Hey guys, I don;t usually post here and i apologize in advance for my run-on, shitty sentences.
My good friend (f) and I (m) usually catch up once a month to catch a movie and eat somewhere nice. Our relationship is based entirely around these nights and we almost never have any communication outside of these aside from organizing them.
So anyway, when a Hunger Games movie comes out we always see it together.
I realized the other day the movie was out so i quickly organized it. She sent me a message today asking if her boyfriend is interested too and would it be ok if he came along?
Yes, I'm in a friendzoney relationship with her, but it is what it is and we're fairly close.
I think it'd be pretty weird if her bf came along though, but I'd be a dick to say no, right?
Any advice?
You've dug this hole now you have to sit in it.
If she truly is JUST a friend, this wouldn't bother you.
You're just one of her orbiters and it makes me happy knowing you're in this uncomfortable situation now you shit head because it's your own fault.
I don't know how it'd be weird for him to come and yes, you'd be a dick to say no. It's a popular movie so it's no wonder he wants to see it, and there's no point in her seeing it twice, once with each of you. If you can't handle her having a boyfriend, then maybe you need to find new friends
You'd be dense. This is her reassurance to her boyfriend that there's nothing fishy going on. By saying ANYTHING except welcoming his attendance, you're guaranteeing that she cuts you off for the sake of her relationship. You have to let him come if you ever want to see her again.
It's not even a control thing. She'd be the one to voluntarily stop because it's obvious that the situation is uncomfortable in a way that she can't accommodate her boyfriend's understanding.
You can't say anything you twit. You guys have aa weirdo relationship where you see a movie a month and then eat afterwards, well guess what she is going to see the movie with you. Regardless if her boyfriend doesn't go is irrelevant. Hell if you tell her to "no boyfriend" she will just go with her boyfriend to see the movie.
Have some fucking self respect and end this relationship dude. It is pathetic.
>>16511265
You'd be a third wheel.
Tell her you're supportive of her relationship and don't have anything more than platonic feelings for her, but it'd be an uncomfortable situation and you hope she understands.
If she flips out, she's a shitty friend.
Honestly, if I were going to the movies with my best friend and her bf came along, I wouldn't go. Her boyfriend annoys me, and I'm always a third wheel around them.
I'm sure she'll understand if she's not a cunt.
eh, why the hell not? What will the bf change in this little date thing? Nothing basically. Maybe he's a bro too.
I used to orbit around this girl who had some friends and I was hoping I could hook up with one of them. We went to a movie and they asked if their bfs could come too, and at this point I realized I'm too deep in the friendzone and nothing will ever change my status and I said why not.
Turns out the bfs were really bros and even now after we all went our separate ways I'm still friends with them.
I mean OP, you're deep n the friend \one and you know that. Might as well go all the way.
>>16511306
jeez a bit aggressive mate.
>>16511314
yeah I only said it'd be a bit weird. I didn't say i couldn't handle it. I'm just socially retarded and I'm cautious about an unfamiliar dynamic with us..idk what to think.
>>16511319
I don't care if you think its pathetic or not
>>16511317 thanks, good point
>>16511322
yeah i hate being a third wheel, but>>16511317
has a good point
Imagine the boyfriend who you never talked to meeting a guy who isn't even an acquntaince. He has his arms around his girl while you are sitting beside a couple.
Then after that they are flirting with each other while eating ice cream awkwardly talking to you.
Third wheel here you come. You will feel like shit afterwards believe me because I was a third wheel on a date and it was horrible.
>>16511354
Yeah it could go either way i guess.
Either he's a dickhead or a bro
>>16511360
Anon they aren't your friends though. I feel the convo will get awkward because it is 2 on 1 with a guy she doesn't see that often. Ditch this for this month.
>>16511306
>If she truly is JUST a friend, this wouldn't bother you.
beautifully put
>>16511265
top kek, have fun third wheeling it OP. but in all seriousness you really CAN NOT go to this movie with the two of them. holy shit you need to bail
>>16511337
You're being walked allover if you think you have to commit to going to the movies because she wants to bring her boyfriend.
If you're uncomfortable, just fucking tell her!
I don't understand why people on this board don't know how to communicate.
>>16511388
Not true.
