Almost cheated on my girlfriend 2 years ago and kept it from her, also deleted messages on facebook from guys and girls to not provoke jealousy in the relationship. She found out and we broke up. I feel beyond guilty, I fucked up so hard and it hurts beyond all. Was with her for 3 great years, we were planning on getting married and everything. It's been 3 weeks since we ended and she moved back to her parents and I'm still a fucking mess but her mother says she is doing alright; which is good.
We're talking later this week potentially, I'll be giving a formal apology and talking about what the future holds for us (this will be the second talk we've had since we broke up). Her mother says not to expect to get back together, I also told my ex that if she cancelled the talk this week that's okay, but she says she wants to have the conversation.
I don't expect to get back together with her, but I don't know how to cope with this guilt of losing the most beautiful, caring person in my life.
What do?
>>16477446
Wait, but you did not cheat. Can't she see that? You stopped out love, didn't you?
What did you expect would happen?
>>16477453
Yeah, but I messaged the girl the next day. Texted her for a half hour, talked about what could have happened (we weren't sure) it was all in the heat of the moment, good thing it didn't, never ever talked again. On my part it was fucking stupid. Told her for 2 years she was ridiculous for being jealous of other girls. Basically I'm a piece of shit.
>>16477446
I thought you didn't cheat tho?
>>16477469
In all aspects I didn't. It's more the fact that I never came forward with what happened.
>>16477472
most beta conversation i've seen in years
>>16477484
Yeah, I'm not in a state to be alpha at this point with our situation.
How did you "almost" cheat? What was done?
let that be a lesson to you, next time just cheat.There are literally no rewards for staying loyal unless your morality is hype
In 3 years she definitly almost cheated too and probably figured well if you both almost cheated then time to get that new diyuck
>>16477491
Walked into a room on new years 2 years ago. It was a bad time in our relationship, fought before the party, drinking. None are excuses but all are factors. Got in a super heated conversation with a girl and within a minute she was hinting at hooking up. I accepted and then was like what the fuck am I doing. Walked up and kissed my girlfriend right in front of the skanky ass hoe and gave up all chances with her. Went on with life, never told my girlfriend at the time. Basically the biggest mistake of my life. I also deleted facebook messages for the last 2 years of our relationship to not have conflict due to jealousy. None of the messages were sexual.
>>16477446
If you have to delete all of your messages to prevent jealousy you're better off without the cunt.
If our girlfriend's new about every girl that talked to us with the smallest intention of hooking up they would just go mad. Especially when you ditched the girl to kiss her that was pretty much all your ex needed in that situation she didnt need to know anything further. Sounds like she was just ready to make any situation lose/lose for you so that she could DIP. When a girl wants to leave you, you will be the last to know. TRUST
>>16477469
>>16477453
So if you were dating someone and they made plans to hook up with someone, then canceled last minute. Kept it hidden then you found out. You'd still trust them and feel good about your relationship?
>>16477538
Keyword here being almost
>>16477534
Yeah, that's pretty much it. I was the last to know as well and was pretty blind sided about the whole situation.
>>16477538
No not necessarily. I'm aware the trust is broken. I don't think it can overly be fixed. I'm just struggling to cope with the guilt and the loss.
>>16477541
Is that supposed to be a good thing?
Your girl left you, just get on with your life
>>16477558
Actually, yes. He did not cheat, did he?
>>16477585
No I didn't.
>>16477585
See >>16477519
Relationship was doing badly, they were fighting, he gets drunk and agrees to hooking up. Those are pretty big red flags. What happens next fight? What happens if he goes out drinking?
Add in that he talked to the girl the next day about what would have happened. No reason for that, it should have ended the second he realized it was stupid.
As for OP, not sure what to tell you. In time it will get better. You have to work on moving forward instead of dwelling on past mistakes. Keep yourself busy. That's about all you can do to get over things.
>>16477519
wait wait wait, so this was 2 years ago, you almost immediately decided not to (although you originally said yes), and left that scenario in the past where it should be
You messed up by not telling your gf about it and the deleting facebook messages is a little weird but the situation seems a little weak for a breakup
2 years ago. That being said the past 2 years have been pretty great.
>>16477446
Hey man, shit happens. We can either deal with it or fix it. Sounds like you're fixing it the right way by being honest with yourself and her about what happened.
I would just stop with the guilt because you know why you did what you did and you know you don't want to do that again. What else can be expected? For you to beat yourself up for the rest of your life?
Forgive yourself for what you did and move on. Be a positive force in her life if she wants that until you two part ways and leave it at that. If she wants you back, she already knows she can have you sooooo let her be the one to come to you if she ever gets over this shit.
Honestly? What you did was pretty fucking human. You fought, you were drunk, a hoe slipped in there at the right time, and it was nice to get validated. Sounds pretty fucking human to me. Not "good" obviously, but human. You've paid the price, no need to add interest.
But really tho - next time your girl isn't satisfying you, talk to HER about it, don't get drunk and let a hoe slip in there onto your dick. If your girl won't change her behavior and you can't deal with that, DUMP HER and then fuck all the hoes you want. You always have to be honest with yourself son because, honestly, all we have in this life is ourselves and "god" at the end of the day. Be right with yourself.
why should you two even get back together?
>>16477637
That's honestly the most use full wealth of information I've read yet. (Screencapped). Thank you very much poster. I think that's the biggest thing is I have been tacking interest onto the whole deal.
>>16477639
To work together to get through life, continue being best friends, security, sex, fun.
Bumping for op
>>16477631
I don't know. There's a few more factors at play.
>>16477915
>mature adults on 4chan
That's a joke right?
>>16477920
>>16477915
Yeah pretty much.
