I'm male, 25, handsome and earning money, and romantic life is just too fucking painful to actively pursue.
Women I could spend the rest of my life with are few and far between to begin with. I was raised well and have an inquisitive soul and would say I'm very forward thinking but like everyone else I have baggage.
About 3 times a year I'll meet someone who I have enough of a connection with to start believing they might be someone I could share my life with and it always turns out we're incompatible. They're all very intelligent and open and I'm not able to be completely truthful and open with them because I have a paraphelia that can't be entertained or even admitted too in this society. I would be an idiot to let someone know what I'm dealing with internally without knowing them for a very long time or maybe even never.
I let them in as much as I can but they feel that I'm holding something back, there's a dissonance somewhere below that I'm not showing, a lack of depth to my 'openness' that only allows me to go so far on certain topics because they can't know a part of me that is forbidden to be expressed.
About once every two years someone gets through and we seem to work but then the same thing happens as before in a more drawn out way.
I met a girl recently who was perfect. I really thought it was going to work and it crashed and burned last night. I'm so sick of opening up and being hurt.
Is there any remedy to this? Or am I just an outlier on the edge of humanity who's too strange to find another?
>>16586494
Might want to consider elaborating on what makes you so deep and unique, how much money you are earning, doing what, and what you generally do with your life.
Again, stressing what makes you so profound and unique.
>>16586494
Advice will vary depending on what is the paraphilia, so say what it is.
> I have a paraphelia that can't be entertained or even admitted too in this society.
I secretly want my gf to eat my ass but won't admit it. Can I relate?
>>16586494
What's your fetish? Unless it's illegal, damaging, or severely unsanitary, you'll find that most adults are more open-minded about this stuff than you'd think. We all have Internet connections, dude. It's probably not nearly as shocking as you think it is.
>>16586508
I'm a fan of neoteny. I have an arrested sexual development. I would be at home in Athens. I'm not going to explicitly say what it is, even on an anonymous image board.
>>16586509
It's like that but something that can never happen.
>>16586524
It is illegal and damaging and that's why I don't even entertain it. Just admitting those urges is enough to make you a pariah.
On top of that I think I'm probably a little spergy. If someone behaves in a way that doesn't fit my view of the world I don't know what to do. I don't read body language.
I think I need a therapist.
guys, he's into CP
>>16586547
Never seen it :) I'm stronger than that.
>>16586546
Don't people with Asperger's have a reduced interest in having relationships? My advice for you is to forsake sex altogether and live a life free from it. Take some advice from an old Athenian,
>I will tell you, Socrates, he said, what my own feeling is. Men of my age flock together; we are birds of a feather, as the old proverb says; and at our meetings the tale of my acquaintance commonly is --I cannot eat, I cannot drink; the pleasures of youth and love are fled away: there was a good time once, but now that is gone, and life is no longer life. Some complain of the slights which are put upon them by relations, and they will tell you sadly of how many evils their old age is the cause. But to me, Socrates, these complainers seem to blame that which is not really in fault. For if old age were the cause, I too being old, and every other old man, would have felt as they do. But this is not my own experience, nor that of others whom I have known. How well I remember the aged poet Sophocles, when in answer to the question, How does love suit with age, Sophocles, --are you still the man you were? Peace, he replied; most gladly have I escaped the thing of which you speak; I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master. His words have often occurred to my mind since, and they seem as good to me now as at the time when he uttered them. For certainly old age has a great sense of calm and freedom; when the passions relax their hold, then, as Sophocles says, we are freed from the grasp not of one mad master only, but of many. The truth is, Socrates, that these regrets, and also the complaints about relations, are to be attributed to the same cause, which is not old age, but men's characters and tempers; for he who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden.
>>16586558
Usually people affected trend away from relationships but it's such a nebulous condition every person expresses the disorder differently. I don't look myself but sometimes the signs are too strong to avoid taking the opportunity.
I've never gotten an actual diagnosis either, the doctor wouldn't give it to me but I've suspected as much for the last 4-5 years. I've created coping mechanisms to hide the problem.
I understand where the quote is coming from but I think a life lived actively avoiding love is a strange sad one.
I'm gonna have to read the greeks aren't I?