I have friends, both male and female, and I wouldn't want to hang out with them when their SO is involved.
Why?
Because it's like they're going on a date, and you're just tagging along.
I know I wouldn't invite a friend on a date with my SO because I'd be too engaged with my SO. I'd barely pay attention to my friend.
This is also because my SO might not get along with my friend. Then I'd feel like I have to stand in-between and try conversing with both at the same time.
>>16511435
Yeah I'm kinda bothered that she asked in the first place.. but I know why.
Also I think it's worth mentioning that I have known this girl for the better part of 10 years or so. We used to hang out alot more it's just life gets in the way and we've fallen into this pattern.
>>16511418
we're on this board to ask questions cos we're socially retarded. duh
>>16511453
Then just tell her you're uncomfortable OP.
>>16511459
I know, but like 90% of problems on here can be solved by "tell the person how you feel", and when I say that they should tell the person how they feel, they go "but I don't want to" when that's the ONLY solution other than "dealing with it".
Yes, you'd be a dick to say no.
Doesnt mean you should go see it with them though. Don't be a third wheel, its weird. He probably is forcing her to do this. Just give her a vague day and either flake or confess you went to see it already with a date.
Hopefully she'll get the hint that she put you in an awkward spot.
This happened to me a couple months back. Friend came back into town and wanted me to meet his new gf he brought back to see his hometown. He'd done this before and it was awkward as hell trying to entertain both of them while they whispered stupid inside jokes to each other. Anyway he did it again the next year with another girl I'll never see again so I just didn't hang out with him this visit.
>>16511467
Yeah, but that's a SHITTY way to solve a problem and it makes you look like a social retard. If you don't understand the subtleties of actions and what they imply then you're forcing that other person to educate you.
It's just a shitty answer to most problems. It's like saying just break up to every relationship problem.
The implication of her wanting to bring another guy isn't just as simple as it seems. It's implying the boyfriend is getting jealous or she feels shameful going out with a single guy alone in a dark theater.
>>16511476
I like this but don't make up some shitty reason as to why you can't make it OP, she will respect you more if you're blunt with her instead of playing some shitty mind game that makes you look weak. just say "hey I don't wanna mess up you date night you two should just go without me"
if she says something like are you sure? or you should come! just stand firm and say you'll see it with someone else
>>16511495
True its different. Would OP be OK with going if she wanted to bring her brother? Her mom? the boyfriend is a significant
>>16511265
This is actually worse than being a kekold, because you aren't even invited to sex.
>>16511537
Yes it is. The guy knows what's going on a lot of the time too. But also a lot of the time this is all a guy can get, and fuck let me tell you that it's better than nothing.
>>16511435
I'm sorry, but you just don't get it.
OP's "friend" is his surrogate girlfriend. He enjoys doing these activities with her because they're special and exclusive, like a relationship. The boyfriend being there ruins that dynamic. This is what bothers OP.
If he was doing this with a male friend and the friend offered to bring his girlfriend along, he wouldn't have posted here.
Even if he didn't like the girlfriend.
>>16511674
You've actually explained my predicament accurately .
What was your advice?
>>16511706
challenge the boyfriend to a duel for her honour
>>16511706
First comment, love :)
>>16511435
I guess it depends on how good a friend you are with the person, and how you deal with meeting new people?
I don't think I've ever met a friend with a SO that I couldn't at least strike up a convo with. Maybe you've got shitty friends?
>>16511727
lol, so how am i a shithead that makes you happy haha
>>16511757
You're putting unfair expectations on this woman.
Drop this ridiculous one-sided relationship, get some self-respect and find somebody who actually wants to be with you.
>>16511265
LMAOing @ your life you retarded beta orbiter c.uck
you clearly have feelings for that girl, no matter how remote, because if you didn't you wouldn't even bat an eye at her bringing her boyfriend along.
just drop this girl and move on to the next.
>>16511265
We had this same situation the other night: A man's girlfriend went to play vidya at her male coworker's house late at night. He felt uncomfortable letting her go, due to this almost inevitably resulting in fucking. In this case, you're the male friend from work. Her boyfriend's tagging along to make sure you're not fucking his girl. You should be honored that he considers you to be that much of a threat to his relationship.
