I'm in a real need of advice and I can't talk to anybody about this. Here comes another "help me with relationships" thread so bear with me.
I've been in a relationship with my gf for 3 years now. I had feelings for her at the start and still have but it became kind of an on and off thing. I keep telling her that I love her in order to not upset her. I like that I can talk to her about various subjects but she quickly gets bored talking about "non-practical" things or things that "don't have a direct impact on" her. She is very weak willed, she can't say no to something tasty and loves eating more than anything in the world. We also have no common interests.
2 years ago at my uni I met a girl who interested me from the very first day. This might sound cliche but I'm not really sure what got me interested in her. Probably multiple things - her modest way of speaking about things and kind attitude towards life to name a few. She paid extra attention to everything I said or did; I noticed her sometimes recall things I've said months ago at lectures, things that I myself have half forgotten. On top of that she complimented on the products of my hobbies a few times and all this made me to believe that she is also interested in me. She also told me multiple times that I'm "very smart" when I scored A+ on some courses. A desire to be out in nature, spend time to ourselves and mutual dislike towards snobs and hypocrites are some of the things we have in common.
For 2 years I managed to hide my interest towards her but a few weeks ago, after not seeing her for a year, stars aligned in a way that we ended up taking a course which neither of us was going to take but still took because of many variables. Anyways, after a brief chat and a few compliments from her side stating, again, how smart I am, I've been having trouble sleeping and concentrating. Weeks pass and I can't stop thinking about her. It's become so serious that I can't do my homework, I can't concentrate.
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Despite the negative stuff I said about my gf, I still want to be with her because of solid reasons I won't be mentioning here because of irrelevance.
I feel as if every part of me wants to tell the girl how I feel. I genuinely believe that doing so will end the trouble in my mind but there is a problem: what if she really IS interested in me, me opening to her and saying that we can't be together will devastate her which I really don't want to do.
What I'm asking is - should I tell her or not?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I think you need to provide us with a few of the solid reasons why you want to stay with your boring girlfriend.
>>16486184
To begin with, we live in a culturally strong country, where sex is prohibited till marriage. After this point it's easy to guess the first reason. Furthermore, if I don't marry her after being together for 3 years, which is suspicious, I risk being ambushed out in the open or ran by a cur by her uncle.
I burst her ovarian cyst during sex and it had to be removed the next day after a painful and sleepless night while her abdominal region was being filled with blood. She had to be cut from ribcage to vagina because doctors didn't know what was the reason of her stomach being rock hard. Not only did she not say what happened to anybody, she risked death in order to do it.
>>16485984
If you honestly want to stay with you your girlfriend, you shouldn't day anything to the other girl.
It's selfish of you.
I am interested in why you want to stay with your gf however
>>16486222
See >>16486217
I know it's selfish, and far from right, but I am debilitated and it doesn't seem to go away.
>>16486217
Oh wow. That's quite crazy. Sounds too dangerous for you to say anything.
Masturbate while thinking of only your gf for a while and it shoukd renew your interest in her.
Alternatively get out of the country. Doesn't sound like you can be happy there
>>16486243
>get out of the country
Blocked by every country worth going to.
What if the girl has a boyfriend or isn't interested in me anymore/wasn't interested at all. We'll part as friends and be ok with it.
>>16486217
Fair enough, man. I can't even imagine how that's like. I live in one of the most liberal countries in the world. Not having sex before marriage is extremely rare. Being ambushed for not marrying someone after three years is extremely foreign to me. I've been in two long-term relationships, both five years long, and marriage didn't even enter our minds.
If you're going to admit your feelings to the other woman, you should consider moving to a less conservative nation, with her. You wouldn't be the first to do something like that.
>>16486263
>Blocked by every country worth going to.
What do you mean?
>>16486308
I have to meet certain conditions to get visa and I can only get a tourist visa which demands me to have $10k just lying on my bank account, a house/flat registered on my name and relative inside the country. Car, business, being popular are pluses.
Dude, what country do you live in? Just tell us, it's not like we'll track you down or anything.
>>16486332
Sure, I thought it didn't matter.
Republic of Georgia.
>>16486330
This is not a first world problem. You're putting /adv to shame.
>>16486332
This. I only know how to turn it off and turn it back on again.
>>16486362
>This is not a first world problem.
It's not the problem I'm asking advice for, though.
>>16486357
Wat. You're even in the Eurovision Song Contest. It's weird to think that you're not allowed to get out. I know almost nothing about your country, but honestly I thought you were going to tell us you're from Pakistan or something.
I'm from Norway.
>>16486383
I know, I'm just fascinated.
On you advice, we've already told you. Either chose to leave your girlfriend, and somehow avoid getting murdered, or keep your feelings to yourself. Help your girlfriend becomming a more interesting person, idk.
>>16486391
I wish I was from Norway.
Yea, don't believe anything you hear about Georgia. It's a fantastic country with rich culture, landscape and nature but the government is beyond corrupt and makes slaves out of its residents. By the way $10k here is a lot. Average annual salary for is around $2k and that if you are related with someone who can get you a job.
