I don't know why you're trying to give up on someone who's willing to stick around while you try to figure out your future, most women would just drop you immediately but she's putting up with you.

You aren't a quitter, you just don't have the same big plans like her, and she's insulting your ability to create wealth in comparison to herself as opposed to helping you out in any form to better yourself.

>>16556246
She doesn't want to invest in you enough to help your weath problem so she can either take it or leave it, which she keeps doing because she's lonely. Once she's not lonely you won't hear from her anymore.

>>16556244
That's exactly my thought process. But I don't want to feel like I'm staying just because she's good to me. I want to feel like I actually want her. But I've never felt that way about anyone, I like some people, I love some people, but I've never felt like "if I am not with this person it hurts".

>>16556252
That's actually what I'm afraid of. I think maybe she doesn't think she will find someone else. She's overweight, always has been, and I really want to help her lose it and be "hot". I think I want this so she feels better about how she looks, but I also want to know that, if many more options open up for her, she wiould stay with me. Honestly I don't understand why anyone would ever want to be with me, who I am currently I mean. For gods sakes I cheated on her for 5 months. 1/3 of our relationship. She was ready to leave but idk, maybe I manipulated her into staying becuase I was afraid. But I don't know if that's out of love or desperation that she stayed.

>>16556238

its a conflicting position, but if i were you, id ride out a few more waves on the relationship, and then get off the ride.

it sounds like you are not the man she wants, and forcing yourself to be that man may sound romantic, but deep down its not, and you doing it or expecting it to work just for her sake is going to backfire fast.

if you want ot better yourself, its time to look within and see what happens. but do it for yourself, not for her. doing something like changing your entire existence for the continued affection of someone else is the low totem pole.

she may like you, feel affectionate, and enjoy you a hell of a lot. but she can't truly love you if she wants you to change EVERYTHING for her plans.

and thats okay. you guys have different plans. she can run off and get married nad have kids.

though if she loves you i dont see why she wouldnt just be a modern woman and let you stay home with the baby.

>>16556260

sounds like you guys are in a weird place. having a baby will only make this worse. ride a few more times, and get off. its okay to enjoy it for now. something isn't beautiful because it lasts and all that. but there is nothing here you can salvage other than a few more good memories.

>>16556276
But she feels like me "changing" is just me "growing up" like normal people do.

>though if she loves you i dont see why she wouldnt just be a modern woman and let you stay home with the baby

Because she wants to be the stay at home mom.

>>16556283

But she's 25. She's at the point where if a girl isn't married or at least in a long term committed relationship, there's either something wrong and she is running out of time to find someone.

>>16556292

that doesn't really change the scenario. what does she love more. you? or this hypothetical situation. its okay if she says the hypothetical situation. but that PROVES that you should not be held responsible for it.

dont get me wrong i think its time you got your shit together and did some serious self exploration. but that can take years. you cant know where that will lead. a spirit walk could send you in a seemingly worse direction than the one she wants you to go on.

point is if she wants to be the stay at home mom with a baby, she needs to go out there and make that for herself. she cant force you to change everything about you to get it done, even if its a gradual change.

i do implore you to do that for yourself. take a spirit walk, or walkabout, or whatever term you wanna use for it. go alone. figure yourself out. make some stupid decisions, then make some wise ones.

but dont try and force yourself in to a situation you dont understand let alone want just cuz this fat chick you cheated on wants to be a stay at home mom.

like another anon said if shes not interested in investing in you to get to that place, then she cant expect you to just do it on ur own. dont get me wrong, i dont think she SHOULD pay for your college or any of that jazz, but she cant expect the world and not give with it either.

>>16556297

that sucks and all, not necessarily true, especially in this day and age where people are long term single and only short term married, but again, what can you do about it? i understand why she might be waiting around for you instead of going elsewhere for what she wants, but there is nothing you two can do for each other.

>>16556303
>what does she love more. you? or this hypothetical situation

Exactly, I've asked this many times. But you know a girl will never Ben honest about it if she has the idea stuck in her head.

>but that can take years
You're right. But when I tell her "it's not going to happen overnight" she gets upset and says that she can't wait another year.

>take a spirit walk
What is that?

>>16556321

I use the term vaguely. but a spirit walk is traditionally a native american concept where you find yourself 'spiritually'. TV hypes it up as goign into the woods with no supplies and not coming out until you 'find yourself'. others involve jsut ceremonies. each tribe was different, and the concept of spirituality and this sort of awakening extends throughout the world. in australia it is called a walkabout

but the modern white people version is just going out and 'finding yourself'. it varies for everyone and it should. i think if more people did this, the world would be a less frustrating place.

mine was a bit more of an internal exploration, but there were external aspects as well.

TL;DR, run away, go do something stupid random and weird, or just go camping by yourself. SOMETHING. meditate or masturbate in the woods. do something.

>>16556321

>she cant wait another year

than im not sure what she or you expects you to do. i mean you might have some degree i dont know about but you're not going to jump from waiter to 'i can take care of a family' in a year. i hate to be 'that guy' but if she wasn't so fat she might be more understanding. fat people dont tend to understand that things can take time, they cant accept it. otherwise theyd take the time to get fit. but they dont cuz they want immediacy.

either way, this relationships at its end.

>>16556238
I'm the opposite. I'm one phone call away from truly breaking up our relationship. I already texted her and she wants me to call her later.

Listen OP, I'd do anything if my ex was like yours. Mine just gave up even after we were so close. Believe me, you'll end up breaking up with her for the same reason I am, because you want what's best, unfortunately for me, she didn't want to work for it, but you have a window

>>16556341
Do I have to go somewhere for it? If I try to explain doing something like this, she'll assume I'm cheating on her again.

I should have pointed out that this is basically and ldr (we see each other every weekend). We're about 80 miles away from one another, bordering states.

>>16556366

like i said, i used the term vaguely, so unless you want to do something specific to a culture, no, you could do it from your own backyard for all i care.

>if i try to explain doing something like this, she'll assume im cheating on her again

thats kind of the point of this is that you wont be with her. you leave behind all the bullshit if your life and just do you. how can you truly find who you are if someone is sitting there defining it for you? you go alone, away from parents and friends and family and start a new adventure.

when people have the money they basically just take a long ass vacation backpacking across europe and that sort of shit. others go to south america and live on a beach. some just go camping. some people hitchhike. some people stay where they are but quit their job and just explore themselves. others go to some vague religious temple and become a monk.

its literally what you need to do that makes you feel both uncomfortabel and comfortable at the same time.

but its not scheduled. its not precise. its not a formula. you cant tell your girlfriend you'll be back at some point. its to the point that its become humorous that people will lose their relationships cuz someone goes on a 'walkabout' but it happens for a reason.

it sounds to me like you never found yourself. finding yourself isnt going to help your current relationship, which you dont really want to begin with.

so go alone.

Dude honestly, relationship problems are the least of your concerns right now.

I mean, I'm in the same boat as you with regards to wealth creation, but you need to have SOME sort of life goal/plans/shit your working for. I recently gave up a (theoretically) lucrative career and am staring down the barrel of the gun on this myself so I can empathize, but there's a big difference between drifting around aimlessly in life and "not prioritizing wealth-making ability".

Hard to raise a family when you have no means to support yourself or them.

The world's pretty fucked, by the way.

Don't listen to the dog-fucker:
>>16556252
>>16556246