I'd let him come along. But if you're more interested in testing your friendship, say no to her and watch as one relationship crumbles while the other strengthens.
>>16511772
I don't feel like I am.
We have a lot of history, we've been friends for years. I'm not going to "drop her".
>>16511781
You're implying that if i had a GF i wouldn't give a shit about her.
I'm pretty sure i have "remote" feelings about every attractive girl I'm frends with. It doesn't mean i ditch them cos we don't have sex. That actually sounds more depressing.
I'm a pretty happy guy, laugh at me if you want.
You're still a faggot
>>16511799
Yeah, already told her It's cool. I'll just see how it plays out.
I'm not stressing out about it really anymore. Good to see some other opinions, even the shitty ones to see how angry people get lol
>>16511803
as expected of a c.uck
cant wait for you to get BTFO kid
Im in a situation smular to this. If this happened EVERYTIME you guys hung out, then its fine to mention it to her how it would be nice to have 'friend' time. But once or a few times isnt bad at all and should be expected. If your her friend, as a guy you have to understand im sure her BF might be the one who wants to come along. To scope you two out. Its understandable where your coming from but being the guy in this situation you need to understand the other end of it. What if he is giving hershit all the time about you? And she is telling him that he should just come along to see for himself that way no long loses friendships. Or maybe she is doing this on her own and her BF isnt bugging her at all she just is smart and doing preventive work. OR she just wants to be with her BF and her great friend all at he same time
I feel like cool people tend to have cool SOs. If I like to be around them then hopefully I'll like to be around their SO.
And if not, you meet them once and then decline to hang out in the future. SOs and friends aren't always going to mesh, but you give it a fair shake.
Are you just uncomfortable with meeting new people in general, OP? Or do you immediately resent this guy for dating a girl who isn't into you that way? Both are pretty normal.
>have feelings for a girl
>she doesn't return them
>insist on being around her anyway
>get mad when she doesn't "take your feelings into account"
You're just making yourself miserable, OP
You're the one who is forcing this situation
>>16511830
Honestly I reckon he will be pretty cool.
I'm just assumed the worst i spose, like he's this anti-social dickbag
>>16511844
not even mad lol
>>16511830
Oh yeah I do get a big awkward in a "forced" social encounter so I probably will be a bit awkward. Oh well. I'll deal
>>16511857
bit*
>>16511803
>We have a lot of history
Hahaha. You remind me of that copypasta of that sad faggot who was rescued from drowning by his childhood friend and thought because they had "history" she would reciprocate his love.
That's the value of your "history". Cut ties or cut feelings, unless you want the same kind of "happily ever after", faggot. Knowing how you orbiters are, I think I know which outcome is the most likely.
Just never learn.
This is the guy who posted the first comment.
>>16511861
haha, dude, stop haha
I can't take you seriously at all.
You post is riddled with shitty bait. sorry man
>>16511265
She wants to bring her boyfriend with her because she clearly sees you as a good friend, and wants you and her boyfriend to be friends as well. That's common sense, man, come on.
But you clearly see her as some idealized thing. Waiting for her relationship to fail so you can attempt to swoop in and become a rebound. That's sad, man. What are you doing. You know there's a lot of women that exist in this world, right?
>>16511879
i'm starting to think the op is trolling
>>16511879
Just kill yourself.
Get a girlfriend and move on or deal with being an orbiter forever.
Either way fuck off.
>>16511881
Yeah, sorry man. I actually do think you're trying to help, but you're off base too.
I agree with the first part, and yeah I'm not waiting for her, I don't even want what comes with the rest of a serious relationship. Sure sex is good but i can get that elsewhere.
I don't have bitching or ANY of her baggage or problems.
She's my "Dinner and a movie" friend. Some people obviously find that weird. I think its nice.
>>16511899
>nope
>hell nope
>nope
>>16511902
yeah this is b8
sage
>>16511902
>>16511907
You're a virgin aren't you.
>>16511923
nope.
But i guess on the internet no one knows you're not a dog
>>16511931
I'm gonna say a kissless virgin and no older than 18.
Deny what you want, you can't hide from yourself.
>>16511940
I use 4chan cos i can tell the truth and no one knows who I am, not the other way around
