RELATIONSHIP HELP - SEX RELATED
My boyfriend 22 and I 21 are living together. We've been together a little over a year and I'm studying whilst he is working. He works a lot and recently likes to relax by playing a game (not that I mind, just background information). We're both home quite a lot lately in the evening, but we both do our own thing.
We've been having sex around one time a week.
Obviously in the beginning of the relationship we did it a lot more often but still relatively low. He's said from the start that he doesn't feel the need to have sex too often, because he wants to keep it special and he thinks doing it too often makes it boring.
However lately he has been saying that for some reason he doesn't really feel like having sex . Mainly because when he gets in bed, he wants to sleep because he's so tired. He thinks having sex is more hassle since it's dirtier and exhausting and masturbating is quick and cleaner. He says he hasn't lost all sex drive since he does feel the need to jack off.
When we have sex it's good. I know for a fact that he's not cheating.
Our relationship has been a little rocky and I'm his first serious girlfriend.
I don't think this is all a major issue - I'd just like some solid advice. Personally I think he's stressed from work, he doesn't sleep enough and I feel his testosterone level might be low due also to diet. We will talk about it more - but I wanted to do some research and think about it.
However most advice forum I found when Googling the problem said " you're not into her , you're not meant to be together , it's time for something new , this wasn't meant to last etc etc".
How severe is this problem? And what should I do about it?
Thanks so much for your time and advice like always.
Also I'd like to add that I am quite confident. I have good hygiene and do take care of myself. I like fashion and always try to look my best.
He has also said, that he does feel attracted to me.
>>16571804
You seem pretty confident that he isn't cheating and that everything is going alright. As you mentioned, the sex is good when it does happen. Relationships are always a little rocky, it's normal to have your ups and downs. If you're pretty confident and you haven't seen any signs of disinterest in you then I think it might just be stress. What's his work?
>>16571823
Thanks so much for your answer - it's comforting!
I really hope it's just that. Like I said things have been rocky .. He too said he's not sure why this is - but I felt a little let down at all the negative advice that came up when I googled it.
>>16571887
How has it been rocky?
>>16571896
We've had an instance a whilst back where we thought about breaking up.
>>16571804
Cool wallpaper OP, source?
>>16571809
>He has also said, that he does feel attracted to me.
He surely doesn't act on it; he's either gay, not attracted to you (doesn't have to do solely with how you look like, maybe he finds your personality irritating), maybe he has super low libido and just doesn't care about you enough to make an effort and have sex in order to satisfy your needs. Anyway, this relationship is going to fall apart soon, unless you are okay with not fucking and having a bf who can't be arsed about sex already, even though he's only 22.
>>16571804
Have you tried taking the initiative yourself instead of waiting on him to do it?
Go sit next to him while he's playing fallout or whatever and put your hand down his pants, get him hard, jack him off a bit so his balls are blue, and wait.
>>16572372
Also he needs to go to the gym. Working out is just basic hygeine.
>>16571804
When you're just dating and sex is something you have to hunt out opportunities for, it's exciting. When you're living together and it's always available it can become routine and the drive for it can wane. This is especially true if you're under stress and really do want and need a rest.
Agree together that you both WANT the sex life to be better. And then agree to raise its priority. Make a date for a specific night and honor it - don't allow any postponements or cancellations. Make it romantic, part of a whole evening of whatever is nice and warm and together-y for you. Rediscover together the romance of sex.
