What The...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>boyfriend is going away for Christmas with his friends (all boys and all party/take drugs/drink heavily)
>I am going away for Christmas with my family and family friends to a beach house
>Childhood friend Adam will be there with his family, who admitted to liking me last year
>Boyfriend told me to choose him or this trip since Adam will be there
He told me he trusts me but shouldn't go if Adam is there.
I have no interest in Adam but I feel like staying back for Christmas while he is off with his friends is so unfair.
What do?
He is being unfair. Go be with your family, never let anyone get between you and family.
Your bf's insecure, it's his problem to deal with, not yours.
That's super unfair. It's a family event. It's not like you and him are going on a road trip alone. You won't even spend the majority of your time with him.
If he trusts you, why does he really not want you to go? This is hardly romantic with Adam.
imagine if the situation was flipped. how would you feel if you found out some girl that was into your boyfriend was spending time with him right now?
that being said, he is being a controlling douche.
I don't have an answer, just insight, sorry.
>girlfriend is going away for Christmas with his friends (all girls and all party/take drugs/drink heavily)
>I am going away for Christmas with my family and family friends to a beach house
>Childhood friend Amy will be there with his family, who admitted to liking me last year
>Girlfriend told me to choose her or this trip since Amy will be there
She told me she trusts me but shouldn't go if Amy is there.
I have no interest in Amy but I feel like staying back for Christmas while she is off with his friends is so unfair.
What do?
You either go potentially get raped by his friends while drunk or let him fret over some guy you might like back while he sucks their dicks.
It's a double edged sword, so tell him to cancel with his friends or dump you.
Honestly, fuck your boyfriend. He makes you choose because he can't imagine that you won't go, and so he can justify banging some other girl on his trip. However, he probs won't want to break up. You should break up. Let Adam seduce you. Move on. This kind of uncalled for bullshit rendert your boyfriend beta as fuck.
>>16474435
Fuck i forgot to change a pronoun.
>>16474433
Eyo, birds of a feather fuck together ;)
>>16474430
>>16474432
I tried explaining this to him and all he is focusing on is Adam being there. I don't want to be alone during the holidays.
What if he breaks up with me over this?
Is this really a major deal breaker in a relationship? I know I would hate it if a girl who likes him was around him, but then again, I wouldn't usually go on holidays without him. I did this time because I don't want to be alone for Christmas.
Damn this is tough, no matter what your boyfriend does in this situation he is fucked.
1) He says nothing and Adam seduces you.
2) He gets angry and looks like a controlling asshole
3) He brings you along and pisses off his friends.
I'm trying to figure out what to do from the boyfriends perspective in case I ever am in his position and I have no idea.
I don't think he's being unfair in that he's worried about Adam, but he is being unfair in that not going means you don't get to see your family and you spend the holidays alone.
Tell him your family won't allow you just to stay home while they all go somewhere. I mean.. most wouldn't anyway. Have you told them you might have to stay back because your boyfriend doesn't want you to be around the guy? I really can't imagine a family finding that okay unless they're on the verge of disowning you for other unrelated reasons.
>>16474449
woops,
>looks like a controlling asshole
controlling insecure asshole*
twice as bad.
>>16474449
Adam can't seduce me, he has tried and failed miserably in the past. If I wanted Adam, I would be with Adam.
>>16474457
Your boyfriend doesn't know that for sure.
And people change, he could turn into some super badass. but probably not lel
>>16474457
Thats literally what every girl says before "well we just had some drinks!! He was supposed to take me back to my cabin after i sobered up but one thing led to another"
>>16474464
not him, but besides the over generalization it's a fair point. A few drinks can easily turn a best friend into a sexual partner.
>>16474464
>implying it doesnt happen all the time
>>16474467
At the same time, if her boyfriend can't trust her, when she's given him no reason not to, then that's his problem. She shouldn't have to follow his demands because he irrationally doesn't trust her
>>16474467
I don't drink
Adam doesn't drink
So I recently ran into the same situation, and my SO didn't contact me the entire three days he was gone. for me would have helped allot if he texted/called me each day to make sure I was okay and to update me. I admit I'm a needy person, but it would have prevented our fight since I was already feeling insecure
>>16474475
I know 100% my boyfriend will not contact me while he is with his friends.
>>16474471
Its not a matter of irrationality
He knows adam likes her
Therefore she should avoid adam to avoid any bad scenarios
I love and trust my best friend but i sure as fuck wouldnt give him all my money to hold for me. Do i "irrationally" think he would waste it on purpose or lose it? No, but i would never want to get into the potential scenario where he might.
>>16474480
I think she meant that it might ease his mind if you texted or called him every day.
Seriously though, if my boyfriend was acting this way, I'd consider ending it.
Give him an ultimatum.
>I'll stay home for christmas if you do too, otherwise fuck you
>>16474481
>but i would never want to get into the potential scenario where he might.
What about the potential scenario the boyfriend is putting himself into?
>>16474481
But at the same time, if he trusts her and isn't insecure, then he should be more okay with this. I can understand some unease about Adam's presence, but it takes two to tango and if he doesn't trust her when she's given him no reason not to, then that's on him.
>>16474482
He has told me numerous times that when he is with friends, he ignores everything else because he is busy with them. He can call me, for sure.
>>16474483
I think I will do this.
>>16474481
It's pretty obvious OP isn't comfortable with what his plans are either, but she's not stopping him from going. If he's going to demand she doesn't go, she is within her right to demand he doesn't either.
>>16474486
This. He is going with friends to party and HE is worried about HER being around family and ONE potential threat? Pft
>>16474490
>I think I will do this.
Good.
>>16474494
I agree. He's off partying alone with his douche mates and she needs to sit at home like a pet? No OP go away to this trip and dump him regardless for even having the audacity to demand this.
>He told he trusts me
>but
lol
>>16474449
4) she goes and enjoys Christmas with her family and does not have sex with Adam
How deluded are you that this is not an option for you?
I think you should just get down to business and dump him for being a controlling insane person. What is he going to make you start wearing burkas lest another man look up you with desire? He's being a huge child.
The proper course would have been for him to say " hope that you have a good time but I just wish Adam wasn't there he makes me uncomfortable" you say "you have nothing to worry about, I've rejected him and am with you" and then Feel reassured
>>16474567
Cause the bitch knows that niggas gonna make a move dipshit.
This bitch is lonely and in need a bit of booze and some flirting is all it takes.
Honestly op go with your folks but you can't blame him girls aren't trust worthy.
This is why I'm glad I'm fucking gay I never have these ducking problems
>>16474778
Wow phone you have forsaken me.
>>16474778
You cunts are the sluttiest out there, fag.
Did I get it right that he wants you to be alone on Christmas? He wants you to do nothing while he wouldn't even be there for you but away partying? You can't seriously consider thinking he's right
>>16475165
I'm gay not a flaming fucking butt gorilla I fucking hate the pride parades too
