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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.
>Frog
Also piss off.
guys: would you date a girl your mom doesn't like?
>>16493552
Yeah, but if it started getting really serious and my mom/family still doesn't accept her then I'm not sure how that would turn out in the end. For the record my family has never had a problem with anyone I've dated and they respect me enough not to meddle in my relationships.
Where can I find crazy qts who were abused heavily by their own parents as children?
And before anyone judges (like some mean girl on soc) I just want someone who understands, someone who relates and can tolerate my depression and possible PTSD. And I'd do the same for her. Also I live in rural England, which lowers my dating pool much more.
I don't care how much of a sad love it is....
(Crawling in my skin etc, etc...)
Guy here. What's in an "Okay..." text response? Weirded out? It makes me feel like I'm being a creep to her. How do I respond to that?
>>16493625
Well what did you say to her that provoked that response? How the fuck are we supposed to know without context?
>>16493552
Yes, though I'd be a bit more cautious.
>>16493625
It could mean she's wierded out, could mean she's interested. Could mean she doesn't have tme right now, could mean that she wants your babies (though that's a long shot). Without context we cant say.
>>16493630
>>16493658
I wanted to ask her something (about us), and she took it to text. Backpedaled there by saying it doesn't fit texting and isn't a big deal anyway.
Now I'm overthinking this and it's feeling like a bigger deal every time.
>>16493674
That doesn't help one bit. What did you actually say? What was the actual conversation leading up to that?
>>16493684
That's it, really. Hung together in person for a while, having daily chitchat in a group, had a few seconds alone with her and wanted to ask, we got caught up in something before I could finish and I said "fuck it", she asked me over text shortly after what I wanted to ask and then I backpedaled.
Literally all I responded over text was "this doesn't really suit texting and it isn't a big deal anyway"
>>16493696
Oh, and yes, we did go out for a while. Not as much nowadays or I would've just asked there, but we did.
>>16493696
I think he means a few texts back.
Like start say, five texts back.
>>16493696
Well seeing as you're not really that great at giving context, I'm going to work with what you have managed to give us. It means nothing. It's a response she gave because she didn't have anything else to say and "okay" alone is too blunt
>>16493699
It's literally the start of the conversation. Five texts back was a few days back. Even three texts back was a few days back.
>>16493701
I don't know what other context there is to it. If it means nothing, I suppose I won't have to worry about damage control then.
This is why I hate texting.
>>16493713
>It's literally the start of the conversation.
So now she thinks you're a fucking weirdo for not just saying whatever the fuck you wanted to say. Grow some balls or learn to keep your mouth shut
>>16493713
well the texts dont make any sense to us.
What was the conversation that led to these texts?
And I dont mean summerize.
>I said " ."
>She said " ."
>Then I said " ."
So my wife told me she's maybe be up for a threesome with a woman we met through a friend (we've been to a few parties she's been at.) She dates men and is pretty obviously attracted to me, but we have no idea how to approach something like this. Should I take the lead in seeing if she's up for it, or would you women on this board feel better being approached by the woman? The other option is we both approach her, but I don't want it to be too overwhelming.
/adv/ I'm pissed
Talking to QT from Interpals for a few months. Develop a nice, pleasant friendship. Yesterday she sent me a text that seemed to be quite flirty. Went over to /int/ and asked what they thought about it. THEY said she wanted my dick and told me to get Lewds. So I take their advice and start being lewd. Well now she won't reply to me. What the fucking fuck. I could have potentionally destroyed a nice friendship because God damn /int/ told me to be lewd!!!!!!!
>>16493732
That's nice. What do you want?
>>16493730
I would never be kek'd man.
But if someone propositioned me, I'd have an easier time telling just a women no. So just let your wife do it.
>>16493732
Not a vent thread.
>>16493737
How do I recover friendship
>>16493754
Dude, it seems fine. She just hasnt messaged you back.
Alright so there's this grill I like a lot and we used to talk about a lot of stuff daily but lately I don't know what to say anymore and neither does she. She's also currently pretty busy with college since she will probably fail and it seems like she's not doing anything besides assignements. She occasionally messages me and tells me that she'd like to talk to me but I'm autistic and have no idea what to talk about. Where can I find some interesting stuff to have some decent conversations? I just want to distract her from her situation and cheer her up a bit
>>16493757
Well here's the last one. I just didn't feel right about saying any of that shit. I literally was typing what /int/ said. But I keep having this doubt. Like maybe she was completely just playing along, but isn't actually flirting. She normally would have responded by now. I don't get it. I'm not good at being lewd. I really feel like I fucked this up
can men smell our period blood? I ask because no matter how often I wash and change, I can still smell it.
>>16493768
Oh yea, this is a bit too lewd at the ending.
Message her like 6 hours for now and update her with something funny that has happened to you(made up or real, I don't care.)
Like "Man, you won't believe what has happened today."
It makes her think you're not entirely obsessed with her, but when something exciting happens, you want to tell her and you're not all about sex.
make sure to have a story before you actually try and create one on the fly.
>>16493771
Sometimes, gotta be pretty damn close to the girl though, like intimately close. Most girls just use a strong smelling soap/shampoo to cover up any odors their bodies might give off.
>>16493771
From what I can tell, no.
But this is coming from another women.
My brother never seemed to notice, I assume the same is for others.
My brother always seemed surprised when one of us mentions our period, and would say things like "I dont need to know when you have one", as to insinuate that he couldnt tell otherwise.
>>16493777
Trips.
Thanks. I feel so fucking stupid for keking myself. Like yeah I want to fuck this girl, but I definitely want her to at least be a friend. Fuck, I'm going to her country in like 30 fucking days and I'm gonna be seeing her for a few days while I'm there.
I'm so fucking stupid.
>>16493717
No, she started it. I didn't.
>>16493719
Last time I saw her in person
>(random chitchat that's irrelevant, and we were about to leave because she had an appointment)
>hey, you got a minute when you get back?
>probably not, sorry
>oh, nevermind then
A few hours later, over text
>hey, what did you want to ask?
>it doesn't really suit texting, and it isn't a big deal anyway
>okay...
She's been very busy. Her workload's the only thing that's on her mind lately, and she's been distant and neglecting towards anything that isn't related to it. I'm not much help with it, so she has become cold, uninterested and sometimes even ignoring. She's been shooting down my plans regularly and seems a lot less eager to see me if we bump into each other. It's like she's an entirely different person, and I wanted to ask her if it's stress getting to her or no longer being interested getting to her. Or something like that. I'm feeling lonely, and can't really think straight.
Girls, I'm super fickle and 21. When did you woman stop being fickle? When I say fickle, I mean that I think opposite things (usually boys or hobbies) within the same day, kindof like indecisive. I don't do those things so I'm not impulsive.
>>16493788
Nah its fine.
But do something similar to what I said.
Like if your family/friend made a stupid joke tell her that.
"Heard a cheesy joke today, wanna hear it?"
Just something to not bring up the old conversation, it shows you can get past weird instances like that and she'll never have to worry about "dead time" in your convo's.
>>16493794
Eh, you shouldve asked, i think. I wouldve wanted to know what you wanted to ask.
But yes, this post was much more understandable to what was happening.
>>16493795
wut
>>16493799
It's know that young women hearts are fickle so I'm asking older femanons if they experienced this and, if so, when did it stop?
>>16493797
We're not official or anything, so it's not like I'm entitled to her attention. The last thing she can use now is more drama.
And besides, don't these kind of things always go south over text? If it can be helped, I don't want to make things even worse.
>>16493796
I'll do that. At least you give me good advice. Fucking /int/, I'll never listen to them again. Them and their fucking lewd QTs
Who's being unreasonable here?
