Mentall illness
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I have no need for relationships or intimacy, i prefer full-time isolation with occasional 'other people time' - similar to the average persons need for 'alone time'
I lack a sense of morality/ethics, not that i don't grasp the concept, i simply don't feel any attachment too the idea of morality or ethics.
I have extended internal relationships with myself that i am fully aware of and control for my own entertainment (my form of socialization). It's pretty much my favorite thing to do; sit in the dark and pretend for hours on end.
I have severe long term substance abuse problems, primarily marijuana, booze and cocaine.
I have severe problems with security regarding compulsive locking of doors, and keeping alert around other people as if i were in a war zone.
I have issues with paranoia, from people on 4chan using software to analyze and track my posts to the people in my everyday life kidnapping me.
I am a generally friendly and polite person.
Aside from occasional outbursts of verbal rage from getting stuck in rush hour traffic while late for work, i'm a very calm and relaxed person - i've been told i have 'dead eyes' and a 'permanent poker-face' by people who have been around me an extended period during a time(s) of stress.
Should i seek mental health assistance? - i don't feel like i am mentally ill what-so-ever.. which is a hallmark of mental illness.
I don't want to ruin my life seeking help, however i don't feel that i am fit to function in our society and it could have some minor blow back at some point (like me ending up homeless or suicide, *nothing outwardly violent*)
What do?
I will be here until 8am pacific please don't be hesitant to respond because you think i'm gone. i'll read it.
>>16555068
yes op, you should seek immediate help from a mental health professional. no one that is not mentally ill would tell you otherwise.
>>16555095
Could you please specify which part of my post raised this flag for you?
I am very apprehensive about the mental health system (an other people in general as you may have noted from my post) and would like to hide as much as possible from them if i can, while still getting adequate assistance of course
What do you do for work, OP? Are you comfortable in social situations? Do you notice any negative repercussions from using substances? I'd imagine cocaine would add to the paranoia.
When you say you like to pretend, pretend what? What does this entail?
Ever talk to anybody about this?
Do you talk to your family?
What was your childhood like?
>>16555110
the whole thing. you cant hide shit from those people if you actually want to get better.
>>16555122
>What do you do for work, OP?
Independent landscape contracting with my neighbor.
>Are you comfortable in social situations?
Outwardly yes, i call it my "camo". I can be quite charming when it comes to business/money actually.
>Do you notice any negative repercussions from using substances?
Yes, pretty much across the board. - cocaine is a rare treat though i'm more of a drinker/smoker.
>When you say you like to pretend, pretend what?
Relationships, sexuality, violence, politics are the main focal points.
What does this entail?
Depends. I'll go into further detail if you'd like in a followup post but the shorthanded version;
Basically i create a situation that i enjoy to observe, it can be sad, happy, good, bad.
I create the characters and interact with them, for example:
( i am working in a detailing shop for cars telling sex story's to my co-worker and friend sai )
"EVERY DAMN DAY SAI EVERY. DAMN. DAY" - as i give him a playful glare, he replies, "damnnnnn anon you a playaaa" *urban youth laugh*
This is a fantasy from last night i had. Basically i will say the dialog over and over and over, sometimes 20-30 times making the accents and word choice perfect. I visualize the actions in a way that flashes before my eyes in a brief actualization, i'd say ~.5-.25 seconds in total, but i can see what i created pretty vividly for that very short time.
It creates a rolling feeling of euphoria and a endless pit of agony as i fade in and out of my fantasies. I enjoy the contrast greatly.
>Ever talk to anybody about this?
No - this is the only place i'm honest
>Do you talk to your family?
No - aside from chores and greetings
>What was your childhood like?
Upper middle class west coast USA.
I had a fairly emotionally abusive mother and a father who was always out at sea for his job.
When i misbehaved as a young child (3-9) my punishment was generally emotional turmoil ( ie my mother telling my that my dad's ship capsized and he was lost at sea)
>>16555068
soo much edge
don't worry autism isn't dangerous.
>>16555191
I'm pretty sure it isn't autism because i can function when i need too.
Nobody cares, just go to therapy already.
>>16555247
Sounds like you need a lot more than OP
>>16555198
assburgers is a form of autism where people ca function if they need to. they still show the behaviour you describe. it also comes as a gradient so you can have it just a little.
or you're just a lonely loser who's told himself they're a tough edgy loner because it sounds less pathetic.
>>16555278
I'm not looking to be edgy just trying to get a grasp on what i am and if i should seek help.
I feel completely normal and according to the self test i'm not even on the autism spectrum
>>16555068
>help me do i have an illness?
>>16555278
>yes it's illness x
>>16555282
>i so do not have that!
>>16555285
you're not a medical professional, nobody has ever suspected me of having autism and i'm not on the autism spectrum according to the self test.
It's just evident really.
I'm not a horse either.
>>16555287
power rankings for medical knowledge
3. anon on internet
2. medical professional
1. buzzfeed quiz
>>16555296
>>16555296
what are you gaining from this?
