saying that.
When I don't they think I'm a player who is seeing other girls because I'm not being clingy enough.
Looks like I should just be a player then and fuck chicks. It's not like they don't fuck me anyway, they just do it two or three times before fading away and telling me they thought I was playing them. How the fuck does that make sense?
>>16586973
Yeah i guess we all have our own set of issues and insecurities. People on here don't realize that even attractive people her discriminated against. I'm an attractive girl, so I always worry I'm just being used or that they wouldn't really like my personality and that they only care about my looks. Or if I date a guy who's less attractive people think I'm using HIM because they don't believe I'd ever really be into him. And attractive guys have their own set of issues too. Like girls assuming they're players. I think if you put extra effort into showing a girl you aren't that way she'd start to let her guard down. You acknowledged that you know you're attractive so you can't blame a girl for being cautious with getting attached. No one wants to get hurt
>>16587005
I'm also half an autist but good with people at a surface level because my parents are salesmen. I never know what they're feeling at all but I put on a really good front and am witty. So I'm also to blame, it just annoys me when I like a girl and she just backs away or lets me know how little I mean because she's afraid.
>>16586973
> So I have to pay for girls insecurity?
Yes. If you want more than just a cheap fuck you have to earn it.
Have you tried contacting women when you're not horny?
> Inb4 what's the point in that
>>16587054
Well from my personal experience, like I said, I tend to brush off more attractive guys or not take them as seriously. Not because there's no interest, but because as a girl you tend to assume the guy flirts with everyone or that he's just playing you. If you're a more attractive guy, its probably a good idea to make more of a point to let a girl know you see something unique or special in her. That way she doesn't feel like she's just one of many and will open up more
>>16587108
What does that even mean? I've never booty called anybody. But I also haven't dated a girl who I wouldn't like to fuck. I only date a couple girls a year, if that. I haven't been on a date since February. I've had a girl try to cuck her boyfriend with me since then and I had to leave but that's it.
Forget rules, they would only be relevant if everybody was the same. Just let go, if it is right it is right.You have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince, but they trouble is that a prince is probably gay.
>>16587117
Maybe the anon is taking you saying
>It's like I'm not allowed to want to fuck.
As that you only want to fuck girls and not date them.
That's me assuming that you're the anon who said that.
>>16587191
Relationships were physical and emotional when last I heard. wanting to fuck and being emotionally involved aren't mutually exclusive. And girls get bored if you don't move quickly enough.