We're a pranking couple and do shit with eachother all the time, but she really made me mad today.
She sat me down and was really distressed and said we needed to talk. She then continued to ask me if I had cheated on her, and that if I said yes, we could resolve it, but if I said no, then we wouldn't have anything more to talk about. Obviously I said no as I haven't cheated on her, and she then said she has evidence and its my last chance to make this right. I again said no, and asked her what the evidence was, and she gave me a fucking present and smiled.
I left without even looking at it and told her I didn't want to see her face, but she eventually ran along and said it was a prank and that I shouldn't take it so bad. I explained to her that it wasn't a fucking prank and that I won't be able to take her serious the next time she has something serious to say.
Now, after we talked about it, she's the one who's mad because I am "such a griefer" and can't let shit go because it was merely a prank.
Am I being overdramatic? I feel that she broke my trust and stepped way over the line.
>>16493827
You know the Boy Who Cried Wolf? She's the Girl Who Cried Cheater.
Over the line.
>>16493807
what do you mean fickle?
Like, fickle about what?
Everything? no one's fickle about everything.
Also, stop making me use the word fickle.
>>16493809
if she was asking, even with her buy schedule, I think it was worth asking, but its probably too late now. Just wait til in person.
>>16493827
That's how things go between people who "prank" each other all the time, eventually someone says/does something that goes way over the line in the other person's opinion and everyone gets buttmad.
>>16493831
I told her -exactly- that but she still thinks that I'm being over dramatic and taking it too heavy as she tried to do something nice so she's mad at me.
>>16493827
If you're constantly pranking each other, it was only a matter of time before one of you felt the other had crossed the line. It just happened to be you. You're both being unreasonable IMO.
>>16493827
Holy shit, what a cunt.
That's like saying "I accidentaly ran over your dog, sorry. Here's a plushie to make up for it :) LOL JK I DIDN'T ACTUALLY KILL YOUR DOG"
You have all right to be mad. I would be too.
>>16493832
Fickle about relationships, food, or future plans. Not everything. Perhaps clothes sometimes.
Also fickle, fickle, fickle.
>>16493827
Eh, she definitely danced on the line.
She probably thought she was going to get you good with this one.
My boyfriend hardly laughs at my jokes, and when i ask why( I know he thinks they're funny), he says with a smile "then you'll have won."
I think she's just excited that someone can be goofy with her.
Yeah, she probably crossed the line, but you couldve just as easily just hugged her and said "that's really not funny in the least, don't ever do that again. It made my heart drop."
And then you couldve joked "this present better be damn good."
Like, she wouldve got the picture if you had done that, I know its easier to come up with a better reaction in hindsight, but I'm just letting you know.
You both couldve done something better. She couldve just said "we need to talk" and then pulled out the present, and you couldve talked straight forward to her, and assumed if you talked in a serious matter that she could handle that.
What you did was basically make her feel awful for something she thought you would appreciate and its making her feel conflicted inside, like "I was only joking. I didnt mean to hurt his feelings. I hope he feels better. but if he did something like this I would be fine. Well I mean, if he's just going to stonewall me, fine!"
Tip: never stonewall, it shows you dont respect the other person enough to talk to them like an adult, which is what you did.
>>16493827
Tell her that you just can't get over how she broke your trust so casually and then has the gall to blow off your genuine feelings and act offended when she's the one who was out of line. Tell her that you can't be around her for a while and that you need some time to clear your head. Pack a suitcase for a 3 day trip and leave, refuse to tell her where you're going if she asks. Begin radio silence and don't answer any calls or texts from her. Stay at a friends house or a hotel or something for at least 24 hours and then text her back saying that this incident has really shaken the foundation of the relationship in your eyes and that you think you should take a break from each other and ask when she's going to be home so you can come by later that day and get your stuff. Show up at the door with a bouquet of red roses and say, "Haha, I was just kidding, did you really think I was going to break up with you?" when she comes to the door.
>>16493857
pls no fick.
About relationships- depends on how you were raised by your parents, then how you integrated into school society.
About food- Depends and what nutrient you're lacking. I know pregnant womens hormones get weird which is why "pickles and icecream" is a thing.
Future plans- everyone. Ask any college graduate if they ever changed their minds about a degree.
Clothes- Never. you'll always be the fick what this one.
>>16493862
>>16493871
Both genuinely great options.
>>16493552
Yeah. My mom has terrible judgment.
>>16493512
Ladies, do you ever think about how much you affect men just for being a woman? Like, your actions are weighted differently because of your gender. There's so many threads of dudes analyzing innocuous things that women are do as if it was somehow special just because of your gender. Does this bother you?
>>16493880
For every guy doing that, there's a girl doing the same about a guy's actions. I'm not a special snowflake by virtue of my gender
>>16493764
bump
>>16493872
I see. It's just getting annoying that 1 day I'm determined to go to grad school and the next day I want to get a seasonal job. Or like, one day, I want to marry my boyfriend and the next I'm considering breaking up with him.
It's annoying that I think like this back and forth for important things, but not useless stuff.
>>16493880
My old pyschology teacher admitted when she see's girls crying in the hall she thinks "oh, they'll get over. whatever." and when she see's the boys crying she's genuinely concerned.
So its two sides, same coin.
Its harder to be away from kids as a women
Its harder for people to assume you're a good parent and not just a "good dad" if youre a man.
>>16493884
Yeah, you're right, girls do that too. I mean shit, every teen movie has scenes where girls are talking among themselves trying to analyze something that a guy did/said and trying to figure out it means he likes her.
>>16493889
Breaking up or staying together is a totally normal one.
Its a big life decision. is this the man I really want to be with?
And do i reallt want to spend precious time in grad school when I could be finding a job?
Not unusual for everyone.
Guy Here:
>>16493552
Probably. The last girl my mom like was actually scared off by my family. In the girl's words "your family was intimidating." She ended up cheating on me so it worked out well I guess.
If it was a serious relationship and not just dating, then I would probably try for mom's approval of 'at least I don't hate her.'
>>16493771
Not really know. We can tell that there's a different smell (like using different odors to mask it) but we don't know what it is. At least, that's my perspective on it.
i'm 20m and still a virgin.
there are several girls who would fuck me (90% sure)
however, i don't really find them super attractive, maybe like 6-7 out of ten.
Should i keep waiting for someone i like/think is attractive or should i just fuck someone to get it over with?
I feel like i'm lagging at this point (even though i know it's pretty common to be a 20yo virgin)
I've had like 2 other opportunities to have sex, one was with a girl who i had known for like 3 weeks and when she asked me to go back to her room and fuck i just got bad vibes like she wasn't right, like a pit in my stomach where i wasn't even in my body anymore it was weird, like my dick was hard but i wasn't in the moment at all, no lust. so i said no and stopped seeing her to sort my shit out.
Second time was more of a one night standish thing with some fobby asian chick in k-town (new york) and i said to myself, am i really going to experience this for the first time with someone i don't even know? and told myself no and then just didn't go through with it.
I keep thinking maybe i fucked up and then i keep thinking that i'm just thinking about it too much.
I honestly don't know what to do, anyone have any tips?
>>16493919
Eh, don't make someones loved one a check box to mark off.
thats just kind of tasteless.
Just wait, fag.
>>16493925
yeah you're probably right
>>16493880
Not particularly, because I do this for men too.
>>16493896
Ok, thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has no idea what to do.
why do breakups after a relationship with a lot of deep feelings involved, seem harder to deal with for men? why does it take them sometimes twice as long as women to get over a breakup? is it because they don't talk about what they feel as easily as women? do they love deeper?
>>16493942
Men feel more alone than women in their battles.
Women are encouraged to make many "alliances" with other women, so in times of need they can "talk it out". Giving them advice along the way.
