Jealousy
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I've been dating this girl for 2 years now, and we are the perfect couple. We're in love like no two people could be in love, and I trust her more than anything... But I get extremely jealous over menial shit. She has like 1 female friend, and a ton of guy friends, and I hate it. I hate all of them, and my jealousy gets to the point where it starts interacting with my Schizophrenia, and I end up always thinking about butchering those guys. What do I do? She's tired of it, and I hate feeling like my heart is pumping venom. I need help.
Pic unrelated, obviously.
>I get extremely jealous over menial shit
You obviously don't trust her more than anything then.
>>16481129
It isn't like that. It's not that I don't trust her, it's that I can't stand the thought of her thinking about someone else. I don't think she's cheating on me, but I know they stare at her, and that is enough to make me want to kill them.
I get extremely jealous due to my own insecurity and huge lack of confidence in myself. I'd love to kill girls that are prettier than me. We have so much in common.
Do you like yourself, OP? Because this is most likely not a problem specific to your current relationship. It's a you thing. You have to have the confidence that you can trust your girl, and the confidence to face life if she ends up being unfaithful.
>>16481142
I don't. I don't see anything in myself that she claims to see, and no, I'm not confident in my ability to keep myself from going on a killing spree if she does cheat on me. I just don't know how to make this stop.
>>16481102
soo im gunna assume that she knew these guy friends before you two were dating... which means that she passed them by and then chose you (a seemingly random dude at the time to the other guys in her life) so if I had to guess they're just as jealous or moreso than you are....
.....or maybe she dated one of them before you guys were together and she's comparing your shrimpy cock to theirs
....or maybe she dated several of them before you ever came along, and they all got bored with her and reverse friend zoned her
....or maybe they know something about her that you dont, and that's why the didn't pursue her.
....or maybe she got drunk one night and they all ran a train on her high-fiving and slappin that ass
....or maybe they still have these little "get togethers"
shit now i'm jealous and worried too OP
>>16481150
Then you have to practice confidence-building. There's all kinds of cheesy bs on the internet about it, but read that cheesy bs. You have to build yourself up, you have to be comfortable with yourself.
If you keep bringing yourself down, you'll bring her down. The least you can do is feign confidence, for now. Not having it automatically makes you unattractive. If you dwell on it, you'll push her away. When she talks about these guys or hangs with them, you need to remember she's still "coming home" to you.
Browsing 4chan for so many years has made me think that every human is a cheating, lying bastard with no moral code. You think your judgement of her is stemming from that a little bit? The "every woman is a cheating slut" mentality? I see threads about how easy it is for guys to cheat, and how it's "just sex," and how married men have cheated for years and so much more. But my boyfriend isn't a degenerate like those guys, and I have to remind myself of that.
I'm just trying to think of a lot of possibilities, maybe getting to the root of why you don't like yourself can help you figure out what to do about it, you know?
>>16481183
I do... Thank you. That helps alot. It's just kinda hard, when you have a literal voice whispering shit to you all the time to make you think otherwise. I'll work on it, thank you.
>>16481190
Some people say our voices are just a really personified version of our subconscious thoughts. Sometimes saying "Shut up" out loud can make them go away for a little while, at least that works for me. Or they get more upset, it's really a gamble.
Good luck, practice gaining confidence every single day.
>>16481206
Thank you, and I know what you mean. I will, you helped me a lot.
>>16481208
>>16481183
this
Also, find something more important than her (cause it sounds like she's everything right now). Hate to say this but always brace yourself for when she leaves you, it's like buying mental insurance.
Don't want go steal a thread but I've got something similar.
Almost 2 years. I have no friends because I'm unsociable and boring, girl is the only person that I have. I didn't show her enough attention because of vidya and she started talking to some virgin 'friend' who wants to fuck her. Confronted her, told her its really hurtful for me that she doesnt try to tone down his flirty, dirty shit. Instead now they jokingly talk how he shouldn't talk about her pussy. Now shes been chatting with him more than with me, about boobs and stuff. I try to make a convo with her, get short answers while she asks him questions trying to keep a convo.
Makes me feel super shitty and unconfident, which would only make it worse. I just don't know if I should better myself and 'win' her back or just drop it altogether. It's really hard to show her affection when I feel unloved and unrespected. She doesn't want to break up with me, and cried when I mentioned it, but that didn't help, made them 'better' even.
Sorry for shit english.
>>16481133
Didnt read past this point yet-
I feel like this is a "I trust her I just dont trust her friends" kind of thing which is not how it works. You dont have to trust her friends odds are one of the many you say she has probably is into her but thats not on you thats on her you need to trust her to not respond to any advances the friends make towards her thats the trust I give my girlfriend because I actually trust her. You clearly do not trust her like you say you do but instead of saying you should just break up I recommend you tell her your sorry for your immature behavior you will calm the fuck down and you will actually trust her as much as you claim you do.
>>16481359
Just read the rest here and now that I see this is more of a self confidence thing going on here I dont have much to offer since the rest of the anons took care of you but I hope she doesnt know your feelings since it kind of seems shes being held at gun point if she breaks up with you since you claimed you would go on a murder spree if she cheated on you.
>>16481102
Therapist, meds, and lots of love and support. Good luck getting a handle on this, man, I really mean that. Peace
>>16481102
>schyzo
>butchering everyone bcuz Im mad
0/10 worst bait I've ever seen 10sec on wikipedia would have saved you from writing such bullshits
>>16481347
Your relationship is fated to end and it's your fault, ignoring her to play video games is bad, and now she found somebody who gives her the attention that she needs, break up with her before you get keked and try to not make the same mistake in your futures relationships.
That isn't schizophrenia, OP. That's Khorne. He's trying to talk to you and the message is very clear.
