You just seem to care too much about women. Just live your life as you like and they'll come. Don't think too much about it.

>>16554770

It sounds counter-intuitive but this is exactly right.

Op here, honestly I just feel very... Inept. I want to experience relationships but women ask too much I think. I just don't have the capital other males have.

>>16554221
Society lays out an extremely narrow definition of a "proper life" for all of us. You're feeling like shit because you don't conform to that, and because of that you automatically put yourself at the sidelines.

Thing is, clubbing and going to bars is shit. It is. You pay too much for shitty drinks, you're mostly just hanging with your friends anyway, and it's no way to actually meet someone, because have you ever tried striking up a conversation in a club? And everyone is with their own group of friends, anyway, so the only way you're getting any is if both your group and the other group agree to go cruising for sex.

But the thing is, you have to take charge of your own life. And that's hard when you're an introvert who has abided by "the rules" his entire life because people said it was a good thing to do. The truth is, when you're young, people want you to listen because it's easier for them, not for you. So now you're getting older, and they all magically expect you to take charge despite telling you the opposite all your life.

Well, Anon, take charge of your life. Do what YOU want to do, not what shitty movies tell you what's right. Want to go to bars? Call your friends, tell them that you're going to bars. Want to go to a museum? Go look up if there's something interesting near you, and go. Want to draw furry porn? Pick up a pencil, and learn the basics of art, and draw furry porn. Don't let schmucks tell you that the shit you want to do is not desirable. They don't like it, though titties.

Close this window, get off 4chan, and go do something you want, right now. Even if it's eating a big, fat burger. Go do it, and do it again tomorrow. Every day, do something YOU want, not something that's enforced by society, parents, friends, whatever. It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't matter if it's underwhelming, it matters that you do it. Because you're training yourself to make your own decisions.

You've got to put yourself out there.

I guess I mostly feel like I can't offer women anything they would want. I see all these other dudes with cars and shit and it seems like women like them. Or I see guys with those personalities women want and it makes me jealous because WHATEVER it is those guys have that attracts women... I don't have it. I have no idea what "it" is so I just call it the "masculine spark". I just don't have whatever it is to "attract" women. I feel like I am in the background.

>>16555939
You don't have it because you never developed it. I know what you mean, though. It seems some people are just born with it, and they are. Extroverts will just always have an easier time of it. Then again, you probably don't want the same thing these people want. I mean, one of my friends is the breadwinner, and his girlfriend seems like a trophy wife. But he's fine with that. I wouldn't be.

But you've got to be OK with yourself before you have room in your life for someone else. If you don't so that, you'll become one of those insecure sadsacks with permanent stress issues because they're afraid their girl will leave them.

The journey is more important than the destination. If you start to turn yourself into the sort of person you want to be, you will meet others along the way who feel the same way.

>>16555939
bro, i have to say, you are doing the right thing asking for advice, but nkt in the way that will actually adress what makes you feel like that. Make friends with somebody who does have this spark, if you dont already know someone who does, and just learn. He learned it from someone and grows to form his own style, and you have missed this lesson apparently. Seek it out and grow from there. Hope you get it bruh

>>16556047
>If you start to turn yourself into the sort of person you want to be, you will meet others along the way who feel the same way.
Came here to say basically this. The best thing about doing this is that even if you end up not meeting a suitable partner, you will still make good friends who understand you, and that makes singlehood much easier to take. And if by some chance you don't make any good friends, you will still have become more or less the person you wanted to be, which still makes your life more fulfilling than it would be otherwise.

Statistically though, you will probably meet someone eventually, it's just that you never know when exactly. So the waiting, trying to protect your heart but still keep it open just enough to let someone in when they do show up, is the absolute shits.

It took me til my 30s to find someone that I could make it work with. That was a long-ass wait. But looking back, if we'd met in my 20s it probably wouldn't have worked. So it was worth it. Your mileage will vary of course but I do think working towards being who you want to be is the best course, and I do hope it works out for you OP.

I understand what you guys are saying. I am just so sick of waiting I guess. Makes me feel like trash. I want to experience a relationship because at this point, I feel less than human.

At times i feel like this, but most of the time i just don't give a shit.

Im 28.
All i do is work these days, and even at work it's kinda like i can't measure up to expectations even though i work my ass off.

Life isn't easy i guess.

>>16556269
I hear you OP. I felt like this for so long before I found someone. I don't know if it makes you feel better or not, but you're not alone in being alone.

Is there anything besides relationships that makes you feel more human?

>>16556302
I am not sure what makes me feel human. I like going out with friends when they invite me but that is at most one time a year. I also like just chatting women but that is on super rare occasions. I don't like talking with dudes too much. I think that's just because I am like friending for women though. Probably not healthy. I also feel like a closeted pervert. I have never been in a strip club but I am positive I would never leave if I set foot in there. So I don't go.

Why is it that getting a girlfriend matters so much to so many?

>>16556628
It's validation at a very basic level. Your existence, biologically speaking, is justified by being found worthy of mating

Of course we should be free from that sort of thinking if we try, but I think it plays a part

>>16556652
How does one get validation? It seems like we shouldn't let others validate us but we can't validate ourselves can we?