Men are not encourages to show weakness.
Blame history?
>>16493942
i have this hypothesis that because of changing gender roles more men want to have serious relationships where they love one person very strongly whereas women want to explore and have lots of quick less meaningful relationships.
sort of as a product of social equalization, women want to see what they were missing for however many years.
just a hypothesis
>>16493783
really? cuz I wash and wash but I can still smell it like a cloud of metallic sweet stuff floating around me. yuck
>>16493919
It's up to you. If you want to wait until you're in a relationship with someone you care about before you have sex then by all means, do that. If you just want to lose your virginity to some random chick then go ahead. YOU need to come up with the answer yourself after you think about it and come to a firm decision. There is no blanket right or wrong answer in this situation as it all depends on how you feel about it personally. Just know that being a virgin isn't holding you back or anything and you need to understand that after you have sex for the first time then you'll realize that it's not that big of a deal and wonder why you stressed out about it so much.
>>16493942
>do they love deeper?
based on my experience, yes
>>16493949
Also historically, if a woman can't hurry up and get over a man and "move on" tot he next one, where's her next meal coming from?
Her parents for a while, maybe, but they're gonna get sick of that shit real quick.
A man can live off his own wealth(not true for women now, but the practices that help women along have stayed)
And I honestly feel bad for me, any girl here imagine wanting to just hug your mom or boyfriend or someone and every fiber of your being saying "uhuh, no way."
>>16493963
whoops
>feel bad for men
>>16493949
it's like women keep at least a 1% they don't completely surrender to the man, and use that sort of like a liver to regenerate themselves and keep going, like a lizard's tail....whereas men seem to give themselves completely, as in 99.9% and have less of their own identity to build themselves back up again. but, I can and probably am wrong and biased. I'm only basing these observations on my own perception, my own recoveries.
>>16493951
I never noticed the smell from my current girlfriend before we started having sex and now that I know what her pussy smells like up close and personal when she's on her period then yes, sometimes I can catch a distinct whiff of it when I'm near her. The average person you come in contact likely doesn't notice a thing.
>>16493957
see i know that that's the "right" answer but i literally have thought about this for like 2 years and have not come up with an answer.
Part of me says sex is special and emotional and should be shared with loved ones only.
Another part of me says that sex is just an evolutionary quirk that sustains the species and now that we no longer need to sustain the species it's just a fun activity.
Then i say, no it has too many chemicals released during the brain that prevent that (also an evolutionary quirk) and that to think of it as just a fun thing is too reductive.
Then I say but ok we're in the 21st century and we as intellectual beings can manage these hormones and feelings.
Then i just give up and masturbate.
>>16493976
You're making it into a much bigger deal in your head than it really is to be honest.
>>16493971
I mean, its dumb if you're surrendering 100% of your being to someone who's not your kid.
You do it to your kids because you have to make sure they survive to pass on your genes.
And what does "give themselves" even mean to you?
I tell my boyfriend all my secrets and shit, but one I was picking my nose and this fat bitch caught me in 1st grade. He knows nothing about that, but does that mean I'm not giving myself 100%?
>>16493982
so what does that mean i should just go with the flow
i think that's what i'll do
easier anyways
but i feel like sex is such a big deal in western society, it seems to drive everything. Maybe i read to much foucault
>>16493982
>>16493994
I think it depends on the sex. Some nights with my girlfriend I think we just fuck for fun or pleasure. I think some nights we make love and connect deeply. Quickie vs. all night love making I suppose. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying both with the same or different people, it is the 21st century like you said.
>>16493942
I would say it's biological. It makes more sense for a man to plant his seed and leave. It makes more sense for a woman to keep a man to help support children. Modern long-term relationships show that these men can "reject" their need to spread their genes everywhere. I believe it's more of a sacrifice, for the man, in this respect. Maybe that's why they have it harder?
Also, men approach women more. Maybe they think have to get over their past relationship and work on a new one?
To the ladies/girls in this thread:
1.) What's your opinion on Online Dating? have you tried it and if so, what sites do use?
2.) If you don't use online dating, where would you go in the hopes of meeting someone who could be your significant other?
To the men/guys in the thread:
Same questions to you guys.
Remember to identify if your orientation and gender!
yo someone help a brother out
i met this girl a while back, seemed like a nice girl. we had a lot of sexual tension together, so we flirted pretty much everyday. we both took note of this and decided to go out
she's had one boyfriend before me who she lasted with for about 2 months but then he dumped her for "not being sexual enough." i was pretty baffled by this, she seemed sexual enough to me at least.
anyways I like to give her a lot of affection. I constantly grope her and kiss her and hug her and shit. I get horny after all this too so I like to try to take it further. she's told me she's uncomfortable with a lot of sexual things so I've been patient. she's a virgin, so am I but I'm not a nervous wreck about it like she is. the most she's done is give her bf a blowjob twice before and she hated it.
bottom line is I've gotten blueballed everytime I've hung out with her. And it's not like it's her fault, but I don't know what to feel. I like to give her a lot of affection but she doesn't do it as often as I do but she says she really likes me. I brought up the affection thing and she was seriously upset because she thought I was doubting the relationship. I just can't accept that after all that sexual tension she's just not sexually compatible with me. She's a really nice girl...this blows guys.
Any tips?
>>16493942
What situations specifically? Because to judge that kind of thing, you have to consider who broke up with who, why they broke up, how you actually "know" both people feel over it (sleeping with/seeing someone else doesn't count, it's literally the first thing people tell you to do when you're trying to get over the breakup), etc.
So, the answer is it seems that way because that's your experience. It'd be incredibly complicated to judge in any objective sort of way. When people break up it's rarely a completely mutual thing. So one person ends up more hurt, sometimes the guy and sometimes the girl.
>>16494029
I'm a lady, and straight. I've been using okc, and it's been going pretty awesome so far. There are some nutjobs of course, just like in real life. But I've gotten a lot of messages and cool, nerdy dudes who are looking for more than just sex. I've been out on a date already, going on a second one tomorrow.
I was told by some guys on there that the majority of girls on the site are sort of overweight and like high school dropouts or have lame jobs or something? So apparently that makes me a rarity, and is the reason I'm getting so many messages.
Online dating definitely makes it easier to avoid the dime a dozen chads that plague the gym, college, parties, etc. So, I'm feeling really optimistic to finding something worthwhile.
>>16493796
It worked. Thanks
>>16494029
Straight female. I haven't tried online dating, but I have friends who have, for what it's worth. I don't think it's that different to irl dating from my friends' experiences, there are hits and misses just like you would have if you met people in person. I meet people through class, out and about, and I also could meet them through volunteering, though the organisation I volunteer for is mostly retired folk with just a handful of us younger ones
I could need advice. Preferably from the ladies, please.
I am 22, male and I fell in love with my colleague.
We are working together over a greater distance using Skype. We often support each other and share the same opinion.
At first we only talked about the work but we now started smalltalk and posting memes and stuff.
I also met her in person which we probably want to do again when she is in my reach.
However, I have the feeling that she's just nice in the same way she would be to everyone. I have no idea if she got a BF and asking her out could damage our relation at work.
Should I take the risk?
>>16494050
talk openly about sex and sex related subjects, maybe that'll ease her up. That is if she wants to talk about such things.
>>16494344
Nope, leave the ball in her court. She might just be friendly because she wants to be your buddy i.e just a little bit more than just colleagues, but not as far as gf/bf shit. You've decided that you like her, so let her decide that she likes you. If she makes a move, do so too but don't make the first one just in case.
>>16494344
As a dude who has dealt with workplace romances: Don't do it unless you're ready to leave your workplace or get transferred.
