Go ahead and skip to the end for a summary if you want
Pic related, looks like bf's sister but sister is prettier.
What happened: I lived with my boyfriend and his sister, let's call her "Camisole" for almost a year. I had been kicked out earlier in the year and could not afford living by myself, so my bf, camisole, and I leased an apartment together, and bf's mom paid for Camisole's rent. The mom did not live with us, practical and convenient. For about 6 months at the first apartment everything was okay, she seemed like an OK person, sometimes had some drama but thought she was just an emotional selfish teenager. Lease was up and decided to move to a new apartment with bf and the sister. First few months were hell for me and I moved out soon afterwards. I am sad that I was completely fooled by her, she managed to act like a completely normal person in front of me for so long.
This is what happened at the newer apartment:
Discovered she has victim complex to the ultimate max. Anytime you would CALMLY try to have a discussion where she was in the wrong, pointing to evidence she would ignore it and either: 1. Scream that no one loved her or 2. threaten to commit suicide. Thing is, no one has ever treated her horribly and if someone had ever wronged her in the slightest way, like saying she was selfish for minor things, she would hold onto it and throw it at you in future fights. She would also alter events that never really happened the way she would describe in her head. I want to note that I was extremely careful the entire time to make sure she would never have anything to use against me, no matter how many times she wronged me I did not yell at her.
(cont. in post)
>>16484748
>skip to the summary
>no summary
OP here, continuing. first time posting to 4chan sorry
Ex: My boyfriend and I had a separate room in the apartment, but it had folding doors so we couldn't put locks on the doors. The sister stole my things when I wasn't home, we all had "meetings" to address stuff like this, she would promise to not do it again (but she would do all this shit again). I was calm, but of course it bothered me.
Ex2: She is extremely passive aggressive and delusional. We shared a bathroom at the new apartment, and one day she brought up in a conversation that she was going to buy me conditioner in front of friends. I asked her why, and she said it was because she noticed that I was using hers. I told her very calmly that I did not. But no matter how I denied it, the bitch then whipped out her phone showing everyone photos that she had been documenting "proof" by taking pictures every day of her conditioner. She claimed that the little sud coming out of her conditioner was from me using it, but no matter how many times I denied it, she still thought I did it. Even after I told her that I can't use conditioner for my hair and I only use shampoo.
These kinds of examples happened almost on a daily basis and larger events at least twice a month.
BIGGEST OFFENSE WHY SHE DOESNT DESERVE TO LIVE: her mother was diagnosed with tumorous cancer and on the day after the mom's surgery we were in the hospital, the sister started extreme drama about HERSELF claiming no one loved her and how everyone had it easier than her. How no one expected her brother to be more than he had to be, etc (random delusional things just for attention). She never went to any of her mom's chemo treatments either, I was the one who was there with her.
OP here, last part
She never apologizes for what she has done, if I mentioned I was not okay with something she had done in the past, she would just go, "oh it had nothing to do with you, it was because of ____." well piece of shit, you still caused me trauma by threatening to kill yourself because your brother left a plate on the counter.
She is the worst kind of person and has threatened to kill herself whenever she does not get her way, especially in logical discussions where she is a hypocrite. I truly wish she would commit suicide. She doesn't deserve the life she has. She gets free money from the gov't for "disability" and going to school. She doesn't have a real "disability", it stems from everyone allowing this bullshit behavior while growing up. With all the money she gets, no one asks her to pay rent and her mom buys all of her stuff for her (clothes, textbooks, food, etc). No matter how many constructive logical meetings I had with her, where I tried to have solid reasonable compromises, it only got worse for me. I was baffled that my bf, and his mom allowed this bullshit- so I bit the bullet and now work fulltime while going to school to live at a different place.
Summary:
My boyfriend's sister is a spoilt piece of shit. No one ever holds her to blame and I truly wish she would die. Because of her I have some serious psychological trauma whenever her name is mentioned or think of her, and I desperately want to get over it, instead of having negative thoughts about her. If I'm an awful person, how do I stop being one? I believe I will meet more people like her, so how do I get over this. Thank you
>>16484768
You cant use logic with irrational people
>>16484768
>If I'm an awful person, how do I stop being one?
You're not an awful person, you're were just stuck in a situation with one. It's uncommon to meet someone like her in person, but to actually live with them? Jesus Christ, I don't think I would have dealt with it as well as you did. She sounds like a truly despicable, spoiled person. She's probably used to manipulating others, and different situations, to get what she wants.
Did your boyfriend at least stand up for you? Are you still with him? Was she living with you because of the mom's illness? Where are you staying now?
>>16484768
>She doesn't deserve the life she has. She gets free money from the gov't for "disability" and going to school. She doesn't have a real "disability", it stems from everyone allowing this bullshit behavior while growing up. With all the money she gets, no one asks her to pay rent and her mom buys all of her stuff for her (clothes, textbooks, food, etc).
Why doesn't she have her own place then? Why the hell should you be the one to move out? I'd leave my boyfriend if I was in that situation and he just let her continue with this bullshit--it's completely unacceptable and they're just enabling her behavior. And for as long as you stay with him, and he lets this continue, she will be stuck in your life.
