OK /adv/isors. It's been a long time, but I'm desperate for help.
I've been at college for a few months now, and things have been going sub-par. My grades are fine, my residence hall is good. I'm not suicidal. That's not the problem. The problem is women.
Particularly this one, however, and here's why: Let's call her Jane for the sake of the thread. Jane and I have known each other for about three years now, and she's probably one of my best friends. Her and I were two of the smartest people at our high school, and both social outcasts. We were the weirdos who were more interested in physics than partying, held 4.0+ GPAs, played Magic at lunch, and geeked out about anime. (Well, she did. I respect anime, but could never find one that I could really get into, but I digress)
Jane and I both got into the same engineering school in the same residence hall on the SAME FLOOR. needless to say, we're still very much in touch. We still see each other, work together, eat together, and all that jazz, much like in high school. (Although reasonably closer, since we live down the hall from each other.)
However, I have had feelings for her for a long time. Little over 2 years. At one point, I made some small advances, was flirtatious for a bit, etc. But as far as I know, she thinks those feelings are gone. This is not the case at all. To be 100% honest, I can't imagine my life without her. She's one of perhaps only three people in this world that I can truly say that I honestly trust. I'm not stupid enough to say I'd take a bullet for her, but if anyone hurt her, I'd likely do much worse to them.
However, I can't bring myself to say anything to her. As much as I want to tell her that I want her (more like need to for the sake of my *tiny bit* of sanity), I simply can't. (Cont.)
>>16546760
Ask her on a date?
There are very few desires I have in this world above her. She embodies almost everything I value in a woman: character, quirkyness, intelligence, assertiveness, beauty. All of it. Hell, my other friends have put pressure on me, saying that she's smoking hot (which she is.)
But another issue is that most of my friends are in relationships, and also actively pressure me to try and find a girlfriend. My parents are even worse. My dad puts pressure on me to party it up and fuck everything on two legs that doesn't look like shit, while my mother seems to want me to get hitched by the end of the fucking decade.
So, what do I do, guys? Because I am so stressed right now I could fucking die of a stroke.
>>16546764
My issue is that my anxiety levels are through the roof when it comes to women. I've never been in a real, "normal" relationship. (technically had one that I don't talk about, was very short, fortunately). I have not idea what to say, and I always feel like I'm fucking up everything I do.
I don't want to fuck up my friendship with Jane, but I simply can't go on shoving it into a dark corner of my soul.
>>16546806
Me too nigga me too. Im so deep in the retard zone I wont even do shit when girls are hitting on me.
I have my reasons though.
My advice, man up and casually ask for a date. She's a social retard too right?
>>16546821
No, actually. She's very socially affluent and charismatic. And I've been surviving college by faking it. I'm an introvert by nature, but I have to live small lies every day just to not get overwhelmed. It gets easier over time. Fake it till you make it I guess.
>>16546830
Out of ideas. I'll still monitor this thread though. Godspeed betabro
>>16546760
>waiting 2 years
anon your problem is you have this person on a pedestal. Sure you know her at a casual acquantince level but she could turn out to be a really shitty person who cheats on you, OR she could be the love of your life.
You'll never know unless you ask man, and the ONLY way to bring your anxiety down is to ask. You are an inexperienced individual when it comes to this.
Let me ask you anon when you learn a topic that you don't fully understand do you freeze up, if your boss or parents asked you to do something that you didn't know how to do would you completely shutdown and avoid it?
You have to be willing to get rejected and face those shitty feelings because otherwise you can't date. You need to ask her man, if she says yes then great. You get to know her a little more and maybe you guys will click.
Just ask her out anon. You'll never be able to get rid of your anxiety otherwise.
>>16546760
>>16546830
Similar situation myself lad. And the more I get to know her the worse my anxiety gets. The first time I met her I wasn't too interested which is probably why she initially liked me. Fuck overthinking. I try to act on impulse. Meditation helps with the over-thinking of things too.
Good luck mate
>>16546871
I know her more than almost any other person. To say she's a casual acquaintance isn't a gross understatement: it's a blatant lie.
And I guess I just don't have any other option, do I? I still don't know. I don't want to lose her.
>>16547010
How can you still be nervous about her if you're that close?
Just ask her to go see a movie or go to the museum or something.
>>16546760
Okay first off, I recommend cowboy bebop as far as anime goes
But anyway just go for it. Get drunk with her (or better take molly with her) and let her know how you feel.
Even if she doesn't feel the same way she won't hold it against you so long as you are confident and not awkward about it
>>16547481
This Cowboy Bebop is GOAT anime for anyone. Gotten my friends who have hated anime to watch it, and they were hooked.
>>16546760
OP you have to ask her or cut out these feelings. One of the other. Things aren't going to just "work out" and to have her just fall into your lap, you have to bite the bullet, man up, and grow a pair and just do it. You sound like your hearts in the right place but you are going to have to just take a risk. That's the only bit of advice I can really give to you. (seriously though watch Cowboy Bebop.)
Goodluck mayne.