If you work in the same department, they may move you somewhere else regardless if she wants to date you. Just fair warning to you, anon.
I suggest something simple to start with that is off the clock. "Hey X, that was a tough [thing we did], do you want to get some coffee/food after we are done?" you'll be able to find out if she has a boyfriend or is interested from there. At worst, you had a 'pseudo' date with her and you know she's not interested...meaning you have closure.
At best, she likes you and you get a chance at another date.
Guy here.
tl;dr: How do I TACTFULLY get a female coworker to disengage from me? She's trying to "fix" me and is not hiding it.
The quick story
>Live outside US for nearly four years, mostly in self-imposed isolation (lots of travel, didn't want to connect and break all the time)
>Return, severely disconnected from most American "culture"
>Get back into the swing of making friends, I'm not totally autistic
>Make friends in and out of work.
>Decide to practice talking to women by striking up regular conversation with female coworker (6/10, no looks, terrible personality)
>She wants to start hanging out outside of work, I dodge and decline all invites
>She's been asking about my holiday plans.
>Slip up and mention I'm staying inside on New Years (whoopdee fuck, the calendar changed, I want to sleep)
>Constantly harping about what we're going to do on New Years.
>Constantly making comments about my behavior and how she's going to fix me. Not even hiding it.
>>16494401
Tell her you have a gf (who still lives wherever you were for four years).
Just say you aren't comfortable doing things with women behind her back
>>16494414
That's not a good idea, that'll just be making up a lie that will have to be maintained over time and cause more issues down the line.
>>16494414
Okay, I like it. Even though I made the dipshit mistake of letting her know I'm trying to get back in the dating game, I can say I found someone and lie my ass off.
Anyone think of any possible backfiring?
>>16494420
You're assuming the two ever have to meet. Which they won't.
>>16494429
No, I'm assuming that this girl will continue being a pest and randomly prod and ask things about anon's supposed girlfriend. Then other people will eventually overhear it and say, "I didn't know you had a girlfriend anon, who is she" and then anon will have to either lie to those people or clandestinely bring them into the fold and expect them to keep the secret from the annoying co-worker girl as well. This shit will grow and grow and be more complicated than anon just telling the co-worker that he's not interested up front. It's also pretty immature to lie about something like that when he could just say, "listen, I've got nothing against you but I'm not interested in you romantically and I really do just want to stay at home on New Year's and catch up on some rest."
Why would she say my eating chocolate is a bad habit?
>>16494479
Maybe she's a health nut, maybe she has bad teeth and gets cavities easily and is projecting her experiences onto you, maybe you don't generally brush your teeth well and there is an actual danger of you getting cavities, maybe she doesn't want you to get fat, maybe you're already a fat fuck and she doesn't want you to get diabeetus, maybe you should ask her what she means when she says that.
Guys, say you'd been talking to a girl consistently for a few months. You'd only met up in person twice because you're both busy and later on she injured herself, but texted/Facebook messaged every few days. You lack experience with women and you get nervous around them. You'd really liked her, but she started to lose interest - stopped responding as much and as frequently etc. It's your birthday and she texts you happy birthday, the first contact between the two of you in several weeks. Would you be interested in rekindling whatever you'd had before this?
Note: I'm neither party in this scenario, I'm just curious how you'd deal with this
>>16494558
I'd see if she wanted to hang out and do something fun and just feel it out from there.
It would definitely be the last attempt I made with her.
>>16494558
I'd cautiously try to use the opportunity and try not to be too pushy.
>>16494479
Why do you attribute any significance to that statement whatsoever?
>>16494029
Straight male
1.) Online's ok, it's the same as anything else. It's just another avenue to meet people. I feel like where a lot of guys mess up is they're inexperienced and don't realize that contacting a stranger is the same as cold approaching a stranger in real life; you're going to have to go through a lot of misses before you get a hit. I used to use POF and OKC, I liked OKC a lot more and actually met my GF off there.
2.) I wouldn't. Actively immersing yourself in the dating scene is one thing, but purposely engaging in normal social situations with the sole intent of finding a SO just kind wraps you in an air of desperation and makes everything super inorganic and stilted.
>>16494558
>Would you be interested in rekindling whatever you'd had before this?
Dunno, sounds dead desu. I'd thank her but not make any moves.
I need advice
So there is this girl I've been talking to via text for a few months now (haven't met in person, but will be very soon). I really like her. Like I really like her, but because of that. I'm starting to actually want to distance myself. It's weird. Like the thought of her wanting to be with me bothers me. I definitely don't feel deserving of her. And although I'm doing fine now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to kek myself when we meet. I like almost feel intimidated because to me, she's practically perfect and I don't deserve that. as it gets closer to us meeting, the more anxiety I'm getting. And it's not like excitement. It's like dread. Which doesn't make sense because I like her. How do I get over this?
Girls, have you ever masturbated to the thought of having sex with somebody you know, without actually having any feelings for them?
>>16494626
You take the pussy off the pedestal.
>>16494626
Meet up with her. I guarantee you she's not as perfect as you think she is
>>16494627
Never
Girls, when it comes to sex what age do you think is right,also whats up with the size of the penis and if a dude is average what does he have to do in order to compensate,and also any tips for a first time sex.
>>16494626
I don't have much experience with this, but I'm going to make a guess and say she probably goes through the same thing right now. That's why you shouldn't mistake her symptoms of freaking out as evidence for whatever fears of having fucked something up you'll have at that moment.
>>16494637
I'm a guy but I read this post and thought, who the fuck cares, then read this
>tips for a first time sex.
And thought "oh, of course." Only the clueless think any of that shit matters.
>>16494633
Im not expecting to fuck her when we meet.
>>16494637
Your first time's going to suck, the rest of it doesn't matter
If I'm good-looking all I have to do is wait and not act like a sperg, right?
>>16494650
>I really like her
>Like I -really- like her
>the thought of her wanting to be with me bothers me
>I definitely don't feel deserving of her
>to me she's practically perfect
>I don't deserve [her]
You have placed her on a pedestal of unattainable height. Take her off the pedestal.
>>16494679
It could work, but probably won't. If you want something, you have to get it
Why is my girlfriend always super- nice when she's on her period? All of a sudden she's really interested in what I have to talk about and everything I say seems to be the "right" thing.
Obviously I'm not complaining but isn't it kinda supposed to be the opposite when aunty flo comes for her monthly visit?
Is it bad if I want to use protection while eating you out? I know it shows lack of trust, but then why use condoms period?
>>16494688
Sounds like a cross between "Fuck" and "Tickle".
How soon can I get fetishy? After how many dates can I ask her to sit on my face and smother me? We've fucked once and went on three dates.
>>16494710
How do you even "use protection" when "eating someone out"?
>>16494716
Ease into it and gauge her mood, ask her if she wants to try doggy and then move up the ladder from there.
Best way to tell is if you ask her, 'have you done x before?'. if she doesn't pull a face of disgust then it's not off the table.
>>16494716
Too soon, wait until you're having sex on the regular to start throwing fetishes in the mix.
>>16494731
Did doggy and anal in the first week with my current girlfriend desu.
Girl here.
What do you think about a shy girl? Should I try to be more active in talking?
Also do you prefer if I'm the one to take the initiative to chat with you or not?
>>16494725
Ever heard of dental dams? Did you not do sex ed in class or something?
How do I ask my boyfriend if he wants to try watersports? Pissing in mouths, on each other, etc. It's really thrilling thinking about it but I know this is a little "deviant" and might scare him off.
>>16494680
I guess. I guess the other shitty part is I have terrible self esteem
>>16494710
Hormones don't act the same for everyone. My attitude doesn't change at all.
My bathroom habits give it away though.
>>16494739
Doggy is completely vanilla these days.