1)intervention
2) maker her move out/kick her to the curb
3)next time she threatens to off herself ignore her/let her get on with it. She'll never do it. She'll suddenly realise noone gives a shit.
OP again,
Thank you, this is truly warming to be able to talk to others about this and to have people who actually see it from my point of view. The hardest part for me is that no one else will ever be able to see the facade she is putting up. In the beginning I did give her what she wanted. I was so kind to her because I thought she was genuinely a nice person. I used to get panic attacks and cry when I was alone due to the situation.
My boyfriend hasn't really stood up for me and we have had many fights over it, but in the end I have come to realize that he has no authority over the issue since he has allowed it his entire life. The sole authority lies with their mom (who does not control the sister at all). So I decided moving out was the best option to salvage our relationship and my sanity
I'm currently living somewhere else with a roomate, and it's okay since it's extremely cordial. It's tough financially since I don't qualify for financial aid, but I am so much happier.I'm still stuck with these thoughts several times a week since she goes to my college and she is still my bf's sister. I have tried to minimize all contact with her, but my bf is still stuck with her and I sometimes hear what's going on. I offered to move out with him at the time, but he didn't want to leave since he rather would not have a job to pay more rent
I have tried so many interventions but like I said, the sole authority lied with her mom and all the "interventions" were half hearted from the mother's side. I did suggest with their mom that either the sister got help again or move out when it was really bad for awhile at the apartment, but the mom essentially told me I should move out if there were issues. I suppose it's because I'm not her responsibility and her mom also gets some money for claiming her as a dependent. Which is fine, since I did move out.
>>16484838
Sounds like their entire family is fucked up and your boyfriend is too
>>16484838
Why are you still with this guy? He's a complete pushover and doesn't have your back at all.
Yo, I just want to tell you that I had a very similar experience with my stepmom. Constantly being suspicious of other people, doing awful things, never apologizing. She'd make up things that she'd done to try and impress us.
Ex1: She says that she moved out of her house at 16 and became a real estate agent, but she's such a fucking liar I don't even know if that's true or some kind of pity play.
Ex3: She accused me of watching porn on my half-brother's iPad. Idk if he accidentally clicked on something or if she made it up entirely, but it was the catalyst for getting "the talk" with my dad.
Ex4: She goes clubbing sometimes, and I've seen videos of her that she posts on instagram in which she's driving home, completely hammered, early in the morning.
There are so many more examples, but all are the same.
What makes it horrible is that she's a MOTHER. She has two children who I'm very thankful haven't died because of her negligence and stupidity. She was always lying, starting arguments, and everything else you mentioned in your post (replace killing herself with moving out and taking the children). I think I was like 12 during most of these events too, so it was all the more scary.
In the end, I decided to stop seeing my dad and my baby brother altogether. Haven't seen either in more than a year and it fucking sucks, but ultimately it was the best option.
Don't listen to the people on here telling you to ignore her suicide threats or somehow manipulate her into becoming a better person. You can't out-manipulate a manipulator, you can't reason with people like these, and you can't expect them to become better people. If you do, you're just throwing time, energy, and pain into a bottomless vortex. You'll only end up giving them the attention that they're trying to get. You just have to excise these people from your life like a cancer, or it's just gonna get worse. You have to entirely cut these people off, even if it means also dropping someone who you love.
>>16484748
>>16484764
>>16484768
Break up with your boyfriend isn't an option? i mean... you don't have to deal with his baggage, you don't have to be in this situation.
>>16484875
Exactly. If he and his mom want to enable this kind of shitty behavior, great, they can all be miserable together, it's not your problem.
OP here,
I think a big reason I don't break up with him because I'm weak. I don't have any friends or family to rely on anymore and it's too difficult for me to live my life truly alone right now. I tried to break up with him less than a week ago, but he cried about how much he needs me in his life and other things… He does have many issues probably due to being suppressed by his family while growing up. I do love him and there are positives to him, just many negatives as well. I wish I wasn't so weak because I would never be in the situation I am now. I wish I could take everyone's good advice. Thank you for your kindness anons, I feel my heart has been lifted.
Hi Anonymous,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, especially since she is in a role of authority and you probably couldn't escape the emotional abuse on your own. I'm glad you have been able to get relief from it now. Thank you for the advice, I didn't try to change her in anyway or make her a better person. I only brought up issues when it interfered with us living together, and then suggestions for solutions. I just feel awful that I want her to stop existing, but it doesn't supersede the actual thought of her death. And I need a way to cope with this since she probably won't die…
I need to work on improving myself. I want to be able to protect myself in the future from people like "camisole"
>>16484947
Sounds like a pretty shitty relationship
Seriously just break up with him
Do you want to deal with a family of retards for the rest of your life?
>>16484748
So? Some people are crazy. So what? So you avoid her as much as possible, treat her shit as craziness and don't let it get to you, suggest that somebody get her psychological help but stand back and let them do it.
Where does your bf stand on this? Does he acknowledge her craziness? Then it's his job to deal with her.
>>16485001
Maybe you should try reading before you post you faggot
www.khanacademy.com
