I'm about to fail out of college in the USA (international student) and once I do, my parents are going to pull me back to the third world country I'm originally from. I would blame my failure on depression and anxiety but the truth is I have no motivation and I procrastinate and it's completely my fault. I have no career prospects in that country but I'll probably have to go to college anyway at my parents' behest, and abandon my original career goals. I'll also be completely isolated and friendless due to my anxiety and be living with my parents, so I won't even be able to lead a very independent life.
At this point I'm honestly considering suicide, and were it not for the fact that I don't have access to any suitable methods I would have attempted it already. I'd rather not spend some of the most formative four-to-five years (I'm 20) of my life isolated in a culturally stagnant country, but it seems like I have no other choice. Not really sure what I'm posting for, but any advice would be appreciated.
please, don't commit suicide because you're failing school.
contact a hotline, your college's counselor, anyone who can help you.
why are you failing anyways?
First of all, your most formative years are the first few years of childhood, not when you're 20.
Second of all, you kind of had this coming if you weren't putting in the effort now. If anything, this should be a wakeup call. If you can get professional help in your home country for your 'depression and anxiety' (I question whether those were actually diagnosed or if they're a self-diagnosis).
>>16493575
They're diagnosed and I have been medicated for them but I'm currently not on medication or in treatment
>>16493573
I took a calculus class again to replace my F last semester but I'm gonna fail it again because either I'm just really bad at math or I don't study hard enough. I'm getting barely a C in my other courses and it's going to pull my GPA maybe below a 2
>>16493599
>I'm currently not on medication or in treatment
Why the fuck not?
>>16493607
Haven't found a med yet that doesn't fuck with my sleep and the school psychiatrist has more or less given up on me - not to mention there's a waiting time of about a month before new appointments are actually seen by the doc, any doc in the area really.
>>16493208
Why are you failing college in the first place?, doesn't that mean you're not really into this career goal you're taking?
Right now it's up to you what will become of your life, the same way it has always been.
You said it yourself, you are procrastinating and unmotivated, maybe you don't really want what you're doing in the first place. From how I see it, you're lost anon, most people in this world are just as lost as you are, that's because were not supposed to have a "clear path" in the first place.
Would you end it all now?, How do you REALLY feel anon?, do you feel like the world just keeps on going that you can't catch up, that everything is chaotic, that you can't control anything at all, even your own life?
What's really bothering you anon?
>>16493208
Depends. How desperate are you?
You could marry a citizen, anon. I think the personal sacrifice might outweigh the benefits there, but I offer it as an option.
What are you currently studying, school rank and what country are you trying to avoid so bad? Is it India/Pakistan bad or some Eastern European country bad?
>>16493208
My advice is to not fuck it up the next time around. Congratulations, your actions have consequences, it's a good thing mommy and daddy are still there to catch you and lift you back up now that you've fallen. Don't do it again.
Just kill yourself OP, it will be better for your parents not having to deal with the piece of shot they failed at raising properly
>>16493573
>>16493787
>>16493941
>expecting actual advice from a board of insecure faglords
You can get help on this, OP, But this is not the place. Look around on Google, redditor and other forums. Online counseling is also an option, but remember that doing nothing for the depression and anxiety will turn out bad for you at the end.
>>16494113
And to add, suicide is not really a smart solution. You come from nothing and you will end up in nothing. Enjoy the ride. Life is suffering.
https://youtu.be/35s4-3T5dJY
You can get in touch with me if you are desperate.
>>16493208
Just runaway take a bus to another state or a flight to another country (if you have the money) and just start fresh. suicide is not the only option
>>16493208
Don't suicide, anon! Please consider that you might give bad name to your third-world country and family if you suicide there.
Failing college is smaller issue than doing suicide.
>>16494694
attempting suicide is less likely to ruin or end your life than failing out of college.
>>16494721
>attempting suicide is less likely to end your life