Anal isn't too far out there either, I normally tease a girl's asshole with a finger and gauge her reaction and then bring up the topic of anal pretty early in a relationship. Some girls are into it, others are absolutely opposed to the idea.
I was assuming the other anon had some fetishes that were way out there.
>>16494705
PMS is different for each girl so maybe it's just hers.
Or my guess is because a lot of girls easily angered and become so emotional during that phase she try to be nice to you in order to avoid being emotional and destructive.
>>16494744
Being shy isn't bad. But if you don't initiate, you need to make sure you show that you're interested. If a guy you like is talking to you, don't just laugh and look at the ground. Otherwise he might get the idea that you're not interested in him and throw him off
>>16494759
Shit. That was meant for
>>16494705
>>16494744
>What do you think about a shy girl?
Cute!
>Should I try to be more active in talking?
If you can, or just trying to signal that you're appreciating the conversation when you have one, to make sure he doesn't mistake your behaviour for disinterest.
>Also do you prefer if I'm the one to take the initiative to chat with you or not?
Absolutely. I'm never sure myself whether I'm being too pushy or almost creepy when I'm the one who usually initiates a conversation. Having some way to know that the other person actually wants to talk and isn't just being nice is good.
>>16494761
No, my fetishes are pretty vanilla I guess but still outside the norm of strict vanilla. Facesitting, fishnets, rough sex (esp. woman initiated).
>>16494747
Are you the same girl who made a thread about this a while back?
>>16494746
Forgot about them, sex ed class was over 10 years ago and I've literally never seen a dental dam in real life.
>>16494768
Nope.
>>16494772
You're going to probably have to get him drunk. Even if the sexiest girl alive came up to me and said she wanted me to piss on her face I wouldn't be able to do it. At least sober.
Girls, would you be weirded out if your boyfriend asked to watch you shower? Kind of a weird fantasy of mine.
>>16494766
I pull hair, slap ass, and pound that pussy pretty much the first time I have sex with someone, never had any complaints.
Fishnets should be fine but I'd wait until you see each other a couple more times before you start requesting outfits.
I'd save facesitting for last because some girls are weirdly self-conscious about their vagina and might need extra time to be more comfortable with you as before they'll feel okay with smushing their pussy into your face.
>>16494795
The ultimate fantasy for me is having a girl in fishnets forcefully facesitting on me. muh dick
>>16493552
I trust my mothers judgement and I'd hear her out if she disliked a girl I brought home. I wouldn't blindly follow her, but there's probably a decent reason why she disliked her.
>>16493942
Men tend to have less substantial support structures than women. It's easier to move on from a negative event when supported by friends and family.
>>16494029
>Same questions to you guys.
I have nothing inherently against online dating, but I think it's a lot more effort than dating in the traditional way usually. Women have to sort through a lot of creepers, and men struggle to be noticed to begin with (in large part because of said creepers).
>>16493795
I think I started maturing in that area after middle school, through high school, and now I would say I'm not very fickle.
>>16493880
Nah
>>16494627
Nope
>>16494763
>>16494765
Thanks! Your answers are really spot on.
Especially this.
>I'm never sure myself whether I'm being too pushy or almost creepy when I'm the one who usually initiates a conversation. Having some way to know that the other person actually wants to talk and isn't just being nice is good.
Lot of time I was waiting for the boy in my class to talk first to me since sometimes I don't really have topic to talk but I then I feel that boys aren't comfortable to initiate conversation to me. Glad to know the reason may be as you've explained.
I'm 26 years old with a 7 year old daughter. My wife died during childbirth.
I haven't dated in four years. I'm a little "out of the game" if you can call it that. How undateable am I? Men seldom want to meet single mothers, is the true for single fathers?
>>16494637
Personally, I think people should wait until they are at least in their 20s. Hopefully they are financially and emotionally secure enough to deal with birth control and pregnancy, because you risk pregnancy every time you have sex no matter what. I think it's incredibly disrespectful to risk that when you're still being supported by your parents and you know the burden would be on them.
Also, dicks can be too big. I think it's best to be average.
is there like a baseline for how wet a girl "normally" is?
i was feeling up a girl today and i stuck my hand down her pants and it was like someone spilled a fucking softdrink on her vagina holy shit it was disgusting i dont even wanna go near vaginas anymore
>>16494856
26 with a 7 year old is a hard sell. Most people consider having a kid at 19 a red flag for both males and females
>>16494864
how underage are you?
I have a problem with intimacy. I was raped over the course of my childhood by a woman as well as physically abused. I like to think I'm okay now but when it gets down to intimacy, I lock up. I don't get an erection even if I think I'm aroused, I try to get out of any sexual circumstances, and if it gets to the point where I need to perform, nothing happens.
I'm seeking therapy and am told I'm not ready to date. Is dating all about sex, though? I like the companionship and interdependence, but I just don't want to have intimate relations. Even a kiss is draining on me.
>>16494710
That's not bad at all. That's responsible.
>>16494788
Nope I'd be really into it
>>16494856
>I'm a little "out of the game"
Just make sure you keep your hygiene and your appearance neatly, be nice, and not fat.
Someone may come someday.
Or just use the dating service.
>>16494680
I'm not that guy, but how should you approach asking them out if you've only been talking to them for a couple of weeks?
>>16494920
Are you talking about a girl that you know in person or someone you're just talking to online / via text like that other anon?
>>16494744
>What do you think about a shy girl?
Guy here. I find it almost adorable how easy it is to make a shy girl laugh. The hard part, however is to get to know her. When talking/texting she is short on topics and me as the guy had to keep the conversation running.
>Should I try to be more active in talking?
>Also do you prefer if I'm the one to take the initiative to chat with you or not?
You shouldn't wait for your SO to pull every booger out of your nose. Remember, it's not a job interview. :)
Go ahead and ask for his interests, activities, job, etc. and expect him to return the question. But avoid being too curious.
>>16494936
Person, I'm evading chatting. I just chat to her when I'm bored.
>>16494856
the fact you were married and she died will win you some points, maybe with a "Christian" single mom. Obviously not a great Christian to be unmarried and having a kid as most of them do, but you get the point.
But really, you're either going to have three options:
>date an older woman
>date a 18-20 year-old who wants a father figure
>find a single mother your age
>have drinking crew in college (21-22)
>there's one girl in it
>one time we get drunk and cuddle
>becomes a typical thing, we cuddle when drunk
>never kissed her or anything though
>when it's at our place she sleeps downstairs on the futon and I go up to bed
>often drunk text her to come up, but she always says "maybe" or "no"
>never tells me not to ask or to stop asking
>never mentions it the next day
Does she just like feeling wanted or is afraid to catch feels or thinks I'm a player or what? I don't get it
>>16494947
Just ask her if she wants to go out to eat with you sometime.
Or ask her to go get some coffee with you and if you have a good time together at the coffee shop then ask her if she'd like to go on a date with you.
Or ask her to go to the zoo / park with you...
It's really not complicated, you just need to man up and actually ask her to go do something with you. If she asks "who else is going" tell her "It'll just be us". If she asks you "are you asking me out on a date?" then chuckle and say "yeah, I guess. I think you're pretty cool and wanted to get to know you a little better".
>>16494982
I figured out I could say that to her the next time we would meet (in a couple of days luckily), but never thought of a response to a question she might ask. Really great post, thanks.
>>16494954
Option 3.) She knows that a lot of ideas that seem good and feel nice when you're drunk, and become retarded in the light of day when you're sober, and she would rather not regret anything.
If she says no, she says no. If she wants to she'll want she will.
