My girlfriend is Indian, but born and raised in America, her family is very religious and super strict, she is an atheist and does not agree with her parents on most things.
She's expected to get an arranged marriage at some point in time to an Indian man, and she wants no part of this, basically no ties with old world India, she's very much an educated American. I am not Indian, which obviously does not help our situation at all. If it hasn't been inferred already, her parents do not know about me, I've been a secret for a year. Her parents would never let her hang out with a guy alone, boyfriend or not. Any one on one interactions with a male is unacceptable in their eyes .
We've come to a cross roads after being together for a year, and putting it off for a while where she essentially has an Ultimatum. It comes down to her picking me which would end in one of two ways. Us pretty much being forced into early marriage, or two losing all ties with her family and moving out. The other option is picking her family where she goes about her life until she finishes school in May and is able to get on her own feet.
For the sake of any questions, we are very much in love and have had the whole getting married some day talks and kids eventually stuff numerous times and always talk about how happy we would be.
She's 22 and I'm 23 for reference. And for what it's worth she's my perfect match. For however corny or how doubtful that sounds, I know I would never find someone like her again, and I am terrified to lose her. I would be okay with getting married at this point, no matter what others may think about it, I know we would be very happy for many years.
My thoughts at this point is that a best case scenario would be convincing her to do a "long-distance" relationship until she graduates. But that would be a horrible 5-6 months, I'm not even sure she would go for that at this point.
Let her go anon.
Her parents could have you both killed if there radical....
>>16498292
You didn't ask a question.
>>16498304
/adv/ - Personal Blog
>>16498292
OP here kept getting a connection error.
But what do i do? What do i tell her in a week. I honestly can't imagine a life without her in it anymore.
>>16498303
There are two types of men, anon.
1. Slaves
2. Men who are brave enough to break free
OP, if you love this woman dearly, do not let your fears overcome you. Fight for her, run away with her if you must. Convince her that you can make her happy forever if she leaves her family.
>>16498326
are you saying the men brave enough to break free are also slave owners
0/10 see me after class
>Dating an Indian
Thats beta as fuck anon.
>>16498326
I hope I can convince her, but i don't want to force her into something she doesn't want at the same time. I don't need her resenting me. I just have a pipe dream that she wants to stay with me without having to try and convince her.
>>16498323
What do you do? You accept that it is her choice and it's up to her whether she chooses you or chooses her family. Being an Indian girl dating outside my race I feel I can empathise with her better than most people here, and if I were in her situation, I'd pick my family. It wouldn't be an easy decision, but it'd be an obvious one. If she's as level-headed as I like to think I am, then she'll probably make the same decision
>>16498382
I understand. She has to make a tough decision - you or her bastard family. Tell her that you will always love her and respect any decision she makes. If you really want to win her, make her cry and remind her of all the good times you shared with her. It will put her in an emotional state where she physically can't not be with you, and she'll choose you.
>>16498385
You would pick a family that would desert you if you opened up about a relationship with a white person?
>>16498385
I've pretty much come come up with this myself however badly i don't want to believe it's true. She doesn't like her family outside of her sister very much, she doesn't want to live with them. The problem is she can't really leave until she graduates, or chooses me.
Assuming the former, I'm hoping we can at least agree on doing long distance until she graduates. I really hope so.
>>16498415
For now, yes. I'm not going to burn bridges in the middle of my education to marry a guy I've been dating, what, a year? Especially if they're supporting me. I can cut ties once I graduate and can support myself if they're restricting how I can live my life, but I wouldn't do it right now.
That said, I wouldn't have hid and I haven't hidden my boyfriend from them in the first place.
>>16498420
>Assuming the former, I'm hoping we can at least agree on doing long distance until she graduates. I really hope so.
That's really probably the only thing you can do right now. Pressuring her to pick you might drive her away towards her family.
>>16498426
I managed to date a guy LDR for two years, secretively, because his parents didn't approve. Now we're still together and no longer is it LDR. OP, it's possible, it doesn't have to come to her being selfish.
>>16498440
We did start out as a LDR at about the same time last year, but we did see each other occasionally. I'm not sure we could see each other if we do it again, but a LDR for 5 months is what I need to happen. I can't lose her.
>>16498440
It may be possible, but sooner or later she's going to have to choose him or them, be it now or later. Keeping it secret on top of everything else going on in her life will probably be super stressful for her, and she might break in the next few months. As an aside, it doesn't make sense to call her selfish for whatever she chooses, since it's all a matter of perspective.
>>16498472
fair enough, and we did it knowing that once we were out of school, we would break ties from his family, the future course of actions was pretty much decided before the LDR phase. And that decreases time spent being anxious over who would be sided with. If she realizes in the midst of the LDR that she can't do it, well at least it was worth a shot
>>16498496
Yep. It's definitely possible, but it's not easy. Not that any of this discussion really matters unless she's partaking in it, since the decision is ultimately hers.