So I recently went out on a date with this girl from one of my classes. It went well and at the end she gave me a hug and said that she had a great time and that we should go out again. In between when I met her and this date, we talk a lot in person, but she doesn't text me very much. I know it sounds like a small thing to be concered with, but I'm dense and I've got horrible self-esteem. Plus, she's very busy between classes and working part time. I just feel like there's no point since it's obvious that she doesn't have the time to date.
>>16494944
>But avoid being too curious
How much is too curious, though? Sex-related is clear if we aren't on that stage yet. I'm sometimes afraid of sounding weird or asking too much.
How do guys feel about pubic shaving bumps? Do you know what they are when you see them or would you think it's herpes or an std?
I recently slept with the guy I'm dating for the first time a few days ago and I shaved all my public hair off. Now I'm seeing him tomorrow and I have a bit of a stuble and a little bit of a razor burn. Do you think he'll be still fine to sleep with me or should I just cancel the date?
>>16495079
I've shaved my junk before and gotten some truly awful razor burn. I just use a trimmer with a guard down there now but don't worry, I know razor burn when I see it and I think most other guys would too.
>>16495079
You might need to explain yourself.
This is why it's good to start/continue shaving for a week ahead of time.
>>16495057
I think what he means is that you shouldn't be afraid to talk about yourself. Don't make it a one-sided conversation where you're just asking him a bunch of questions. Dwell on his stories for a bit before you start prying into even more stuff.
>>16495079
I know what they are. I don't care. I do like a shaved pussy though so that's nice.
>>16495079
anyone with any kind of experience under their belt can distinguish razor burn from a disease
>>16494856
Single mothers arent exactly the most desirable, but they still often manage to make it work. On top of that, I would imagine a single mother would be a great match since you guys would understand the stuff both of you have to work with.
>>16495111
Oh I see!
Does it make sense to pretend you thought a girl was flirting with you? Like "Hey I'm sorry I've been acting cold with you lately. I was seeing someone and I didn't want to give you the wrong idea"
>>16493512
32-year-old woman here. How bad is the dating game for me? Also, what are my chances of finding someone for.a long-term relationship?
My girlfriend some times has a lot of pain after sex. It's her uterus or something. Last time was 2 days ago. I think I'm being too rough on her. My dick is just average size.
>>16495862
It really depends on where you live. Dating should be just the usual if you move around the right circles, and I'd say pretty high chances since guys around your age are already thinking about marriage.
>>16495862
Not bad. You'll have to look for a bit, use your head and time, but should be fine.
>>16495079
Not a fan of them, but I know them when I see them, it's not a disease, and I'd be happy she took the time to do this for me.
>>16494873
Dating is partly about those intimate relations. You need friends, not a partner. And while it's possible to not be sexual in a relationship, those are extremely rare.
>>16494744
>What do you think about a shy girl?
Love'em, so long as they're not TOO shy.
>Should I try to be more active in talking?
Yes please. At least ask questions, have something to contribute, not just answering his questions.
>Also do you prefer if I'm the one to take the initiative to chat with you or not?
I'd prefer it, but I'd understand if you didn't.
girls can you please explain the fucking weird-ass logic here.
I was working this morning and most of my co-workers at at a similar age (18ish) and I'm pretty new to the job so this is only my second week.
anyway just making conversation and one of them brings up "are you single"?
why do women constantly do this, not just at work but with friends as well, i don't think it's because they're interested in me and they've already namedropped the fact that they have a boyfriend close to 7 million times by now.
what is the fucking point?
I normally just reply 'yeah' or if im feeling in a good mood ill just grin and say whos asking? I never get a coherent reply to that though.
A question to the grills ITT:
How would you react if a guy you were dating told you he was dealing with depression? Dump him? Help him?
Also,
Do grills care much if their boyfriend doesn't have many close friends?
>>16493512
Girls, I have a delicate question. 3 days ago I had sex with my gf and the condom got stuck inside her, we had to go to the hospital to get it out. She's a very sensitive person and now she feels very scared. I told her why it happened and what we can do to avoid it but she won't listen. She's saying stuff like "I'll never be able to have sex again" and "find another woman who can satisfy you better than me". She also doesn't want to take the pill or other contraceptive methods. What can I do to make her feel safe again? I love her, I don't want another woman.
>>16496024
Definitely dump him.
I want a man, not a whiny manbabby who's constantly depressed and brings me down with him. Either man the fuck up, or have the decency to break up first if you can't be a strong man.
>>16496075
/r9k/ is leaking again.
>>16496079
Awww, is the wittle beta loser upset?
Nobody wants to be a second mommy for a depressed manchild, women want a proper man.
>>16496087
Keep baiting, maybe some day somebody will actually be stupid enough to fall for it.
To girls
What does how you dress on a date mean? Does casually always mean as friends, while dressed up always mean romantic?
I met up with my crush for the first time in private, and she was dressed more casually than I've ever seen her go dressed before. Should I be worried?
Hey so anyone ever have a situation where a friends girl likes you?
>Girl comes to our city
>Really hot
>My friend bragging how he gets to fuck because they have known each other for a long time.
>I only met her once before and I had a gf so never got her number or anything
>So they fuck and all that and he brings her to hang out with our friends.
>I notice at dinner she is staring at me but I guess she is just across the table so she can't help it
>Notice on the train she is not holding anything for support but in fact standing so close to me my arm is caught between her breasts
>Starts touching my facial hair and getting kinda touchy in general
>When we get to his house even tho they fucked and probably will fuck again that night
>She is all fucking over me staring at me the whole time touching my face
>She even goes so far as to lay her head on my crotch when I lay down
>Calls me handsome etc..
>All while in front of him he gets visibly upset and once she leaves the room asks if I'm trying to bag
>Try to explain to him I'm doing literally nothing (srs I'm just fuckin chilling making conversation)
>But before I can even finish she comes back into the room and slaps my stomach and beings to flirt again.
>Almost totally ignoring friend at this point he leaves for a bit
>She is flat out just touching me up at this point letting her hand rest on my leg and even putting her arm around me once he leaves
>He comes back into the room and see's this and slams his door shut and puts down his drink unusually hard
>When she see's him come in she jumps away from me and hides her face under some blankets
>He basically kicks me out of his house without saying it so directly after this
>When I tell her I'm leaving she is like "What why!?"
>They probably fucked that night too but I got the feeling all I had to do was ask and she would have come to my house instead
>Meeting her alone today while my friend is at class and she leaves our city tomorrow
What do?
Women:
Why are you so fucking crazy?
For real do you have ven realize half the shit you donyou should be in jail for?
>>16496024
Not many close friends wouldn't bother me.
Depression wouldn't bother me either, I wouldn't dump someone for that if I liked them. But I have depression so I would say that.
If they dump you for having depression, fuck them.
>>16496174
It depends on where the date is. It's okay to dress casual, I generally do.
>>16496180
Because we have to listen to whiney bitches like you.
>>16495994
Maybe she was making conversation. People tend to do that.
This may be stupid, but:
>yesterday, girl says she'll tell me today if she wants to go out
>hasn't messaged me yet
>so far I've always been the first one to initiate convos, even though we haven't been talking long at all
I haven't messaged her in general today because she's a bit boring and finding conversation topics is hard enough without having one in mind before even writing.
Should I message her just to get talking and hope she tells me about that? Or will that look like I'm being pushy and want to get her to answer?
Or should I just sit back and wait? Or is she maybe waitign for me to write to her so she can answer me and that way I might miss my chance?
I'm not very good at this crap. In my mind I can't even comprehend all this one person messaging the other giving the other power and making him more bored and all this struggle of power and shit.
>>16496177
Anyone? Should I be the good friend or take the shot?
>>16495931
I doubt your dick is destroying her. Maybe she has an infection? Go to the doctors.
>>16496195
So being organically crazy is a function of someone else?
Sounds bout right and the whiney shit is always comin from a cunts mouth.
Tactic #32 of feminism,the guilt flip.
>>16495527
I think that's okay to say.
>>16496208
You're cute when you get angry.
>>16496206
Be a good friend.
>>16493764
Did you try asking how her day went? Or telling her a story about something that happened to you that day? Conversations continue from things like that
Girl here, am I doomed in the dating game once I'm 25? Since I noticed the trend of guys wanting younger girls.
>>16496236
Guys will fuck anything you are fine. Just make it really fucking clear if you like a younger guy. Alot of us have the idea women like older men and give up before anything.
>>16496236
No, remember your still young. The type of guy u should be looking for is not necessarily the one who likes younger woman. You need an adult with a good future.
>>16496250
>Knows nothing about men
Part of the journey of being a man is finding success so you can pick women rather then the other way around. It's successful men that stereo typically prefer younger women. Meanwhile younger guys often get crushes on older women hence the term milf.
>>16496236
I'm 23 and I've dated a 26 y/o and a 27 y/o.
The main problem is you women are majorly shallow and most of you will never look at a man less than 5 years older than you, especially if you're in your 30s. And I don't mean that you won't be attracted to younger/as old as you men, I mean you won't even look at them - I kind of socialize around older women, since I actually have a responsible job and such and most will immediately cut anything off as soon as they learn I'm even 1-2 years younger than them. Some will learn it after everything is going perfect and then that fact will kill it completely for them.
So in reality it depends on you.
Also I don't know about other guys, but for me age doesn't matter one bit. Even NUMBER of sexual partners doesn't matter. What does matter is how many emotional involvements you've had - long-term relationships, men you've crushed on majorly, friends who have crushed on you for a while, etc.
But that's not something that would be major at 25, unless you've been dating since you're like 10.
>>16493764
Same situation, one thing I've managed so far is to tell stupid stories.
>>16496268
In theory I'm sure every man would prefer the same identical woman in a variant five years younger. But in reality someone who is serious about dating, wants a family in the near future and has his priorities straight, is going to be hesitant about trying for that with someone who has less life experience and is more likely to be whimsical and immature, or look at the idea of a home and kids as a cute dream without realizing what the reality of it entails.
Then again I might be biased because where I'm from marrying <25 if you're not hardcore religious (which is very rare in itself) automatically qualifies you as white trash. So that probably makes a difference as well.
>>16496294
We are from different worlds I'm from a big as fuck city. Doubt we will get anywhere by arguing I've interacted with people from other countries more then I've spoken to small town Americans.
>>16496307
I'm not American. Western European. I didn't mean to argue with you but add that just having a preference for younger women sexually/physically does not automatically make them a preferred serious partner for everyone... If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and start a family knowing they are mature, hands on and patient enough to make a good mother and actual partner who can support you, and that you make good enough conversation with them and have enough of a mental connection to enrich each other's everyday life are extremely important and not tied to looks or younger age.
Want to ask a girl out, but I can bever find her alone, should I just ask her in front of anyone or endure other fucking months until I can find her alone?
Guys, would you ask a girl out for lunch or suggest you two hang out if you just want to have sex (as opposed to actually date/have a relationship)?
How would you go about acquiring each (just sex vs gf)?
>>16496321
I'd just invite her over to my place. For whatever, dinner, watching shit. That's pretty fucking clear.
I have an ugly smile. Can I do anything about it?
>>16496321
Casual sex = casual invite to chill sometime at night.
Date/relationship = meet for coffee/dinner/whatever
Lunch = maybe date, maybe just a friend.
All of those could also be anything at all.
>>16496451
what do you mean ugly smile?
crooked teeth, weird lips, what?
>>16496236
Nope. I'm male, 26. I don't really date anyone a couple of years apart from me. My gf is actually even a year older than me.
Girls: Why texting?
Guys, would you make sexual jokes with a girl even if you weren't just planning to pump and dump her?
Went on a blind date. Not attracted to girl whatsoever. End up running into her friend who is single and super cute.
Is there a non-douchey way to get her friends number?
>>16496206
Depends entirely on how close this friend of yours is, if you'll feel guilty about it, and if you'll be able to lie to your friend.
she's obviously a slut, so if it's not you, it'll be another guy from wherever she's going.
Though she might be one of those bitches who gets off by destroying friendships, so be prepared to lose your friend.
>>16496318
I've been there. I found myself asking one of her friends her phone number. I was lucky though, depending on your culture that friend might tell you to ask yourself, so maybe ask a mutual friend.
>finally get aryan qt3.14 gf
>we have been dating for 6 weeks
>she is everything i ever dreamed
>she isn't clingy or very expressive (she is a closed person) but i know she loves me a ton
>somehow i keep getting insecure and anxious about our future
>about something is wrong at our relationship(despite she saying everything is fine
>i keep thinking one day she will just get tired of me
>or just stop liking me
I know i am being insecure and i shouldn't think about the future and if i keep with this mindset shit will go down, its just she is the best person i ever had. She is extremely beautifull, funny, smart, catholic, made me quit drugs, she helps me when i'm depressed and i'm afraid of losing her. I know i'm a greay boyfriend too and help her with all her needs but sometimes i think i'm too needy/show too much affection to her(even though she says i dont)
How do i deal with these feels? How do i fix this shit?
>>16496600
You sound perfect, and if she's really what you described her to be then she's not lying that you're not needy. Girls like it when their bfs show affection.
Just stop worrying. Drop any worry, it's that simple. Sometimes you invite problems just by worrying too much. You're causing yourself paranoia and that's why you think something is wrong.
>>16496600
If she was there for you when you hit the lows in your life (drugs, depression), why would she leave you on your highs? sounds like you're doing fine. Your anxiety might annoy her though, so stop worrying.
>>16496607
I sent 12 roses to her when we did 1 month dating, one week after this she cut herself(she was on her period and she has this problem of being too closed so she tried to release the stress, she isnt depressed or crazy) and i bought her a rose and a box of chocolate,(this was on friday) i did a small cut on my arm(not even depressed) and said to her that she shouldn't feel ashamed or embaressed because of that and she isn't alone
Every day i mark her on cute instagram posts/quotes, i always writes her something cute, i always write poetry to her, i alwasy tell her how she saved my life, how she is unique and special, how no one else is like her, every thing that she is too me, how smart, beautifull she is and i not only talk as i do great acts of love to her.
Saturday around midnight, we fought because i was jealous and she went asleep because she wanted me to calm down, the next morning i went to church to surprise her and spent the morning with her family, she loved this because she knew i was never religious
However she doesn't reciprocate this alot, i only know how she loves me because she is always there for me, she always listen to my problems, she tells me thing she never told to anyone and stuff; she doesn't do these stuff i said and while it might be her own way sometimes it bugs me ( idk if its me seeking validation or something like that or if i'm right)
>>16496609
She was my friend for two years and knew i was addicted, knew i was a ''player''(i hooked up with all her friends before getting with her)
One week after we hooked up i relapsed and got arrested she still supported me, she believed in me like no one ever did, she gave me a future and is helping me get out of this abyss, that's why i'm afraid of losing her and never finding someone so beautifull and with these same qualities as her.
I know this anxiety is caused by insecurity and i keep telling me stuff to make me confortable and safe however it still doesnt go away. ty for helping
>>16493771
Nope. It's too dense to smell.
Girls: Are digital watches on a guy a turnoff?
Mostly use mine for my outdoor exercises when going for walks and shit.
Okay, /adv/ I think I am overthinking this but I wanted to keep this conversation a little neutral over facebook. I didn't want to come off as too strong but I at least wanted to make it known that I was a little interested in her. My plan was to keep it short and sweet over the internet and when I do see her in person, ask for her number and eventually to take her out and get to know her over some coffee and macaroons. Depending on how it goes, maybe layer the initial date and take her somewhere cool to just sit and chat (thinking of the beach or park at night and stargazing since I can point out a few constellations). So the advice I need is where do I go from here? Should I wait a while to go in and see her? Was my conversation TOO neutral?
Thanks in advance, friends!
Girls: I'm a good looking guy. A girl I work with always gives me a big hug when I come into work. She occasionally says I love you and grabs me near my hips sometimes as well. She's jokingly pretended to go down on me. Also whenever we get a new hire she always tells them that I'm her boyfriend later of course saying not really.
I text her ever so often and I think i'd like to get with her in some capacity. The first time I texted her recently she asked me to hang out with her. I asked an older dude I work with if he thought she was in to me he said maybe but thinks she just plays games. Thing is there are other attractive guys there and she only does this to me.
Question: Is she in to me or not?? Should I start trying to hangout with her?
>>16496321
Eh for dudes that like to just fuck that's a little to much work I think. He'd probably try and "hangout" with you at your place or his honestly. But who knows really depends on the guy.
>>16496682
I'm a guy but I say you might as well go for it man. If it works out, it works out. Just don't get your hopes up too much. If she says no and she's just playing games with you, you're not losing much. as awkward as if may be IF she says no, just continue to act as you were before it all happened and make it seem like it didn't even matter to you.
>>16496669
That's not pushy at all, completely conversational. You're good bro.
>>16494558
>Would you be interested in rekindling whatever you'd had before this?
Yes. I assume it ended on bad terms since she cut contact. I don't like getting cut off by people I actually had a fun time with. I want a reason for closure.
At the very least, have one final talk about why things went the way that they did and say goodbye in a friendly manner.
>>16496692
That's what I'm thinking man. Also if she does say no I mean it's honestly not my fault. I'm sure you would agree that she led me the fuck on. So should I just try and hangout with her like she said before and see where that leads?
>>16494747
Try to imagine how it would be when he was the one with the fetish and wanted to ask you about it.
Would you be weirded out? Leave him for being a pervert?
>>16496735
Yeah, you already know that she could possibly be leading you on. Use that to your advantage. If you invite her out a couple of times and it goes well, great. But if you find out she's just messing with you, you had that idea the whole entire time so you wouldn't be crushed or anythjng. Just don't let that idea of her playing you change the way you interact with her.
>>16496735
If you go out, youre already comfortable enough to get physical with her, plus it sounds like she likes you.
Question for girls: Ive been dating this girl for about a month and a couple of weeks. Its seems like such a short time, but we've been doing really good. A lot of people have been wondering if Im gonna ask her to be my gf and that I shouldnt take too long to do this because girls get desperate. Is this true? Im thinking of asking her in december. Is this good enough timing?
>>16494744
Shy girls are awesome. They usually have specific interests and you can talk for hours about it with them.
>Should I try to be more active in talking?
Probably. If there's a guy you like and you wait for him to make a move, you'll lose him because you don't seem interested.
>Also do you prefer if I'm the one to take the initiative to chat with you or not?
Same answer as above and yes. I try not to be too pushy and come off as annoying, so if I'm getting short answers/none at all/very late replies, I assume so and wait for you to make a move.
>>16496746
Thing is that guy I asked is a bitter dude. So have you met girls that do stuff like that(in terms of leading men on)? Because I've seen girls lead dudes on but her behavior seems so much more extreme. Why would she always grab me around my hips? Tell people she's my boyfriend?Grab my chest when no ones around and drop down and pretend to give me head? IDK his comment has just really stuck with me.
I got two tickets to theatre. Would it be appropriate if I asked out a random girl I don't know and she doesn't know me? (I believe rejection odds increase)
>>16496759
Idk man, all I can say is that if you feel it, go for it. My ex and I met at work and she would call me babe all the time and stuff and we'd mess around. All my coworkers told me she was trouble because she did a lot of hard drugs and messed around with guys. Turns out she had a lot of anxiety and suffered from depression never had a good experience with guys, was bullied in highschool etc. We dated for a year and just recently broke it off (we kind of just grew our separate ways which is totally okay). You never really know how someone is until you get to know the real them. She was a great girl and all and even though we went out separate ways, I wish her the best. Just do what you feel is right my man, no one knows what's really best for you but you.
>>16496772
Alright man I got nothing to loose. Your story is also weirdly familiar (swap hard drugs for weed and adderall).
>>16496791
Well I wish you the best of luck. Have fun, you never really have anything to lose, as cliché as it is, there is always some good to take out of any experience
>>16496633
Best question of the thread.
>>16493512
My girlfriend of a year and a half is a bit cold and can be moody (she puts it as bitchy) she thinks im a wonderful boyfriend but considers herself a bad girlfriend, is there anyway I can make her warm up? How can I make her love herself?
>>16496511
Yeah, sure I would. Not inserting or hinting at any sort of sexuality in our conversations with girls that we're interested in is how guys end up in the "friend zone". Without that element, a lot of times the girl will just see us as platonic friends without even considering the possibility of a sexual relationship; a few sexual jokes or innuendo goes a long way towards getting certain girls to see you as a potential romantic/sexual partner.
It also helps weed out the girls who are uptight or uncomfortable in regards to sexual things. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that per se, but in my experience girls who aren't very comfortable with sexual topics tend to have other issues as well (mainly poor self-esteem or body image issues).
>>16496564
No, there's really no way to do that without being at least semi-douchey.
>>16496321
If I just want sex -- invite girl over to my place for a "movie night"
If I want to date her -- invite girl out somewhere for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc.
>>16496804
>>16496633
It depends on local trends. Analog is 'old men watches' (a girl friend of mine actually called my analog that) and digital is 'toy watches'.
Personally I don't use watches anymore because lol cellphones.
speaking of which, smart watches are a safe option. They're trendy and good conversation fodder.
>>16496236
No, unless you're too immature for your age.
You should have a concept of morals and be able to make decisions that, while being morally correct, wouldn't benefit you.
Example:
>your bf leaves you for someone else
>the guy you fall in love with is in a relatioship
>later dumps his gf for you
>you accept that
Instead you should not be okay with his decision. I'd lose any respect for you if you're okay with getting your guy in such a way.
>>16496770
It would be super weird, and you're almost definitely not going to find a non-crazy girl to go with you. Take your mother or something
>>16496633
They're a bit out of date and juvenile, if I'm being honest. The only people I know who use digital watches over analog are the ones who can't tell the time that great.
>>16496564
Nope.
>>16496506
Why not?
>>16496451
An ugly genuine smile is a million times better than a nice fake one
>>16496864
I see nothing wrong with a girl/guy getting out of a jaded relationship to start a new one with a better partner. Unless of course s/he didn't even attempt to save the former relationship. It's all a subjective matter and varies depending on perspective.
>>16496759
Eh, if she's ONLY doing that kind of stuff to you then she's probably into you and not just playing around.
It's weird though, I've been with a couple of girls that acted REALLY sexual with me like what you describe (talking/joking about sex, grabbing my dick randomly in public, basically saying flat out that they want to fuck me even in front of a group of people, etc) and they turned out to be some of the most insecure, reserved girls I've ever had in bed. Like the whole hyper-sexualized persona was just a facade to cover up their insecurities and self-esteem issues.
>>16496878
I just can't stand that a relationship, which is bound to fail eventually, is kept on life support until someone else walks along. The person that dumps their partner for that basically never was single after the break-up. They were already in a relationship with the new person.
If a person is worth leaving, then they're worth leaving on their own terms. Not by waiting for someone "better".
